I could see him staring at her in the distance. If I looked hard enough, I'm sure I could see her staring at him too. It kills me a little, to see them so deep in love and so many miles apart.
There have been many times I had to ignore Sokka calling her name in his sleep. He never talks about her, so I had to learn about her sacrifice from someone else. That wasn't easy either, no one seemed to want to talk about it. Toph didn't know, Aang teared up, Zuko slumped his shoulders and walked off, and Katara just looked sad. She had tried to walk away, but I cornered her.
She was convinced for a while that Yue would be her sister in law. That after the war she would return to the North Pole with Aang after Sokka and Yue married. Apparently Yue's father was never one for arranged marriages, and would have approved if Sokka asked his permission. But it never came to be. She left her human body in place of Tui.
I could never live up to that legacy. I try to be a strong leader and warrior for my Kyoshi tribe. But would I give up everything? My father, my people, my first love? Katara tries to tell me that it's for the best. That the water benders needed her and the war wouldn't have been able to end without her. But is that what's best for Sokka?
That probably sounds bad. Like I care more for what is best for him than the rest of the world. I've left his side twice before, a third would absolutely destroy me. I don't know if I'd be strong enough to leave him knowing it would be the last time. He's brave and proud, but we all know he needs someone to look out for him. It's always been Katara, but she has Aang to think about. Yue is in the sky looking out for her people. Now it's my duty to care for the man stronger than he thinks he is.
Katara and Aang say that The Moon and The Ocean are soulmates, that Tui, or should I say Yue, and La are in an eternal dance of love and harmony. La may be her soulmate, and maybe I'm Sokka's, but that will never take away from being each others' first loves.
I finally found the courage to leave my tent to sit beside him. He noticed me, and for once, didn't try to hide what he was doing. He knows I know now, after that play back on Ember Island. He knows I'm too curious to leave it alone, that I would have found a way to find out what happened. I look up at the white circle in the sky and know it will never just be The Moon again. I'll always have to address her as Yue.
It's in this moment I'm suddenly aware of why I feel stronger at night, especially on the full moon. It's a strength that should be granted only to water benders, but an exception was made for me.
"She's beautiful," I say. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Sokka has tear stains on his cheeks.
"Yes, she is." He responds. He knows that's all that needs to be said. I'm not insecure enough to need reassurance that he loves me, or if he thinks I'm pretty too.
You'd think it'd be jealousy I felt towards her, and what she feels towards me. But what I feel for her admiration, and for that she provides me with more strength to provide for and protect him. She sees me as worthy, and in my weaker moments I've wondered if I truly am.
As Sokka takes my hand and leads me back to his tent, I understand why he never visits her. I overheard Aang one time say he was going to the Spirit World and asked Sokka if he wanted to see Yue. He turned him down, and it wasn't for me. It was for her. She made her choice to leave him, and he's respecting it.
If she ever wanted to see him, she could find a way. And I hope she knows if she needs a vessel, I'm available. But she wouldn't. She would never ask me to switch places with her, even if for just a few minutes. I can only hope that one day I am that strong.