Hi Everyone, so this is my first fanfiction. I'm trying to work on a couple other plot lines but I find that when I go to type them out the ideas just vanish, but I'm working on it. I decided that the easiest way to proceed was perhaps to explore a song fiction. The lyrics work into the plot like a soundtrack on top of scenes. Has anyone noticed that a lot of Taylor Swift's songs from Speak Now can be interpreted into the Hunger Games characters? So after a major obsession w/ the Hunger Games and a mild obsession with that album (I blame the CW, long story), I've decided to proceed with my first fanfiction. Please review. I have some other songfic ideas. Although I am Team Peeta, I will say that for some reason Gale's ending always bothered me. I felt the SC should have covered it in some capacity beyond just the few sentences in the last chapter/epilogue.

Please remember, I do not own either the characters/plots/words of either Suzanne Collins who wrote the Hunger Games Series or Taylor Swifts Speak Now album. All rights belong to those ladies. They rightly own and deserve all the credit for those. I am merely inspired by their amazing works. This story is post-Mockingjay and pre-epilogue and it incorporates Taylor Swift's Story of Us lyrics in italic quotes.

These parties are getting old. I'm so tired of having to go these events. The non-stop celebrations are so reminiscent of the Victory Tour…. I thought it would all be over but now I don't think that is the case. The Mockingjay may have been severely burned, but not to extinction according to Plutarch and his Memories Tour. It is one year later and we are at the final ball commemorating the end of what is now known as the Arena War. Interesting, once a Gamemaker always a Gamemaker. I look around the crowd trying to find Peeta. Where has he gone to? In the past, he never left my side. But that was before so much destroyed everything so much of us loved and cared for. War, destruction, death. I always assumed in this new world it would warrant a more somber celebration. Even if we are celebrating the deaths because they brought about our freedom not entertainment, isn't a gala a little much. I don't feel like I belong here. I still feel like a murderer and traitor. I let so many people down and so many people were lost because of me. The best I could manage was assassinating President Coin before she could destroy more lives out of revenge. Revenge used to consume me in the days of District 13. All I wanted was to kill President Snow for all the terrible things he did to me and those I love… Peeta was someone I loved and I left him behind to be tortured. It took months for me to truly find Peeta again. And even now there is an innocence to him that is forever lost. Those dark times I needed him but couldn't have him. He was gone and it was my fault. Just like Rue and the firebomb victims of District 12. I tried to get through those dark days. I tried to find a way out of the depression and anger. I needed someone. Oh how my mind wanders away at these parties. Prim was someone I loved and I let her become a pawn in someone else's game of revenge. How many people have I lost because of anger and revenge? How many have I been able to get back? Sadly not many, not my sister, not Finnick, not Rue. How many families were shattered because of me? How have I made this night all about me again… How am I ever going to survive this night? Haymitch? Too drunk. My mother? Off saving others. Johanna? Looking just as miserable as me from over in the corner. Again where is Peeta? And that's when I spot him…

GALE.

Not who want now. Not who I wanted then. But I needed him then, not now. But maybe…? There he is just standing there staring at me. He is good at that. Just stare away Gale, words were never his thing. Nor was comfort I learned. The years I leaned on Gale for friendship vanished when we entered District 13. Perhaps I burned the bridges long before. Perhaps Snow's firebombs destroyed more than just the lives and land of District 12. But no, I think the firebombs that killed our friendship were Coin's bombs. Snow laid the patchwork, Coin let it rip. Then again, I feel like were already playing with kerosene when it comes to our relationship. I games had lit a match under what was already an intense heat. And Gale, well he helped set the traps that would destroy it permanently. Perhaps we never understood were we stood. Both of us content that the other would never change or go away, similar to now where we stand there feet away from each other physically and a million miles away emotionally.

"I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,

How we met and the sparks flew instantly,

People would say, "They're the lucky ones."

I used to know my place was a spot next to you,

Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat,

'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on." (Swift)

But it wasn't always like that. I remember years of laughter, tears and moments in the woods. Until recently, I remember thinking that happiness would always be linked to Gale and the woods. We were a team. I play back the years of our partnership. We fought from the beginning. There were always sparks. Good and bad. We forged a friendship based on need and respect. I used to know that we would always be a team. We would always have each other's back, we would fight together not against each other. There was a fire that fueled our desire to take care of each other. Of course that was before I volunteered at the reaping. Before I came back broken from two death arenas with enough baggage to fill well over 12 Capital trains and my fire to fight had been smoldered. Before I realized that fire can bring both save and destroy. That sparks do not guarantee a burning desire or strength for survival. Also that sparks can get out of control without your knowledge or consent.

Why could he understand me for five years and yet forget me in such a short time? I was always a selfless survivor. I wanted those I loved to survive over my life. I was not the selfish warrior, like him searching for truth and justice. Truth and justice would find me. And like most things in my complicated life I would run from them until cornered to face them. I hunted to survive. He hunted to for insurgency and survival. For him they ran in the same blood. He enjoyed laying traps to meet his ends. Maybe I did change after the Games. Like Johanna once reminded me. I do not feel much like the girl who volunteered to save my sister's life so many years ago. Maybe Gale only loved that girl. Maybe she died in the first arena with those berries. I no longer wanted to fight. After the Quell, I barely wanted to survive. I wanted those I loved to survive. I needed them around me. I was willing to be the Mockingjay but only to get those that I loved back. Including, the one that was not saved from the arena ~ the one who had become integral to the new Katniss. I needed Peeta back and for that I was willing to sing whatever song the Rebels wanted. I think part of me was doing it for the great battle of truth and justice. What the Capital and Snow does to innocent people needed to be stopped. But like most things I do it's not until I deep within the forest before I actually see the trees. I was a mascot not a warrior. And my battle was more personal than global. Unfortunately, Gale could not accept that I might have changed. That the fire he once saw in me might have a different purpose. And the purpose included fighting for Peeta's survival. At the time, I did not know if a loved Peeta or not. But I did care for him, just as I cared for Gale. How deep either love ran was not clear to me then, especially not in the depths of my depression. During this difficult time, I struggled to find a way. I needed my friend to help me through without promise or obligations. I somehow never imagined him not being there to help me then. As a result, I was not surprised when he chose to not be here to help me now.

"Oh, a simple complication,

Miscommunications lead to fall-out.

So many things that I wish you knew,

So many walls that I can't break through.

[Chorus:]

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,

And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?

I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.

Next chapter."(Swift)

I think that our friendship has become a tragedy. Two people so close destroyed by unforeseeable tragedies of fate. First it was the games where Peeta became more than just a memory. Then it was the Quell, where I chose to value Peeta's life over mine and others that I cared about. At the time, I did not recognize my motives. Like Finnick once said I did not necessarily know what the feelings were but a deep care and concern were there. Like a pearl in an oyster, Peeta and I had something special and precious. But where did Gale figure into that new dynamic. Where does your best friend factor in when your life and fate has become so entwined with another's? Maybe Gale finally saw that when I was so broken after arriving to District 13. I no longer looked for a place next to him. I was so deep into depression that I was nearly dead. I always assumed that Gale would be there to help rescue me from that darkness, just as he once had by helping me learn to hunt and survive. But that was not the case. As the days rolled on, he perceived my darkness as unapproachable, maybe not even salvageable. I truly think that he thought that without Peeta I would not be able to return, which might have been true. But I feel like he never tried. He felt that by saving my family and supporting them that somehow I would simply snap out of it. That by manipulating me to believe that being the Mockingjay was mission enough to resurrect the old Katniss. What he failed to realize was that I needed someone to be on my side. I needed his arms and his comfort to help me through the devastation of our reality regardless of whether I returned his sentiment. For him, I did not love him enough to just want to be with him and just forget Peeta. I did not know what or who I loved, and he was not okay with that. I was broken and I needed my friend back.

"How'd we end up this way?

See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,

And you're doing your best to avoid me.

I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us,

How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,

But you held your pride like you should've held me." (Swift)

Typical Gale he went ahead and tried to prove to me that he knew what was best. That he alone would rescue me in the fashion he deemed. He would volunteer to help rescue Peeta after it became apparent that his plans for war and revenge would not go off smoothly if his Mockingjay was broken. But I think he did it more to prove to me that he would win in the end. That somehow his safe return would again guarantee my gratitude. Well that certainly backfired when Peeta came back highjacked. Then the tables turned and he was back to being my friend. I think out of pity for both of us. He realized his competition was more destroyed than his conquest. That there was no recovery for any of us, we would forever be spinning in this sick ring of fire. He became more focused on winning the war that he could. He abandoned me and his ideals. He designed the ultimate snare, the double bomb. It started in the Nut of District Two and finished in the destruction of my sister. I cannot blame him for Snow's plan. But that fact that he was okay with that much collateral damage pushed me further from him and who we might have been to each other at one time. He destroyed our bonds of friendship. He silenced it forever with his bombs. The final twist of fate was that it was his actions that destroyed us. It was his internal fire that was destructive in its need for justice that destroyed us. It was not the games or Peeta that drove us apart it was the fundamental differences in our fires.

"Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,

Why are we pretending this is nothing?

I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,

I've never heard silence quite this loud.

[Chorus:]

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,

And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?

I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now." (Swift)

I look over and I see that he has been distracted by another dignitary. I move quickly to the other side of the room. I have no idea where to go. Where do you escape from the one person you have been desperately trying to both avoid and talk to? The months of anger and one-way conversations have not prepared me for this moment. I need to talk to him. But I will not be the one to break. I will simply evade. I have learned through Dr. Aurelious that running away from my problems will not solve them. However, I have also learned through my experience that running towards them blind will also not help. I had the strangulation bruises from highjacked Peeta for weeks that helped me learn that lesson. Gale remembers those, he took the opportunity to kiss them for me. Weeks of catanonic state could not elicit that emotion from him. But murderous rage from a former lover seems to put a jealous Gale back on track. Good to know. I will simply find something else more important to do… It seems the cookie table has won my attention.

"This is looking like a contest,

Of who can act like they care less,

But I liked it better when you were on my side.

The battle's in your hands now,

But I would lay my armor down

If you said you'd rather love than fight.

So many things that you wished I knew,

But the story of us might be ending soon." (Swift)

It's not quite working as I can still feel his eyes burning holes into me. But how did I want this conversation to go? How did I ever want it to end? My gut reaction in the first games was correct. Gale and Peeta do not fit well together in a sentence never mind a life. How did I expect to have both Gale and Peeta? But Peeta never asked me to make that decision. He loved me too much to want me to sacrifice to satisfy his pride. If I needed him he was there, regardless of what Gale meant to me. He knew that I needed to come to terms on my own exactly where we all stood. Gale never allowed me that space. It was a constant struggle for him to get me to abandon the scars that were so deep from the games and move on with him in a future of his choosing. It does not surprise me that eventually the war and revenge became more important to him than me. I was too much of a broken case to fix. He left me there… I just left him do it.

I don't know if I will win this battle. But at least I'm still in the fight right now. I just want to speak to him. I am beyond angry and disappointed with how it all went down. But for the years of friendship we had I need to know ~ where do we stand? I don't think that I'll ever be able to fully trust him again. But we had too much to just let it disappear. He may never have my heart but that does not mean that I do not care about him. I do not believe that Prim would have wanted me to live with grudges. She would have wanted me to forgive him. Forgiveness is hard. But I think that will bring me closure. I can never forget, but I can forgive. I can never fully love others with this bitterness lingering in my soul. And there are those around me that deserve my complete love. I spot Peeta now. He is looking over at me and winking as he talks to what must be an ardent admirer. I can feel my smile begin to burst across my face. My blush quickly vanishes though when I feel a tap on my shoulder. And with that … I am staring straight into the grey eyes that were my salvation for so many years, before there shading took a more destructive glint.

"Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,

And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?

I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now.

And we're not speaking,

And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?

I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate 'cause we're going down,

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now." (Swift)

"Katniss, I'm sorry" he pleads with this sorrowful look that I've never seem in his eyes before.

"Sorry for what?", it came out in a much harsher tone than in my head. But that is probably the truth there is no softer way to phrase this question. I stand firm. I am willing to forgive… but I need to know that he is truly sorry and not just for his military strategies.

And then he just bleeds out item after item. He is sorry for the bomb. He is sorry my sister and others died because of his creations. He is working in District 2 now in hopes for some absolution for his crimes at the Nut and the war. He is sorry that he was not able to see that his methods were too destructive. He is sorry that he has changed from the boy I met in the woods so many years ago. And most of all, he is sorry for abandoning me in District 13 and then in my exile in District 12. He explains that it is just he did not know how to be there for me. He had never anticipated that I would be so broken. He was scared to try to and fix me only to have me shatter again. He loved me but knew that he could not provide what I needed. He did not mean to leave me, but he could see no way of him being able to stay. He was not jealous of what I had with Peeta but saddened that he would never be able to be that person for me. Our natures were too similar he explained. Fire with fire does not produce good results. It becomes too combustible like a wildfire. Wildfires are as dangerous as they are natural. The breadth of damage generally outweighs the ecological benefits. It is too hard to control the wildfire once it has started. Our relationship was just that a wildfire. Our woods would never survive in the end.

"I love you, Catnip. I always will" he says with so much heartbreak in his eyes, it's hard not to hug him right on the spot. "But we can't be together, it would destroy us both and I caused enough destruction for a lifetime". And for the first time in years I feel that he and I are finally on the same page again.

"I love you too. And I forgive you Gale". And with that I feel a great weight lift off my chest. It's like a burden gone that I never knew I had until now. My smile is beginning to return to my face.

"Catnip, It's good to see you smile again".

"It's good to be talking again. And let's not wait until another ridiculous party to talk again." I say sincerely meaning it. Like the dark times in District 13, I want my friend back. I do not know what the friendship will look like… but I know it's important to try to rebuild that bridge.

He looks at me surprised for a minute just like he did so many years ago when a scrawny scared girl asked him to show her how to make a trap. Only this time, I know better than to fall into other people's traps and plans. We may never be "us" again, but for a brief flicker I believe that it might be possible in the future. With a brief peck on the my cheek he is gone.

"The end." (Swift)

From behind, I feel two strong warm arms wrap around me. "What's just happened?" He whispers.

"Forgiveness… I just found something, I didn't know I lost". I say as a turn to face the one person I realize I have truly always been in love with.

"I don't have to worry do I? You thought you lost me for awhile too…"

I silence his concern with a long kiss that simmers with the heat I felt on the beach and in the cave. A heat that I have now become so accustomed too that I'm almost concerned that we may become too combustible for our own good one of these days. But I truly do not believe that is case. We are too compatible not similar. Our fire creates hope and sustains life. We have rescued each other from the brink of death and destruction in too many ways, too many times that we could never destroy each other. We are one element. I am the girl on fire. He is the boy with the bread. And together our love glows strong enough for always.

"I never lost you. You were just taken from me for a little awhile. But we found each other again. And remember, I've always been in love with you Peeta". I whisper into his ear when we finally finish our kiss.

"Well I plan on staying with you always…" as his stare penetrates the deeper part of my soul. "Katniss, I love you with my entire body and soul."

"Always…" I promise and plead at the same time.

"Always" he promises.