Warcraft: How to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

It was a bright sunny day in the gardens of Quel'thalas when Kael'thas Sunstrider was approached by one of his fellow mages. "Hey Kael, no one likes you." said the Kel'thuzad as he teleported in, prompting a stunned look from the blonde elf.

"What the hell!" said Kael. "What kind of person just walks up to someone and says that out of the blue."

"The kind who's a rebel, and doesn't give a damn what other people think of his work." replied Kel'thuzad bluntly "But seriously man, everybody hates you."

"What are you talking about?" said Kael "I have plenty of friends."

"Oh really?" asked Kel'thuzad skeptically "Alright then, what's your zombie plan?"

"My what?" asked Kael incredulously.

"Your zombie plan." said Kel'thuzad in a matter of fact tone "Every ruler worth his salt has to have a plan for what they will when the undead eventually tries to wipe out his homeland. So what is yours?"

"Nobody does that!" said the Elf Prince.

"Actually yes they do." said another voice, and Kael turned to see the Lord Antonidas approaching "In my zombie plan I'm going to create a magical force field that will destroy any undead who walk into it." continued Antonidas, ignoring Kael "That way I can hole up in Dalaran with a lot of canned food and just kill them as they come."

"Oh come on." said Kael "This whole subject is just-"

But before he could finish Antonidas glanced down to see his apprentice, Jaina approaching from below.

"Hello child, are you still doing that flee Kalimdor plan?" he called.

"Of course." said the Young Sorceress, glancing up at her master "When the undead try to walk across the ocean, they'll be crushed by massive underwater pressure. Even if they do make a fleet I'll have plenty of time to sink it, and that's assuming they make it past the Maelstrom." she paused "Are you still planning to use that shield spell thing?"

"You know it." said the mage proudly.

"It'll never work Antonidas." came a new, baritone voice, and Kael turned to see Arthas Menethil approaching. "A spell like that will only be usable over a couple of miles tops. They'll just swarm you until you can't support the shield anymore. Undead are well documented in their indifference to taking casualties."

"I think it's a great plan." chimed in Kel'thuzad, promptly a glance from Arthas.

"And I suppose your in on it, are you?"

"Of course not." said Kel'thuzad "I've got my own plan, and before you ask, no, I'm not talking about it. What if I have to fight you at some point?"

"Fair enough, I suppose." mused Arthas, before Kael'thas finally could take it no more.

"Prince Arthas," Kael said "Surely you aren't wasting your time making one of these 'Zombie plan' things?"

"What are you kidding?" asked Arthas with a wry smile "Of course not."

"See!" said Kael triumphantly "As I said-"

"I have twenty seven Zombie plans." continued the Prince, prompting a stunned silence.

"Wow." said Jaina "Now that is preperation. I am seriously impressed Arthas. What are they?"

"Well, in the first twenty six of them are based around one central principle, I burn the source of infection, and then kill off the Necromancers creating them. By doing this I will cut off the source of the problem, and can work to finish off the rest of them gradually."

"What's the twenty seventh?" asked Antonidas, sounding rather interested.

"Oh, that." replied Arthas with a chuckle "Well, the twenty seventh is a plan I set in place in case I ended up join the forces of darkness. I don't think I should tell you that one though, security reasons, you know."

"Perfectly understandable." said Kel'thuzad, nodding politely.

"You people are insane!" yelled Kael at his wits end. "With all the problems firmly grounded in reality, you're making plans for what to do in case of a Zombie apocalypse! It's a complete and total waste of time!"

"Oh sure you say that now." said Arthas in a chiding "But I'll bet you ten gold that you'll regret that stance later, when the forces of darkness overwhelm Quel'thalas and leave it a smoking ruin."

"Your on Arthas." said Kael, not one to back down from a challenge. "I won't."

Several years later:

Northrend:

"These elves are pathetic." said the new Champion of the Undead Scourge, Arthas Menethil as he walked amidst the bodies of countless elven warriors. "It's no wonder we destroyed their ancient homeland so easily."

"Pity I wasn't there to stop you." came a voice of bitter hatred, as Kael'thas appeared before Arthas, his red robes ragged from battle and a flaming sword clutched in one hand.

There was a pause in which they stared each other down.

"You owe me ten gold." said Arthas after a moment.

"Fuck you!"

Authors note:

Okay, just another random one-shot. This one was inspired by a Red vs Blue PSA. Please review.