Okay this is the first chapter of Many! Tell me what you think and if you like it. The more reviews the faster the chaps will go up! Mean I know, but needed. And I have a new beta, one that really does what she's suppose to, opposed to my last one, KELSEY who didn't even do one fucking chap! Grr... Anyways My new Beta is Becca, everyone says thanks to Becca, I sent her this today and she sent it back, corrected and everything! She's so great! And a friend of mine from Middle school! How cool is that!!!! anyways enough talk, go read, enjoy and review!
I wonder where I will be tomorrow. I wonder why I didn't stay where I was a week ago, a thousand miles from here. I wonder if I should go back. I've been walking away from things since the day I learned to walk, and if I wasn't so god damn restless, I wouldn't be walking away from my life! I wonder where I am right now, if its a city, or a town. If it's even a place on a map, or if its just another broke down place, uncharted by the society we live in now. I wonder why it even matters! Sometimes I think I wonder too much. I wonder about Max, Zack and even about Ben. I wonder if Tinga and Brin are still alive and if not, if their deaths were quick and painless, or if it hurt like HELL! Sometimes I even wonder if or if not I am still alive. Can we call what I have life? Or is it just a waste of time? Would it even matter if Lydecker swooped down and took me from this so called life I have? No, I don't think so. This isn't life, this is just loneliness and its driving me crazy. Can a Transgenic go nuts? Hmmm, I'll let you know when I find out.
So where am I now? The sign a mile back said Seattle. Yes, I've heard of that before. It has a space needle in it. And its suppose to rain a lot here. It's sunny now, so now I wonder if I really am in Seattle or if my minds playing tricks on me again. No, it's Seattle alright. I think I should lay down and rest... I'm so tired, so very tired. Must get some sleep. It must have been days, maybe even weeks since I last slept... I can't remember... Theres a hotel. Must sleep. Must rest... It's dark now... so very dark.
I hate sleeping. I really do! Thats when everything hits you! You try so long to build up everything and throw it in a little box deep, deep down inside you somewhere. Hidden and safe. But when you sleep the box opens and hits you all at once. Ha, 22 years of bottling everything up and one night to open up all the old wounds. I hate crying, I really truly do! I try to close my eyes really tight but the tears always find a way to seep through the tiny cracks and quivers. What would Lydecker do if he saw me now!? It sickens me that he would be disappointed.
So here I lay, tears stained on my face, my dirty blond hair wild with sleep. I'm restless, sleep does that to me. I need to get out, I need to go do something. Possibly productive... Naw! I get to my feet and walk out the door. Its so weird, here I am just passing through this little city, when people spend their entire life here, never even setting a foot out of the baunderies of this place. Reminds me of a cage, and a cage reminds me of Manticore. The place where I spent almost a decade in. That place just makes me shiver. The sick and twisted things they did to me. The things they made me do!
Whats this place called? Crash! Hmm, must be a little run down bar or something. I can smell the sweat coming off the dancing bodies. I can smell the vomit from last week, the beer coming off the bodies like heat! But I can also smell... I know that smell. It smells like safe! Reminds me of home. Not Manticore home, like one of the only places where I felt safe. I walk towards the smell, and thats when I see her.
"Max?" I ask quietly, my voice skipping with anticaption. She smiles and pulls me into an embrace, hugging me, squeezing me. Thats the first time I've been touched in 3 years. The first time I felt safe in 13 years. I look over and see a familiar face. I've never seen him in person, but Zack had pictures in his wallet. He smells different but he was different. Ben's all grown up. I wrap my arms around him and give him all of me in a hug. I let him look into my eyes unguarded.
"Who... are you?" Ben asks me.
"Its me! Jondy!" I say, with tears forming again. Why can't he remember me!?! Why?
My friend Jamie wrote me awhile back and asked me to do a fic on Jondy. This is my first fic on her. I normaly do Max/ Alec or I've created a girl named Samantha, who I've yet shared with you fine people. So, be kind