Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any of it's characters.

Chapter 1

I honestly didn't believe that I would ever be in love again. She had never laid a hand on me, but still, it felt as if Rosalie had left me alone in a ditch, torn apart as if by some supernatural creature. Since then, since that day when the only love I had ever believed was reciprocal had ruined me, I had pulled myself out of the ditch, and walked about the rest of my life as if it were still part of that motion, as if I was still scraping my nails against the dirt.

Rosalie had always had a boyfriend. That never bothered me, I was never jealous. If anything, I felt sorry for him. Rosalie always assured me that he was just for show, her parents were Catholic after all.

From the moment Rosalie stood in front of my choir class to give her music history presentation, and her boots swished past my chair on her way to the stage, from the way she walked, the aggressive curves of her arms slicing the air as she spoke -I knew she was not someone to be crossed. This thought was smothered when she looked at me and smiled during biology, we were lab partners. The warmth of her smile, though her sharp teeth hinted at danger, wrapped around my brain and pushed all negative thoughts away. Rosalie was turning her intelligent gaze on me and my heart beating desperately to form a thought that could catch up with it was my only focus.

Without Rosalie, my head was as dark as the clouds overhead in Forks, Washington. It was ironic, really. It was like my social worker sensed my mood and immediately moved me to a place with weather to match.

I wasn't nervous on the first day of school -at least I told myself that. I think what put me off the most about the place, were that their were all of these puppy dog-like guys crowding me, and when I looked at their faces, and saw the poorly concealed desperation there, all I could think of was how this was what I must have looked like to Rosalie. Except Rosalie never had any sympathy for me. All I wanted to do was laugh awkwardly, and agree to every stupid thing they said, if they would only stop looking at me like that.

The only person I could relax around a little was Edward. The first thing he did when he saw me was smile and wave and ask if I liked the weather. I told him it was a big change from Florida. He pulled out his phone fifteen minutes into class and asked me who I thought was hotter Channing Tatum or Ryan Gosling. I was caught off guard, stabbed with the memory of homophobia in Florida public high schools and Rosalie...

"Uh...I don't know," I gasped. Shit.

He grinned at me knowingly. Stupid, he doesn't know what he thinks he knows. I'm not a homophobic asshole or anything.

"I've always liked Ryan Gosling better. He looks more like my boyfriend. He's not as hot though, as my boyfriend -I guess maybe I'm biased. Jasper always gets annoyed if he sees me looking at his picture, even if I'm just reading the back of the Notebook."

I tapped my foot against the ground. Twisted my lip between my teeth. Looked along the wall above the whiteboard, where the teacher was writing out an equation, and waited for the courage to come. Then I turned back to Edward.

"You know, I don't really have a preference as far as Ryan Gosling, or Channing Tatum goes, for, you know, attractiveness. I have, though, I have always thought Natalie Portman was a hell of a lot hotter than...well, any male celebrity, and plenty of female celebrities as well."

Edward looked at me, grinning again, but this time more friendly. "You sound like my sister, Alice."

The name brushed against me with all of the softness of a spider web when you run into it in the woods.

"Don't tell her I said that though," Edward said. "She doesn't want anyone to know how big of a crush she had on Natalie Portman all throughout elementary school."

I smiled and laughed a little, confused and reassured at the same time with the amount of familiarity Edward spoke to me with.

Okay, I was nervous about lunch, I'll admit that. But all of my nervousness felt wasted when Edward waved me over to his table. I had gone through the lunch line early, and so had Edward apparently, so we were the only two at the table for a little while. Then Jasper showed up, and wrapped his fingers around Edward's hand as he ate. I stared down at my own food without touching it. I was skinny enough so they would just assume I was anorexic, probably, though of course in reality anorexia had nothing to do with body weight.

Rosalie had warned me profusely, but so far I had felt no cravings. I contributed that to my depression.

I was still looking at the table when a purple skirt moved into my line of sight.

"Edward, can you believe the abuse that high schoolers put Cafeteria pizza through? I think I'll starve if I have to keep living on lettuce."

"Get here early," Edward said.

"Even if you do though, the pizza still tastes like cardboard and glue smeared in wax." Jasper supplied.

Alice laughed, a high laugh like water when it's still at the top of the arch of a waterfall.

"And how would you know what that tasted like?" She slide into her chair, fairy-like. "Nevermind, don't tell me. I don't want to know...!"

I was finding it hard to remember how to get air out of my lungs. I forced myself to look up and into Alice's eyes, but regretted it immediately. Her eyes seemed to connect with mine and with every vein in my body, which now seemed to be lurching towards her. I was gripping the table top tightly. I let it go and clasped my hands in my lap, digging my nails into my palms, willing them to spill blood, my own blood, if only I could keep my teeth, which were watering, from spilling another's...

Alice regarded me softly with her brown eyes, seeming to take my discomfort for nerves. "Oh, whose this, Edward?" Her hand slid out a little on the table. I wanted to scream at her to take it back. Everything inside of me wanted to grab her wrist...I had never felt this before.

Edward smiled kindly. "This is Bella, my new friend. She's from Florida."

"Oh, Florida, it's pretty hot down their, huh?" Alice looked at me with a naturally flirty tone, the way that dandelions naturally turned their petals to the sun.

I managed to nod. I looked down at the table. Choked. Coughed. "Um, excuse me."

I got up from the table and could feel their eyes on me, but I only stared at the floor. Moving through the tables without looking at anybody, quickening my steps as my desire to turn back around and full out run back to the table only increased with them.

Outside, I breathed, tried to breath, and stumbled towards the woods. When I was far enough in for the trees to hide me from the school, I pulled out my cellphone. I pressed my free hand to my forehead, then feeling lightheaded, bent and pressed it to my knee.

I never wanted to speak to her again, but here I was, being forced too. "Rosalie," It took all of my remaining strength to say her name without my voice breaking. "I need your help, it's happening, just like you said."

"Well, baby," She drew out her syllables lazily. "What makes you think I can help you?"

"Rosalie, please. It's the last thing I'll ever ask you, if you can just teach me how to control it."

Rosalie chuckled. "I thought you didn't need my help. I thought little Bella had it all under control. What was it that you did, only ate little does, and never got any cravings for human flesh at all."

I cringed at the memory. Well, repeated, memories. If I could be a real vegetarian, a literal one, after the things I had seen as a vampire, I would be. "Rosalie, I was wrong. Please, please, please. You made me this way, please."

I could almost feel Rosalie's eyes flash, as if she were watching me from Florida. As if she could see me through all of those states between us. "Well, I must say I enjoy to here you beg, Bella, it quite suits you."

I felt my cheeks flush.

Rosalie gave a long sigh. A stage sigh. "Fine."

"Thank you!" Okay, I didn't mean to sound that relieved.

"I'll meet you in a couple days. In the meantime, I would suggest getting really good at faking a cold for your foster parents, or, because we both know you can't act, skip school entirely. Maybe don't even come home. Wait, how many people exactly are you finding irresistible? Is it everyone? Just some people? Just some special someone?"

I couldn't help but shudder as she said the last word. I had been Rosalie's...Rosalie had been mine...I gave my head a little shake. "No -it's, it's not everyone. I can go home, to well, my foster parents. I'll skip school and call it in."

"Well, good. Looks like the bad girl has got it all figured out."

The sarcasm dripped from Rosalie's voice like fresh blood dripping from her teeth.

"Don't yearn for me too much," she said. "I'll be there soon."