I grew up surrounded by others. First, I had my littermates. Then, there were the seven other cats who were in the nursery with us. We grew and played together. Even loved each other. And I remember my first love: Darkfur. Yes, I know that he isn't my mate and never was my mate, but I remember how much I loved him as an apprentice and even as a young warrior. But onto the story, silly kits!
There were ten of us and I remember that the leader didn't know initially how to apprentice everyone, especially when there were five of us. Then six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. None of us were given our parents as mentors but Fawnstar, then Fawnpaw, was given the leader as her mentor. I think that he had seen some promise that none of us did. Back when we were apprentices, she was vain and no one could imagine her as the leader. Anyways, back to Darkfur.
Darkfur is four moons younger than I am and I only began to care for him more when I was ten moons old. I remember looking at him one day and have something stir in my chest. At first, I didn't know what to make of it. I told my mother, Cranetail, about it. She told me that I had a crush on then-Darkpaw.
I was confused. If I loved then-Darkpaw, didn't that mean that he loved me back? What I didn't realize was that he loved then-Mousepaw, now Mousestep. And the worst part was that she liked him back. Mousestep is two moons younger than me, much closer to Darkfur in age than I am. That made it easier for them to connect, especially as I was about to become a warrior.
I remember hating then-Mousepaw for stealing my mate. She was nervous, always unsure of what she should do. "Skittish as a mouse," I said to her once. "They should name you Mouseheart because you're too scared to do anything!"
Once my father, Gooseclaw, heard of my bullying, he immediately stopped it. "We thrive on unity," he said to me. "We cannot afford to be cruel to our Clanmates. Mousepaw is your Clanmates and your mother's apprentice. Make peace with her."
I did make peace with her, begrudgingly. However, I couldn't get over the fact that she had stolen then-Darkpaw from me. So what did I do? I started dreaming about getting rid of her. Perhaps I would kill her, or chase her out of the Clan. I told no one about this, not my parents, not my siblings, and certainly not my best friend, then-Daisypaw.
You don't know who then-Daisypaw was? Well, as a warrior, she was Daisyflower, but died protecting then-Copperkit, then-Honeykit, and then-Lightningkit from an attack by another Clan. She was a good warrior, loyal to the end. I hope that she is waiting for me in StarClan, and that she is proud of her kits. Anyways, back to the story.
I plotted all sorts of crazy things to try and get rid of then-Mousepaw. By the time my plan was nearing completion, it had taken me five moons. I was a young warrior, but so were Darkfur and Mousestep. Their relationship had kept growing and everyone thought that they would become mates because they were so close together. I hated them. But a part of me still loved Darkfur, so of course he had to live in my grandiose plan.
My plan was to hunt with Mousestep and drown her in a river. How would I do this? I would propose a hunt to make peace with her, and she would accept. Then, we'd go to the river and fish for a bit. When we caught a few fish, I would push her in and hold her down. She would drown, and I would have Darkfur all to myself. But things didn't go that way.
I began to notice that Crowheart, a warrior two moons older than me, was talking to me often. We spent time together, and he came up with excuses to hunt with me. At first, I didn't know what was going on, so I went to Cranetail again. She told me that Crowheart was in love with me.
I didn't like Crowheart at first, to tell you kits the truth. He was loud and occasionally obnoxious. In addition, he was always telling us what the "right" thing to do was. That's why he was named Crowheart. But after my mother told me that he liked me, I started looking at him in a new way. Yes, he was loud, but he was funny and always tried to make sure that everyone was happy, especially me. Yes, he was always telling us what to do, but more often than not, he was worried about us, his Clanmates. I began to spend more time with him because I wanted to, and realized that my love for Darkfur and hate for Mousestep had quieted down to a tiny ember. And after another moon, it flickered out. Instead, I had fallen in love with Crowheart, the tom who was kind, sweet, helpful, and funny. The tom who worried about me when I was sick. The tom who loved me as much as I had begun to love him.
This is where this story ends, kits. I became mates with Crowheart a few moons later, and so did Darkfur and Mousestep. But we had all become friends. I had two litters of kits; tiny ones, but kits nonetheless. I raised my first litter with Mousestep, and my second with one of Mousestep's kits, who had grown up. Sadly, Crowheart died in the same battle as Daisyflower did, but I will never forget my mate. I'm sure he waits for me in StarClan.