Warnings: mention of child molestation and sexual abuse by a parent. May be triggering to some so beware. This is John Bashing so if you don't like, please don't read.

Sam is 9 years old and Dean is 13 years old at the start of this story.

Didn't you ever wonder why Bobby Singer refused to go with the Reaper? Here is my take on it. Enjoy!

What He Wouldn't Do

July, 1992

The man sat in his kitchen with tears streaming down his face. In his hands were two sets of small boxers stained with blood in the seats. Even though his own father had been a bastard and an abuser, he never did what these children's father was doing. For that he was grateful. After clearing his eyes and wiping his cheeks, Bobby Singer put the clothes down and reached for his mother's diary. After she died, he had read it and found out what she did for him. Now, he wanted to do the same for the boys he loved as his own.

After carefully reading the passage he had marked, Bobby got all the items including his mother's dish she had used herself. Carefully, he put the herbs in the prescribed pattern. Then he put the baby blue candles around the sigil with the white one in the middle. In the bowl, he put Holy Water, Holy Oil, Baby's Breath and one white Rose. After reading the summoning spell, he lit the bowl's items on fire then he waited praying that his request would be granted. After a minute, the candles lit themselves and Bobby knew that his prayers would be answered. He looked around and saw the being he had summoned. He went on his knees and bowed his head.

"Don't do that for me," said the being, "I am not my Father."

Bobby got up and looked at the other. It was in the shape of a young man in his 20's. His eyes were grey and his hair was a glossy black. He stood around 5'9" with a slight build. Even though the man/being was small, Bobby could feel the power he held within himself.

"You have a request?" asked the young man (being).

Bobby nodded numbly. He was struck mute by who was in front of him. He never thought of himself as worthy for such an august being but here the young man was. Instead of talking, Bobby went to his kitchen and got the clothing that had so distressed him. He gave the articles to the man who looked at them then started to glare.

"What would you ask me to do to the one who has done this?"

Bobby knew the boys needed their father no matter how bad things were but he felt the man needed to be punished for what he had done. So he said, "Punish him but…" his words failed him.

"Do you wish to be their father?" was the soft question.

"Yes but I can't take away the only parent they have," came Bobby's answer.

The young man looked at Bobby so intensely it seemed that he could see Bobby's soul. Then he said, "Your request will be granted. For your unselfish request, you will be these boys' father in all but flesh. They will love you as their father but will stay with their real father. Your actions today will bind the three of you together for all times, even after death. Do you accept this?"

Bobby didn't have to think about it. He just replied, "Yes."

"Know my name then. I am Diniel, Angel who protects infants. I will help these boys as I once helped you. There are some aspects of this man that I can't do anything about but I can alter what he does. Do you accept?"

Bobby said without hesitation, "Yes."

Diniel smiled then kissed Bobby on the forehead before disappearing. For the first time since his find, Bobby felt peace in his heart and soul.

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John Winchester walked from the bar. It wasn't far from the motel where his children were waiting for him. He was very angry and couldn't wait to get back to his boys so he could "work out" with them. It never failed to put him in a better mood afterward. He didn't care about the damage he had done or was currently doing. It just felt right to him. Besides, the boys owed him for all the food he put in their bellies and the clothes on their backs to say nothing of the protection he gave them.

When he was about a block away from the motel, John felt a rush of wind on his back and there was the sound of wings. Staggering, he turned around to see a young man with black hair and grey eyes.

"Who the hell are you?" John asked belligerently.

"I am Diniel, an Angel of the Lord," replied the young man.

"Yeah, right," burped John. He giggled then turned around again to continue his journey only to find the Angel in front of him. This time, though, the expression on the Angel's face was thunderous. John started to feel fear for the first time.

"You have defiled your sons and abused them. You will be punished for that!" cried Diniel. He put his hands on John's head. Then he left.

John shook his head as the feeling of electrical currents raced through his body. After the tingling stopped, he continued towards the motel. His sons were waiting for him.

He didn't see the car coming down the street until he was hit. The driver was drunk and didn't even know he had hit someone. He just kept going.

Diniel stood by the boys' bed and looked at them while they slept. So much innocence lost but he would help them regain it again. Diniel softly put his hands on the precious beings in front of him. His hands glowed as he healed them of their hurts and memories. To them, John would be a drill sergeant and a less than desirable father but he would never hurt them like this again. Their love and affection that a father deserves would be transferred to the man who acted fatherly towards them, Bobby Singer. Part of the punishment John would endure was the knowledge of that fact. But, since Bobby was to be a very important part of their lives, John would never be able to stay away from the other hunter. He would forever be watched.

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Bobby got a call from Tacoma General Hospital about John's accident. Since John was in a coma, his boys had been taken by CPS until he could come out and claim them. Bobby got on the first plane he could to be at his "sons'" side. When he got to Tacoma, he went first to the CPS office and got the boys released to his care. Then he went to the hospital and talked to John's doctor.

John was in a coma and even if he came out of it, he would never be the same again. Bobby found that he was okay with that.

When John finally came out of the coma, he went to Bobby's to heal and reclaim his sons. Bobby warned him that if there was any kind of abuse happening, he would take the boys away and John would never find them. John nodded meekly, he had learned his lesson.

Over the years, John came to love his children again as a father should but they didn't love him back. Dean came to respect his father but deep down in Sam's mind came the feeling of horror and fear whenever John came close to him. Even though Sam strove to get John's approval, it was Bobby and Dean whom he loved as his fathers. John felt the loss keenly but knew that it was part of the punishment that Diniel put on him. John knew he deserved it and tried to get his sons' forgiveness.

Dean gave it. Sam couldn't. Not until John sacrificed himself for Dean.

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May 2012

Bobby watched Sam and Dean as they worked on the Leviathan problem. In all these years he never regretted his decision regarding their father except for one thing. He had always wished he was the one who had raised these two. Even without the sexual abuse, his boys' lives had been unnecessarily hard. Especially Sam's. But Bobby never called Diniel again. He still believed the boys needed John Winchester in their lives and did everything he could to help his children through their trials. He even said no to the reaper so he could stay by their sides. He remembered what Diniel said, that the three of them were now tied together even after death.

He loved his sons and never regretted his actions on that long July night. Bobby smiled. No regrets at all.

I'm not a total John basher. In fact, I really like the man. He tried to keep his sons safe and he deeply loved them. This is a total what if kind of story so please, no flames.