Disclaimer: Regrettably I don't own ouran high or any of its characters

I'm fifteen and I have a brother

I'm fifteen and I love my brother

I'm fifteen and I have the only friend I need

I'm fifteen and my heart is breaking, no it's shattering

I'm fifteen and I I'm hiding 'me'

"Hika, come on, get up already!" i asked while shaking my 'older brother'

He turned and mumbled "kao…five minutes more…"

"Hika if you don't get up right now…. " I turned away and said " You're going to miss you're date with haruhi! I'm sure tono would love to take your place" I giggled as he 'tsked' and finally got up

"Your clothes are on the chair and I already prepared your bath, you wouldn't want to spoil your first date with haruhi because of your smell, would you?" i said with a hint of sarcasm

"kaoru you're so mean" he said as he headed to the bathroom…

I just grinned and as when I heard the door close…."you're the one who's being mean…."I whispered then I smiled bitterly to myself and sat at the edge of his bed

He went out of the bathroom looking as gorgeous as ever, I mean I know I have a great fashion sense, what more to expect from the son of my mother but all the clothes just suit him

I smiled "yep you look great but... 's missing?" I rubbed my chin and 'DING!' I knew something was missing, I ran out of the room and came back with a bunch of roses."Perfect! now you can go on your date!"

He hugged me and said "Thanks kao" then he broke off and said "I'm going" I wanted to shout and cry and tell him not to go, I wanted him to stay with me. But I knew that he has to grow up, he found what he wanted and he's happy, who am I to stop him from getting it? I'm just his brother…nothing more, nothing less…I went to my room and I cried and cried and cried, I felt so helpless, so pathetic and disgusted at myself. I wanted to take everything away from him and make him see only me. And he says "thank you" to me, to the person who wants to strip him of everything, who wants to lock him in a cage and never let him go, what kind of person am I?

I continued crying, I wrote everything I felt and as I was reading it I heard a knock and a soft voice spoke "Kao? Are you asleep?" I looked at the clock and found out that I spent the day just like that ' I didn't eat anything since morning, no wonder I'm hungry' I thought then I grabbed a mirror and looked at myself 'good, it doesn't look like I cried'

"Nah, come in, I'm awake now" I called from the other side of the door

In came a bouncing hikaru, he told me the wondrous story of his date. At first I was nodding and praising him, while leaving some sarcastic remarks from time to time. Then I got lost in my thoughts. Don't get me wrong, I love it when he tells me stories but it depends on the subject, hearing him talk about haruhi and their date, haruhi and their date and haruhi made me feel partly happy but majority of me was suffering and dying to take him away from her.

"-and you know haruhi…" I really ought to listen if I don't want him shouting if only I could-

"KAORU!"he shouted

" WHAT?" I yelled , I was taken by surprise and covered my mouth "oh, sorry I-" I was cut off

"I was telling you about our date and you aren't listening and now you shout at me? What's wrong with you" then I got so annoyed and I snapped

"No hika, what is wrong with you? Don't tell me you haven't noticed that I love you..ah.. I- I didn't mean.. tsk" I ran out of the house wearing my pjs I didn't know where to go so I just ran and ran then 'BEEP BEEP!' I turned my head and saw white…then nothing…

Hikaru POV

I stood there, dumbstruck about what I heard 'kaoru he, he loves me' then I realized how cruel I was, 'how dumb am I to not notice that? He had always been there for me and all I did was rub into his face that I loved somebody else but he always smiled..he always gave me advices he..he was always there to support me'

I snapped out of my daze with only one thought in my ' I need to apologize to him for everything' the ran out to follow him, I called out his name but he can't hear me, he was too far, then I saw a car, it was so fast and kaoru was running straight to the road….i tried to warn him..i tried to reach him…I was crying begging him to hear me out…but he never heard me….the car hit him…there was blood..so much blood….

"KAORU! KAORU!" I went to him, I was shaking as I reached out to check his pulse and I thank all the gods that he was alive, his pulse was slowing down

"Have you called an ambulance?" I shouted at the man who was driving the car, he looked so terrified well he should be, because I'll make sure that he rots in prison for what he did to my kaoru, I wanted to pummel him to the ground right there and then but kaoru is my first priority. Then I heard the siren of the ambulance and they took kaoru, I went with them while saying all the prayers I know. We reached the hospital and kaoru was taken to the emergency room and once again I found myself in a daze thinking about everything that had happened 'If I had been more sensitive, if I had been more caring, if only I ran after him immediately' so much if's and what if's were going through my mind….i found myself crying at the thought of losing my twin, of losing my brother …