Remember
It started as a pledge to get into shape, but quickly spiraled into something much worse.
On the first day, She wakes up at 6:00am to get ready for school. Around 7:00 she's down the stairs and ready to go. Her brothers and sisters are still asleep, as well as her parents. She refills her waterbottle and leaves for school, her tummy sloshing from being full to the brim with liquid.
around 5th period, Cat has drunk 5 bottles full of water. She escapes to the bathroom every period to relive herself. She allows herself a faint smile thinking if the memory of when jade said she had the bladder of a squirrel. Her teachers wonder, yet not enough to question her frequent trips. She sits at the lunch table with Robbie until the others arrive. Cats tummy is empty. She hastily downs another full Bottle of water. At first, Her friends don't even notice she hasn't brought lunch again. It was always the same excuses. I forgot my money/ im not hungry/ im sick/ i don't feel well/ i have a stomach ache/ im allergic to that.
She stares at her best girlfriends tori and jade. Jade is eating a taco stuffed with cheese and steak. Tori is eating double-stuffed crust cheese pizza. Cat stares right at the food, hungrily. Her mouth begins to water, and she catches the drool with a napkin before letting it escape her mouth. Tori looks over at her with the pizza slice in her mouth, about to bite down. She bites, chewing slowly in a questioning manor. She swallows, and finally says something to cat.
"cat? Did you forget your lunch money? You can have some pizza if you're hungry!" tori flashes her million dollar smile at her friend genuinely, sliding a slice of pizza on a napkin over the table. For a moment there, cat almost gives in, when she remembers.
"um, that's ok, tori," cat replies with great difficulty, taking many pauses. She flashes her beautiful friend a weak smile.
Tori shrugs happily and returns the smile, going back to her pizza.
How can they be so thin? Cat thinks to herself.
Because they're not weak like you. She tells herself.
She returns inside the school early, leaving her friends bewildered at their regular table. Robbie suggests that cat is tired, and they all agree. She sprints to the nurses office, taking the extra long way.
Exercise makes it go away
She tells the nurse she isn't feeling well, and wishes to go home. The nurse gives her an apologetic smile and lets her leave. The bell sounds overhead. She waits a few minutes until she's sure all students are back in the school and slips into the crowds hurrying to get to class.
Reaching the exit doors, she slams hard on them, making her way to her car. She slips in the front seat and bangs her head on the steering wheel a few times before putting the keys in the ignition and starting the journey home. The house is quiet. Her siblings at school and father away on business, she expected her mom to be home. She finds a note on the fridge.
Hey kitty-cat!
I went over to the lopez's, they just brought home their baby! The kids all have after school activities, but don't worry, they have rides to and from. I won't get back until late and the kids should get back around 9, so you'll have the house to yourself! I left money for pizza if you get hungry, and there's some brownies on the stove for a treat.
I love you kitten,
-Mommy
Cat smiles at the note. She may be fat, and she may be stupid, but at least she has a family that cares. She folds up the note and puts it in her pocket. She walks past the homemade brownies with great difficulty. She convinces herself of the dangers of that pan of chocolatey goodness.
Brownies are the food of the devil. They will kill you.
She sighs, giving one last fleeting glance at the brownies before running upstairs. Her legs burn with overuse as she jogs into her room. She makes her way to her closet and sloppily throws on some exercise gear. She leans down to lace her running shoes when she hears a vibration coming from her phone. She finishes the knot and opens up the message.
Were r u? -jade
Just as she finishes reading she gets another two messages.
Hey cutie, you leave early? -Robbie
Sup lil red, were'd u run off 2? -andre
She only responds to Robbie, smiling while reading his text over and over again. She loved it when he called her cutie. This however, being a lame attempt at making her feel special. She knew she was not cute at all.
Wasn't feeling well, left early. -cat
Oh I'm sorry honey, feel better luv u! -Robbie
Oh how she wishes he meant it. It was of course, only meant in a friendly way.
Luv u 2 rob ttyl -cat
Wow. Beck and tori are so wrapped up in their own drama that they didn't even notice me. I'm invisible.
Wasn't feeling well, left early -cat
Relief washed over Robbie as he read the knew message from cat. He showed it to Andre and jade before quickly writing a reply.
Jade sat, her head resting on her knuckles. She appeared to be deep in thought. Andre was humming random notes, no doubt attempting to write another song. Robbie could see beck in the distance, eating lunch on the hood of his car. His "asphalt caffe" cup in his hand, barley drunken from, and his ham sandwich left unopened in its container. Tori was no where in sight. Either of the two hadn't eaten with the gang sense tori rejected beck. It seemed as if beck had left a huge tear in the gang. One that he couldn't patch back together.
3 years earlier
"hey, cat!" Alex greeted his girlfriend. He pecked her on the lips and grabbed her hand, leading her to his car. He followed uneasily. Ever sense she got accepted into Hollywood arts, she's been uneasy. She's starting to feel like she doesn't like him anymore. They've grown apart. She opened the passengers seat door and climbed into the car slowly, shutting the door behind her. Alex opened his door and sat down. He shuts it with a slam. Just as he's about to start the car, cat stops him.
"Alex?" she asks, looking up at him. His gaze turns to meet hers at her touch.
"yeah cat?" he says seriously.
"I-I think we need a break."
Alex's eyes flash in anger. He slaps her hard across the cheek, drawing blood. Her hand raises I her cheek an her brown hair is now flecked with blood. She gasps and opens the door to escape. She fast-walks down the street to escape.
"fine!" Alex shouts out the car window. "why would I want a girlfriend who's fat anyway?" he instantly regrets saying that, especially because he knows it's not true, and drives away. Cat freezes in her tracks. Fat? No one had ever said that to her...
Why would I want a girlfriend whose fat anyway?
Fat
Girlfriend who's fat.
Whose fat anyway.
Why would he want that?
A girlfriend whose fat.
A girlfriend who's fat anyway.
She puts it in the back of her mind. She walks around for a bit, seeing a convince store in the distance. She enters and immediately goes to the hair dye section. It's as if she can't control her own body. She just had to do this. she grabs a bleach blonde, raven black, light brown, and red velvet red dye box and sits down in the isle, ignoring all the weird looks she gets.
Just put it behind you
She closes her eyes and mixes up the boxes. And finally, reaches for a random one. Her hand closes over the box at the big moment. Her eyes fly open and she finds the red velvet cupcake box is clutched in her hand. She puts back the rejected boxes and purchases the red dye, immediately going home and applying it. She hops out of the shower and drys her hair with her eyes closed.
And now the moment of truth
She slowly opens her eyes and sees the new cat. She changes up her attitude too. She act like Alex made her feel. Dumb. Because she knew that's what she was.
She goes to school the next day an everyone complements her hair. And, after a while, forget that she's not really dumb and the way that she used to be. Because, She dyed her hair red to remember. To remember what she's become.