Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I don't own it. (Probably nobody got that, but whatever)

Steph: Once again, the idea for this one came at midnight, although it was written at 4:30 in the afternoon. Once again, Kate came up with the coupling. That being Nagini (for you dimwits out there, Voldemort's snake) x The Giant Squid. This will be a two-part fic, with a similar thing from Nagini to the squid. Anyway, enjoy!

Attractive As An Anaconda

Sweet Nagini,

You are

as attractive as an anaconda

as beautiful as a boomslang

as charming as a cottonmouth

as dazzling as a death adder

as elegant as an eyelash viper

as fantastic as a flowerpot snake

as gorgeous as a green tree boa

as heavenly as a hog-nosed viper

as impressive as an Indian python

as jubilant as a Javelin sand boa

as kaleidoscopic as a king cobra

as lovely as a long-nosed whip snake

as magnificent as a Malaysian blood python

as novel as a nose-horned viper

as original as a Oenpellis python

as perfect as a puff adder

as quaint as a queen snake

as radiant as a rainbow boa

as superb as a sunbeam snake

as talented as a tentacled snake

as unique as a urutu

as vibrant as a vine snake

as wonderful as a worm snake

as Xerxes-like as an X-mas Island blind snake

as youthful as a yellow-bellied sea snake

as zestful as a zodiac snake

and I love you for it.

Lots of love,

The Giant Squid

HA! The only thing in there which wasn't a snake was zodiac snake. You try finding a snake species beginning with z. Oh, and the X-mas Island blind snake is actually the Christmas Island blind snake. Once again, you try finding a snake species beginning with x.

As usual, review if you want, not if you don't. All I ask is that you read the rest of the YouCan'tBeSerious teams fics, especially the fic that started it all, Oven May Be Hot (Dobby x Quirrel pairing, written by Kate). BUT if you want this to be updated, 10 reviews would be nice. Ta-ta!