Disclaimer: I'm not JKR, I'm a happy little person in my happy little world.
Author's note: I can't understand myself for wanting to post this, but why not? There are some weirder stories out there. It's just about what if Harry wanted to write a FanFic (this is the product of not paying attention in health class. But who wants to lesson to a boring teacher go on and on about STDs when u already learned it all in 5th grade from an even MORE boring teacher? Lolx)
Note: This takes place during the summer of Harry's 6th year, only because I want it to be. And the charters are very slightly OOC, and talk more Ameircan-ish
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What If?
Harry looked around the room for a second, while listening to for the nothing-ness sound that Privet Drive always had. He put one foot on the step, and waited again. The Dursleys were out for the day, but that doesn't mean that Uncle Vernon wouldn't come back before he promised to 'check up on him' wouldn't come in at the worst moment and say 'I forgot my wallet."
But there was no noise or sign of his uncle's car coming back up the road. Harry shouldn't be expecting him for around five hours, since Vermon and Petunia took there 'baby Duddykins' school shopping, for some unknown reason, early.
The Dursleys have trusted him more lately, and Harry felt insecure with there trust. They just don't want to be bothered with me this summer Harry thought and that pleased him just fine.
He ran up the rest of the stairs, into Dudley's room, and flicked on the computer. When Harry and Ron went to visit Hermione a month before hand, Hermione started to teach them about muggle technology. Harry had been living with the muggles for ten or so years, but when Hermione started to talk he only then realized how deprived he was, with the 'cell phones' and she went into grave dealt about the 'computers' along with the 'Internet'. Yes, she got the boys hooked on surfing the web, and that day alone they had when to more sites then there truly are. One of those sites were Now when Hermione sees the word 'books' she goes crazy, and demands that the mouse be handed over to her, and she clicked on it. They were scrolling down and saw 'Harry Potter', the mouse got all excited and clicked on that as well.
Harry had known for a while that, as a way to make it up to him, the Daily Prophet was going to write his biography (some way of making up a year of lies). It was a shook that the books were so popular of the summer and were published so quickly. But to see it in the muggle world! That caused the three to run to the book story as fast as they could in order to read it.
"I can't understand why they got nearly everything wrong!" Hermione said as they flipped threw it. "They make Snape look, nice…"
"And they made Cho and mine's relationship look pathetic!"
Ron outrageously jumped, "They mad me look like a fool and a jerk, at the most award points of the book. Hermione in 4th year, was I really a jerk?"
Hermione shook her head, "That doesn't matter," Ron shot her a mean look, as she took his hand, "since after the new years of 4th year, we have been an insuperable couple! They didn't even mention that! It just makes us look like we have no idea what is going on with out emotions."
Harry found himself back on Hermione's computer, looking threw the FanFics (or so they were called). Harry could feel tears coming down his eyes, they were just to funny.
"Ron come here and look at this! Some crazy people think that me and Hermione are going to fall in love!"
"What! HARRY IF YOU EVER TOUCH HER I'LL KILL YOU!"
He backed away and held his hands, and yawned, "Chill, I like Susan, remember?"
"Oh, yea. Sorry mate,"
Hermione sighed dreamily, "Your so hot when your protective," and she leaned in and gave Ron a short kiss.
Ron turned to Harry, and mouthed, "If it makes her happy"
As the three read on they saw even more absurd looks on their own lives. Come on people, no matter how much fun it is to write them, who really believes that Malfoy and Harry will be a couple?
As a joke to themselves they each decided to write one of there own stories, just to see what the muggles would think of the truth. And it was at no reiscke since out of thousands of people how could they really pick out the real Harry, Ron and Hermione?
Harry had finished and posted it last week, and since the Dursleys' haven't been out long enough for him to go and check his e-mail, he was excited to so what the people thought.
He signed into his screen name (SnitchCatcher731) and saw 27 new messages.
25 of them were from fanfic, the other two were subscriptions to porno's (He saved those to for later)
Clicking excitedly on to it, Harry opened his first review, from 'PavementShinsLikeSiliver' which (disappointedly) read:
'I find you story very…interesting, but not one of the more realistic versions I have read. If your going to put such things like the plez next time, but it under 'humor' or warn the readers about the characters being so O.o.C'
The next one from Killersgroupiechick said:
" Are you insane? Maybe you have been sniffing too much floo powder, because I've read more convincing FF's of Harry and Snape then Harry and Susan! And how could you really think that Harry's fear is of Umbridge coming back into power! Don't you think it would be more of weither or not he would leave during the final battle? Get your priorities strait!
Harry looked threw the rest of them. And they all said nearly the same. But it was all real! How could they not see that Harry liked Susan bones, or that he did fear Umbrigde coming back to power.
He picked up his cell phone and speed-dialed Ron.
Ron picked up instantly, "Hel'o My Angel, sweetie, how are you?"
"Dude, it's Harry, don't scare me like that."
"Harry? Oh. Man, sorry, waiting for her to call me back. Damn I can't stop thinking of her-"
"I think you just scared me, much more then any killing curse. But never mind, did you read my story yet?"
"Yea, I thought it was very good. Nice swing with Snape being gay."
"He is. That's why he always hated my mum. Snape fancied my Dad."
"Did NOT need to hear that!"
"You think I wanted to? But that's not why I called. No one believes me, and how it should be under drama,"
"Its not like they know any better"
Harry took the phone away from his ear, and examined it for a minute before placing it back by his ear, "What do you mean?"
"Well you said it yourself, it's not like they know that you are the Harry Potter."
"Your right. They wouldn't believe me if I said so" the two boys laughed, not so much at there selves, but out of the others stupidity.
!End!
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Well? That was horrible, but its true, according to me (and my wild imagination) they could be real, and warning us all about the what's going to happen in the next 2 books, and we wouldn't know because it IS only a story. Gives everything a twisted look on things huh?
U know what to do (HINT! It has a little box-y thing that says 'Submit Review')