Mission: Nearly impossible
Note: this story is not in any way shape or form based on anything that I know of that is true if this is in anyway true it is an unlikely coincidence so don't even think about getting me in trouble :)
Also this is my first fic. And if it stinks let me know and ill work on it ok... here we go!
Another note: This story picks up where TWINE left off (the world is not enough) Also can anyone give me "R's" real code name because I know that's not it but I don't know it so that's what I'm using.
1 The name's Bond, James bond
Sophisticated secret agent James Bond had just gotten back to MI6 HQ via 009's car seeing as his was destroyed. Bond was still sweating from saving the world from terrorists...again. "Ahh James have u brought me back something from your trip?" moneypenny asked. 007 smiled that smile only he can do and said I left it in my car..." Bond left the office and headed down the maze of corridors towards Q division
As he got to the doors he mourned for a moment at the loss of his great friend Q who had retired before his last mission began and sadly died short after. Bond was recalling some of the nicer times with Q when he was snapped out of his daydream by Q's replacement R. R really did not take a liking to Bond from the start but oh well. "007 cant u bring back anything in pristine order?" Bond smiled inside and thought at least part of Q is still here. Bond responded to R's comment by saying my watch is fine isn't it?" R looked at 007 untrusting and said hmmm I suppose." Anyway I suppose you need more gadgets well here they are and please bring at least some back in new order. Bond was handed a large brown bag full of the usual stuff a new wolfram P2k with silencer, more watch darts, 9.6 mm ammo film for his camera, and other things 00 agents need. 007 sat down the bag on a counter as he was escorted to yet another new car. R gulped as he led the way to it. "Here it is she has everything missiles behind the headlights, machine gun behind each rear view mirror titanium armor so you can't mess it up so easy. Rotating license plates for each state and 3 for other countries. And let me tell you again you have a license to kill not, "to break traffic laws 007 interrupted. You know how all of these weapons are activated this is the same car you had before except with extra cup holders and more speakers. R walked away annoyed. 007 left and headed back to M's office picking up his gadgets on his way out. There was already an agent there. "007 so glad you could join us this is your assistant for this mission." M said, "I always have worked alone before." Bond replied calmly M's eyes narrowed only during the missions 007 afterwards your always...partnered with someone." The other agent smiled a little.
"Point taken." 007 replied so who is this new agent I've never seen him before. M introduced this stranger "James Bond meet Ethan Hunt."
2) Mission impossible meets MI6
"Ethan Hunt?" Bond as puzzled not understanding isn't he from..." "Yes, I am" Ethan answered for 007 "Ethan was let go after his last mission with his old force for failing one of his 3 objectives." As if he could read 007's mind Ethan I did not fail! I did not bring back a living sample of the chimera on purpose it was insane to ask for a sample!" M eased the tension a little. Bond please give Mr. Hunt or should I say 006's gadgets motioning to the paper bag. James opened it up and for the first time realized that there were 2 of everything. Bond could not take this. M with all due respect y did you make him 006, 006 was...was...." Bond couldn't finish his statement something was really wrong with him lately the deaths of friends were really getting to him and it bothered him. Bond stood there recalling the moment when he dropped his closest friend from the dish in Cuba there wasn't a day that went by where he didn't wish he hadn't killed him. "Alec Travailion, I know 007" M finished. Ethan saw that this bothered 007 so he spoke up "M if this number is a problem it can always be changed. Bond replied "No, No its fine..." so what's the mission then Ethan asked as Bond handed Ethan his equipment. M sitting down at her desk sighed and said "007, 006 there have been rumors spreading throughout MI6 that there is a traitor among us. According to the rumor he has been with us for a long time that's why some of the head terrorists and their cohorts have been pulling off little operations. You r mission is to find this traitor and dispose of him or her whoever they may be I don't care if its Moneypenny James do you understand I want this traitor dead. Ethan and Bond left the office and continued down another corridor leading to a black unmarked door. Bond opened it and saw a funny short little man. Upon seeing the two agents he looked up from his work and pulled a gun.
3) License to kill
Ethan looked a little worried but Bond had been in tougher spots. He smiled as the man pulled the trigger. Ethan dove for cover behind a computer desk and in one swift move pulled his wolfram at leveled it at the man drop it now! Ethan yelled 007 and the funny bald man were laughing only now did 006 realize tat protruding from the gun was a stick and attached to that was a flag that read BANG! Ethan rolled his eyes and put his wolfram away. You would both be fired if this was..." 006 started. 007 interrupted "but its not you work for MI6 now." Bond said still laughing a little the funny man would not introduce himself but gave 006 2 cards one was a swipe card to gain access to any place his clearance allowed the other was a license a license to kill. Ethan picked both up and put them in his wallet. After that little scene 006 followed Bond back to Q labs. Their Ethan was shown how to use his gadgets and was issued a watch complete with stunner, Lazer, 12 darts, and of course a grapple. R handed both agents a plane ticket and they hopped in their BMW and began to leave. Right outside the building a woman stopped them. "Hey boys u wanna take me with you in a very flirty way. Bond recognized the woman as Christmas Jones the newest member of MI6 apart from Ethan. 003 (Christmas) hopped in the car and straddled 007 giving him a quick kiss on his cheek. Bond said to 006 You're in her seat, Move!" 006 moved to the back. "But, James I'm comfortable here" she said kissing him again. 003 reluctantly moved over but not before kissing him again. "Nice to see you also 002" bond said. "OH great we have a woman on our team to. Before anyone knew the Lazer sight of a raptor magnum was leveled at Ethan's crotch. Is there a problem with that." 007 seeing what was going to happen said Now, 002 what would R say if you got blood all over the back seat of this new car I haven't even put a scratch in it yet. 002 put her raptor away. But warned 006 not to ever make another sexist comment like that again 006 was the first to realize there was no one on the street except them. "Hey why is there no power or traffic 002 ask was there a blackout?" A plane zoomed low overhead dropping something that could not be seen from that height bond wasn't really worried about it. 007 pushed a button on the dash and a sniper rifle scope zoomed in on the small box now known to be a bomb. Bond fired 3 shots at it and it exploded problem solved. Now they had to worry about the people coming from the building to the left there had 2 be 50 all with automatic weapons drop your weapons Bond dropped his weapon on the ground and the other 2 agents followed. "The watches the mask man said all three slowly removed their watches and dropped them outside the car. "Now get out NOW!" the masked man yelled with a deep Russian accent. They got out with their hands on their heads Bond and Ethan were searched for weapons quickly, but the guard searching Christmas was very through. "Watch your hand mister" she yelled trying to attack this pervert "I am the man replied. Continuing to feel her up. Now the man had gone to far he reached his hand p her shirt and removed was trying to remove her bra. 002 elbowed him in the face but a dart to her neck quickly ended her attack 006 and 007 were escorted 2 a room inside the building and Christmas was just coming around they were all in a cell underground. All their gear was locked up above ground it was hopeless. Not quite bond wrapped his arms around Christmas and said 002 I know this is it we have no escape this time I don't want to die a virgin do you?" "But James we aren't..." Bond stopped her by kissing her and unbuttoning her shirt after the kiss bond whispered in her ear play along, get my satellite phone from my pocket. Christmas reached in his side pocket and found the cell phone. The guard was fully interested in seeing 002 with her shirt off completely oblivious to the fact that she had given the phone to 007 who was pushing a combo of buttons. He threw the phone at the guard upon impact with the floor the bars exploded and all were set free bond waited while 002 rebutted her shirt and zipped her pants. Ethan stole the guards gun ran ahead several shots later Ethan returned with the gear and weapons for all.
4) Escape
"Anyone hurt?" asked 007 "I'm fine" Christmas replied. "A bullet grazed me back there but I think I'm all right." Replied 006. Five more guards piled in from the back but before they could aim each had a dart protruding from their necks. All three agents ran to the exit praying for no more trouble. As they left the building machine gunners started firing but it was a little late Bond and company was already speeding off back to MI6. Back at MI6 Christmas escorted Ethan to medical while 007 reported to M.
"You say you were attacked on the main road? That's insane 007" "terrorists usually are M." Bond retorted. And you say there was no power either no I tried to call but my phone was dead I ended up destroying it which R wont be to pleased about." No I suppose not." What do you suspect 007." "You are asking me. That's new." "Bond, over the years we have worked together I have learned to trust you and your instincts." 007 still looked puzzled but continued I suspect the Yanis group." 007. Now it was M's turn to be puzzled "Yanis AKA Alec Travaillion's terrorisims have stopped since he was killed 007. At this 007 was speechless. Ethan walked in wolfram drawn and put 2 bullets in M's head.
5) Betrayal?
007 punched Ethan in the stomach making him drop his weapon. Ethan rolled over to M's corpse and yelled, "wait 007 I can explain!" 006 reached his hand under M's chin and pulled. To Bond's surprise her face came off revealing a man. Ripping off a voice translator from the man's neck and placing it on himself Ethan said "See it was all a trick the whole mission was a trap this isn't M." M's voice coming from Ethan mouth was too much. "Then where is the real M?" Bond demanded. "Check this out." 006 pushed a button on his watch and a voice mail began.
TRANSMISSION BEGINS FROM MONEYPENNY:
HELP ALL AGENTS NEEDED TERRORISTS HAVE CAPTURED M. ALL AGENTS AVAILABLE ARE NEEDED TO TRACK HER DOWN. WE HAVE 72 HOURS TO PAY 500,000,000 BEFORE SHE IS KILLED. HELP US... SOMEONE! END OF TRANSMISSION.
As the voice on Ethane's watch faded 007 lost it. Totally lost it. Alec his best friend was gone Q probably his best friend was dead and M well he wasn't very fond of M, but she was going to die in 72 hours. 007 gave 006 a look of pure hatred for anyone and everyone who got in his path. Ethan stepped aside as Bond ran down a corridor and out of sight.
"R is the car ready?" 007 demanded "007 don't get all in a huff this must be done in a proper manner?" R replied "Yes the car is ready except for one missile in the front headlight isn't installed yet. "The hell with one missile!" shouted bond as he dove in the car and drove out of the garage.
7) Octopussy
There was only one person Bond knew to look to for answers now. His main source of information other then MI6 Valentine Zarcofski was also dead. 007 was headed to an island inhabited by all women no men were allowed. How the island stayed populated was beyond 007 but he found himself at the airport buying the tickets when an e-mail popped up on his watch. It read: 007 contact MI6 or you will be considered dead and you're license to kill will be revoked. 007 bought 2 additional plane tickets and went back out to his car. He reached down in a paper bag and pulled out his new satellite phone and made a call. "Moneypenny i've contacted you now send 006 and 002 my coordinates. Get them here ASAP. 007
Only moments later a helicopter was flying overhead and dropped the 2 agents in front of Bonds car how no one noticed is still a mystery. The agents piled on the plane and began the real mission saving M. On the plane 007, 006, and 002 were silent except Ethan who was humming the super Mario theme along with his gameboy. Ethan turn that thing off would you. Christmas told him. "I'm just testing a new gadget see push "A" 3 times then "B" twice and... The man in the seat ahead of them slumped in his seat... "oops" 006. "James would you umm..." certainly. Ethan fell unconscious as the dart sunk into his neck. "Thanks James now then what were you saying?" "I suspect the Yanis group even though their leader is dead. Oh this is our stop." "Excuse me James but we are still in the air." 002. "Not for long." 007 grabbed two parachutes from his carry on bag and threw one to 002 he made his way to the door of the plane and said, "After I jump wait 5 seconds then you follow." "What about Ethan?" 002 asked. He knows his job he's our contact on the mainland. And 007 jumped from the plane closely followed by Christmas Jones.
8) The island
The chutes opened and 007 fell slowly to the island where the plane would land in 20 min. After the long fall 007 landed with a thump. 007 said Ethan will be here shortly ill contact you guys when I'm on the island. 007 grabbed his bag unzipped a compartment and threw it in the water. The bag exploded into a boat which 007 entered and sped off to the island. Without looking back.
5 minutes later Ethan showed up "James should be back soon he only had to get some information." " Ethan replied you can't be serious 007 on an island of all women we wont see him for days." "Sigh, you're right, oh well." Lets camp here he said he'd try to call." Christmas. "Yeah when pigs fly." 006 smirked.
Back on the island-
"Oh James" long kiss "its been so long since you've visited me" long kiss. As 007 and another willing woman known by a tattoo she calls Octopussy made their way over to the bed. "I need some information about a terrorist who's infiltrating MI6" Bond said. "OOOH, No one knows his real name but people know him as... she leaned her head close to his and whispered "Gold-finger" 007's eyes went wide but remained calm. "Where is he, oh I'm not sure even his colleges know that but he shows up on the island a few times a week and bribes some of us women. But don't worry Jamey I wouldn't sleep with him for anything he's old.
007 smiled. IM so comforted to know that. Give me a call next time he comes back will you?" Anything for you James, As long as you promise to come back soon." "I'll try." 007 said. The next morning 007 found he lying next to a different woman. As he remembered the events of the night before he recalled being with many, many women last night but time to work giving the girl (whoever she was) a last kiss he ran through the door in search of Gold-finger.
9) The chase
007 drove back to the mainland and regrouped with his team. "Get what you wanted James." "Yes and more." 007 smiled. 007 got in the car and Ethan got in the passenger seat. 002 got in the back. The phone rang. 007 picked it up. Jamesey its me I err we had a great time last night but Goldfingers here now one of the girls said he's headed to Iran to pick up arms for his next job. Thanks Bond replied. "Buckle up." 007 shouted as he kicked the BMW into overdrive. They were in Iran before they knew it mainly because halfway through the trip. 006 took the wheel and 007 joined Christmas in the back seat. The car pulled to a stop at The MI6 building in Iran. As they entered 5 guards pointed automatic weapons at them demanding ID. 007 showed his ID and the guards apologized. "My God you're James Bond." "You know him?" Ethan asked. I don't believe there is a man or woman in our organization who does not. Let me say Mr. Bond this is an honor. He was allowed in and escorted to K's office "ahh mister Bond so M was kidnapped eh." K was a tall older man with a very well groomed mustache and a thinning hairline." "Yes..." 007. "Would you care for a drink?" The man looked strikingly like Q except for the mustache. "Please" 007 replied eagerly. I'll have a vodka martini, shaken not stirred." "Ahh a man after my own heart that's my favorite drink. 007 smiled that was Q's favorite drink too in fact he turned him on to them. 007 drank his drink then asked "I know where to find M I just don't know where she is perhaps you can help me?" "If I can 007." Replied K Where is Gold-finger?" asked Christmas "Goldfinger hehe unbeknown to him we have been tracking him for some time right now hes in... His "secret hideout about 10 miles from here." "Can you give me location?" Christmas asked. "Sure take this. K gave 007 a small mini disk, which he placed in his watch a small light starting flashing to the east. "Thanks you've been a lot of help." Ethan said on his way out. Christmas drove so Bond could tell her where to go. AS they come near a car pulled out with 2 thugs in it opened fire on the BMW. "Speed up" 007 shouted
As they neared the car Christmas pushed a button on the dash and the road came up on a screen so she could take cover. 007 shot the 2 thugs and jumped back in his own car. As the red light stopped flashing they knew he had found it. It was nothing but an old shack that not even the most desperate of gangs would use as a hideout guns drawn the party kicked open the door which didn't open but instead fell to pieces around them. They entered and shielded their eyes from the bright light coming from inside. A figure only 007 knew stood there. Except this time there was 3 of him.
10) oddjobs?
There he was standing up against three tall fat men in suits just like his own stood there The men removed their bowler hats and began to take careful aim. "They can't be serious who throws a hat?" Ethan asked 007 replied. "The brim is a deadly blade and their good shots don't let them hit you!" 007 shouted. "Ok then Christmas replied. BANG, BANG, BANG the three men dropped dead. Hell anyone would with a bullet from a raptor magnum in their head. In the next room there were 2 scientists and the mastermind Goldfinger. "Ethan shot the scientists with a dart each and demanded of goldfinger Where is M. The old man replied ahh I don't know you but I know that other man, 007 how have you been." "Cut the Bullshit goldfinger answer the question where's M. I don't know I'm only the underling working for the master Yanis. "Yanis... is alive!?" 007 asked Yes even after you dropped him from the dish he lived somehow. Then I don't need you then do I?" 007 shot him. And he dropped to the ground and a door opened all three of them leveled their weapons at the man in the wheelchair." James so we meet again. Damn that's so cliché but oh well it's the truth." 007 asked his old friend Alec T. again, where is M. "What makes you think ill tell you. All three agents leveled their guns at Alec. "Automatic weapons often change ones mind." 007 said getting impatient. Alec touched the arm of his wheelchair and the end of the arm opened revealing a gun barrel. Alec spun his wheelchair toward Christmas. Bond smiled "shoot her she means nothing to me." 007 replied Christmas knew this bluff and could not help but smile. "Ha that worked with that other girl but not now." Bond reached up his sleeve and slyly activated the magnet in his watch. Keep those hands where I can see them James!" Alec shouted. Bond put his hands on his head then quickly shot his arm out to his left making the chain turn and as 006 fired his wheel-chair-gun. Ethan Shot a dart into Alec's back making him arch right before he slumped over. 007 took out his cell phone and flipped up the switch revealing a keypad decrypter he placed on the panel which Ethan was standing in front of and the door slid open 007 screwed the silencer on his Wolfram and shot the guards. Ethan fumbled with a lockpick on a cell door. "Bond?" shouted M's voice from inside the cell. 007 shot the lock off and ran 2 M.
Getting Home
It was snowing when they arrived at MI6 and it was almost Christmas day. 007 ran through the room shooting every guard he could find. Alec was coming to so 007 leveled his wolfram at his head. "No I can't possibly let you cause more trouble. Christmas... could you take care of him." 007 watched as 003 emptied a clip from her soviet AK into Alec's head. They ran back outside. And 006 jumped into the driver's seat and M rode shotgun. "Bond where are the keys?"
006 asked. "Don't need them" 007 said opening his cell phone and touching the pad starting up the car as 007 ran his finger across the pad the car began to move. "I didn't know you were a back-seat driver 007." "Don't even think about developing his sense of humor Mr. Hunt" M said and smiled. "Here you drive tossing Ethan the remote." Perhaps it wasn't a good idea for James to ride in the back with 003." M said. Back at MI6 HQ James was busy with a mission of his own. Back in James' room... "James its Christmas Eve. "But I think I should unwrap this present now..." as he fell onto the bed with 003. "James how do you explain me and your other girls to Moneypenny?" "She doesn't mind I don't think because I'm sure she knows about us. But if I ever had to explain that would be an impossible mission
THE END
James Bond will return...
Just FYI the next Bond movie is coming out August 23rd 2002. I'm so excited.
Note: this story is not in any way shape or form based on anything that I know of that is true if this is in anyway true it is an unlikely coincidence so don't even think about getting me in trouble :)
Also this is my first fic. And if it stinks let me know and ill work on it ok... here we go!
Another note: This story picks up where TWINE left off (the world is not enough) Also can anyone give me "R's" real code name because I know that's not it but I don't know it so that's what I'm using.
1 The name's Bond, James bond
Sophisticated secret agent James Bond had just gotten back to MI6 HQ via 009's car seeing as his was destroyed. Bond was still sweating from saving the world from terrorists...again. "Ahh James have u brought me back something from your trip?" moneypenny asked. 007 smiled that smile only he can do and said I left it in my car..." Bond left the office and headed down the maze of corridors towards Q division
As he got to the doors he mourned for a moment at the loss of his great friend Q who had retired before his last mission began and sadly died short after. Bond was recalling some of the nicer times with Q when he was snapped out of his daydream by Q's replacement R. R really did not take a liking to Bond from the start but oh well. "007 cant u bring back anything in pristine order?" Bond smiled inside and thought at least part of Q is still here. Bond responded to R's comment by saying my watch is fine isn't it?" R looked at 007 untrusting and said hmmm I suppose." Anyway I suppose you need more gadgets well here they are and please bring at least some back in new order. Bond was handed a large brown bag full of the usual stuff a new wolfram P2k with silencer, more watch darts, 9.6 mm ammo film for his camera, and other things 00 agents need. 007 sat down the bag on a counter as he was escorted to yet another new car. R gulped as he led the way to it. "Here it is she has everything missiles behind the headlights, machine gun behind each rear view mirror titanium armor so you can't mess it up so easy. Rotating license plates for each state and 3 for other countries. And let me tell you again you have a license to kill not, "to break traffic laws 007 interrupted. You know how all of these weapons are activated this is the same car you had before except with extra cup holders and more speakers. R walked away annoyed. 007 left and headed back to M's office picking up his gadgets on his way out. There was already an agent there. "007 so glad you could join us this is your assistant for this mission." M said, "I always have worked alone before." Bond replied calmly M's eyes narrowed only during the missions 007 afterwards your always...partnered with someone." The other agent smiled a little.
"Point taken." 007 replied so who is this new agent I've never seen him before. M introduced this stranger "James Bond meet Ethan Hunt."
2) Mission impossible meets MI6
"Ethan Hunt?" Bond as puzzled not understanding isn't he from..." "Yes, I am" Ethan answered for 007 "Ethan was let go after his last mission with his old force for failing one of his 3 objectives." As if he could read 007's mind Ethan I did not fail! I did not bring back a living sample of the chimera on purpose it was insane to ask for a sample!" M eased the tension a little. Bond please give Mr. Hunt or should I say 006's gadgets motioning to the paper bag. James opened it up and for the first time realized that there were 2 of everything. Bond could not take this. M with all due respect y did you make him 006, 006 was...was...." Bond couldn't finish his statement something was really wrong with him lately the deaths of friends were really getting to him and it bothered him. Bond stood there recalling the moment when he dropped his closest friend from the dish in Cuba there wasn't a day that went by where he didn't wish he hadn't killed him. "Alec Travailion, I know 007" M finished. Ethan saw that this bothered 007 so he spoke up "M if this number is a problem it can always be changed. Bond replied "No, No its fine..." so what's the mission then Ethan asked as Bond handed Ethan his equipment. M sitting down at her desk sighed and said "007, 006 there have been rumors spreading throughout MI6 that there is a traitor among us. According to the rumor he has been with us for a long time that's why some of the head terrorists and their cohorts have been pulling off little operations. You r mission is to find this traitor and dispose of him or her whoever they may be I don't care if its Moneypenny James do you understand I want this traitor dead. Ethan and Bond left the office and continued down another corridor leading to a black unmarked door. Bond opened it and saw a funny short little man. Upon seeing the two agents he looked up from his work and pulled a gun.
3) License to kill
Ethan looked a little worried but Bond had been in tougher spots. He smiled as the man pulled the trigger. Ethan dove for cover behind a computer desk and in one swift move pulled his wolfram at leveled it at the man drop it now! Ethan yelled 007 and the funny bald man were laughing only now did 006 realize tat protruding from the gun was a stick and attached to that was a flag that read BANG! Ethan rolled his eyes and put his wolfram away. You would both be fired if this was..." 006 started. 007 interrupted "but its not you work for MI6 now." Bond said still laughing a little the funny man would not introduce himself but gave 006 2 cards one was a swipe card to gain access to any place his clearance allowed the other was a license a license to kill. Ethan picked both up and put them in his wallet. After that little scene 006 followed Bond back to Q labs. Their Ethan was shown how to use his gadgets and was issued a watch complete with stunner, Lazer, 12 darts, and of course a grapple. R handed both agents a plane ticket and they hopped in their BMW and began to leave. Right outside the building a woman stopped them. "Hey boys u wanna take me with you in a very flirty way. Bond recognized the woman as Christmas Jones the newest member of MI6 apart from Ethan. 003 (Christmas) hopped in the car and straddled 007 giving him a quick kiss on his cheek. Bond said to 006 You're in her seat, Move!" 006 moved to the back. "But, James I'm comfortable here" she said kissing him again. 003 reluctantly moved over but not before kissing him again. "Nice to see you also 002" bond said. "OH great we have a woman on our team to. Before anyone knew the Lazer sight of a raptor magnum was leveled at Ethan's crotch. Is there a problem with that." 007 seeing what was going to happen said Now, 002 what would R say if you got blood all over the back seat of this new car I haven't even put a scratch in it yet. 002 put her raptor away. But warned 006 not to ever make another sexist comment like that again 006 was the first to realize there was no one on the street except them. "Hey why is there no power or traffic 002 ask was there a blackout?" A plane zoomed low overhead dropping something that could not be seen from that height bond wasn't really worried about it. 007 pushed a button on the dash and a sniper rifle scope zoomed in on the small box now known to be a bomb. Bond fired 3 shots at it and it exploded problem solved. Now they had to worry about the people coming from the building to the left there had 2 be 50 all with automatic weapons drop your weapons Bond dropped his weapon on the ground and the other 2 agents followed. "The watches the mask man said all three slowly removed their watches and dropped them outside the car. "Now get out NOW!" the masked man yelled with a deep Russian accent. They got out with their hands on their heads Bond and Ethan were searched for weapons quickly, but the guard searching Christmas was very through. "Watch your hand mister" she yelled trying to attack this pervert "I am the man replied. Continuing to feel her up. Now the man had gone to far he reached his hand p her shirt and removed was trying to remove her bra. 002 elbowed him in the face but a dart to her neck quickly ended her attack 006 and 007 were escorted 2 a room inside the building and Christmas was just coming around they were all in a cell underground. All their gear was locked up above ground it was hopeless. Not quite bond wrapped his arms around Christmas and said 002 I know this is it we have no escape this time I don't want to die a virgin do you?" "But James we aren't..." Bond stopped her by kissing her and unbuttoning her shirt after the kiss bond whispered in her ear play along, get my satellite phone from my pocket. Christmas reached in his side pocket and found the cell phone. The guard was fully interested in seeing 002 with her shirt off completely oblivious to the fact that she had given the phone to 007 who was pushing a combo of buttons. He threw the phone at the guard upon impact with the floor the bars exploded and all were set free bond waited while 002 rebutted her shirt and zipped her pants. Ethan stole the guards gun ran ahead several shots later Ethan returned with the gear and weapons for all.
4) Escape
"Anyone hurt?" asked 007 "I'm fine" Christmas replied. "A bullet grazed me back there but I think I'm all right." Replied 006. Five more guards piled in from the back but before they could aim each had a dart protruding from their necks. All three agents ran to the exit praying for no more trouble. As they left the building machine gunners started firing but it was a little late Bond and company was already speeding off back to MI6. Back at MI6 Christmas escorted Ethan to medical while 007 reported to M.
"You say you were attacked on the main road? That's insane 007" "terrorists usually are M." Bond retorted. And you say there was no power either no I tried to call but my phone was dead I ended up destroying it which R wont be to pleased about." No I suppose not." What do you suspect 007." "You are asking me. That's new." "Bond, over the years we have worked together I have learned to trust you and your instincts." 007 still looked puzzled but continued I suspect the Yanis group." 007. Now it was M's turn to be puzzled "Yanis AKA Alec Travaillion's terrorisims have stopped since he was killed 007. At this 007 was speechless. Ethan walked in wolfram drawn and put 2 bullets in M's head.
5) Betrayal?
007 punched Ethan in the stomach making him drop his weapon. Ethan rolled over to M's corpse and yelled, "wait 007 I can explain!" 006 reached his hand under M's chin and pulled. To Bond's surprise her face came off revealing a man. Ripping off a voice translator from the man's neck and placing it on himself Ethan said "See it was all a trick the whole mission was a trap this isn't M." M's voice coming from Ethan mouth was too much. "Then where is the real M?" Bond demanded. "Check this out." 006 pushed a button on his watch and a voice mail began.
TRANSMISSION BEGINS FROM MONEYPENNY:
HELP ALL AGENTS NEEDED TERRORISTS HAVE CAPTURED M. ALL AGENTS AVAILABLE ARE NEEDED TO TRACK HER DOWN. WE HAVE 72 HOURS TO PAY 500,000,000 BEFORE SHE IS KILLED. HELP US... SOMEONE! END OF TRANSMISSION.
As the voice on Ethane's watch faded 007 lost it. Totally lost it. Alec his best friend was gone Q probably his best friend was dead and M well he wasn't very fond of M, but she was going to die in 72 hours. 007 gave 006 a look of pure hatred for anyone and everyone who got in his path. Ethan stepped aside as Bond ran down a corridor and out of sight.
"R is the car ready?" 007 demanded "007 don't get all in a huff this must be done in a proper manner?" R replied "Yes the car is ready except for one missile in the front headlight isn't installed yet. "The hell with one missile!" shouted bond as he dove in the car and drove out of the garage.
7) Octopussy
There was only one person Bond knew to look to for answers now. His main source of information other then MI6 Valentine Zarcofski was also dead. 007 was headed to an island inhabited by all women no men were allowed. How the island stayed populated was beyond 007 but he found himself at the airport buying the tickets when an e-mail popped up on his watch. It read: 007 contact MI6 or you will be considered dead and you're license to kill will be revoked. 007 bought 2 additional plane tickets and went back out to his car. He reached down in a paper bag and pulled out his new satellite phone and made a call. "Moneypenny i've contacted you now send 006 and 002 my coordinates. Get them here ASAP. 007
Only moments later a helicopter was flying overhead and dropped the 2 agents in front of Bonds car how no one noticed is still a mystery. The agents piled on the plane and began the real mission saving M. On the plane 007, 006, and 002 were silent except Ethan who was humming the super Mario theme along with his gameboy. Ethan turn that thing off would you. Christmas told him. "I'm just testing a new gadget see push "A" 3 times then "B" twice and... The man in the seat ahead of them slumped in his seat... "oops" 006. "James would you umm..." certainly. Ethan fell unconscious as the dart sunk into his neck. "Thanks James now then what were you saying?" "I suspect the Yanis group even though their leader is dead. Oh this is our stop." "Excuse me James but we are still in the air." 002. "Not for long." 007 grabbed two parachutes from his carry on bag and threw one to 002 he made his way to the door of the plane and said, "After I jump wait 5 seconds then you follow." "What about Ethan?" 002 asked. He knows his job he's our contact on the mainland. And 007 jumped from the plane closely followed by Christmas Jones.
8) The island
The chutes opened and 007 fell slowly to the island where the plane would land in 20 min. After the long fall 007 landed with a thump. 007 said Ethan will be here shortly ill contact you guys when I'm on the island. 007 grabbed his bag unzipped a compartment and threw it in the water. The bag exploded into a boat which 007 entered and sped off to the island. Without looking back.
5 minutes later Ethan showed up "James should be back soon he only had to get some information." " Ethan replied you can't be serious 007 on an island of all women we wont see him for days." "Sigh, you're right, oh well." Lets camp here he said he'd try to call." Christmas. "Yeah when pigs fly." 006 smirked.
Back on the island-
"Oh James" long kiss "its been so long since you've visited me" long kiss. As 007 and another willing woman known by a tattoo she calls Octopussy made their way over to the bed. "I need some information about a terrorist who's infiltrating MI6" Bond said. "OOOH, No one knows his real name but people know him as... she leaned her head close to his and whispered "Gold-finger" 007's eyes went wide but remained calm. "Where is he, oh I'm not sure even his colleges know that but he shows up on the island a few times a week and bribes some of us women. But don't worry Jamey I wouldn't sleep with him for anything he's old.
007 smiled. IM so comforted to know that. Give me a call next time he comes back will you?" Anything for you James, As long as you promise to come back soon." "I'll try." 007 said. The next morning 007 found he lying next to a different woman. As he remembered the events of the night before he recalled being with many, many women last night but time to work giving the girl (whoever she was) a last kiss he ran through the door in search of Gold-finger.
9) The chase
007 drove back to the mainland and regrouped with his team. "Get what you wanted James." "Yes and more." 007 smiled. 007 got in the car and Ethan got in the passenger seat. 002 got in the back. The phone rang. 007 picked it up. Jamesey its me I err we had a great time last night but Goldfingers here now one of the girls said he's headed to Iran to pick up arms for his next job. Thanks Bond replied. "Buckle up." 007 shouted as he kicked the BMW into overdrive. They were in Iran before they knew it mainly because halfway through the trip. 006 took the wheel and 007 joined Christmas in the back seat. The car pulled to a stop at The MI6 building in Iran. As they entered 5 guards pointed automatic weapons at them demanding ID. 007 showed his ID and the guards apologized. "My God you're James Bond." "You know him?" Ethan asked. I don't believe there is a man or woman in our organization who does not. Let me say Mr. Bond this is an honor. He was allowed in and escorted to K's office "ahh mister Bond so M was kidnapped eh." K was a tall older man with a very well groomed mustache and a thinning hairline." "Yes..." 007. "Would you care for a drink?" The man looked strikingly like Q except for the mustache. "Please" 007 replied eagerly. I'll have a vodka martini, shaken not stirred." "Ahh a man after my own heart that's my favorite drink. 007 smiled that was Q's favorite drink too in fact he turned him on to them. 007 drank his drink then asked "I know where to find M I just don't know where she is perhaps you can help me?" "If I can 007." Replied K Where is Gold-finger?" asked Christmas "Goldfinger hehe unbeknown to him we have been tracking him for some time right now hes in... His "secret hideout about 10 miles from here." "Can you give me location?" Christmas asked. "Sure take this. K gave 007 a small mini disk, which he placed in his watch a small light starting flashing to the east. "Thanks you've been a lot of help." Ethan said on his way out. Christmas drove so Bond could tell her where to go. AS they come near a car pulled out with 2 thugs in it opened fire on the BMW. "Speed up" 007 shouted
As they neared the car Christmas pushed a button on the dash and the road came up on a screen so she could take cover. 007 shot the 2 thugs and jumped back in his own car. As the red light stopped flashing they knew he had found it. It was nothing but an old shack that not even the most desperate of gangs would use as a hideout guns drawn the party kicked open the door which didn't open but instead fell to pieces around them. They entered and shielded their eyes from the bright light coming from inside. A figure only 007 knew stood there. Except this time there was 3 of him.
10) oddjobs?
There he was standing up against three tall fat men in suits just like his own stood there The men removed their bowler hats and began to take careful aim. "They can't be serious who throws a hat?" Ethan asked 007 replied. "The brim is a deadly blade and their good shots don't let them hit you!" 007 shouted. "Ok then Christmas replied. BANG, BANG, BANG the three men dropped dead. Hell anyone would with a bullet from a raptor magnum in their head. In the next room there were 2 scientists and the mastermind Goldfinger. "Ethan shot the scientists with a dart each and demanded of goldfinger Where is M. The old man replied ahh I don't know you but I know that other man, 007 how have you been." "Cut the Bullshit goldfinger answer the question where's M. I don't know I'm only the underling working for the master Yanis. "Yanis... is alive!?" 007 asked Yes even after you dropped him from the dish he lived somehow. Then I don't need you then do I?" 007 shot him. And he dropped to the ground and a door opened all three of them leveled their weapons at the man in the wheelchair." James so we meet again. Damn that's so cliché but oh well it's the truth." 007 asked his old friend Alec T. again, where is M. "What makes you think ill tell you. All three agents leveled their guns at Alec. "Automatic weapons often change ones mind." 007 said getting impatient. Alec touched the arm of his wheelchair and the end of the arm opened revealing a gun barrel. Alec spun his wheelchair toward Christmas. Bond smiled "shoot her she means nothing to me." 007 replied Christmas knew this bluff and could not help but smile. "Ha that worked with that other girl but not now." Bond reached up his sleeve and slyly activated the magnet in his watch. Keep those hands where I can see them James!" Alec shouted. Bond put his hands on his head then quickly shot his arm out to his left making the chain turn and as 006 fired his wheel-chair-gun. Ethan Shot a dart into Alec's back making him arch right before he slumped over. 007 took out his cell phone and flipped up the switch revealing a keypad decrypter he placed on the panel which Ethan was standing in front of and the door slid open 007 screwed the silencer on his Wolfram and shot the guards. Ethan fumbled with a lockpick on a cell door. "Bond?" shouted M's voice from inside the cell. 007 shot the lock off and ran 2 M.
Getting Home
It was snowing when they arrived at MI6 and it was almost Christmas day. 007 ran through the room shooting every guard he could find. Alec was coming to so 007 leveled his wolfram at his head. "No I can't possibly let you cause more trouble. Christmas... could you take care of him." 007 watched as 003 emptied a clip from her soviet AK into Alec's head. They ran back outside. And 006 jumped into the driver's seat and M rode shotgun. "Bond where are the keys?"
006 asked. "Don't need them" 007 said opening his cell phone and touching the pad starting up the car as 007 ran his finger across the pad the car began to move. "I didn't know you were a back-seat driver 007." "Don't even think about developing his sense of humor Mr. Hunt" M said and smiled. "Here you drive tossing Ethan the remote." Perhaps it wasn't a good idea for James to ride in the back with 003." M said. Back at MI6 HQ James was busy with a mission of his own. Back in James' room... "James its Christmas Eve. "But I think I should unwrap this present now..." as he fell onto the bed with 003. "James how do you explain me and your other girls to Moneypenny?" "She doesn't mind I don't think because I'm sure she knows about us. But if I ever had to explain that would be an impossible mission
THE END
James Bond will return...
Just FYI the next Bond movie is coming out August 23rd 2002. I'm so excited.