Maybe I've been watching too much Little Kuriboh. Anyways let me know what you think.
"If I wait in this stupid castle for prince charming one more day, I think I'll…," began a beautiful blonde trapped in a castle to wait for her true love. Or at least that was what the witch had told her. Or something like that, she hadn't really been paying too much attention.
A noise below broke her speech and she stared in anger out the window to see who or what had caused it. She couldn't tell from this far away but it looked like a knight. Another one. She was pretty sure this one would be no different than the last one. He said he would save her but the dragon got to him first. She didn't plan on getting her hopes up.
"What's your name brave knight? So that I may tell your family that you died trying to save me," she called out the window.
He looked up at her, or at least he moved his head. It was very hard to tell from this high up.
"Yami, and don't worry I will not die for I do not plan on saving you!" he shouted back at her. She frowned. That had been a little unexpected.
"Then why are you here?" she asked. Not that she cared. She was just really bored. It got lonely when you lived in a locked castle room all by yourself. Very lonely. Like having conversations with yourself kind of lonely.
"I got lost and hoped you could give me directions."
She stared at him and hoped he was kidding. Was he serious? "Then maybe you should have invested in a GPS."
"A what?" he asked in obvious confusion. Was that some new kind of map? It was the medieval ages for crying out loud, what the bloody hell was she blabbering about?
"Never mind," she said with a sigh. "Maybe you can ask the dragon outside my castle for directions. The last man who came here said it was the friendliest dragon he had ever met. Of course, he probably changed his mind when the dragon ate him."
Yami looked down from the window and for the first time noticed a huge black dragon guarding the castle. How the blazes had he missed that? It wasn't like it was some tiny creature. This dragon was nearly as tall as the castle. Perhaps his giant hair had gotten in the way again and blocked this from his vision. He put some hair over his eyes. Nope. There was still a huge dragon there.
"My good dragon," he began deciding he would try to be nice to it. Maybe the reason it ate so many people was because they always tried to kill it. It was probably very lonely.
The dragon took one look at him and let out a stream of fire, which nearly hit him. Nope. This dragon definitely had some anger problems.
"Well, I see then. If you had only tried to eat me then at least I would assume you were just hungry. But trying to set me on fire? Believe me. I don't taste good barbecued." Yami withdrew his sword and prepared to fight. While he was much better at games designed for children, he would at least give this a shot. What did he have to lose? Well, besides his life?
"You're going to get yourself killed," the princess yelled from atop her castle room.
Yami looked at her. "You're definitely not an optimist, are you?"
The dragon who had grown quite bored and opened its mouth to release another stream of fire. Yami ducked but it caught on to one of his bangs. He ran around in an attempt to put it out, making quite a fool of himself. The princess watched him and thought if all men were this dumb, she might as well rescue herself.
"My hair! Oh my precious hair!" Yami shrieked. When he finally got the fire put out, he turned to the dragon and gave it a death glare. "How dare you? Do you know how famous I am because of this master piece on top of my head? I mean, how many other people have a star shaped piece of hair with multiple colors in it? Not many."
The dragon blinked in surprise and then took a long arm and swung it at Yami. He jumped and did a summersault in the air.
"Bet you weren't expecting those ninja moves, bitch!"
The princess almost fell out the window when she heard this. Had he really just called the dragon a bitch? She was pretty sure if the dragon wasn't going to kill him before, it definitely would now.
The dragon let out a large growl as it advanced on Yami. Its heavy steps shook the ground. As it neared Yami, a ringing from some bushes stopped it in its tracks. Yami and the dragon both looked it confusion at the sound. Finally Yami shrugged, told the dragon to wait one minute, and found a cell phone in the shrub.
"Hello?" he asked. He listened to the voice on the other end. "We'll you're a little late. I think I have quite less than seven days right now considering this dragon is on the verge of killing me this very moment…oh, yes, I see. You probably do have the wrong number… Yes, best of wishes to you, too…Bye."
Yami sighed and looked up at the dragon. "Where were we?"
The dragon made a chomping noise. "Oh yes, that's right. You were about to eat me."
Yami grabbed his sword and ran towards the dragon. He took a flying leap and plunged the sword into…the princess? How did he get up here? He looked down and saw the dragon was still there. He must have jumped a little too high.
"I'm sorry, princess. Let me just…yeah…no move a little to the right and I'll pull…no that's no good. You have a good health insurance plan, right?"
She sighed and yanked the sword out herself. "You only stabbed my dress, you moron."
"Right, that makes much more sense. So now that I've saved you, do we get to make out?"
She slapped him. "You didn't save me. Now we're both trapped here, you idiot. How dumb are you? First you ask me for directions…"
She went on like this for a few minutes.
"A simple no would have sufficed," he muttered to himself.
Sorry if you think it was awful. Humor has never been my strong point.