Prologue

Kirk pulled at the leather straps that held him. Exhausted from the effort he then tried to focus his eyes on his surroundings. He appeared to be lying on a stone slab in some sort of hospital. Screaming with frustration, he reassured himself that he was James T. Kirk-captain of the star-ship Enterprise. It was then that the most unbearable pain he had ever known exploded through his body.

Doctor Leonard McCoy shook the woman in front of him. He was exasperated.

"Damn it, Lieutenant, can't you remember anything about the Captain's disappearance?"

With effort Lieutenant Nivka tried to compose herself. "I've already told you what I remember, Doctor."

"You Geologists are all alike you all have rocks for brains." McCoy grumbled.

Mr. Spock was standing nearby and arched an alien eyebrow. "Doctor McCoy it is illogical to think that Lieutenant Nivka…"

McCoy turned to face Spock. "Damn you, Spock, don't you even care about the Captain?"

"Really Doctor, it is illogical to assume that I do not care about the Captain's welfare."

McCoy glared at Spock and Lieutenant Nivka, then stormed out of the room. Spock arched an eyebrow at McCoy's retreating figure. He opened his mouth to say something, then suddenly collapsed. McCoy and Lientenant Nivka rushed to his side.

"Spock, are you alright?" McCoy asked as he supported Spock's head.

Spock leaned forward, clutching his head in his hands. "Doctor, I just felt the most unbearable pain I have ever endured."

McCoy helped Spock to a standing position."I'd better get you to sick bay."

Spock shook his head. "It will not be necessary, Doctor. It was not my pain. It was the Captain's."

Chapter 1

Captain's log 4829.1

The Enterprise is currently investigating the disappearance of a Vulcan Science vessel, which disappeared in a relatively uncharted sector of space. The Vulcans were conducting research on a class M planet, in which the inhabitants had vanished centuries ago, and now the Vulcan Team has also vanished into thin air.

Kirk sighed as he cut off the transmission. He was tired. The Enterprise had been scheduled for shore leave when star-fleet informed him of the emergency. So far nothing was happening. No distress calls, nothing. It was as if the Vulcan research team never existed, or the planet for that matter. Kirk sighed again. He hated mysteries.

Kirk looked around his office in disgust. This place is a mess. Kirk exhaled as he swirled his chair around and threw a stylus in the air. After catching the stylus he reviewed his schedule. He was supposed to see Lieutenant Nivka any minute. As if in answer to his thoughts, his door buzzer sounded.

"Come," Kirk said as he threw the stylus in the air for one more catch. The stylus clattered to the floor when he caught sight of the woman that stood in the doorway. She was small and slender. But it was her face that caught his attention. Edith. She looked just like Edith. Her hair was blonde instead of brown; however, she had the same high cheek-bones and violet-blue eyes as Edith. Kirk stared. He had to restrain himself from calling out Edith's name.

"Captain?"

"Oh…a…yes I'm sorry for staring like that, but you look like someone I knew a long time ago." Kirk grinned.

Her face remained expressionless. "I am Lieutenant Nivka, sir."

Kirk cleared his throat. "Well, Lieutenant I was reviewing your records and they are quite impressive." Kirk paused trying to think of something else to say. When an awkward silence started to fill the room, Kirk cleared his throat. "Well, that's all for now Lieutenant, welcome aboard the Enterprise."

Lieutenant Nivka seemed to stare right through Kirk. "Yes sir, thank you sir."

Kirk's curiosity suddenly got the better of him. He felt annoyed at the way she had intimidated him. "Maybe she's just nervous," Kirk thought. He leaned forward. "Ah Lieutenant, just one more thing, you don't have pointed ears do you?"

Lieutenant Nivka leaned her head to the side. "Sir?"

Kirk laughed. "Your stoicism reminds me of my Vulcan first officer, Spock. Relax, Lieutenant. I know it's your first deep space mission, however, you must remember that we've all had a first deep-space mission.

For the first time Lieutenant Nivka smiled. "Of course, Captain, thank you,sir."

Kirk burst out laughing as soon as the doors clicked shut. "I acted like a school boy," he thought. "She must think I'm some sort of lecher." Kirk felt an ache in his throat as painful memories assailed him. Would he ever forget Edith?

McCoy sat in a corner of the officer's mess with Spock. They ate their lunch in silence. McCoy hardly noticed what he ate as he crammed the food in his mouth. He was worried about the Captain. Their last mission had been hard on Jim. Their head geologist had been killed. Like any good Captain, Jim always felt responsible when a crewmember died in the line of duty. McCoy glanced over at Spock. He always felt that the Vulcan knew what he was thinking. He scowled. "Spock, don't stare at me like that. It gives me the creeps."

Spock raised an incredulous eyebrow. "Doctor, I was not staring at you. I was deep in thought."

McCoy snorted. "I'm sure you were."

They both fell silent as Kirk listlessly approached them. "Good afternoon, Spock, Bones." Kirk smiled, yet his eyes had a faraway look as he spoke.

"Jim, is there something bothering you?" McCoy asked with concern.

"No, Bones, I'm fine," Kirk snapped.

McCoy opened his mouth to protest, but changed his mind when he saw the look on Kirk's face. Suddenly Kirk's eyes focused on a woman across the room. Without a word he left the table and crossed the room in a couple of strides. Kirk hesitated as he stood before Lieutenant Nivka. "Lieutenant?" Kirk asked softly. She turned towards him, and Kirk was again struck by her resemblance to Edith. Kirk cleared his throat. "Lieutenant, I was wondering if you would join me for lunch. I need to brief you on your duties."

Lieutenant Nivka raised an eyebrow in surprise. "I've already had lunch, Captain, and I'm well aware of my duties, sir."

Kirk gave her a charming smile. "Well, come meet my First Officer Spock, and ship's Head Surgeon Doctor Leonard McCoy."

Lieutenant Nivka appraised Kirk coolly. "I have already met Mr. Spock; however, I have not met Doctor McCoy."

Kirk smiled again as he propelled Lieutenant Nivka across the room to where McCoy and Spock were sitting. "Lieutenant Nivka may I present Doctor McCoy, ship's Head Surgeon and I believe you have already met Mr. Spock "Spock nodded politely.

McCoy looked up at lieutenant Nivka. He shivered. She looked just like Edith Keeler. "I'm pleased to meet you, Lieutenant," McCoy smiled.

Lieutenant Nivka did not return the smile. "I am also pleased to meet you, Doctor."

Kirk rubbed his hands together to break the uncomfortable silence which had arisen. "Lieutenant, have you had a tour of the ship, yet?"

Lieutenant Nivka shook her head. "No, I haven't, Captain."

Kirk's eyes lit up. "Well, I have a few hours before I'm on duty, so I'll show you around."

Lieutenant Nivka looked slightly uncomfortable. "That's quite alright, Captain. I don't really think it's proper."

Kirk's eyes widened. "Not proper. Why I'm the most proper person to show you around. I'm the Captain."

Lieutenant Nivka shrugged. "Well, sir if you have nothing better to do."

Kirk looked deep into her eyes and smiled. "I can think of nothing better. Plus I need some relaxing company."

McCoy glared after them as they left the room. "She's about as relaxing as a rattlesnake."

Spock arched an eyebrow. "Doctor, what does a rattlesnake have to do with …"

"Oh, never mind," McCoy growled. "Spock, what do you think is wrong with Jim?"

Spock steepled his fingers in front of him. "Doctor, I think that Lieutenant Nivka's resemblance to Edith Keeler is part of the Captain's problem."

McCoy's eyes widened. "Well, Mr. Spock, that's a brilliant deduction. I don't think I could have figured that one out by myself."

Spock ignored McCoy's sarcasm. "The Captain is definitely not himself."

McCoy and Spock exchanged uneasy glances as they look over at kirk's untouched plate of food.

Lieutenant Nivka marveled at Kirk's knowledge of every function aboard the Enterprise. She watched him as he walked down the halls of his majestic ship. Kirk seemed weary, yet his face was filled with the wonder of a small child. It was as if he were seeing the ship for the first time. Something about Kirk's enthusiasm reminded Lieutenant Nivka's fiancé Robert. She winced when she thought of the last time she had seen Robert. He had been exuberant, like Kirk. On the day he was killed Robert had seemed to have a premonition of his own death. Kirk had stopped talking, sensing her lack of attention. Kirk's eyes locked with hers. They were bright with fear.

"Captain, are you alright?" Lieutenant Nivka asked.

Kirk leaned heavily against the wall; it was as if he were willing the Enterprise to give him strength and protection. He stood still for a moment, then grinned a sheepish smile. "I'm fine Lieutenant. I'm just a little tired." Kirk pushed himself off the wall. "Let's resume our tour, shall we?" Kirk laughed as the turbo-lift sped them on their way. "I must apologize for foisting myself on you, Lieutenant. Doctor McCoy has been trying to trap me into a medical exam for days, so I thought I'd offer you a tour and give him the slip."

"Well, Captain, you do seem kind of pale and you didn't eat your lunch, so maybe a medical would be prudent."

Kirk held his hands over his ears. "Not you too," he moaned. If you all keep this up I'll have to surrender."

Lieutenant Nivka smiled. "Maybe, you should surrender, Captain."

Kirk smiled back. "Maybe I should." Kirk's gaze from Lieutenant Nivka's shifted away from her face as the turbo-lift came to a graceful stop. "Well, here we are, at the inner sanctum of the Enterprise, engineering"

The turbo lift doors opened with a swooshing sound. Lieutenant Nivka glanced around her in wonder as the engineering section hummed and pulsed It was definitely the life of the ship.

"Mister Scott," Kirk barked.

"Aye, Captain, what can I do for you?" Scotty drawled.

Kirk smiled at his engineer's enthusiasm. "Mister Scott, I was just showing our head geologist Lieutenant Nivka around. How would you like to continue the tour by showing her around engineering?

"Aye, lass it's a pleasure to meet you," Scotty said as he proudly took the Lieutenant's arm.

Kirk chuckled to himself as he watched Scotty gesturing towards control panels like a proud mother hen. Kirk watched them a few moments, then let his mind drift. For the past few nights he hadn't been sleeping well. Bizarre nightmares had plagued his dreams. Vividly Kirk recalled the dream he'd had the other night. Kirk stood in front of McCoy with blood running down his hands.

"Bones help me." Kirk cried.

"Jim, I can't. I can't stop the blood." Suddenly McCoy began to laugh. "It's the blood of Edith. You let her die, Jim."

Kirk grabbed a hold of McCoy. "Bones stop laughing and help me." Kirk could feel his chest tightening in fear.

"Captain, are you alright?" Scotty's voice was full of concern.

Kirk nodded absent mindedly. "Yes, Mister Scott, I'm fine. Come on Lieutenant I still have one more place to show you."

Lieutenant Nivka turned towards Scotty and smiled. "Thank you for showing me around, Mister Scott."

Scotty beamed. "It was a pleasure, lass."

Kirk shook his head as they left engineering. "Scotty, watches over those engines as if they were his children."

Lieutenant Nivka smiled. "He's very charming."

Kirk pretended to be shocked. "Lieutenant, don't tell me you're susceptible to the highland brogue?"

Lieutenant Nivka paused, then laughed as they entered the turbo-lift. "Well, Captain, where's our next destination?

Kirk smiled. "Have you been to the botanical gardens yet?

Lieutenant Nivka shook her head. "I haven't had time."

"Then you are in for a real treat." Kirk said as the turbo-lift hummed to a stop. Kirk put his hand on Lieutenant Nivka's arm. "You must close your eyes, Lieutenant."

Lieutenant hesitated, then obediently closed her eyes. Kirk laughed as he guided her along. Suddenly he stopped. "Alright, Lieutenant, you can open your eyes now."

Lieutenant Nivka opened her eyes. There were beautiful plants and flowers everywhere. "It's wonderful," she gasped.

Kirk smiled at her reaction." It is, isn't it?"

"Yes, Captain, it is truly spectacular."

Kirk watched her as she exclaimed at the beauty of the different flowers and plants. Looking down at his hands Kirk noticed a small stream of blood running down his index finger. His chest constricted in terror.

"Captain, what is it?" Lieutenant Nivka asked as she came to stand next to Kirk.

Kirk clasped both his hands behind his back to keep them from trembling. "Yes, I'm fine. I tried to pick a rose for you. I guess I cut myself." Kirk held out his palm to inspect it.

Lieutenant Nivka smiled and shook her head. "You shouldn't try to pick roses, Captain."

Kirk grinned. "I guess some people never learn." They stood silence each lost in their own thoughts. "Lieutenant, what is your first name?" Kirk asked softly.

Lieutenant Nivka turned around in surprise. "Captain, you read my records and you don't remember?"

Even though she was joking, Kirk fought the rising panic that rose in his throat. He couldn't even remember reading her file, but he must have.

Lieutenant Nivka laughed. "Don't worry, Captain, I'm sure you're just tired. By the way my name is Tatiana."

Kirk cursed himself inwardly as his words rushed out like a blundering fool. "That's Russian, isn't it?" Kirk cringed. His voice sounded so loud and harsh.

Lieutenant Nivka didn't seem to notice. "Yes, I was named after my Russian grandmother."

Kirk smiled. "We'll have to tell Ensign Chekov." Kirk paused. "So, Tatiana, what made you decide to join Starfleet? There was such a long pause that Kirk thought that she wasn't going to answer him.

Tatiana sighed. "My father died in space when I was a child. Later my fiancé was also killed on a diplomatic mission. I guess I became obsessed with the idea of working in space. So here I am." She paused and looked up at Kirk. "I guess you probably wouldn't understand."

Kirk's eyes were filled with pain. "Yes, I would. My brother Sam died on a colony. Sometimes I think there's a mistake and that he'll show up someplace. Deep in my heart I know he never will." Kirk felt the familiar ache of grief welling up in his throat. "Lieutenant, do you know how many friends and lovers I've had to watch die? Many, I've seen more of my share of sacrifices all in the name of duty. It hurts and I find that the pain and guilt never go away."

Lieutenant Nivka touched his arm. "I'm sorry, Captain."

Kirk bent to retrieve the rose that lay at his feet. He gently twirled the stem in his fingers. "From fairest creatures we desire increase that thereby beauty's rose might never die."

"Shakespeare, Sonnet I?" Tatiana asked.

Kirk smiled. "Are you also a Shakespeare enthusiast Lieutenant?"

Tatiana nodded. "Yes, I am. Although it's hard to find the old hard back volumes anymore, as most people just read the digital discs."

Kirk shook his head ruefully. "I know and it's a shame. I have some Shakespeare reproduction hardbacks. Would you like to borrow one?"

Tatiana smiled. "Oh, Captain, that would be wonderful."

Kirk grinned at her enthusiasm. "I'll have my yeoman bring a volume around to your quarters. Well, now that's settled I'd better get back to the bridge. Thank you, Lieutenant for allowing me to steal you away for a tour."

"Thank you, sir, it has been most interesting." Without another word Tatiana turned and left.

Kirk slowly made his way to the bridge. Suddenly a wave of dizziness overcame him. Everything blurred out of focus as he sagged against the wall. An anxious crewmember rushed to his side. "Are you alright, Captain?"

Kirk straightened up slowly. "Yes, I'm fine."

The crew member looked unconvinced. "Would you like me to escort you to sick-bay, sir?"

Kirk shook his head. "No, I'm fine."

Carefully, Kirk made his way back to his quarters. Once he was inside the room began to spin. Kirk barely made it to his bed before he collapsed. When his door buzzer sounded, Kirk jumped.

"Come," Kirk called out wearily.

Spock walked in. His presence exuded a calm, powerful energy. "Captain, you were due on the bridge ten minutes ago."

Kirk chuckled. He didn't want Spock to notice how bad he felt. "Spock, I was just going to inform you to take the con. I need to rest."

Spock nodded his head in agreement. "Yes, Captain, I quite understand. Would you like me to send for Doctor McCoy?"

Kirk shook his head. "No, I just need to rest."

Kirk must have dozed off, for he didn't remember Spock leaving. He was alone in his quarters. Something evil lurked in the dark corner of his room. Kirk was terrified, as he buried his face in his pillow to keep from screaming. Finally he fell asleep and dreamed.

Kirk sat in a hay-loft with his brother, Sam and his best friend Mike."

"You're not afraid of the dark, are you?" Mike whispered.

"Of course not," Kirk scoffed. Even though Sam was older he shivered closer to Kirk.

"That's good because we could meet evil things out there. If you're afraid they'll know and they'll rip your heart out. Are you both ready?"

Kirk and Sam nodded their heads in unison.

"Then let's go "Mike announced with an exaggerated chill in his voice.

As they made their way out of the hay-loft, Kirk's heart was pounding. The normal chirping of the crickets sounded sinister. The thick, humid air seemed to harbor more than just innocent insects.

Suddenly, Mike stopped and faced Kirk. "Where's Sam?" He asked.

Kirk looked around him somehow knowing that Sam wouldn't be there. Mike vanished and McCoy knelt in front of Kirk. Kirk watched in horror as McCoy's eyes met his. "I'm sorry, Jim. Your brother is dead."

Kirk looked sown at his hands. They were covered with blood. Kirk screamed.

: