League of Daycare
Anyone who plays League of Legends knows that there are some unique characters in the game. But what would happen if all the characters were turned into preschoolers? Well, some unfortunate summoners/ random people/ stupid Rito employees who won't give us solo que (pick your favorite) are about to find out, because that is exactly what just happened!
"What do we do?!" a twenty-something-year-old guy yells, as toddler Amumu buries his head in his leg and starts crying.
"I don't know!" another guy in his twenties exclaims, as toddler Nami barfs up seaweed all over his shirt.
"Um! Um!" another guy exclaims, frantically trying to figure out how to prevent the disaster that is soon to come. The daycare center is nice enough, with colorful rooms and safe, fun toys, but that isn't the danger. No, the danger is the champions themselves!
As the people who are suddenly running a daycare argue about what to do, the trouble is already starting! Rengar had just finished building a tower out of blocks, and was happy with it, when he looks around and sees Kha'Zix has built a block tower twice as tall! Rengar frowns, and decides he wants to build his block tower that large too, but when he tries to stack more blocks, his tower falls over!
Furious, Rengar walks over to Kha'Zix and knocks his tower over! "Hey! You big meanie!" Kha'Zix exclaims. Rengar ignores him, and goes back to building his block tower, but before he can finish, Kha'Zix knocks it over!
"Hey!" Rengar exclaims. Kha'Zix sticks his tongue out at him, causing Rengar to yell and leap at Kha'Zix in the start of a fist fight.
"Hey! Break it up, you two!" a daycare assistant yells, but he has barely even begun to break up the fight when another one ensues! Renekton wants to play with his big brother, Nasus, but they can't agree on what to play. Nasus wants to play Snafu, because guiding the stack of marbles through the complicated maze takes precision and brains. Renekton, on the other hand, wants to play Hungry Hungry Hippos, because he likes smashing the buttons.
"Let's play Snafu," Nasus suggests.
"No, Hungry Hungry Hippos!" Renekton insists.
"Snafu!"
"Hippos!"
"Snafu!"
"Hippos!"
"Snafu!"
"HIPPOS!" Renekton yells, throwing the Hungry Hungry Hippos box at Nasus, causing his arm to bleed, and Jhin to look up from the drawing he was scribbling.
"Ooh, so prettyful! So wed!" he says, mispronouncing the letter "r" in "red" the way little kids often do. After all, he is only four years old.
Vladimir, who was taking a nap in the corner, sniffs the air and mumbles "Blood?" Then his eyes shoot open "BLOOD!" he cheers, charging over to Nasus and happily licking his arm.
"Vladimir, stop that! Blood is icky. You'll get sick," a daycare person scolds, as Nasus tries to run away from Vladimir.
Unfortunately, what nobody realized is that, in his haste to get to Nasus, Vladimir stepped on Annie's bear and broke his arm off! "Have you seen my bear, Tibbers?" Annie asks, but no one responds. Then she sees her broken bear on the ground. "TIBBERS!" she wails, clutching Tibbers in her arms. "SOMEONE HELP TIBBERS!"
"Oh no!" Soraka exclaims, rushing over and seeing what happened. "Here, let me heal him," she says, throwing a green orb of healing at Tibbers and causing his arm to reconnect with his body.
"YAY! TIBBERS!" Annie cheers, skipping away to show everyone how awesome her bear is. Meanwhile, Soraka's shoulders droop. "Thanks, Soraka," she mumbles to herself.
"Aww, are your feelings hurt because Annie didn't thank you?" a daycare person asks, overhearing Soraka.
Soraka nods miserably.
"Well, suck it up! You're a support, you should know by now that no one ever thanks supports! Stop being such a baby!" the person yells, causing Soraka to cry.
The daycare person doesn't notice, however, as she is too busy responding to the latest crisis. "KOG MAW! TWITCH! GET OVER HERE! YOU'VE JUST EARNED YOURSELVES A TIME-OUT!" she yells, just as part of the floor collapses in the aftermath of their spitting contest, since they both have corrosive spit.
The daycare person sighs. "Rammus, could you be a good boy and get me some paper towels?" she asks, hoping to get the remaining poison off the floor before any kids get poisoned.
"Ok," Rammus replies, lumbering off in search of paper towels. He soon finds the cabinet that the towels are in, but it has twenty drawers. "Hmm…" Rammus says, as he tries to figure out what drawer they are in. Eventually, he finds them, and comes back with several rolls of paper towels tucked in his burly arms.
"Thank you, Rammus," the daycare person smiles, causing Rammus to spin on his shell in happiness, before rolling off to the sandbox to join Azir and Sivir in building sandcastles.
What Rammus forgot to do, however, was to throw away the cardboard cylinders that the paper towels used to be wrapped around, and Fiora has an idea of what to do with them. "I challenge you to a duel!" she yells, picking up a cardboard roll and thrusting it in Garen's direction.
"DEMACIA!" Garen yells, picking up a roll of his own and pointing it towards her as well.
Soon, Fiora, Garen, Master Yi, Wukong, Aatrox, Darius, Jarvan IV, Katarina, Kayle, Riven, Xin Zhao, Shen, and Zed are all whacking each other with cardboard rolls. Shen and Zed soon get board of fighting the others, and end up just fighting each other. It soon becomes clear that Shen is both landing and blocking more whacks, but Zed is a sore loser, so he comes up with an alternative way of winning. "TICKLE FIGHT!" Zed yells, dropping his "sword" on the ground and instead attacking Shen with tickles.
"Ha ha ha stop! Ha ha, that's cheating!" Shen exclaims in between giggles.
"Never!" Zed exclaims, continuing to torture Shen with tickles as Veigar watches in approval.
The daycare staff don't notice this, because they are too busy trying to stop an argument about finger guns before it turns ugly. Twisted Fate and Graves have agreed to play cowboys, and are pretending to shoot at things with their hands, which they are holding up in such a way that they look like guns. Just then, they run into Caitlyn and Vi, who are also pretending to shoot at things with their finger guns.
"Yay! More cowboys!" Graves cheers.
Caitlyn frowns. "What cowboys? We're playing cops. I'm the sheriff," she announces, pointing to a paper star taped to her shirt that has "Shareif" scribbled on it in purple crayon.
"Well, I'm an outlaw," Graves decides, then raises his finger gun and makes "Pew! Pew!" sounds. "Now you're dead, and I'm the sheriff."
"No, I'm the sheriff!" Vi argues. "I'm the deputy, so I would be sheriff," she says, gesturing to the star on her shirt that says "Debyoutee" in pink crayon.
"Nuh uh!" Graves exclaims.
"Yeah huh!" Vi argues.
"Nuh uh!"
"Yeah huh!"
"No, I'm the sheriff!" a new voice exclaims. Everyone looks up in surprise as Jinx swings across the ceiling on a rope like Tarzan swinging on a vine, one hand on the rope, the other held out in the shape of a gun. "Pewpewpewpew!" You're all dead and I'm the sheriff!" she cheers.
"JINX! I TOLD YOU I DON'T WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU!" Vi roars, just as the rope breaks and Jinx falls to the floor.
"Whoopsies," she says, giggling as she lands at the feet of a furious Vi.
It takes a long time for the daycare staff to break the ensuing fight up, during which, Vi gives several of them bruises. Eventually, however, the fight is stopped. The daycare personnel give a sigh of relief as Jinx and Vi finally stop talking… then gasp as they hear a huge wail of crying!
They rush to the other side of the room to find Fiora standing in the center of a ring of crying toddlers, holding her paper towel role up triumphantly while everyone else sobs into their broken paper towel roles in defeat. The daycare staff try to calm them down, but while they are doing so, they realize that several of the "swordsmen/swordswomen", the "cops" and the daycare staff themselves are injured.
"Where is Soraka?" a daycare person asks. "We could really use her help right now." The daycare staff look everywhere, before realizing that Soraka got so fed up with the way supports are treated that she went afr (away from room). Upon realizing this, the daycare staff try to get Nami's help, but she is still barfing up seaweed for some reason.
"I can help!" Lux exclaims, upon realizing the daycare staff need help.
"I don't know Lux… do you have healing powers?" a daycare supervisor asks doubtfully, knowing that she has no healing q, w, e, or r.
"Of course!" she replies cheerfully, opening a book and flipping a few pages before saying "Aha!"
"Wingardian Leviosa!" she says, waving Fiora's winning paper towel roll at the injured people as she says so and causing them to float up to the ceiling!
"Wait a minute… is that Harry Potter?!" a daycare staff member who is a Harry Potter fan exclaims, lifting the side of the book up to reveal that the title is Harry Potter. "Lux! You can't heal them using fake Harry Potter spells!"
"We can do this!" Lux insists, flipping more pages. "Lumos!" she yells, waving her paper towel role and causing a glowing orb of light to shoot out of it. The light reflects off a puddle of juice from someone's spilled juice box, causing it to turn into rainbows. "A double rainbow?! What does it mean?" Lux says, staring at the rainbows so intently that she loses focus on her levitating spell, and the injured people fall to the ground and get more injured. At the sound of crying that ensues, the daycare staff wonder if anything will ever go right today!
Just then, Pantheon yells "I BAKED COOKIES!" Curious, a few people wander over as Pantheon opens the Easy Bake Oven to reveal a heaping tray full of scrumptious chocolate chip cookies!
As the heavenly smell of the cookies reaches everyone's noses, the whole daycare comes running over to eat them up. The daycare staff, noticing that Pantheon baked less than 134 cookies, break all the cookies in half, and then in fourths, so that every toddler can have some. Amazingly, no one complains about how small the pieces are, or that someone's piece was one crumb bigger than theirs. The daycare staff feel like things are looking up. Maybe the hardest part is over. Maybe caring for these young champions will get easier now.
Just then, Morgana yells "I BAKED COOKIES TOO!" She opens her oven… and the daycare explodes into a mushroom cloud, causing all 134 toddlers to start crying, and the daycare staff to cry as well.
AN: What do you think? Funny or terrible? Feel free to leave a review :)
Notes:
I'm only level 25, so I don't play ranked yet. I just notice people on the boards commenting about "stupid rito y no solo que?" constantly, so I figured I'd make a joke about it.
Also, I mostly play mid lane, but I notice people aren't very nice to supports, so I thought I'd show them some… well… support.