A/N: Hello guys, so this is my first Fairy Tail fic. It's cracky, and a mere oneshot. Hinted JuviaxGray.
Well not hinted, open about it, but nothing happens.
"On such a beautiful day, it is a good time to kick Gray's ass," Natsu thought to himself as he meandered out of the guild. Lucy had been in bed with a cold, so he didn't want to go on any jobs. So for the past few days he's been splaying about in the guild dubbed "Fairy Tail" contently.
"Gray, you bastard! Where are you? Let's fight!" He yelled, storming down the streets, two fists rose and flaming. He soon spotted the dark-haired man lazing about in by the large tree. If he thought back, he would remember Levi and her team, Shadow Gear, were beaten and shackled to it a while ago but fellow dragon slayer, Gajeel. Natsu jumped up and hit Gray with a Iron Fist of the Fire Dragon solidly in the back of his head, to which Gray flew forward, rubbing his skull. But there wasn't any vocal responses, such as, "you asshole, what was that for?" or, "what the hell?"
"Oi, Gray, are you okay?" Natsu asked, slightly worried from the lack of agitation.
"No…" a meek voice sounds, Gray turning up sadly to face Natsu.
"Not that I care or anything, because I don't, but what's wrong?" Natsu asked, a tone of worry clearly audible in his voice.
"Well, my girlfriend and I have been dating for a while, and she may want to do it soon," Gray starts, soon realizing the dense Natsu is confused by what he means by 'do it.'
"I mean have sex, by 'do it'. Anyways, I'm… Not normal sized down there. I'm below average!" Gray cries, hanging his head in his hands, "all my previous girlfriends have dumped me because of it. When I was younger Lyon and I were fully naked, and of course Ur got mad at us. She gave us socks to hand over our, you know… But while Lyon could use a normal sock I hate to use an ankle one!" Gray sobs, tears falling into his hands.
"What do I do, Natsu? What if Juvia dumps me? What if I lose everything?" Gray yells, grabbing Natsu by the collar, only to hear a loud snore in response. The Fire Dragon Slayer mage had fallen asleep.
Gray's aura soon became that of rage, as the Ice mage threw the man in his hands, smashing an Ice Hammer onto the other mage's body.
"You asshole! Pay attention when someone is talking to you!" He screamed, panting heavily.
His large ice hammer soon melted from the dense boy's flames.
"Don't wake someone up when they're sleeping!" Natsu retorted, sending a Roar of the Fire Dragon towards Gray. And soon Natsu got what he wanted, the fight he was looking for, as well as a nap.
A/N: So, that's it. Did you like it? Hate it? Found it disgusting as you held back your anger of wanting to hit me?
Either way I like reviews. Oh, and favourites. c:
I sometimes wonder what goes through my mind as I make shit like this up. ._.