MOUTHFUL
by CrazyFic
crazyfic@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and its characters were created by Rumiko Takahashi (goddess of anime). Any other disclaimer used in other fics apply to this one.
If by the end of this fic you feel that you have to bow down before me, I have done my job. If by the end of this fic you feel that you have to mallet me into a bloody pulp, I have done my job. If by the end of this fic you feel that I am so great that you must send me money just so I could hurry up with my writing, send me an e-mail.... oh yeah, and I have done my job.
C&C and MST definitely welcome
*****
Akane, the fiancee with the cute smile, was (for the first time in a long while) feeling great. Or at least better than she had been for some time.
It had been two weeks since that wedding. The nerve of that BAKA!!! Actually marrying Ukyo Kuonji! After all they been through, all the times they were together and everything she did for him, the baka turns and marries the 'cute fiancee'.
When he made the announcement, his reason was that she acted too violent towards him. Even after sending him to the hospital after he made that announcement, Akane wanted to do much more to him.
But then her father and Mr. Saotome gave her an alternative.
A wishing mirror. It would give the user one wish which would have to directly affect him/her. One wish is all she would need.
During the wedding, everyone was surprised at how quiet and pleasant she appeared (she made an exception when Kuno tried to console her).
Fools, she thought. I'll show them all. Especially the two who betrayed me. The chef will wish she never met Ranma after I'm through with her. And after I marry Ranma, I'll teach him for turning his back on the 'true fiancee'. Let those two enjoy their honeymoon while they can. Akane's mouth cracked an evil-looking smile.
Now, after two weeks of following the instructions on the map her father and Mr. Saotome had given her, she had the wishing mirror in her hand. All that remains is to think of what to wish for.
What a bad time to start thinking everything 'awful' Ranma did to her, and stuff not to do with what she initially wanted.
"I can finally have Ranma for my own and get rid of that chef! All those times he insulted my cooking...I want him to acknowledge food associated with me as being good. That he would never call me uncute. That ..." Her thoughts started to get, um..well.... "...he would taste me, have his tongue licking me all over, and that he would feel me." Her thoughts started to get emotional. "And that he would stop saying all the stuff he said about my body. Especially calling me CHICKEN THIGHS!!!!!!"
In a fit of rage, Akane finalized her wish.
"Wishing mirror, I wish for all I said to happen."
*Granted*
Suddenly everything started to get dark for Akane.
*****
The Next Day At Ucchan's
"Ranchan, we got a package from Akane!"
"Hey, I haven't seen her for a while. What is it?"
After opening the package, Ukyo looked a little surprised. "Umm...it seems to be roast chicken."
Ranma was terrified. "You don't think she's trying to poison us for marrying, do you?"
Meanwhile, Akane was starting to get out of her unconscious state. {What happened after I made that wish?} She looked up and noticed Ranma. {The wish came true! I'm actually married to Ranma! We must be getting ready for bed.}
"Come on, Ranchan! I know that you don't actually believe that. And her cooking has gotten better, lately."
"You're right, Ucchan." *Sigh* Ranma started to think of Akane. "I wonder where she is. I mean, I really thought she was cute, even when she wasn't smiling."
{HE DOES THINK I'M CUTE!} Akane started to feel happy, until she begins to realize that Ukyo was also in the room. {RANMA! What is that bimbo chef doing here?!}
"Aw, Ranchan does this mean that you're having regrets marrying me?" Ukyo said, teasing Ranma.
A big sweat-drop started to form on the back of Ranma's head. "Of course not! You'll always be my cute wife."
{RAAANNNNMMMAAAAAA!!!! HOW DARE YOU?! AND STOP AVOIDING WHAT I SAY!} Akane then realized something. She could see everything all around her without moving. This includes what she was on top of. {Ummmm.... what's going on?}
"Here, I got the knife. Let's eat this chicken. And don't back out, Ranchan."
Akane notices Ukyo with a knife. {What are you doi..} Suddenly she felt a sharp sensation. {Ow! What was that?}
Ukyo took a bite of the chicken. "This tastes great! Try some." She gave a piece to Ranma. "Maybe I should save some for later, to make chicken okonomiyaki."
Ranma was stunned. "It's absolutely delicious! Akane is definitely getting better at cooking."
{Ranma, you actually mean that? You actually like my cooking!!! .... Wait a minute; I haven't roasted chicken in a while. And why are you still ignoring me? At least give me some of the chicken!}
"Here, I'll cut another piece."
This time Akane noticed the knife cutting into her, and then a fork going down to pick up what seems to be a piece of chicken. At that point all forms of logic in Akane's mind shuts down. {Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um ......} And Akane's stuttering went on for a while.
Meanwhile, Ranma noticed what he was holding, and became curious. "Hey Ucchan, what part is this?"
"Oh that? That's the chicken's thigh."
"Oh. Okay." A while later Ranma came to a realization. "You know, after all this time, I probably was wrong to call Akane 'Chicken thighs'."
When she heard that, Akane sighed. {At least I could hear that before I'm gone.}
Ranma, though, wasn't done talking. "Yeah, her thighs are much bigger. I mean, those things are HUGE!"
For a moment, Ranma was startled, when he thought he could hear a voice.
{RANMA NO BAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!}
Thinking that it was just his imagination, Ranma shrugged his shoulders and took another mouthful of chicken.
Good food
Good meat
Good God, lets eat!
THE END
*****
Notes:
If I see another commercial for "Chicken Run" I'm going to crack.
Oh yeah, another thing. If you're an Akane fan such that you kiss the ground she walks on, feels that she should always get Ranma and have a happy life, or to the extent that you have dreams of being in bed with her.... you probably shouldn't have read this far. Then again some of you probably would have wanted to be the one who received that package.
Special thanks goes to Douglas MacDougall for taking the time to read the fic and then to give ideas on how the fic could be improved. Also thanks goes to everyone else who read the fic and e-mailed their comments on it.
Btw, anything inside {} are thoughts of the roast chicken.
~Dedicated to those who feel that Akane's love for Ranma is so strong
that it could be tasted~
~Dedicated to KFC. They do chicken right~
------------------------------------------
Boy: Grandfather, what do you think of CrazyFic?
Gramps: Extreme. I just wish he lit his head on fire.
by CrazyFic
crazyfic@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 and its characters were created by Rumiko Takahashi (goddess of anime). Any other disclaimer used in other fics apply to this one.
If by the end of this fic you feel that you have to bow down before me, I have done my job. If by the end of this fic you feel that you have to mallet me into a bloody pulp, I have done my job. If by the end of this fic you feel that I am so great that you must send me money just so I could hurry up with my writing, send me an e-mail.... oh yeah, and I have done my job.
C&C and MST definitely welcome
*****
Akane, the fiancee with the cute smile, was (for the first time in a long while) feeling great. Or at least better than she had been for some time.
It had been two weeks since that wedding. The nerve of that BAKA!!! Actually marrying Ukyo Kuonji! After all they been through, all the times they were together and everything she did for him, the baka turns and marries the 'cute fiancee'.
When he made the announcement, his reason was that she acted too violent towards him. Even after sending him to the hospital after he made that announcement, Akane wanted to do much more to him.
But then her father and Mr. Saotome gave her an alternative.
A wishing mirror. It would give the user one wish which would have to directly affect him/her. One wish is all she would need.
During the wedding, everyone was surprised at how quiet and pleasant she appeared (she made an exception when Kuno tried to console her).
Fools, she thought. I'll show them all. Especially the two who betrayed me. The chef will wish she never met Ranma after I'm through with her. And after I marry Ranma, I'll teach him for turning his back on the 'true fiancee'. Let those two enjoy their honeymoon while they can. Akane's mouth cracked an evil-looking smile.
Now, after two weeks of following the instructions on the map her father and Mr. Saotome had given her, she had the wishing mirror in her hand. All that remains is to think of what to wish for.
What a bad time to start thinking everything 'awful' Ranma did to her, and stuff not to do with what she initially wanted.
"I can finally have Ranma for my own and get rid of that chef! All those times he insulted my cooking...I want him to acknowledge food associated with me as being good. That he would never call me uncute. That ..." Her thoughts started to get, um..well.... "...he would taste me, have his tongue licking me all over, and that he would feel me." Her thoughts started to get emotional. "And that he would stop saying all the stuff he said about my body. Especially calling me CHICKEN THIGHS!!!!!!"
In a fit of rage, Akane finalized her wish.
"Wishing mirror, I wish for all I said to happen."
*Granted*
Suddenly everything started to get dark for Akane.
*****
The Next Day At Ucchan's
"Ranchan, we got a package from Akane!"
"Hey, I haven't seen her for a while. What is it?"
After opening the package, Ukyo looked a little surprised. "Umm...it seems to be roast chicken."
Ranma was terrified. "You don't think she's trying to poison us for marrying, do you?"
Meanwhile, Akane was starting to get out of her unconscious state. {What happened after I made that wish?} She looked up and noticed Ranma. {The wish came true! I'm actually married to Ranma! We must be getting ready for bed.}
"Come on, Ranchan! I know that you don't actually believe that. And her cooking has gotten better, lately."
"You're right, Ucchan." *Sigh* Ranma started to think of Akane. "I wonder where she is. I mean, I really thought she was cute, even when she wasn't smiling."
{HE DOES THINK I'M CUTE!} Akane started to feel happy, until she begins to realize that Ukyo was also in the room. {RANMA! What is that bimbo chef doing here?!}
"Aw, Ranchan does this mean that you're having regrets marrying me?" Ukyo said, teasing Ranma.
A big sweat-drop started to form on the back of Ranma's head. "Of course not! You'll always be my cute wife."
{RAAANNNNMMMAAAAAA!!!! HOW DARE YOU?! AND STOP AVOIDING WHAT I SAY!} Akane then realized something. She could see everything all around her without moving. This includes what she was on top of. {Ummmm.... what's going on?}
"Here, I got the knife. Let's eat this chicken. And don't back out, Ranchan."
Akane notices Ukyo with a knife. {What are you doi..} Suddenly she felt a sharp sensation. {Ow! What was that?}
Ukyo took a bite of the chicken. "This tastes great! Try some." She gave a piece to Ranma. "Maybe I should save some for later, to make chicken okonomiyaki."
Ranma was stunned. "It's absolutely delicious! Akane is definitely getting better at cooking."
{Ranma, you actually mean that? You actually like my cooking!!! .... Wait a minute; I haven't roasted chicken in a while. And why are you still ignoring me? At least give me some of the chicken!}
"Here, I'll cut another piece."
This time Akane noticed the knife cutting into her, and then a fork going down to pick up what seems to be a piece of chicken. At that point all forms of logic in Akane's mind shuts down. {Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um Um ......} And Akane's stuttering went on for a while.
Meanwhile, Ranma noticed what he was holding, and became curious. "Hey Ucchan, what part is this?"
"Oh that? That's the chicken's thigh."
"Oh. Okay." A while later Ranma came to a realization. "You know, after all this time, I probably was wrong to call Akane 'Chicken thighs'."
When she heard that, Akane sighed. {At least I could hear that before I'm gone.}
Ranma, though, wasn't done talking. "Yeah, her thighs are much bigger. I mean, those things are HUGE!"
For a moment, Ranma was startled, when he thought he could hear a voice.
{RANMA NO BAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!}
Thinking that it was just his imagination, Ranma shrugged his shoulders and took another mouthful of chicken.
Good food
Good meat
Good God, lets eat!
THE END
*****
Notes:
If I see another commercial for "Chicken Run" I'm going to crack.
Oh yeah, another thing. If you're an Akane fan such that you kiss the ground she walks on, feels that she should always get Ranma and have a happy life, or to the extent that you have dreams of being in bed with her.... you probably shouldn't have read this far. Then again some of you probably would have wanted to be the one who received that package.
Special thanks goes to Douglas MacDougall for taking the time to read the fic and then to give ideas on how the fic could be improved. Also thanks goes to everyone else who read the fic and e-mailed their comments on it.
Btw, anything inside {} are thoughts of the roast chicken.
~Dedicated to those who feel that Akane's love for Ranma is so strong
that it could be tasted~
~Dedicated to KFC. They do chicken right~
------------------------------------------
Boy: Grandfather, what do you think of CrazyFic?
Gramps: Extreme. I just wish he lit his head on fire.