Makai
Disclaimer: I still don't own anything but Maddie...WON'T MAKE SENSE WITHOUT READING: A HUI HOU, AND MALIHINI! PLEASE READ THEM FIRST! ^_^
''Sinclair!'' Porter called, waving her over.
Maddie nodded to her team, and joined the Commander at his desk.
''Sir?'' She stood straight, with her hands clasped behind her back.
''You are going into a very dangerous situation. You do what you can to get your team out alive. Understood?'' Porter ordered.
Maddie nodded once, ''Yes Sir.''
As she saluted, and turned to leave, Porter surprised her by adding, ''Good luck.''
''Thank you, Sir.''
She caught up with her team on the flight pad.
''You guys ready?'' She shouted over the noise of the chopper.
Mason, Logan, and Grady nodded, and saluted.
They got into place on the chopper; Mason in front, Maddie and Logan by the sides ready for the jump and Grady ready take out any threat.
''Take her up, Mason.'' Maddie ordered.
The chopped lifted off, taking them out to sea.
A SEAL team had taken heavy fire, in a co-ordinated water attack, and were now stranded in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
It was their job to airlift the surviours to safety. An easy job really, considering that just last week they had been removing troops from a very active war-zone.
Afghanistan. If Maddie had even been afraid on the job, it had been then.
She hadn't been afraid for herself, but for her team. They had families back home, she didn't. Not since her father had died last year.
That had been the first time she had been back home to Hawaii, since she completed her training 8 years ago. She and her father had, had a big argument about her desision to enlist.
So when she left, she had left for good.
Maddie didn't regret her choice to join the Navy, but she did regret not visiting her father more.
''We're 5 minutes out!'' Logan announced.
Maddie's thoughts snapped back to the present, she rasied her voice so that Mason could hear her.
''Okay, this is an 'in and out' mission! No unnecessary risks. We get these men out, and we get them out quickly. Got it?''
A chorus of 'Yes, Ma'am' followed her speech.
''I see 'em!'' Mason called.
Looking out of the side of the chopper, Maddie saw the ship. It was only small; only used to bring soilders home.
On board were 7 SEAL's, the crew, and a General. Half of the crew were dead on deck, as they could see as the got closer.
''Logan! You with me?'' Maddie asked, clipping her rope on to her belt.
''Hell yeah!'' Logan replied, grinning.
Maddie smiled at him, ''Then let's go!''
With that, she jumped out of the chopper. Logan following seconds later.
The rope slowed them down, assuring they landed on their feet on the deck.
Seconds later they were surrounds by 3 very pissed off, very murderous looking SEAL's.
Raising her hands slowly, she reached into her chest pocket, pulling out her ID. Beside her, Logan did the same. ''Who's in charge here?'' Madde asked.
The guy in front of her answered with a grim, ''The Commander took a shot to the right leg, and the left shoulder. He's in the cabin.''
Maddie stepped forward, ''Show me.''
The Lieutenant nodded and turned around, heading for a door several feet away.
''Logan, start the evac, I'll see what I can do for the Commander.'' Maddie said, before following the Lieutenant.
''The rest of the team?'' Maddie asked, quietly.
He shook his head, ''They didn't make it.''
''I'm sorry.'' She said, sincerely.
He gestured to the door on the left, ''He's in there. I have to go help the guys.''
Maddie nodded, and went inside, already pulling her pack off of her shoulder.
All she could see upon entering was a boot, peeking out from behind an over-turned table. Moving cautiously, so as to not spook him, she moved forward.
As she shifted the table out of the way, she saw the Commander for the first time.
Her stomach dropped, and her heart started beating wildly.
''Steve?'' She breathed, dropping down to check for a pulse.
She found one; it was strong, but erratic.
Suddenly, her wrist was caught in an iron tight grip.
Maddie's eyes shot to Steve's face. His eyes were wide open, but infocused. He had a gash on his forehead, so she figured he had a concussion.
''It's okay, I'm here to help.'' Maddie said, calmly.
She doubted he would recognise her in the state he was in.
''My..team..'' He gasped. Maddie checked his ribs; at least two breaks. From his shallow breathing, one must have punctured a lung.
''My team has them. They're helping them. Now let me help you.'' Maddie said.
Steve nodded, closing his eyes.
Holding a small gauze to his head, she ripped off some tape, ''Commander, open your eyes for me.''
Steve's eyelids flickered, but didn't open.
''Damn...'' She muttered, as she ripped open his shirt.
The shoulder hit was through and through, so she applied a temporary bandage, and moved on to his leg.
The bullet was still in there, but it was too close to the femoral artery.
She had to get it out, before they could move him.
If the bullet moved and hit the artery, Steve would bleed out before she could stop it.
Taking out everything that she would need, she poured a flask of whiskey over the wound and her hands.
Steve groaned, as the alcohol burned; that was good. He was reacting to the pain. Meaning he could still feel his leg.
Tearing a hole in the material over his thigh, she called for Logan over her radio.
Maddie was the chief EMT for the team, Logan was her second.
A moment later he entered the cabin, ''Hold him down.'' Maddie ordered, immediately.
Logan didn't even hesitate, he just braced Steve's shoulders.
Readying the forceps, she went in after the bullet.
A cry of pain erupted from Steve, though it was quickly muffled, by him clamping his lips together.
Maddie tried not to flinch.
She was causing him pain. Again.
And she hated herself for it.
H50H50H50H50
Pain, was the first thing that came upon waking, for Steve.
Second was the memories. His eyes snapped open, as he tried to sit-up.
''Oh no you don't.'' Someone said, pushing him back down.
He knew that voice...
''Maddie?'' He asked, confused.
''Hey...'' Maddie answered, gently.
Blinking furiously to clear his vision, he tried to make his dry throat form words.
''My...team!'' She scopped up some ice-chips, and brought them to his mouth. Steve let them melt, before swallowing.
''My-''
''They're down the hall, getting checked over. They can come and see you when they're finished.'' Maddie said, quickly.
''What happened?'' Steve asked, frustrated.
Maddie sighed, ''What's the last thing you remember?''
Steve frowned, trying to think back through the haze around his mind.
''We were coming back to base. Then we were attacked...I remember being shot, and seeing-''
The heart moniter spiked, Maddie looked at it in alarm.
''Steve try and stay calm...'' She said.
''How many?'' He demanded.
She could tell by the look on his face, exactly what he meant.
''Three...'' She whispered, sadly.
''Who?''
''Harris, Jones and Ellis.'' She replied, softly.
Steve slumped back against the pillows. ''I should've-''
''No.'' Maddie said.
He looked at her, ''No?''
''No, you couldn't have known, you couldn't have stopped it, you couldn't have protected them any better than you did.''
He glared at her, ''What are you doing here?''
This time she couldn't help but flinch, at the accusatory tone in his voice.
''I work here.'' She knew that wasn't what he meant, but she wasn't ready for that conversation yet.
''Where is 'here' anyway?''
''The Naval base the ship was heading too. You're in the hospital ward, obviously.'' Maddie told him.
''I want to see my men.'' He stated, trying to get up again.
''Steve don't-'' Maddie said, placing a hand on his arm.
''Don't touch me.'' He growled, shaking off her hand.
Tears threatened to take over then, so she stood up and turned away.
''If you get out of that bed, you will do even more damage to your leg.'' She managed to get out.
''I don't care. I need to see them.'' He snapped.
Turning back to face him, ''Fine. Stay here.''
With that she walked out, heading down the hall to where they were sitting with the doctors.
She knocked on the door, letting them know she was there.
''The Commander's awake. He wants to see you.'' She said, formally.
She wouldn't be the one to tell them she knew Steve.
They nodded and started to put their shirts back on, Maddie made her way back to Steve's room.
He was still trying to get up.
''I won't tell you again McGarrett. Lay down.'' Maddie growled, angrily.
He just glared at her again.
''I can give you a sedative, if you would prefer...'' She said, feeling sick to her stomach that it had come to this.
''Are you giving your saviour a hard time, Smoothdog?'' One of the SEAL's said, as he walked into the room.
Smoothdog?
Maddie raised her eyebrows at Steve.
''Saviour?'' Steve repeated, glancing at Maddie.
''What she didn't tell you?'' The guy said.
Steve shook his head.
''Her team's the one that got us out of there. She saved your leg, that's for damn sure...''
Maddie was staring at the floor by now, her hands in her pockets.
''Maddie?'' Steve said, his voice a little warmer this time.
''Wait you know each other?'' Another guy said.
Steve opened his mouth to answer, but stopped and looked at her again.
''Not anymore...'' She said, her eyes still on Steve.
For a second it was like staring at the teenage Steve; her best friend...lover and just about everything else.
She could see the pain her words caused him in his eyes, but she didn't say anything else, just turned around and left.
H50H50H50H50
Logan found her a couple of hours later, sitting outside of the airstrip.
''Hey...'' He greeted, softly. They had worked together since the start of their careers, so he knew when something was wrong.
''Hi...'' Maddie replied, glumly.
''That guy, McGarrett, he's the one you told me about?'' Logan asked.
'Yup.'' She answered, popping the P.
Logan nodded, thoughtfully, ''Have you spoke to him?''
''Nope.''
''Are you going too?''
Maddie shook her head, ''I have no idea...''
Logan watched her, as she stared out at the dark sky.
Her eyes had dark bruises underneath, and she was pale, opposed to her usual slightly tanned self. She looked utterly miserable.
''You should definitly talk to him.'' Logan told her, firmly.
Her face turned towards him, ''You really think so?''
''Maddie you look horrible.'' She chuckled, slightly at his choice of words. ''You obviously still care about him.''
''Do you still love him?'' He added.
Maddie returned her gaze to the sky, and sighed, ''Completely.''
Logan decided to back off for now, ''Melanie, asked me to make you come for dinner this weekend.''
Maddie laughed slightly, ''That would be nice. Thanks.''
Logan nodded, and mock punched her on the arm, ''Good because Sammy loves spending time with you...''
Sammy was her godson; They had been finishing up on a mission, when Melanie went into labour, and Maddie had made sure Logan didn't miss the birth. With that and their friendship, Maddie had been the obvious choice.
''How is he?'' Maddie asked, smiling.
''Good. He keeps growing.'' Maddie laughed again; Sammy was only 2 years old, and was always up and moving around.
''I can't wait...'' Maddie sighed, smiling at Logan.
H50H50H50H50H50
The next morning Steve had another session of physical therapy for his leg. He wouldn't be cleared for duty until he was completely healed.
Nick had been hit in the arm, and had to do a couple of sessions, but Steve was in it for the long haul.
After Maddie had left, Nick had filled him in on everything Maddie and her team had done.
The last time he had seen her, she had said she didn't know what she wanted to do.
Then just after finishing his training, he gotten a call from Maddie telling him that she was enlisting, and she just wanted to tell him 'Good Luck'. That had been the last contact he'd had with her.
That was eight years ago.
It had been almost three weeks since the attack, and he had yet to see Maddie again.
He wanted to thank her for helping his men and himself, but no matter where he looked, she wasn't there.
So instead he concentrated on getting his leg to do what he told it, so he could get back out in the field.
Putting all his strength into the PT, he was always exhausted, but it was worth it when he started to see the improvement.
''A few more weeks, and you'll be cleared to get back to work, Commander.'' Louise, the physiotherapist said, with a smile.
''Good. He needs to shoot something...'' Nick said, as he walked into the gum.
Steve rolled his eyes at Nick, and smiled at Louise, ''Thank you.''
She nodded and went over to help another patient.
''What would you say, if I told you that I had been given some information, on a certain someone who just happened to be exactly who you were thinking about when I came in?'' Nick said, grinning.
Steve stared at him for a few moments, trying to figure out the convoluted question so he could answer it.
He gave up, ''I would say, 'tell me or I will shoot you'.''
Steve matched Nicks' grin as he said, letting him know he was only joking.
''Okay Smoothdog, here goes. That woman you're sweet on, happens to be on the airstrip right now...''
Steve was already moving, he headed for the door, barely bothered by the slight limp. It would be gone after a few more sessions.
Nick kept pace beside him, but didn't say anything else.
Steve hoped he didn't miss her. He had to say what he needed to say before he left.
After all there was a chance he would never see her again.
H50H50H50H50H50
She waved to her team, as the chopper lifted off. She wasn't going today because, she had a meeting with Porter.
Now that Steve had both legs working again, he was stood on the airstrip a few feet behind her with the other 3 SEAL's. She had seen him walk out of the door, a few minutes ago, but hadn't acknowledged him yet. She still hadn't figured out what she would say to him when the time came. But Logan was right; she did need to clear some things up.
Just as she started to turn away, she heard it.
The emergency alarm, in the chopper.
Her head whipped back in that direction; from her place on the ground, she could just make out Logan shouting orders, Mason trying to bring the chopper down safely, and Grady grabbing the parachutes.
But it was too late, they didn't have time to use them.
Maddie met Logans eyes, as he saluted to her.
Then the chopper exploded.
''NOOO!'' Maddie screamed.
Steve grabbed the tops of her arms, as she started forward.
He held her as she fought to get to them.
''They're gone...Maddie, I'm sorry, but they're gone.'' He said, gravely into her ear.
''No! I have to get to them...LOGAN!'' She tried again, in vain to break away from Steve.
From the chopper, another explosion destroyed what was left.
The blast knocked them off of their feet; Maddie landed on Steve, her head on his chest.
He didn't try to get up, just held her while she cried.
H50H50H50H50H50
Steve had never seen Maddie so angry.
She was shouting at Porter, that something wasn't right, that choppers didn't just blow up.
If she hadn't had such a good reason for talking to a senior officer, like she was doing, she would have been severely punished.
But Porter seemed to agree with everything she said.
It had been 28 hours exactly since the chopper went down, and Maddie hadn't said a word to Steve since.
He had never been good with words, or feelings, but now as a SEAL, he was even worse. Steve wanted to help Maddie, anyway he could, but just didn't know how.
''I have already ordered for an investigation to be carried out. We will have results by 17:00 hours tomorrow.'' Porter said, glancing at his watch.
''You should rest. You're going to need your strength.'' Porter added, with a touch of sympathy.
Tomorrow she would be meeting with her teams families.
He knew what it was like to lose a team, and to see it happen to someone so young...it broke through his tough exterior.
Maddie nodded, tiredly and left.
Steve followed her; he knew, she knew he was there, but she didn't stop and tell him to leave her alone. Steve took that as a good sign and stayed with her all the way to her room.
''Are you coming in?'' Maddie asked, quietly as she unlocked the door.
''Yes.'' Steve answered. She nodded, and went inside leaving the door wide open.
The room was simple Navy issue to anyone who stayed on base; a bed, a desk and a tiny en-suite bathroom.
''Is this the part where you tell me, that it wasn't my fault?'' Maddie questioned, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
Steve flinched; that was exactly what he had been planning to say.
''Maddie-''
''Because if it is, don't bother. I should've have been on that chopper. I should've have been with them.'' She added, blankly.
Steve sighed internally, and sat down next to her.
''Let go...'' He said, softly. Steve recalled the painful memories that those words evoked.
Maddie looked at him, staring straight through all the crap that surrounded him like a veil, and something in her eyes changed.
Suddenly she was Maddie, his best friend again, instead of the time-hardened soldier.
She rested her head against his shoulder, and let go.
H50H5H0H50H50H50
They were laid on Maddie's bed in silence. Maddie had cried herself to sleep sometime before and Steve was watching the peaceful expression on her face.
He knew it wouldn't last. When she woke up, the realization that her friends and team were gone, would hit her, and she would break down again.
Steve tried to form a plan of action on how to help her, but the only thing that would make it better would be to bring them back.
But even he wasn't that good.
All he could do was be here for her. At least until they shipped him out again.
After that he had no clue.
H50H50H50H50H50
Maddie had left over four hours ago, to go and see the families.
Steve was waiting for her in her room, just like they had arranged. He understood why she was late, but would be lying if he said he wasn't worried.
When he had met with his lost team members families, he and Nick had gotten drunk for the first time in months. It hadn't helped anything, it just made him feel even worse in the morning.
His thoughts were cut short as the door opened, and a tired looking Maddie walked in.
''Hey...'' He said, softly.
Maddie stopped and looked at him, slowly she moved towards him and put her arms around his chest, holding him tightly.
She hadn't done that since her own mothers death.
Steve hugged her back, staying quiet because he knew that was what she needed right then.
A few minutes later, she let go and sat down on the bed.
''Is there anything I can do?'' Steve asked, awkwardly.
Even he, with zero social skills, knew that it was a stupid question.
''You're already doing it...''
At his blank look, she continued, ''You're here.''
He joined her on the bed, putting his arm around her shoulders.
''I'm sorry.'' She whispered.
He was getting seriously worried now; she wasn't making any sense. What did she have to be sorry about?
''What for?'' He asked, needing the clarification.
Steve saw a tear make it's way slowly down her cheek.
''For not being there for you...''
All of the feelings he thought were buried deep, came rising to the surface. But he pushed them down; now was about Maddie, not him.
His arm tightened around her, as she looked up, he smiled slightly letting her know he wasn't mad.
Only just like when they were kids, he couldn't look away.
Maddie was stuck in his eyes again, she couldn't tear her gaze away, and deep down she knew she didn't want too.
But nothing could happen. Because then the last 10 years would have been for nothing.
All the pain and suffering, and heartbreak would come back again in full force. And she didn't think she would survive it again.
Though even now, after all those years, the pull was still there. The thin line of something that connected them, had done since the first time they had kissed.
It was still there, tugging her towards him.
As they leaned in, she whispered the words that had been her un-doing; ''I surrender.''
H50H50H50H50H50
She kept her eyes closed, but she wasn't asleep. Maddie wasn't sure if Steve was or not, but didn't want to talk, so she stayed still and carried on with her facade.
They had slept together. Again.
Maddie knew she should regret it, but she couldn't bring herself too. It was what she had wanted since the last time she had seen him.
To be held by him, hear her name whispered by him, have him tell her how beautiful she was...she wanted him.
She was past caring about the pain that this would cause her when he left again; she had already lost everyone else, she was going to hold on to Steve for as long as possible.
''I know you're awake...'' Steve breathed, behind her. His breath ruffled her hair, and she could feel the rumble of his voice, against her back.
''Am not...'' She tried, weakly.
Steve watched as her eyes opened, but she didn't look at him. Worry gnawed at him.
''Do you regret it?'' He asked, involuntarily. He clenched his teeth after saying the words, feeling like an idiot.
She turned her face towards him, ''Not even a little bit. You?''
Relief washed over him, making him smile.
''Nope.'' He said, simply.
He knew it was wrong; he would be leaving soon, it wasn't fair on either of them to do this again.
''What now?'' She asked, sounding very young in that moment.
Steve brushed a strand of hair from her face, ''I don't know...''
''Wow, Super SEAL doesn't know something...I'm shocked.'' She joked, badly.
Steve could help but chuckle at the effort though.
''I lea-'' He started, seriously.
But before he could finish, Maddie touched his face and pressed her lips against his.
''Not tonight. No talking about leaving, or goodbyes, not now. Just...be here.'' She whispered.
He kissed her neck, ''I can do that...''
Maddie sighed in pleasure, as his tender kisses moved up along her jaw, across her cheek, to her lips.
''Steve?''
''Yeah...?''
''I need...'' She trailed off, taking a deep breath.
He waited for her to continue, his mind running through all the possible conclusions of that sentence.
''I need you to tell me, that you forgive me.'' Maddie voice's broke on the last word.
Steve stilled, ''For what?'' He said, cautiously. That hadn't been on his list.
He felt a drop of wetness on his arm. He wiped a thumb across her cheeks, getting rid of the offending tears.
''For ruining everything.''
''Maddie, what are you talking about? You haven't ruined anything.'' Steve was starting to get a very bad feeling about this conversation.
She propped herself up on her elbow, and looked at him intently.
''I did. I just couldn't do it again...it hurt...so much.'' She sobbed.
Oh God...had he hurt her?
''Do what?'' He asked, gently.
''Say goodbye...'' The tears were streaming down her face, and her bottom lip was trembling.
Steve sat up, pulling her up with him, and clutched her to his chest.
After losing her team, her friends, he knew she would be hurting and all the feelings from before would coming back to her, just like they were for him.
''That's why you didn't come back...'' Steve realized.
Maddie nodded, ''I wanted too, I wanted to see you. But I couldn't Steve, I wasn't strong enough. I still aren't, but after so long, I just need to be with you, while I can.''
Steve didn't know what to say; he had always thought that she regretted sleeping with him, and hadn't wanted anything more to do with him. But after tonight, that had changed, and now she was telling him all of this?
Maddie pushed against his chest, so she could see his face, ''I'm so, so sorry...''
''Don't be. We all make mistakes...'' Steve muttered, into her hair.
All of the training he had recieved, and he was powerless in this situation. He had been trained to keep his emotions hidden, that way they couldn't get you killed. But with Maddie, all of that went out of the window.
He could never be anything other than Steve with her.
Maddie cried until her eyes ran dry, and she was leaning into Steve completely. She wanted nothing more than to stay exactly like that forever, but they both had responsibilities.
They had to move at some point, but for now they laid down, and enjoyed what little time they had left.
H50H50H50H50H50
''A bomb?'' Maddie repeated, numbly.
''Yes, they found remnants of the metal casting in the debris, but nothing they can use to trace where it came from.'' Porter said, gravely.
Someone had murdered three of his men, and he was powerless to find out who.
Maddie shook her head, ''So what do we do now? We can't just let them get away with it!''
Porter looked her over, ''I know. I will have them keep searching for anything that might help. Until such a time arises, I am transferring you. Effective immediately.''
Maddie stomach fell through the floor, ''Where?''
He stood and came to stand in front of her, ''Hawaii.''
''You're sending me home.'' She stated, calmly.
''Yes. Your flight leaves tonight.'' Porter said.
Tonight. Another goodbye...
''But the investigation...'' Maddie tried.
''I will let you know if we find anything.''
He had her there. There was nothing she could do to change his mind, so went back to her room and slammed the door behind her.
Half an hour later, someone knocked on the door.
Opening it, she found Steve standing there looking furious, she gestured for him to come inside.
''Is it true?'' He demanded.
Maddie's shoulders sagged, ''Yeah...''
He ran a hand down his face, ''Tonight?''
''Yeah...'' She repeated.
He sat down heavily on the bed.
''Another goodbye then.'' He muttered to himself, so Maddie couldn't hear.
''Promise me something...'' Maddie asked.
He looked at her, ''What?''
''Let's not lose each other again, like the last time.'' She said, her voice wavering.
He nodded, ''I promise.''
A call came over the intercom for Steve to report to the conference room. He stood and made his way to the door.
''Hey,'' Maddie said, putting a hand on his arm to stop him. ''You didn't promise...''
''I just said-''
Maddie stood on her tip-toes, and kissed him fiercely. Steve repaid in kind.
''Now you promised...'' She said, breathing heavily.
''What time do you leave?'' He asked.
''7pm.''
He leaned down to her ear, ''Then I'll be back as soon as possible.''
Maddie laughed and pushed him out of the door, ''I'll be here waiting...'' She said.
Neither of them mentioned the unspoken, 'For now...' at the end of that sentence.
They didn't need to.
They both knew another goodbye was just around the corner...
The End...For Now.
*Makai = Towards The Ocean
More from Steve and Maddie to follow shortly! Hope you liked this, please leave a review! In the next fic, we will be getting flashbacks into those 10 years...so don't worry! Questions will also be answered in relation to the chopper explosion. ;)