It's all your fault!
Why?
Have you heard that rumor?
They're lies!
If only you died instead!
"Sakakibara-san? Can you hear me?"
The voice of the principal brings me back to reality. I lift my head up and let my gaze wander over the run down building in front of me. Rotten wood is peeling off the sides of the building, the weeds that litter the dirt path scrape my ankles every time I walk, and I can't get the putrid smell coming from who knows where out of my nose.
"This is E-class, where you'll be until you shape up. I assume that you have already heard of their situation?"
I nod my head and remember the conversation I had with the Ministry of Defense last week. Kill a man who can destroy the Earth? I wouldn't have believed it if the Principal wasn't taking it so seriously as well. He didn't laugh or call it foolish at all.
I cringe when the principal places his hands on my shoulders. His ice cold voice sends shivers down my spine, "I hope you are able to join us again on the main campus soon," he says in a low voice. I try to shrug him off, but his grip is tight.
I rigidly shake my head in agreement and he releases me. This man is Gakuho Asano. The principal of my school. His manipulative powers is what helps him put others beneath him. He could make a grown man pee his pants with one stare.
I meekly follow behind him behind him while he leads me into the building. While he continues walking, I reach inside my bag and pull out a book. I gingerly open up the pages and begin reading where I left off before I left for school. So engrossed in my book, I almost trip over the steps in the entrance. I brush it off and listen to the sound of the principals footsteps so I know I won't wander off to another place.
"Sakakibara-san, we are here." I ignore the principal's voice and continue reading my book.
Huh? How can the victim also be a cannibal like the criminal? I flip to the next page and read the first words. Someone gently pushes me forward and I peer up from my book. I widen my eyes at the sight before me.
"AH-!" I let out a gasp and drop my book on the floor. I back away from the large yellow creature looming over me. My back makes contact with a wall and my knees start shaking.
"Aoi Sakakibara right? I am Koro sensei. Welcome to E-class!" Koro sensei reaches a long slimy and yellow tentacle towards me as if he wants to shake my hand.
"D-Disgusting! Stay away!" I cringe away from him. Koro sensei's shoulders slump and he tugs on the sleeve of a tall Japanese male with spiky black hair.
"Karasuma-sensei! She called me disgusting!"
Karasuma-sensei shrugs him off and lets out a groan. "Don't touch me!"
I don't remove my gaze from the slithery creature who calls himself a teacher. The tall man brushes Koro sensei off and nods his head in acknowledgment to me.
"I'm Karasuma. I am a part of the Ministry of Defense but I'm here as your physical education teacher." Karasuma points at the beautiful foreigner behind him. "She is Irina, an assassin but also your English teacher."
How can they all seem so calm around this giant octopus?
"Can you bring me to class Karasuma-sensei? I don't really want to…" I look at Koro sensei and he flinches at my fearful gaze on him. He begins pouting and singing to himself about how lonesome he is as he leaves the faculty room.
"Don't worry about that octopus. "Irina waves her hand in dismissal. She and Karasuma begin to exit the faculty room as well. I search for the item I dropped earlier before following them.
"Wait!" I shriek. Both adults flinch when I dive towards the ground and scoop my book in my hands. I remain on my knees and brush the dust off of the dark blue cover of the book. I let out a sigh of relief when there is no damage on it. Karasuma and Irina both look at me like I'm crazy but don't pry any further.
On the way to class, I reopen my book and try to leave off where I started. I don't even get a full page finished until my nose bumps into something solid. My face has made contact with Karasuma's shoulder. I turn my head and see a full classroom of students all staring at me.
"Class, let's treat our new classmate with respect!" Koro sensei beams and lightly shoves me forward. "Introduce yourself." I almost lose my footing and I stumble a bit. The class waits expectantly for me to say something.
I clutch my book tighter to my body, "Aoi Sakakibara," I greet in a monotone voice. The entire class says nothing at first. I don't wait for them to say anything in return, I see an empty desk behind a girl with glasses and start to walk towards it.
"U-Uhm, that's how it is then class! Aoi-chan will be our new friend!"
"As if I'd want to be friends with all these people," I mumble to myself.
_
The bell for lunch sounds and I beam a bit when I fish my book out of my school bag. After being scolded for reading during class, I decided to stop so I wouldn't draw attention to myself.
"What are you reading?" a sing song voice chimes, I inwardly groan and see a girl with green hair and pigtails leaning on my desk, "I'm Kaede Kayano by the way!"
I try to avoid her and keep reading but she leans forward and tilts her head at me, "Who wrote it?"
"A-Asada Jiro …" I try to cover my face with my book to see if she gets that I don't want to talk. She snatches the book out of my hands and looks at the page I was on.
"Woah! That's a lot of hard Kanji! How can you read this?"
"Can you…" I try to grab the book back from her but she pulls it farther out of my grasp.
"You like High school level books?" A boy (?) with blue hair and pigtails to match Kayano's asks, who was drawn here by her surprised voice.
A taller boy with red hair and mercury eyes grabs the book from Kayano and begins flailing it around. I start clenching my fists until my knuckles turn white. "Seems boring. I'm sure I could read this," He tosses the book up and down in a carefree manner.
I grit my teeth and shoot up from my chair, "STOP THAT!" Kayano flinches at my loud demand. A bunch of eyes are on us now. I stomp over to the tall red head, eyes blazing with anger, "Give that back!" I snatch the book from his fingertips and storm out of the room.
The nerve of those guys!
I spot a tree outside the building. The tall trees around it create the perfect amount of shade under it. Tempted by the peaceful scenery, I dash over to the shaded spot and plop myself under the tree. I open my book up and start reading. This is what I want!
Eternal silence
_
I ended up skipping all of third period to sit outside. After skimming the last few words on the final page, I let out a satisfied hum and close the book. To think the victim created split personalities after she killed her best friend. She was the victim AND the criminal!
"Murderer,"
A voice whispers as the gentle breeze sways around me.
"Did you like the book?" a voice brings me out of my thoughts. I look up and see a boy with long brown hair and two cowlicks on top of his head. What really catches my attention is his bright gold eyes. "I'm Yuma Isogai, the class president."
"Don't care," I respond bluntly. He seems taken back by my response but gives me a kindhearted smile; a smile that makes my stomach turn. "Don't forget to pick a group for our Kyoto trip next week. We are picking groups after school."
I rise up from my spot under the tree and walk past him, ignoring his request. Stupid. I start walking down the mountain path to get home.
"Your name is written as 'blue sky' right?"
I stop and turn around to raise an eyebrow at him. Why does he care?
"No, Sakakibara is written as 'unique'. So it's 'unique blue'"
He hums in understanding and nods his head. "I knew it had something to do with blue! Because, you're blue eyes are super pretty!" he says nonchalantly.
I feel a bit of blood rush to my cheeks at his genuine compliment but I quickly wipe it away with a glare.
"Go play Class president somewhere else. You bug me." I swiftly turn around and leave a dumbfounded Isogai behind.
I remember his kindhearted smile and gestures from before and my lips twitch into a frown.
I don't like this class.
_
Unfortunately, Koro sensei, caught me leaving and made me go back to school for the last period. The entire time I just blankly stared at the chalkboard until the final bell rang.
Excitedly, I pack up my stuff and prepare myself to leave. The library is open for another two hours! I can get another book before I go home!
"Hey! Sakakibara-san!" I sigh at the familiar voice and see Kayano in front of my desk twiddling her fingers. "Sorry about earlier! I didn't mean to bug you!"
"But you did," I retort. She flinches at my words but that doesn't stop her.
"Want to be in my group for the Kyoto trip? We promise we won't bug you too much!" She points at her group and I spot the tall redhead from earlier. I feel anger bubble up inside me at the smug gaze he always has pressed on his face.
"No, thank you."
Kayano appears crestfallen at my rejection, "Then-! Let's go shopping together for the trip after school! I still need help-"
"I said, no." I gather my things and leave the classroom. My pace is pretty fast down the mountain path to get back to the main campus.
I wasted a whole bunch of time dealing with those annoyances!
After a long hour of rocks, holes I tripped in, and snakes, I finally made it to the main campus library. Maybe to treat myself, I can check out two books!
I enter the air conditioned library and take in a deep breath. The smell of coffee and paper fills my nostrils and I let out a content sigh. This is what I've been waiting for. I immediately speed walk to Modern Literature area in the library. I make contact with a large body and this causes the person to drop all their stuff. Too determined to get my books, I keep walking past them.
"How rude, aren't you going to help?" I freeze at the sound of the voice. I turn my head and see a familiar strawberry blonde head. He recognizes me as well and gives me a malice filled grin.
"Well, well, if it isn't Sakakibara-san?"
"Asano-kun…"
Gakushu stands up, ignoring his dropped belongings and begins circling me. Like a hawk getting ready to swoop down and kill its prey.
"How does it feel to be a part of the trash when you were on top for so long?"
I tense up at the same chill his voice gives me as the principal, "I don't care," I reply as calmly as possible.
"That's right, you don't care," I flinch when he draws in closer, "That careless attitude that you developed this spring is what got you in this mess. I wonder why?"
I grit my teeth and push past him, "Excuse me, Asano-kun. I have to grab some books."
He simply shrugs his shoulders, "I hope one day you will realize the error of your ways and make your way back to the top."
I push his words to the back of my mind and begin searching for books.
_
At five they started to kick students out of the library so I made my way home as well. I ignore the whispers behind me and try to focus on the content of my book. It's natural for people to talk about an A-Class student suddenly put in E-Class. Especially with all the…rumors going around lately.
I stop in front of the red light and read my book until it turns green. A light beep is heard and I take a small step forward, never removing my gaze from my book. There is a strong tug on the collar of my shirt. I jerk my head up and see that rude redhead from earlier.
"Pay more attention. You almost got run over."
I look at the light and he was right. The beep I heard was for the other side of the road to be able to move. I shrug his hand off me and I keep reading my book. I'm not thanking a guy like him! He had no respect for the book I had earlier. And the way he looks down on others is annoying. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out he thinks he is better than others, his body language tells it all.
I hear one more beep and when I feel a few shoulders bump mine, I know it's safe to cross. After walking for a while, I reach a rundown apartment complex and make my way to room 102 as silently as possible.
The landlady should be out shopping…
While tiptoeing my way to the door, I fish my keys out of my bag. I place them in the keyhole and jiggle the key around until it opens. I notice the mailbox is shoved with papers and envelopes with my name on it. I leave the mailbox the way it is and enter my dark apartment room.
I am greeted with silence and the slight draft coming in from the kitchen. I kick off my shoes and make my way to the living room without tripping on the crumpled trash and takeout food boxes thrown carelessly on the floor. There is a dresser against the wall in the corner of the room that is clean and free of dust.
I grab a box of incense from the kitchen along with a lighter. After successfully lighting it up, I drop to my knees and clap my hands twice. I bring my gaze to the three picture frames and give them a small smile.
"…I'm home…"
_
I rub my eyes and let out a loud yawn. I was up all last night reading again. Maybe I'll sleep during Japanese history, I'm good at that class.
"Sakakibara-san, are you tired?" Isogai cocks an eyebrow at me.
"Something like that." I bury my head in my arms and strong smell enters my nostrils. I bring the dark grey large sweater that I wear instead of the uniform jacket to my nose and I sniff it. Shit. I need to clean it again. But…I look at the stray threads hanging off the sleeves and collar and let out a sigh. If I wash it, it might fall apart this time…
"Did you figure out a group for the trip yet?" Kataoka pipes up. She pulls out what appears to be a roster with a bunch of markings on them.
"I don't care about stuff like that," I mumble and dig around my bag for the new books I got yesterday, "Just put me where it's convenient."
Isogai and Kataoka both stare at each other for a moment. As if they had a mutual understanding, they nod at each other and turn to face me.
"It's decided then." Isogai makes a few markings on the roster. "You will be in our group!"
"Do what you want." I shrug my shoulders and start reading. The pair sweatdrops and let out shaky chuckles.
"Oh yeah!" Isogai dashes out of the classroom for a minute leaving Kataoka to deal with the awkward silence. I focus solely on my book until Kataoka says something.
"You seriously grabbed that book?" she asks incredulously.
Book?
I perk up at that word and see Isogai with what looks like three dictionaries combined. I shuffle in my seat a bit and try to seem not excited for Isogai's explanation at what the book is.
"This is a guidebook for Kyoto that Koro sensei made!"
"Guidebook?" I reach forward and take the object from his hands. It's heavier than I expected and it slips from my fingertips and slams on the desk with a loud bang.
"He insisted we take it! But if it's too heavy then I can carry it for you?"
I ignore Isogai's offer and open up the guidebook to the first page and scan the words on it.
"She's reading it…" Kataoka whispers in disbelief.
Isogai chuckles and rests a hand on her shoulder. "Sakakibara-san is a huge book fanatic it seems."
"Hey all!" A cheery voice booms throughout the classroom. A male with light brown hair and a middle part enters the room while waving at the three, "Why do you all look like you are having fun without me?"
"Oh, Maehara. Sakakibara-san is joining our group for the trip," Isogai explains to the new annoying voice that entered the classroom.
"Seriously?! That's great!" A hear footsteps walking towards me and then they suddenly stop. I halt my reading and look at the Maehara boy.
"Let's get to know each other on this trip!" He holds out his hand for what I'm assuming is a handshake. I scoff and turn my head away.
"No." Maehara takes a step back at my rejection and looks dumbfounded, "I don't plan on doing that on this trip."
"Then, you just want to focus on the assassination…?" Maehara hesitantly asks. I shake my head.
"I don't care about that either. Just do whatever you want and I'll sit there quietly."
Maehara slaps my shoulder and I cringe at the sudden physical contact. "Don't be like that!"
"D-Don't touch me so casually, you animal!"
Maehara holds his hands over his heart and takes a few steps back. "Your words are hurting me!" He groans.
I let out a huff and try to go back to my reading before class starts.
"Come on! Play around a little!" Maehara shrugs off the wounded act and leans on my desk. "Don't just sit there and read the whole time!"
I grit my teeth and my hold on the book tightens. This little…
"Maehara, just leave her alone," Isogai grabs his shoulders and pulls him away from my desk. Maehara protests but notices Koro sensei walk inside the classroom and reluctantly goes to his desk.
"Let's start class!" Koro sensei greets the class with the roll book in his hand. I let out a frustrated groan and slam the guidebook shut. I didn't get any reading done this morning either!
_
The morning of the trip, all the students were excitedly chatting amongst themselves about where they would sit or the first things they were gonna do in Kyoto.
"What about you, Sakakibara-san?" A small petite girl with short brown hair grabs my attention. Taken back by the stranger greeting me, I stutter and look back and forth.
"Oh! I haven't introduced myself yet! I'm Hinata!"
"I see…"
"So, where are you going to sit on the train?"
"Wherever a seat is open I guess." Hinata raises her eyebrows at me and clamps her hands on my shoulders and shakes me a little.
"That's no good! What if you sit by a disgusting guy like Maehara?" She exclaims.
"Hey! I heard that!" Maehara growls from the small group next to us.
Hinata continues speaking, completely ignoring Maehara's outburst.
"Why not sit with me? We are in the same group and all!"
"We are?" I never exactly looked at the group lists that Isogai gave me. All the names look unfamiliar anyway. "Then, I'll take you up on that offer," I nod my head to her proposal, hoping that will make her go away and let me continue reading.
Hinata grasps my hands and shakes them excitedly, "I look forward to getting to know you!"
I try to pull my hands from her iron grip but she's holding so tight that if I tried I would probably lose a finger. She finally releases my hand when an obnoxious chuckles are heard.
"Too bad you have to ride coach!" a guy who I can assume if from the main campus sneers at his. His companion, wearing the same smug smirk shrugs his shoulders.
"The trash gets what they deserve while we ride first class!" They both chuckle at their insults and enter a different entrance to the train.
Hinata scoffs and gives me that same warming smile that makes me sick. "Don't worry about them! Let's focus on having fun!"
I shrug my shoulders and look at the guidebook in my hands. "Comments like that don't bug me."
"Eh?" Hinata widens her bright purple eyes at me, "it doesn't make you mad?"
"No. those two are only bringing others down to get a power rush. It's pitiful."
I expect her to ask if I was crazy or thinking clearly. I didn't, however, expect her to engulf me in a hug.
"That's amazing, Sakakibara-chan! You're so cool!"
I tug at her arms frantically to pull her off, cringing at the sudden change of honorifics. "I wasn't trying to be cool! Let me go!"
"Oh, sorry! I just got excited!" Hinata grabs my hands and directs me to the train. "Let's find our seats!"
"Okay…," I mumble. Her excited attitude is such a headache…
The train ride was what I expected it to be: Noisy. Kids were shouting loudly and running from seat to seat to talk to each other. Some just talk loudly over a card game. Every time I would try and read just a little, Hinata would try and drag me into more meaningless conversations. Naturally, I brush them off, hoping she will take a hint and stop talking but she keeps getting bolder and bolder.
"Then, the heroine went off to confess her love!" Hinata flails her arms and continues to attempt to explain manga to me after I told her I had never read it. Books like that aren't real literature so I never bothered with it.
"It sucks Koro sensei is still super-fast even though he is sick!" Hinata pouts at the yellow octopus dodging every student's knife jabs coming at him.
"I guess."
"But, I hope our assassination attempt works!" Hinata pulls out a map and shows me the dotted red lines on the map, "Here is where we will strike! Then we get ten billion yen!"
"I see." Hinata lowers her eyes at my blunt answers. She even looks a little sad.
"Aren't you having fun? Don't you want the money?"
I slowly close my book and let out a sigh, "I'm not having fun nor do I care about that bounty. I just want to read but you keep talking and breaking my concentration. You're such a pain."
Hinata's eyes gloss over a bit. She quickly wipes her eyes and waves goodbye to me, "I-I see! Have fun then! I'll go see what Kayano is up to!"
I don't bid her farewell. I open up my book to where my hand was marking the page and read a bit more on the Kyoto history the guidebook has to offer.
"Wasn't that a little too cruel?" Maehara shouts at me. I don't pay any heed to his yelling and try to continue reading. "She was just trying to be nice!" Maehara gets irritated when I don't reply to him and ignore his complaints.
"If you are going to be like that then leave! How do your parents even deal with you?!"
I flinch at the word 'parents'. My hands start sweating and my bottom lip starts twitching a little.
"If only you died instead of them!" voices begin to echo in my head and feel a lump forming in my throat.
"Stop it, you two!" Isogai yells in a scolding tone. I regain my composure and shake my head a little.
"Got it. I'll leave," I briskly stand up and make my way to the back of the train.
"You need both need to calm down," Isogai sighs at my retreating form.
Their voices blur out when I get to the back of the train where the empty seats are. I plop down in one and open up the guidebook once again. Koro sensei did a splendid job on these books. The information doesn't derail and it's all organized fairly well. It's hard to think this creature made these for us students and he wants to destroy the Earth.
Well, it benefits me so it doesn't matter.
"Are you okay?" a let out a gasp and jump out of my seat a little. I didn't even notice Isogai take a seat next to me.
"D-Don't sneak up on my like that, you fool!" my hands get clammy at the proximity of how close he is. I try to scoot even further away but the window prevents me from doing so.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to make sure Maehara didn't hurt your feelings."
"He just annoyed me. Now, you checked on me so you can leave now," I huff and try to get into a comfortable position again. But, with this Class president breathing down my neck is making it impossible.
"How about I sit here with you and-"
"No," I cut him off. Anything but that. Isogai looks at me with a pained expression. He lowers his eyes and gets up from the seat next to me. I let out a long sigh and set my guidebook down in my lap.
"Isogai-kun," I call out to him. He brings his attention to me as soon as he hears his name.
"Yes? What is it?!" Isogai seems delighted that I actually am calling out to someone and I used his name.
"While you're at it, let all the others know." He leans forward and waits for me to continue, "I don't want them to bug me. I don't need their friendship nor do I want to take part in this assassination. Just leave me alone."
Isogai says nothing. He just stares at me with an arched eyebrow and a look of concern. He doesn't agree or say anything else. Isogai turns around and heads back to the front of the train, finally leaving me alone.
I only want to spend the rest of my days on Earth in silence. Why couldn't anyone get that?
But there's no way they can. There no way they would understand my wishes.
Because I am…
A murderer.