"Tell me about this brother of yours that you have been road-tripping with." The words of the good doctor shake Sam from his reverie. He now has the choice to continue to blow smoke up Ellicott´s ass or confess the truth. The youngest Winchester realized that the former has not served him up to this point. He therefore decides on the latter.
"Well. Dean is...He can come across as arrogant to those who don´t know him. The stubborness of the man defies belief. It seems to be his mission in life to get laid as often as possible."
"And you are the complete opposite?" the doctor suggests. The older man is fidgeting with his glasses but paying undue attentions to the words uttered by Sam.
"Yes. Before this roadtrip began, I had a girlfriend, an offer for a free ride to law school and a good life. Then Dean came along and messed it up." The bitterness in Sam´s words astounds even himself.
Doctor Ellicott furrows his brow. "You decided to risk your relationship and professional future by taking this roadtrip instead?"
When Ellicott puts it that way, it does sound insane to Sam. And yet, it wasn´t the doctor who had to learn to handle a gun by age five, survive on cereal for days when dad left for a hunt but forgot food or constantly deal with being the new weird kid without any friends in each town they went through. That was Sam.
Thr young hunter realizes he made a mistake opening up to a stranger. That is the number one rule in the Winchester rulebook: do not trust anybody that does not share your surname or blood. With easy grace, Sam arises from the couch and is at the door by the time Ellicott stops him with a question.
"How long have you been in love with your brother?"
Sam´s hand is on the doorknob, but he turns at the words uttered by Ellicott.
"Is it that obvious?" he tries to joke but fails misterably. The tension in his body is palpable, his blood is singing in the same way it does in the minutes before a hunt.
The doctor arises from his chair and approaches Sam, putting one hand on the hunter´s shoulder which seems almost fatherly. "You can walk out the door, Sam, and never come back. Or you can talk to me and try to understand what is going on."
Sam nods.
The doctor´s hand falls from Sam´s shoulder before he turns and grabs his jacket. Sam almost believes Ellicott has decided to abandon the rest of the interview, thus him as well, until the doctor dons his coat and opens the door.
"Are you coming?" Ellicott turns to question Sam who follows silently behind the doctor. Ellicott tells his secretary on the way out to cancel the rest of his appoinments for the day and leads Sam out the back door.
A few minutes later, the duo are at a park and Ellicott shows Sam to a bench hidden in some trees overlooking the river. The hunter sits while Ellicott goes and buys them coffee from a nearby stall. He sits down beside Sam and hands him the coffee. There are no other people around on this cloudy afternoon.
Ellicott takes a drink before explaining. "I like to come here on my lunchbreaks. It brings order in a chaotic world. Perhaps your brother does for you what the river does for me."
Sam begins to understand the logic behind Ellicott´s actions as he sips his coffee.
The doctor continues to talk. "My grandmother was from this town and loved it here due to the river. She loved the way it sings she used to say. But grandmother Anne married a man called John who got a job in another state. Grandma Anne wasn´t planning on going with him and told her parents so, but since she was two months pregnant with my mother, they forced her to go. She did, and tried to find a river in the new place that sang like this one did, but no dice."
"What did your grandmother do?" Sam knows that Ellicott has a point with the story. To some people, it might seem Grandma Anne was a little nutters, but after all Sam has seen during his short life, a singing river hardly seems that far-fetched.
"Well, at eight months pregnant she walked back to this town, without telling husband John where she was going. Her parents found her on the back porch one morning, shivering with cold and hunger. They took her in and conceded forcing her to go was bad judgement on their part. Grandma Anne therefore filed for divorce and lived with her parents, taking care of them and her daughter. She never again left the river."
"I kinda understand your grandmother. It´s the same way with Dean."
"How so?" questions the doctor.
"Well, he was always there for me growing up. Our mother died in an accident when I was six months old and we moved around a lot due to my dad´s job. We never lived in the same town for very long."
"It´s not unusual for siblings to lean on one another when they have little socialization with their peers."
The words of Ellicott encourage Sam to continue. The young hunter realizes that the doctor might not understand but at least he empathizes. That is enough. "Because our dad was rarely around, Dean was my whole world during childhood. He was the one who taught me to swim and ride a bike. He gave me the sex talk when I was eleven since dad did not bother with those things. That was the most awkward moment of my life." Sam smiles at the memory. "He helped me with homework and helped me to snag my first girlfriend at fifteen."
"The lines between caretaker and lover can blur under such circumstances. It´s only normal," Ellicott accedes.
"Trust me, wanting to fuck your brother isn´t normal," Sam shoots back and sees how Ellicott does a double-take in his seat.