Title::..Riding the Waves

Spoilers::..Through the Looking Glass

Rating::..G

Genre::..Drama

Characters::..Claire, Charlie and Aaron

Pairing::..CC

Author's Note::..When I first saw Flashes Before Your Eyes I thought it was cute when Claire said she went for swims every day, pretty much because to me anything Claire says is cute. In this fic I decided to look a little deeper, such as why she goes for the morning swims and what it is like out in the water, also, how the heck didn't Charlie know considering how close they became in season three?

Summary::..Claire thinks no one knows of her daily morning swims, but it doesn't take long for Charlie to discover her secret.

Claire thought she was very quiet when she snuck out of the tent every morning just after sunrise. She moved as quietly as possible. She made sure Aaron was in a deep sleep before removing him from her arms to return to his cradle. She was very aware of her limbs, always careful not to knock Charlie as she slipped out of the bed they had been sharing for the past three weeks. She slipped her boots on and silently stole out of the tent. Charlie never said anything and so she wasn't aware that five mornings out of seven he heard her leaving the tent.

The beach was eerie in the orange glow of the morning sun. Usually it was silent when she emerged from the tent. The beach camp was a different place at the beginning of the day. There were no arguments and no one was adding instalments to their tents with hammers. The sounds of the waves crashing competed with Hurley's snores. The birds were chirping as they woke up, not yet at their full volume. It was peaceful; the sense of menace did not exist this early in the day.

Claire enjoyed the island most in the morning. She walked slowly beside the water admiring the natural beauty – it seemed as perfect as a postcard image. The morning was untouched by the poison troubles of the awaiting day. These were the innocent hours of the day. Claire opened her arms and let it all soak into her body. It was these moments, with the sea breeze playing amongst her hair, which provided her with the strength to endure all of the challenges of the upcoming day.

She kicked her boots off, slid out of her jeans and discarded her over-shirt onto the sand. She stepped forward and the waves moved up to lick her toes. The water was cold and when she dove beneath the surface it refreshed her, waking her up as effectively as two cups of coffee. She had been going out for these morning swims daily for the past four weeks. It was nice to have something that was routine, it almost reminded her of normal life. When paddling out until her arms ached she could forget about the smoke 'monster'. The waves slapped her repeatedly in the face and when she closed her eyes Ethan's smiling face wasn't looming there. It was also lovely to have time to herself. In the water she could concentrate on swimming rather than worrying about Aaron's upbringing. She was an insignificant woman, lost in the beauty of nature.

Floating on her back she would watch the sun rise higher in the sky. When it rose above the mountains she paddled her way back to the shore. She pat herself dry, pulled her pants back on and tied her soaking hair into a bun. She walked back to camp, trying to act as normal as possible now that more of her fellow survivors were awake. Some watched her with curious eyes, but she smiled and waved good morning. Then she returned to her tent and most mornings Charlie was still asleep. She picked a fussing Aaron up and changed his nappy. Activity began to spring up all around her. The beginning of the day was signified by Hurley's snores silencing.

Claire didn't tell anyone about her swims. She didn't want anyone to think it was a bad idea and try to talk her out of it. She knew there was a risk; Joanna and Scott had drowned. She didn't want anyone to worry about her. It was her time to be alone and relax, she didn't need Jack standing on the shore, playing lifeguard. She found freedom amongst the waves.

Claire thought she was very quiet when she snuck out of the tent every morning just after sunrise. She didn't realize that five mornings out of seven Charlie heard her leaving. There were mornings when he woke up at the same time or before her and he heard every move she made. He kept his eyes shut until the sound of her sneakers crunching against the sand disappeared beneath the surge of the ocean. Then he rolled over to see her walking down the beach, not looking back, focused on her location.

When she returned to the tent over an hour later she smelt of sea salt. He asked where she had been but every time she had told him she had simply gone to pee in the jungle. He hadn't pushed the matter any further, deciding not to force her into telling him. If she wanted him to know then she would tell him. Until then it wasn't any of his business.

He tried to keep his curiosity under wraps. But more mornings past with him listening to her sneaking away. He couldn't help thinking about how she might be spending her mornings. He was awoken by the sound of the makeshift bed creaking as her weight was removed. He remained still, his eyes shut. He watched her leaving in his mind, the sound powering the image. The noise of her shoes disappeared and he sat up. Aaron chose this moment to vocalize his desires to be held. He was awake and he wanted Charlie to know.

He scooped the baby up, without much thought. Out of habit his hand went immediately to the back of Aaron's head while he folded the baby into the most comfortable position against his body. Aaron didn't settle quickly as normal. He continued to whinge, even as Charlie began to bounce him steadily. An idea dawned in Charlie's mind. He stepped out of the tent and started down the beach, after Claire. Aaron was the perfect excuse, being taken for a walk usually calmed him so Charlie had every right to be out on the beach and if he bumped into Claire he had a cover story.

He did everything in his power to 'accidentally' bump into Claire. His eyes darted all around. He searched behind every rock and constantly scanned the jungle for movement. When he finally did find Claire he felt foolish for not figuring her secret out for himself. Her blonde head was easy to spot amongst the foaming waves. He watched her as she moved with the tugging and shoving of the tide.

He didn't wish to interrupt her. She seemed very relaxed as she floated on her back, welcoming the rising sun into her pores. He turned and returned to the camp. By the time he reached their tent Aaron had whimpered himself to sleep again. Charlie fetched himself breakfast, propped himself up on the table while Hurley held Aaron. He had only shovelled the first mouthful in when he spotted Claire; entering the camp as carefree as could be. She cooed a good morning to Aaron. Charlie continued to act oblivious.

The following morning he made sure he was awake before Claire. When she woke up she appeared surprised. He greeted her pleasantly. "Perfect day for a swim."

"Yeah, ideal." She agreed, the first hints of suspicion beginning to show on her face.

He shrugged. "Well, off you go then."

She paused, taking a moment to stifle her surprise and gather her façade. "Why would I do that? I've got too much stuff to do, I have to change Aaron and it's my day to help Rose make breakfast…"

"Cut it out Claire, I know that you always go for a swim first thing in the morning." He stated.

She gave up pretending. "How do you know that?"

"Please." He said, acting ever-wise. "We share the same tent, how could I not notice you leaving every morning?"

"Right." She said. "Sorry I never told you; it's just that I didn't want to worry you."

"It's okay." He replied. "I get it, it's your thing like with me playing guitar by myself for a couple of hours. So go on, get all salty and wet, I'll take care of Aaron and everything else. You go on and relax for a couple of hours."

She smiled, getting up. "Thanks Charlie." She leant down to press a warm kiss on his cheek.

"Maybe I could come with you one morning?" He suggested.

"Yeah, that'd be great." She agreed before leaving. After a few steps she turned back to see him watching her. She smiled, raising a hand to him. She faced her path after that, the breeze caught in her hair, whipping it up, freeing it from the shadow of the plait she had weaved it into last night.

Charlie had seen it many times, the wildness in Claire's eyes. He doubted anyone else had noticed it. But he could see it. The rest of her face was constantly calm and it was rare that her emotions raged out of control. In the blue of her eyes all was revealed, she could keep no secrets there. When looking in her eyes he saw unrestrained desires dancing like embers. He supposed it was when she was swimming that she unleashed the embers to consume her. After her swims she returned to the tent appearing refreshed and for that day the wild side had been satisfied. She would go about her daily tasks, in her own body for the rest of the day. The wildness always returned.

He asked her about it after much wondering. "What is it? Were you some kind of pro swimmer back in Australia?"

"No, it's nothing like that." She replied, her body rocking slowly as Aaron settled in to his afternoon nap. "I just like the way it feels out there, so unpredictable. Here on the beach we're trying to make this camp as much like home as possible, we want to control everything…"

"That's not a bad thing." He injected.

"I'm not saying it is." She returned. "But when I'm out there in the sea nothing is planned, it's all spontaneous and there's no time to plan, I have to react straight away. It gets my blood pumping and the adrenaline goes crazy. It makes me feel alive as opposed to some days here when I feel like we're just waiting to die."

He considered her with a suspiciously furrowed brow. "So you're not an ex-Olympian swimmer?"

"No, I just enjoy it. Sometimes the sea conquers me but some days I conquer it." She told him.

He shook his head. "You're a bit of a sick puppy Claire."

"Oh come on, you used to do drugs Charlie, don't you remember how great it feels to let go of control for a while?" She asked causing him to laugh, she replied with a smile. The wildness had consumed the blue of her eyes again.

The wildness was stolen from Claire's eyes the day she almost lost her life. She was pulled from the ocean lifeless. It took the rest of the day for her to return to something like herself. Over the next few days she might have been able to fool the rest of the camp, but when Charlie looked in her eyes he could see a noticeable change – there were no longer sparks flying in her eyes. It seemed that the wildness had been laid to rest.

She stopped going for her morning swims. When he woke up she would be in the tent or still lying beside him. She didn't mention what had happened after that first day. She barely went near the ocean. He could tell she was still carrying the terrible scare but he also knew she missed her old friend. Sometimes he caught her staring out at the waves, longing painted across her features. He didn't ask, he thought it was best to allow Claire her own time and space to heal.

Perhaps he was relieved by the idea she was staying out of the water now. He knew she was safe and this was all that mattered to him.

Sometimes Claire has dreams she is in the water, drowning again, but this time Desmond will not be there to pull her out of the water. The salty water stings her nose and there is an unrelenting pressure on her lungs. She struggles as hard as she can but everything moves so very slowly. She cannot lift her head to find the surface.

When she opens her eyes she sees she is not alone. Charlie is floating in front of her. He seems oddly peaceful, dressed the same way he had upon their first meeting – a hooded sweatshirt and jeans. He smiles at her, a pillar of bubbles shooting out from his mouth. Then he closes his eyes and crosses himself before floating away.

Claire opens her eyes, sits up in her bed and looks around the house she shares with the woman her son still calls 'mommy'. Her nostrils sting from the rush of water and her heart hammers. She doesn't swim in the ocean anymore; instead she rides the waves of grief that come as one name remains tattooed on her mind.

The End.