His Loyal Friend
Disclaimer: I don't own [Scrubs]. I wish I did.
Note: Slightly AU if you know what's going to happen during Season 8.
Forty was too young for anyone to go, let alone someone who was as loved and respected as he was. Perry looked around the funeral parlor that was obviously way too crowded to see retired doctors, former patients, hell people he didn't even recognize were there to pay respects.
"I think Bambi would've loved to have seen how many people cared about him." Carla was standing directly behind the older doctor, holding her daughter Izzy's hand while she held her son on her opposite hip.
"Oh I'm sure the kid would've loved to have seen all these people weeping over him."
"All of this is going to catch up with you sooner or later. What with Jordan leaving you-"
"You mind not discussing my business at his damn funeral? Which by the way it is MY business not YOUR business so go cluck somewhere else." Perry smiled in triumph as he heard the Latina nurse huff under her breath, knowing full well she was about to turn around and storm off… And he was right though he forgot to add the obvious cursing in Spanish.
His eyes continued to roam over the room as he saw the kids various interns over the years. They were all lined up in front of the casket: Lonnie, Slagathor, Boone, Denise even Keith was there.
Denise had a look of indifference on her face while the other interns were obviously holding back tears. "Yeah it sucks you're dead. I mean you were practically the only person in that dump I didn't hate. Don't expect me to get all misty eyed though, I'm sure you know me better than that. I am gonna miss you so maybe if there is a heaven and they actually let me in-" She paused and took a deep breath. "Now see what the hell you made me do? I'm getting choked up." With that, Denise stormed out of the parlor leaving the other interns sobbing.
Perry almost couldn't believe the icy she-man had actually managed to show some vulnerability. He watched as florists continued to add to the already insane amount of flowers all around the casket.
The casket. God he was such a wimp. He'd been there for over an hour and not ONCE had gone up to it to pay his final respects. Maybe it was because he was sure if he went up to the casket the kid would jump up and throw his arms around him in a hug. Then Perry would've had to break the kids neck, though he was sure he would've thought it was worth it. He inched up a little closer to the casket leaning again the wall. That wasn't the real reason though.
Perry knew if he went up there it would only solidify the thought in his mind, reality would come cra- Holy hell was that the… the… JANITOR?
He was dressed nicely, in a suit, something not many people saw. Lady was by his side clutching his arm as he stood there and stared at the casket. "Well JD, I'm sorry we never really got along. Despite all the torture I put you through I did really like you. It was fun, like a game and you never tried to turn me in that I know of. Goodbye." He started to walk away before turning to look at him one last time. "Oh by the way, I changed the lock on your locker. I didn't even look at the combination so it'll be awhile before they ever clean it out." His wife patted him on the shoulder before they took a seat at the back of the room.
"Hey Dr. C! What are you doing here?"
"Ed?" Perry rolled his eyes. "I'm surprised you got out of bed this early in the morning."
"Had to come pay my respects. You know how hard it is to get an ER shift covered?"
"You're working in an Emergency Room?"
"Yup over at St. Teresa's Clinic a couple of counties over." Ed patted Perry on the shoulder. "I can't stay long though, I promised I'd work at least half my shift."
Perry retreated to another room across the hall. Usually this funeral parlor had at least two funerals going at once but the entire place was full of people wanting to say…
He hadn't once thought it. Even when they gave him the news that he was- the thought never came. Using words like gone, death, goodbye… The past few days he couldn't bring himself to even think it, let alone say it.
It angered him that no one had thought to call to inform him that the accident had happened.
Five Days ago…
Perry had been away that weekend at a conference out in Vegas. When he came back Monday morning he was greeted by a hospital full of solemn faces.
He'd wondered why no one would even make eye contact with him as he walked to his office. But he knew something was wrong. That's when he saw Barbie walking out of a room trembling as she quietly sobbed. Next thing Perry knew he was rushing down the hallway and flinging open the door and the site made him feel ill.
JD hooked up to just about every machine in the hospital, a tube down his throat as the heart monitors beeped out a slow and getting slower rhythm. His face was bruised and scratched his arm had a cast on it, obviously it was broken.
"JD was going for a walk Saturday." Perry turned to see Carla standing in the doorway. "A drunk driver was being chased by the police and he hopped the curb and hit him." She walked in with tears threatening to spill over as she put a hand on his shoulder. "We thought everything was going to be okay but tests came back and he's brain-"
"Don't finish that sentence!" Perry snarled as he jerked away from the nurse's touch. "Why the hell didn't anyone call me?" He didn't care that he was openly upset, he'd never expected to deal with this. He was 15 years older than the kid. "Well? Why? I was only at a stupid conference, it's not like there are a million of them every year I could've gone to."
"When he first came in it seemed like it was nothing serious, maybe he'd be out a few days but after the scan this morning-"
"So now what?"
"Elliot agreed to pull the plug, she's just working up the courage to do it."
Perry didn't say another word, instead he walked out of the room and looked right at Elliot who was being comforted by Turk. He wanted to say something, he really did. But, when she looked at him huge blue eyes, red rimmed and full of tears… He couldn't and he turned on his heels setting a land speed record as he bolted for his office, locking the door behind him.
His ritual for the next days consisted of him getting into the hospital and into his office as fast as he could. No matter how long he stayed there he hardly ever left the room and drowned himself in paperwork. He didn't even come out when Elliot decided to pull the- Of course at night he repeated the ritual in reverse trying to get out as fast he could adding on downing a half bottle of scotch. Wake up repeat. Unfortunately by day three there was no more paper work and he had to leave the office to eat seeing as how nothing had went into his stomach except for water and scotch.
"Dr. Cox." Turk just happened to step in behind him at the lunch. "No one's seen you for a few days and we-"
"Listen Ghandi I'm not in the mood to chit chat today, so let me get my lunch and eat it in peace."
"Elliot wanted me to tell you when and where the funeral is being held."
"I'll be working, I'm sure 90 percent of the hospital will want to go so someone has to be here to-"
"You have to know about all the shift switching that's going on so as many people can go to JD's lay-"
"ENOUGH!" Perry was right up in his face nose to nose. "I'm gonna set some ground rules for the next couple of days. I don't want YOU or any other member of the Get-A-Long Gang to speak to me AT ALL. In fact tell everyone you come across that I don't want to be bothered unless the hospital is burning down." He jerked his tray down the line cutting a few astonished doctors before paying and leaving.
Back to present…
"I thought you weren't coming?" Turk had a slight smirk on his face as if he had been certain the whole time that he would show up.
"I hadn't planned on it but I actually ran out of paperwork to do." There was one bit of information that he had to share with him. "I'm not sure why I feel the need to tell you this but… The board is already badgering me to look for a replacement Residency Director."
"You'd think they could wait for everyone to stop grieving first?"
"I told 'em I was working on it. In fact I worked on it yesterday when I considered giving the position to the Janitor."
"What?"
"I didn't tell them I was seriously working on it."
"Have you gone up and said goodbye yet?" The silence was all the answer he needed. "You know it would mean a lot to him. And you can finally tell him you're proud of him or however you really feel and not feel-"
"I'm good Ghandi."
It was then that Elliot came up holding a five year old girl with long black hair and big blue eyes. "The service is starting in a couple of minutes guys." She looked at Perry as she bounced the girl. "Thank you for coming Dr. Cox."
The little girl in her arms waved at him. "Hi Dr. Cox! Daddy's nappin'!"
He could feel the pang of sorrow in his heart. This little girl would have barely any memories of her father. "Oh... yeah?" God it came out almost as a choked sob.
"Uncle Dan said Daddy's nappin' so he won't be tired when he gets to Heaven."
Elliot looked perplexed. "When did you talk to Uncle Dan?"
"When I brushed my teeth over at Aunt Carla's. He was really dirty, he was takin' a bath all week."
Perry rolled his eyes, big surprise there. "Old habits are hard to break."
The little girl started to squirm in Elliot's hands. "Mommy! I want down!" The little girl was placed on the floor and she tugged on Perry's hand.
"Elliot." Kim had just gotten in with Sam. The boy looked like his father as well.
JD's daughter tugged at his hand again. "Dr. Cox?"
He looked down at the girl eyes wide with curiosity. "Yeah?"
"Why is everyone sad? Mommy won't tell me."
"You're daddy is going away."
"He'll come back right?"
Perry swallowed back rising emotions he wasn't about to break down in front of everyone in the funeral home, including the kids. "No. He's not."
"Why?"
"Once you go to Heaven you can't come back." It wasn't that Perry necessarily believed in heaven but this was a five year old child asking him these questions. He'd learned his lesson with Jack not to treat kids like adults.
"Carol." Elliot grabbed her daughter's hand. "Stop asking Dr. Cox so many questions." She looked up at Perry who had obviously been emotionally shaken by the experience, he was having a harder time keeping himself composed especially at the girls name.
Five years ago…
JD and Elliot had been arguing over the name of the child for the past three months.
"Listen Elliot I'm sorry but I don't like the name Madison."
"You didn't like Celeste, Arriana, Kayley or Nidia either."
"It's because the names are too weird."
"Oh! This coming from a guy whose son has the middle name Gilligan."
"I told you I lost a bet to Turk."
Perry had finally had enough of it and actually stepped in. "Listen Newbie with as little interest I have in your personal life, I have to say the bickering here is driving me insane. Pick a damn name."
Elliot screamed as another contraction hit her. "FINE! YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY THE EXPERT ON GIRLS NAME SO YOU NAME HER!"
Perry flicked his nose and prepared to go off on a rant when Elliot screamed again. "Well, Banshee Barbie why don't you do with something simple like Janice or Carol?"
JD cracked a smile. "Carol, I like that."
Elliot glared at JD. "The middle name will be Celeste." She had his hand in a death grip and he started crying.
"ALRIGHT!"
Back to the present…
The sound of an organ plucked Perry from his thoughts and he found a seat off to the side. The minister started speaking but he wasn't paying attention. In fact he pretty much knew all that was being said was what he already knew.
JD was compassionate man, a great doctor, a good friend and a devoted husband, father, brother and son. Anyone that spent 10 minutes with him would've known that.
"If you're trying to hide whatever it is that you're feeling, you're doing a horrible job Perry."
He turned around and saw Kelso sitting directly behind him. "Bob? I didn't think you could collect pure souls."
"You're not fooling anyone you know. I saw it when you were talking to Dr. Dorian's daughter. All it'll take is one thing to put you over the edge and you'll be breaking down like everyone else in this place."
"Bob do you have to do this on today of all days?"
"Now would anyone like to say a few words?"
A few of JD's intern's came up and said a few words about what a great teacher… one even used the word MENTOR to describe JD. Then Turk of course, the man was a fountain talking about his beloved "Vanilla Bear". Dan and Carla also said a few words while Elliot sobbed holding her daughter and Carla's son on her lap.
The service flew by before everyone was getting ready to leave for the graveyard. People were filing out of the funeral home slowly all taking the time to give Elliot, Dan and Turk their condolences.
That just left Perry and Bob. "Are you just going to sit there?"
"You know I'm old. I need someone to help me up."
"You're only 6000 years old Bobbo you're fine."
"Why are you still here?"
"I'm waiting for everyone to leave."
Kelso got up from his seat and patted him on the shoulder. "Perry, I know we haven't exactly gotten along-"
"Understatement."
"I know you're hurting and if you don't say goodbye to Dr. Dorian it won't get any better." With that he slowly walked out of the room leaving Perry staring up at the empty casket.
He took a deep breath before finally getting up and ever so slowly making his way to the casket. Perry couldn't help but notice how peaceful the kid looked and thought that maybe he was just off in his own little fantasy realm. He stood there staring for a long time at this man who at looked to him for guidance, who thought of him as a father figure and hell even a superhero. He looked around the room making sure no one could see or hear him before turning his attention back to JD.
"I feel absolutely ridiculous doing this Claudia so you'd better be for real here. You knew I never hated you, hell I've told you that on a few occasions." He paused and shrugged. "Okay so maybe this is the first time I've said it when I haven't had half a bottle of Johnny Walker in me, but I mean it Newbie. I've told you before I was proud of you, yet for whatever reason you kept pushing to hear it come out of me more. Honestly I've said it to you more times than my dad ever said it to me so you should've been happy. And I know where ever you are, if you are anywhere, you're screaming 'are you gonna miss me?' at the top of your lungs."
Perry stopped and took a deep breath looking down at his shoes. He didn't look up at the casket. "Yeah I will miss you. I'll miss how you always try to be a hard ass when I'm being stubborn about something at the hospital. And hell, I'll even miss it when you tilt your head and go off into fantasy-land." He looked up at the casket fighting back tears. "Goodbye JD."
He skipped the burial and headed straight to the bar. Drowning his sorrow in alcohol so he could go back to being mean and pissy Dr. Cox the next morning sounded like a good plan to him. And it was going good until JD's friends silently filed one by one into the bar.
Carla chose a table not far away from Perry. "I wish Elliot could've come."
"It was a good idea to let her babysit." Turk waved his hand as Dan entered the bar. "All those kids around'll keep her mind off of missing JD for a little while."
Perry could imagine Elliot surrounded by kids acting so sickeningly happy and sweet one would think she was planning on kidnapping the group of kids and raising them on an island somewhere. "Wouldn't surprise me at all." He saw out of the corner of his eye that a bar maid walked by with a tray full of appletinis. Dear God he was still drinking those things?
Janitor sat down at the table shocking everyone. "I felt a little sad and decided to hang out with you guys."
"Dr. Cox?" Carla had turned around in her chair to face the older doctor. "You wanna join us?"
"No thank you Carla."
"Come on Coxy."
"I said no Captain Bubblebeard."
"I'm out of the tub, it's Dan now."
"Yeah don't care."
Turk raised the incredibly girly drink up in the air. "To my Vanilla Bear." Everyone followed raising there glasses.
"To Bambi."
"To Johnny."
"To Scooter."
They clinked their glasses together and downed the drinks before staying in silence for a little while. Perry listened in on the conversation once they felt the moment of silence was over.
"So Chris what was the plan you two had when you got to heaven?"
"We're meeting at the milkshake pool near the-" Turk looked nervously over at his wife. "The special cloud."
"I know about the lesbian cloud Turk."
The Janitor shook his head. "I don't think he's in Heaven. I believe he's been reincarnated. It's part of my religious beliefs."
Carla looked at him puzzled. "I thought you were part of the Norse Religion."
"No I'm Buddhist. And we believe that a soul gets reborn so they can learn lessons and eventually they reach Nirvana."
Perry just rolled his eyes. He wasn't sure Heaven existed but he sure as hell didn't believe that Newbie was going to end up being reincarnated. "Alright I've had enough of the Theology discussion. I'll see you all at work tomorrow." He threw his money up on the counter.
It was only when Perry was in the sanctuary of his apartment did he finally let a few tears slip out.
*------xxx---xxx
Ended on a sad note huh? Actually this whole fic is kinda on the sad side.
The next chapter just to let you know is jumping ahead a whole year.