The Evil Groundhog
This is the funniest story ever!
by: Justine and Richelle.
disclaimer: we don't own anything, except the plot (which you are free to read and tell to your friends as much as you want! help us share the funniness!)
dedicated to: our friend Grace.
so feel free to tell this VERY FUNNY STORY to all of your friends! It will make you laugh, guaranteed.
(Note: This story sounds funniest read out loud when you are in a very hyper mood! so go eat some sugar and read this story to your friends!)
Once upon a time there was a girl named Jes. Jes loved groundhogs! One day, she went to the animal shelter, and she adopted a groundhog!
"Say hello to Herbert!" said the animal shelter guy, and he gave her the groundhog.
"Oh, you are a cute little groundhog!" she squealed. Then she brought him home.
When she got home, she put her new pet groundhog in her backyard and they played fetch!
"Come get the stick, Herbert!" she said, waving the stick in front of the groundhog. "Come get the stick! I'm gonna throw the stick on three! One… two… THREE!"
Then suddenly, the groundhog attacked her!
"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!" she screamed. The groundhog pulled her shoe off with his teeth, and he started foaming at the mouth! Then he scratched her leg.
"Herbert, stop!" she cried. Then, as quickly as she could, she ran into the house. The groundhog dug a hole in her backyard, and disappeared into nowhere.
After that, Jes hadn't seen the groundhog for days because the groundhog was busy recruiting an army of evil groundhogs.
But one day, when Jes was bored, Jes turned on the television, and she saw the news. And to her shock, she saw Herbert on TV with a bunch of other groundhogs, and they were attacking innocent people everywhere.
"Oh no!" she screamed. Then suddenly, she saw three short big-headed girls on the television.
"We're the Powerpuff Girls and we're here to save the day!" the girls said all together. "Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun!" Then the three girls attacked the groundhogs, but suddenly, the groundhogs that had rabies bit the Powerpuff girls in the legs. Suddenly, the girls started to foam at the mouth, and they became evil, too! And then they joined forces with the groundhogs, and started attacking innocent people, too!
"Oh no! Innocent people are being killed!" screamed Jes. But suddenly, a boy with a lightning shaped scar on his forehead, jet black hair, green eyes, black robes, and a wand in his hand appeared out of nowhere. And then two other people, one who had red hair and a girl who had bushy hair appeared. They both had robes, too.
"Oh my god! It's Harry Potter!" yelled Jes.
"Avada Kadavra", screamed the three wizard people. But the spell doesn't work on groundhogs, so it reflected in different directions.
"Oh no!" shouted Harry Potter, "What will we do now?"
Suddenly, a short little guy with a big nose who was wearing a lot of hats appeared out of thin air. "Dobby wants to help Harry Potter!" shouted the elf, and he turned into a giant octopus and started picking up the groundhogs and throwing them into the ocean.
"Hooray!" shouted Jes, who was still watching TV, "The evil groundhogs are gone! But what about the evil Powerpuff Girls?"
Suddenly a short, yellow, square dude with holes, a tall, blue guy with a big nose, and a star-shaped, pink guy in a bathing suit appeared. "Look, Squidward! Evil mutant jellyfish!" Spongebob said. Then he caught the Powerpuff Girls in his jellyfishing net and said, "These don't look like jellyfish after all! We should take them to a scientist who can tell us what they are!" So then Spongebob, Patrick, Squidward, Harry, Ron, Hermoine, and Dobby the giant octopus went to Bill Nye the Science Guy's Laboratory, but he wasn't there because he was a science convention. (The news people are still filming this.) So, they decided to go to more scientists' laboratories but they found that all the scientists were at the science convention. The only scientist left was a little boy with a big head called Dexter. On the way to Dexter's Lab, the group ran into Scooby and the gang.
"Like, Jinkies!" said Shaggy, "It's a sponge holding a net with three evil mutant bowling balls, a starfish, a squid, three dudes in weird robes, a bunch of news reporters, and a giant octopus!"
"Reah!" said Scooby, "Rand re rere rooking ror a ronster!"
So then Scooby and the gang joined the group going to Dexter's Lab.
On the way there, they ran into a guy with a weird green striped shirt and a blue dog. "Look at this, Blue! It's a sponge holding a net with three evil mutant pillows, a starfish, a squid, three dudes in weird robes, some people in outdated clothes, a talking dog, a bunch of news reporters, and a giant octopus! We just found a clue! I wonder what this means! Let's go think in the thinking chair!"
"Bow bu buppa buppa bow bow!" said Blue. ("How did I ever get stuck on such a retarded show?")
So then Blue and Steve joined the group going to Dexter's Lab.
On the way there, they ran into a teenage fly with pink hair named Maggie who was with her friend who was also a teenage fly who had blue hair named Rayna.
"Oh my god, like, look at this!" said Maggie, "It's a sponge holding a net with three evil mutant beetles, a starfish, a squid, three dudes in weird robes, some people in outdated clothes, a talking dog, a guy in a weird green striped shirt, another talking dog, a bunch of news reporters, and a giant octopus!" Then the talking teenage flies joined the group going to Dexter's Lab.
When the group finally got to Dexter's Lab, they saw a tall girl in pink with blond pigtails. "Ooooo, who are these people? A sponge holding a net with three evil mutant ponies, a starfish, a squid, three dudes in weird robes, some people in outdated clothes, a talking dog, a guy in a weird green striped shirt, another talking dog, two teenage flies with different colored hair, a bunch of news reporters, and a giant octopus!"
Then a short guy with a big head and glasses came into the room and yelled, "Deedee, get out of my laboratory!" Then Deedee started prancing around the room.
"What can I do for you people… and dogs… and flies… and sea creatures?"
"Well, I was wondering if you could identify these evil mutant jellyfish", said Spongebob.
"Like, you mean evil mutant bowling balls", said Shaggy.
"No, you mean evil mutant pillows", said Steve.
"Actually, like, they're evil mutant beetles", said Maggie.
"No, they're evil mutant ponies!", said Deedeee, and she continued prancing around the room.
"Hmm…" said Dexter, massaging his chin. "I see the problem. These are not jellyfish, or bowling balls, or pillows, or beetles, or ponies. They are…"
"THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!", said the three girls in the net. Then music came out of nowhere going, 'Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun'. And then Dexter says, "Hmm… it seems they have been bitten by evil mutant groundhogs. I have a simple cure that will bring them back to normal". Then Dexter opened a cabinet full of different chemicals, and took out a bottle that said 'Chemical Z'. He took the chemical Z and poured it on the Powerpuff Girls/jellyfish/bowling balls/pillows/beetles/ponies, and they turned back into the Powerpuff Girls, and they flew off to save innocent town people in the city of Townsville.
On the way there they saw a blonde big-haired dude with sunglasses walking on an empty street. He was singing, "I walk this empty street on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams; where the city sleeps and I'm the only one, I walk alone". And then he turned to the Powerpuff girls and said, "Hey, pretty mammas! Aren't you those evil mutant jellyfish/bowling balls/pillows/beetles/ponies that those people, dogs, flies, and sea creatures were carrying around?"
And then one of them said, "Yes, but we're really THE POWERPUFF GIRLS!" (And then music comes going 'Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun')
And then he said, "Cool! Wanna make out?"
"We're only little girls", the girls said, and they flew away.
Meanwhile, back at the laboratory, Dexter and the rest of the people, dogs, flies, and sea creatures decided to have a party since there was no point in having all of them there for no reason (the news reporters were still there).
"Let's invite more people!" said Shaggy. Then Shaggy picked up the phone and invited all the cartoon characters on Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, and Disney Channel.
One hour later, all the cartoon characters on Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, and Disney Channel, and some others were all in Dexter's Laboratory along with Harry, Ron, Hermione, the news reporters, and Dobby the giant octopus. All the characters were getting drunk and dancing around the lab. Daphne and Fred were in the closet playing seven minutes in heaven and Dexter was flirting with Velma. Then a guy with a weird hairdo and big muscles came flying through the sky going "KAHMAYHAHMAYHAAHHHHHH!"
"Jinkies, who's that?" Velma asked Dexter.
"Oh, that's just Vegetable Man from Dragonball Z. He just goes around fighting other guys and trying to find the Dragon Balls. You shouldn't be interested in him," said Dexter.
But then Velma left Dexter for Vegeta. "So, tell me about yourself," she said to him.
"I try to find the Dragon Balls to save the world. So far I have found Dragon Balls A through F and I have to find the rest. Dragon Ball Z is the most powerful; that's why they named the show after it."
"Wow," said Velma, "That's so awesome! The dragon sure has a lot of balls, though."
They continued flirting, and meanwhile, Dexter sat in chair thinking about Velma. Then he got an idea that he thought might get Velma to like him again. He looked at the karaoke machine microphone and he picked it up. Then he made a selection of the song he wanted to sing called "Incomplete" by The Backstreet Boys. Once the music starts playing, all eyes were on him. Then he sang, "I TRY TO GO ON LIKE I NEVER KNEW YOU! I'M AWAKE BUT MY WOLRD IS HALF ASLEEP! I PRAY FOR THIS HEART TO BE UNBROKEN BUT WITHOUT YOU ALL I'M GOING TO BE IS… INNNNCOMPLEEEETE!"
This made Velma feel really bad for leaving Dexter, but she liked Vegeta too. Just then Daphne came out of the closet with Fred and Velma asked her, "What should I do?"
Then Daphne said, "I never thought I'd say this, Velma, but you have more guys than you know what to do with!"
"But what should I do?" Velma asked.
"I don't know," said Daphne.
"I have an idea!" said Shaggy, who had just appeared, "You should go to Dr. Phil!"
So then Velma went over to Dr. Phil, who was at the party dancing with Judge Judy. "Dr. Phil, I have a problem!" she said.
"Hey, get away from my man!" said Judge Judy.
"But you already have a husband, five kids, and ten grandkids!" said Velma.
"How do you know?" asked Judge Judy.
"I'm your biggest fan! And besides, would it really be legal for you to be with Dr. Phil right now?" asked Velma.
"You're right," said Judge Judy, and she went to go dance with Mr. Sheidlin (her husband).
"Hey!" said Dr. Phil, "You made me lose my date!"
Then he and Velma started dancing.
(The news reporters were still getting this.)
Meanwhile, Dexter was still singing when he noticed Hermione standing alone. (Harry and Ron were dancing together and being gay. After all, they were drunk.) Dexter continued singing, and once he finished, he went by Hermione.
"Hello there", greeted Dexter. "Are you having a good time?"
"Not really, I'm afraid", said Hermione.
"Would you like to dance with me?"
"Well, I am a bit taller than you… actually, I'm a lot taller than you… but who cares?" And then Dexter and Hermione started dancing.
After Dexter's song had finished, a bunch of talking hamsters took the stage.
"I'm Hamtaro", said one of the hamsters. "And we're 'The Hamster Band'".
Then square dance music started playing and the hamsters sang, "Everybody do the Hamster Dance!" And the music went, "De de di die dedi do do, de die dedi do! De dit dittituterdie die dedi, de de didie do!" And then everyone started dancing.
When the hamsters stopped singing, Jimmy Neutron, Sheen, Carl, Cindy, and Libby took the stage. Carl held a voice-changing microphone and started singing, "Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu, Ma-ia-hoo, Ma-ia-haha! Ma-ia-hii, Ma-ia-huu, Ma-ia-hoo, Ma-ia-haha!" Then Jimmy, Sheen, and Carl held language-changing microphones, and Jimmy sang in Romanian. "Alo,Salut, sunt eu, un haiduc. Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea. Alo, alo, sunt eu Picasso,Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic, Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic." And then all the boys sang, "Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei, Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei. Chipul tau si dragostea din tei, Mi-amintesc de ochii tai." Cindy and Libby were dancing while the boys sang.
Meanwhile, Johnny Bravo was standing alone humming Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Then he saw Maggie the fly, who was watching her friend Rayna dance with Patrick the starfish. He walked over and said, "Hey, pretty fly mama," and they started dancing.
Meanwhile, Courage the cowardly dog was dancing with the lady who owns him, Muriel, and the man who owns him, Eustace, was standing alone, saying, "Stupid party, you make me look bad!" Then Judge Judy came over (her husband wasn't at the party), and they started dancing together.
Then Harry and Ron started singing karaoke to the song by Green Day, Holiday. When they finished, Ron came out of his gayness and saw Hermione dancing with Dexter. He marched over there and started yelling.
"What are you doing dancing with this short nerd?"
"Hey! He is not a nerd!" Hermione defended. "While you were acting all weird and gay, he asked me to dance. Is that so awful?"
"Nobody messes with my girl!"
"What! I am nobody's girl, Ron!"
Then Ron punched Dexter in the face, and broke his glasses.
"My glasses!" cried Dexter. "I can't see without my glasses!"
"Hey, that's my line!" said Velma, who was still dancing with Dr. Phil.
"Come on, computer nerd!" said Ron, holding up two fists. "Show me what you're made of!"
"Ron, please!" cried Hermione.
Suddenly, Ron and Dexter got into a fist fight, and everybody around them were yelling, "Fight, fight, fight…" Then Dexter started using his high-tech gadgets and Ron used his wand, and the fight got even more extreme.
Suddenly, Ron stopped for a second and said, "Wait… what are we fighting over again?"
"Me, you idiot!" Hermione yelled.
Then Dexter's laser gun's ray shot into Ron's chest and he got thrown back into the wall. Hermione ran over saying, "Oh, Ron! Are you alright?"
And then Ron said, "Yeah, I'm fine…" and then they gazed into each others' eyes and kissed. And then Dexter went back to singing Incomplete. Once he started singing, people threw tomatoes at him.
"Is that any way to deal with your problems?" yelled Dr. Phil, and threw a tomato at him.
And then Bugs Bunny, who was running away from Elmer, passed Dr. Phil and said, "Ehhh… What's up, Doc?"
And then Dr. Phil said, "Is that really how you want to deal with your problem? By running away from it?"
"Ehhh… Not really," said Bugs Bunny and he made a piano fall on Elmer's head.
"Hey!" said Dexter, who had been playing the piano while singing Incomplete.
Meanwhile, the news reporters were still getting this. "This is Triane, not Diane, Triane, with the news! Right now, we're in Dexter's Lab, filming a crazy pandemonium of a party of TV and book characters! Government officials are trying to prevent characters from adult shows from entering the scene so that things don't get even more out of hand!" said Triane the news reporter.
Suddenly, the door opened and in came a strange woman with purple hair and she held a makeup kit in her hand.
"PURPLE HAIR!" yelled Deedee.
"Who wants a free makeover?" said the purple haired lady. "You look like a likely candidate", pointing to Dexter. "Would you like a free makeover?"
"Uh… no" said Dexter.
"Good! Let's do it! We'll start with your hair, and then we'll give you some contact lenses, and… you don't happen to have growth pills, do you?"
"Yes! I invented them myself!" said Dexter.
"Perfect! Let's get started! Once I'm through with you, the girls in the room will be all over you!"
20 minutes later, Dexter was standing behind a curtain, while the purple haired lady stood in front of it ready to introduce Dexter's new and improved look.
"Okay guys… here's a picture of the old Dexter before… and now, here's Dexter after!" Then she pulled the curtain, and there stood a taller, blonde haired, blue eyed Dexter with chapped lips.
"Oh my god! It's Jesse McCartney!" yelled Deedee.
"No, its Dexter", said the purple haired lady. Then all the girls in the lab approached Dexter and started flirting with him.
"Dexter, I'm so sorry I betrayed you", said Velma. "Will you ever forgive me?"
"Hmm… let me think", he said while massaging his chin. "No! But I would like to dedicate a certain song to a certain girl in the room". Then Dexter took the karaoke microphone, and sang Beautiful Soul as a serenade to Hermione.
Hermione was confused. She didn't know which boy to choose.
After Dexter finished singing, Ron knew that he had to do something if he wanted Hermione to like him. So, he took the karaoke microphone and started singing Lonely. Alvin and the rest of the Chipmunks sang the high-pitched parts for him. The performance was good, but Dr. Phil said, "Is that any way to get your girl?"
Hermione's head was spinning. "Which boy should I choose?" she said, "This is a serious problem! Dr. Phil is already taken!"
Then Dexter made the most difficult decision of his life (including the times he was trying to decide how to invent things) and he walked up to her with a sad expression on his face, and said, "I like you very much, Hermione, but I've been thinking about us and I decided that it's not going to work".
"But why not?" she said, tears running from her eyes.
"You're a book character and I'm a cartoon character", he said. "It just won't work! I'm sorry, my love", and then he kissed her lightly.
"Yes", whispered Ron, and then he went over to Hermione and said drunkenly, "Will you marry me?"
And then Hermione said, "Are you out of your mind? We're only sixteen!"
Ron looked sad and disappointed.
"But," said Hermione said, "I'll dance with you."
"Good enough," said Ron, and they started dancing.
Then Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable came up to them.
"What's the sitch?" asked Kim, "We've got word that there's a giant three-headed dog here that needs to be taken care of."
"Fluffy's over there, by Hagrid," said Harry.
Then the blonde Ron went over to the redheaded Ron and was like, "Hi! Who are you?"
And then the redheaded Ron was like, "I'm Ron. Who are you?"
And then the other Ron was like, "I'm Ron!"
And the two Rons were like, "Cool!" and then they were like talking.
Meanwhile Kim Possible had decided that Fluffy was not dangerous and she was just standing around watching the Rons. Then Harry asked her, "Will you dance with me?"
And Kim was like, "Sure," and they started dancing.
Meanwhile, Spongebob and Patrick, who'd been dancing, decided that they should sing a song too since everyone else was singing. They got everyone from Bikini Bottom (Sqidward, Sandy, Gary the Snail, Mr. Krabs, Pearl, Mrs. Puff, Larry the Lobster, and the singing clams) to join them so that they could create a band. Then the music started and they began singing, "F is for friends who do stuff together, U is for you and me, N is for anywhere and anytime at all, down here in the deep blue sea!"
Then, a little blue dot jumped up onto the microphone and said, "That's not the right way to sing the song!" Then Plankton began singing, "F is for fire that burns down the whole town, U is for uranium, BOMBS! N is for no survivors, when you're–"
"No, Plankton!" said Spongebob, "That's not how it goes! F is for frolic through all the flowers, U is for ukulele. N is for nose-picking, sand-licking, fun-having, here with my best buddy!" The song continued for a while, and everybody in the lab started singing too.
When the song ended, Behind these Hazel Eyes played on the radio.
Then all of a sudden, the lights went off and the room was filled with pitch blackness. Then a spotlight went on over a bunch of lemurs, and really loud music started playing. Then the lemurs started dancing and doing Egyptian arm movement and going, "I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT! I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT! I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT! YOU LIKE TO… MOVE IT!" Then the music went, "BUM BUM BUM BUDADUM DUM BADADADA DUM DUM DUM BADA BUM BUM BADADADA DUM DUM DUM."
Soon everyone started dancing along to the Move It song sang by the Madagascar characters. Dobby the giant octopus danced so that the floor shook. Disco lights shone across the lab, and from the outside you could see the whole place shaking (in a cartoony way) because the music was so loud.
After that song, Maggie and her friend, Rayna, came up with an idea, and then they whispered their idea to all the girls in the room. Suddenly, all the girls got on stage, and then all the girls start singing, "Ooo-ooo, this my shht… this my shht…" And then Maggie sang, "I heard that you were talking shht, and you didn't think that I would hear it! People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up! Now a minute to attack, gonna lead the pack, gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out. That's right, put you're pom-poms down, getting everybody caught up!" And they all sang, "A few times I been 'round that track, so it's not just gonna happen like that, 'cause I ain't no Hollaback girl! I ain't no Hollaback girl! A few times I been 'round that track, so it's not just gonna happen like that, 'cause I ain't no Hollaback girl! I ain't no Hollaback girl!"
"Wow", said one Ron to the other. "I never knew the girls could be so sexy!"
"Let me hear you say this shht is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"
"This shht is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" repeated the boys.
You know that the news people are still filming this and Jes is still watching it on TV, right?
So anyway, then Triane the news reporter, who was dancing crazily, said to the camera, "This is Triane, not Diane, Triane, with the news, and this party is really going bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S is right!" Then another newsperson ran into the screen and gave Triane a paper. Triane read the paper, "This just in! The people who run a lot of TV channels are having problems! Since all of the characters are at this party, there's nothing to show on TV! Plus, all the Harry Potter books are blank since all their characters are here! Not to mention that people are having trouble receiving advice because all the Dr. Phil books are wordless, as are a large and growing number of other books and materials!
Even though this is not really so much of a problem since 89 of TV viewers are tuned in to the news right now, it is important that all the characters get back to their correct TV shows or books before the makers of the shows and books go out of business!"
Just then a police officer came in holding a voice amplifier. He made the bullhorn go off and got everyone's attention. Then he said into the amplifier, "Attention please, all characters who are not in the correct television program or book! Please evacuate the building and return to your proper environments immediately! It is essential that you do so, otherwise people will have nothing to watch or read besides this nonsense!"
Soon the people and animals, with shouts of "Aw, man," left Dexter's Lab, being lead by the talking lemurs, who had started singing again, "I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT!" Everybody Egyptian-arm-movement-danced out of the Lab and to their correct shows or books.
Dexter was left all alone in his lab with Deedee and nothing else left but all the garbage on the floor left from the party.
"Why did they have to leave?" moaned Dexter, who didn't like the thought of returning to his normal life.
Meanwhile, Deedeee pranced around the room singing, "This place smells like garbage. G-A-R-B-A-G-E!".
"DEEDEE, GET OUT OF MY LABORATORY", yelled Dexter.
The End. (To be continued in episode 2!)