In the Dark'

by mkim57

This was written in answer to a challenge on the HBX board for January 06. We are to use dialogue from a JAG episode Cece, the boards moderator, chooses for the month, in my story, the chosen dialogue,is written in italics.

In the Dark

Chapter 1/1

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the JAG characters. I don't own any product or label mentioned for the purposes of telling this story. Any similarities to situations or persons living or dead are purely coincidental.

Spoilers: Anything up to mid Season 10. This takes place after 'The Four Percent Solution' but before 'The Sixth Juror."

A/N: This is in answer to Cece's challenge for January 06.

A/N This is not betaed, all mistakes are mine.

Rating T

0630

Friday

January 14, 2005

Capital Beltway

Harm was weaving his Lexus through traffic; it was a cold but clear January night in D.C. He was deep in thought, as he approached the exit for Georgetown. He and Mac had seen each other everyday at work; they even had a few of working dinners together since the holidays. They were spending more time with each other, at home and at work, since her accident on Christmas Eve, and much of their 'closeness' returned but they hadn't crossed the line to a real 'date' yet.

He wanted to take her someplace special, and make it an event, something she would never forget. He was able to secure tickets from Congresswoman Latham for the National Symphony Orchestra at the Kennedy Center. Tonight was his chance to pamper Mac, if she would allow it. He sensed that it was time to move them forward; he just hoped she would be receptive to it.

He parked in front of Mac's apartment, and made his way up the walkway. He looked up at her window to see her looking down, waiting for him. He wondered, for a moment, if she was feeling the same as he. She accepted his invitation, right away, and there was no hesitation.

This 'thing' between them had to work; this had to be their time. For the last couple of months he had this feeling, a feeling that time was truly running out for them and that something would happen in their lives that would change things forever. He wasn't going to take any more chances, he was going to 'make his intentions known,' as Mac would say.

He was at her door in moments, and when she opened the door, what he saw, took his breath away. She stood before him in a deep burgundy red gown. Her hair was swept up from her neck, in a clasp accented with very small and satiny white pearls; there were also single pearls at her ears. He must have looked dazed, because when she spoke, there was concern in her voice.

"Harm?"

"Oh, uh… sorry. You look….beautiful." The gown appeared to be modestly cut, but it fit her curves perfectly, its color perfectly accentuating her skin tone.

Mac smiled, a slight blush creeping up her neck. "Thank you… come in. I'll get my wrap."

Her dress was long sleeved and full length, with a slit on the side, just to her knee. It had a flattering neckline that was not plunging but framed and accentuated her shoulders and collar bones. She wore a simple necklace, a single pearl, a necklace Harm recognized immediately, as a gift he had given her for Christmas, several years ago. When she turned, it revealed that her dress dipped low in back, revealing her strong but delicate form.

When Mac returned with her wrap, Harm took it from her and she turned as he opened it. As she slipped into it, she looked up to see their reflection in the mirror. It was as though they were different people tonight, different but the same. Just Harm and Mac, a couple who wanted nothing more than to spend this evening together.

"You look very nice tonight too, Harm." He looked resplendent in his black tie and tux. Mac thought that Harm completely disproved the old saying that 'clothes make the man.' Harm always seemed to make anything he wore, look great.

Harm smiled at her reflection, his own blush coloring his cheeks. "Thanks, are you ready?"

They were on their way in a matter of minutes. Harm was quiet, but Mac didn't think uncomfortably so. In fact, he had been downright smooth, this evening. Her car door was opened, her safety belt secured and when he got into the vehicle and they had started toward the Kennedy Center, he reached for her hand, lightly gliding his fingers down her forearm and gently clasping her hand.

Tonight, the way he was treating her, made her feel something she had never felt before. She couldn't find the words to describe it, and then it came to her, as he was lifting her hand to his lips. As they were gliding down the Beltway, toward the Kennedy Center, she felt it, all the way to her heart.

She felt treasured, maybe for the first time in her life.

Later that evening….

Harm and Mac's seats were in the upper level, at the center. The night had been perfect, the music only added to the night's enchantment. As they were listening to a soloist play the last of a four movement Bach suite, the lights on the Millennium Stage went completely out, plunging the room into total darkness. The soloist did not stop, though the audience seemed to draw a collective breath. The tension subsided as the last strains were so beautifully played, and the audience was still spellbound by their sound.

Harm could not see Mac, but he could sense her, even more strongly in the dark. He slipped his arm around her and rested his hand on her shoulder. He meant to put her at ease, to let her know he was there, in the dark.

Harm's touch didn't frighten her, its gentleness brought tears to her eyes, even as she fought the reflex to emotionally withdraw. She wondered when this had begun, the compulsion she had to back away. He was showing her everything she knew he was, behind the emotional wall that he had always placed between himself and her. She accepted the gesture, even though opening herself up to it, was bittersweet.

The soloist finished, still in the dark, and the audience carefully stood and applauded as the lighting was restored to the room. The fact that the soloist continued, without a pause and finished beautifully, in pitch black, made the moment that much more mesmerizing.

Mac turned to Harm as they applauded. "Beautiful." Was the only thing she could manage to say. The music, in the dark, seemed to cast a spell over the entire audience and the spell seemed to have a special magic for them.

After the concert, as they walked out of the building Mac took his arm. "Thank you for this, Harm."

Harm placed his hand over hers and smiled at her. "I'm glad you had a good time, it was all I wanted."

Mac didn't trust herself to keep looking at him, the impulse to stop and turn into his arms and kiss him right there was too strong. His eyes hid nothing tonight. He meant to make this night special, for her, she knew now.

"I have to say, I'm a bit surprised, I didn't know you had very much interest in the NSO. I always thought blues guitar was more your style." She looked at him again, her emotions once again, in check.

"It still is. I just wanted to do something special tonight, something out of the ordinary for both of us." He stroked the back of her hand with his own.

"How did you get tickets?" She was aware of every new touch and gesture as they walked along the breezeway to the parking garage.

"I called in a favor; Congresswoman Latham still owes me quite a few."

Mac smiled but did not answer him.

'We can still go to the One Step Down sometime…if you'd like to hear something a little less formal, I mean." Harm looked at her with his eyebrows raised hopefully.

"I'd like that." After tonight, even though the night was far from over, Mac thought she would go, anytime.

In a very short while, Harm pulled Lexus up in front of the Willard Hotel. Without a word, Harm got out of the vehicle and handed his keys to the valet. He came to Mac's side of the vehicle, opened the door and waited as she stepped out.

Mac wasn't quite sure what to make of this turn of events. The Willard……Hotel? She wondered. He suddenly seemed to be taking a lot for granted, but before the thought truly registered itself in Mac's mind, Harm reassured her.

Harm gave her an indulgent smile, having read her thoughts. "We're going to dinner at the Occidental, Mac."

Mac was blushing in earnest now. Sometimes, she wished he didn't know her so well. "I'm sorry."

"It alright, I should have told you, the valet parking is in front of the Willard." With that, he once again offered her his arm, as they made their way into the exclusive restaurant.

The more formal dining rooms were on the second floor. Harm had reserved a table near a window that overlooked Pennsylvania Avenue. The month of January's exfoliated trees, allowed a spectacular view of the Washington Monument.

After they finished their meal, at a candle lit table, Mac could not help wondering aloud. "Harm, what did you have to do to get these reservations? Not to mention this table, the view is fantastic."

"Sorry Mackenzie, that's a state secret, I can't tell you; I'd have to kill you." He waggled his eyebrows and teased her, smiling at her warmly.

Mac laughed and Harm placed his hand over hers. She was having a good time, it was written all over her face, and everything had gone as planned. There was an ease between them they had never had before, even in their better days. It was the beginning of their finally making their way forward; he didn't want to go back to what was before. He wanted to begin again and she seemed perfectly willing to begin again as well. He prayed he was reading her right, that she was ready for this too.

As they waited for the valet to bring the Lexus back around, Mac decided to go out on a limb and make a request. "Harm, would you mind…I mean, everything tonight has been so… perfect." Mac looked away and said. "I don't want it to end."

Harm's brow drew down into a slight frown, unsure what she was going to ask.

"Would you mind, very much, if we went to the One Step Down… tonight?" She knew they were a bit over dressed, but she was hoping to see Varise perform and get at least one dance with Harm, then the night would really be…perfect.

"I don't mind at all, I'm not ready for this night to be over, either." He smiled at her as the valet brought their car around. "We could top this night off with a little more music and at least a few dances." He opened her car door and gave her a wink and walked around the vehicle, taking the keys from the valet.

"You read my mind." She got into the Lexus.

"I'm getting better at that lately, aren't I?" Harm got into the vehicle and secured his seatbelt.

"I have to admit" She placed her hand over his, where it rested on his knee. "You are."

Harm closed his fingers around hers, as they drove toward the night club. Mac was quietly remembering a few instances, during the last few weeks, when Harm had read her very well.

Twice this week, when she was on her way across the bullpen to the break room to get a cup of coffee, Harm was on his way to her office, with coffee for her, made just the way she liked it. He gotten himself a cup as well, but it seemed they were thinking with one mind, at times. It was almost spooky.

Another time, when they were working on a number of case review files in the conference room, Harm would hand her a file, or a pencil or what ever she happened to be thinking of reaching for, even before she asked for it. He would return his attention to his work, seemingly unaware that he had done anything out of the ordinary, and Mac would be sitting there, trying not to stare, with the hair standing up on the back of her neck.

2130

The One Step Down

Georgetown

Harm and Mac entered the small club and were in luck to catch Varise, performing the last of her set that evening.

She joined them at their table after she finished.

"Don't you two look nice, it must have been an occasion." Varise gave Mac a knowing look.

"We just came from the Kennedy Center, we saw the NSO perform. Schumann and a four movement Bach suite" Mac looked at Harm as she spoke, her expression was warm and admiring.

"I'm impressed." Varise looked at Harm who could help returning her smile, as he squirmed a bit uncomfortably in his seat. He had observed the knowing look exchanged between the, much too perceptive, women. Harm could tell that Varise sensed that this wasn't just a 'date,' for either of them

At that moment, Sturgis joined them. He stepped up to Varise and kissed her cheek in greeting and then, looking slightly amused at Harm and Mac, asked, "What have we here?"

Varise answered for them. "They saw the NSO at the Kennedy Center." She raised her eyebrows, unable to keep from teasing Harm a bit. "Schumann…..Bach."

Sturgis was ready spar a bit with Harm, just a bit of good natured pay back for the hard time Harm and Mac gave him, when he was temporary JAG. "So, Harm, how did you come by those tickets? I hear they are pretty hard to get."

Sturgis looked at Mac and asked, "Where were your seats?"

Mac answered innocently, "Upper level, at the center, they were great."

Sturgis looked at Harm, sure he was making him slightly uncomfortable, "There has to be a story here."

Looking at him directly, Harm had been waiting until he got to this question, and he was sure Sturgis wasn't going to like the answer. "I called in a favor."

"A favor? Who do you know that has access to tickets like that?" Sturgis was almost incredulous.

"Well, Sturgis…you know her too. Congresswoman Latham."

Sturgis' smug expression changed immediately to one of barely concealed panic. "Oh."

Varise looked at her slightly discombobulated companion and asked, "You know a Congresswoman? Personally?"

"Oh, uh, yes, I worked with her….a couple of years ago." Sturgis glanced back at Harm and Mac with a pleading look, as if to say, 'don't say a word.'

The next set started, with a nice jazz instrumental and Harm decided that in the name of an old friendship, he'd let Sturgis slide. "Come on Mac, you owe me at least one dance."

Mac smiled and took his hand and they said their goodbyes to Sturgis and Varise, while they proceeded out to the dance floor.

Harm turned Mac easily into his arms as she stepped more closely to him, feeling as though it was the most natural thing in the world to be holding her this way. He held her in a loose embrace, resting his hand low on her back, but not intimately so.

Mac tried to hide her smile, as she felt him move his thumb back and forth, lightly touching the exposed area of her back. She thought she felt a bit of a tremor in his touch, he was a bit nervous after all, she thought.

Harm caught her smile and asked, "care to share?"

"Oh… nothing." She didn't want to expose him, she loved how comfortable he seemed to be, that they had been able to laugh and be at ease with each other for the last few weeks. She didn't want to say anything that would jeopardize that.

Harm reached between them and gently tipped her chin up. "Hey, come on." His expression was full of affection and mirth. "You can tell me."

She quickly remembered Sturgis, and decided to go with that.

"Wasn't that a bit underhanded, Sailor?" She reached up and flattened her palm on his chest and he pulled her closer, resting his other hand on her hip, as the moved in time with the music.

"What?" He knew what she meant; he was about to hear about 'poor Sturgis'.

"Poor Sturgis, I thought he was going to melt down when you mentioned Congresswoman Latham."

Harm chuckled deep in his chest. "He asked for it Mac, and you know it."

Mac smiled knowingly, she knew he had, and Harm blindsided him. Poor Sturgis, he would probably be fielding questions all evening about his relationship with the Congresswoman.

They were both laughing as Harm pulled her closer still, and she answered him. "Yes, I suppose he did."

The music seemed to pull them in, as their laughter subsided; Billie Holiday's 'If You Were Mine' seemed to sweep them up in a sweeter and more sensual spell than what they were feeling, earlier that evening.

Harm touched his lips to Mac's forehead and she leaned tentatively into his intimate, but very chaste kiss, closing her eyes. She never wanted this evening to end.

They both just let themselves be in the moment. There was no past, no future, for both of them there was just the feeling of holding on to the one you loved most in the world.

As the song ended, they slowly and reluctantly parted. Harm looked down into her eyes and asked, "I've never heard this before, do you know it?" He thought he had heard her humming along with the music.

She stood a bit closer and slipped her hands into his, where he held them at his sides and answered, "If You Were Mine." Mac looked into his eyes as if she wished he were… hers.

Harm nodded slightly and started to back away, bringing her along, and leaving the dance floor. The music started again and Mac stopped walking and gave his hands, still holding hers, a slight tug. He looked at her, questioning.

"One more dance?" Mac wanted to be back in his arms, at least one more time, she knew they would be leaving soon.

He nodded his acquiescence, and as they stepped back to center of the dance floor, he pulled her more snugly into his arms, and as they danced, he whispered into her ear, "As many dances as you want, Mac."

He turned her on the dance floor and then recognized the next Billie Holiday tune the band was playing. "I know this one." She stepped back into his embrace and he brushed his cheek against hers.

Mac nodded and pulled back, "The Very Thought of You."

Harm's eyes locked with hers and he looked down at her slightly parted lips. He looked up again at her, silently asking her permission.

Mac raised her lips to meet his and just as they did, the lights in the room went out. Neither of them was aware of anything, but each other. Their lips touched, tasted and asked for more. The dark in the room had, once again, cast its magic spell. They stood still in the semi chaos that seemed to be going on around them, unaware that the music had stopped. Harm pulled her more tightly to him and turned his head slightly to deepen his kiss. Mac met him there and took it deeper still.

The lights came on again, and Mac was vaguely aware of everyone in the room looking at them, but Harm was not. He was only aware of how good she felt in his arms and how sweet her kiss tasted, even after all that had passed between them. As she tried to ease back, he pulled her back in, and Mac could not keep from responding to a passion so long hidden, until tonight.

One of the band members blew a loud riff on his sax, startling both Harm and Mac, causing them to come to their senses and causing Mac to laughingly hide her face in Harm's shoulder. She turned, her face flaming, and holding on to one of his hands, guided Harm back to their table.

As they sat down, Mac looked across the room to see Sturgis giving her a conspiratorial smile. She was sure he was remembering a secret; a long ago secret that she made him promise to keep. Harm caught the direction of Mac's gaze and asked, "What was that?"

She grinned mischievously and placed her hand over his. "I'll tell you sometime…" teasing him.

"Sometime…when?" He leaned closer and spoke into her ear.

Just then a waitress came to their table and Harm reordered what they had before. They had both settled on Mac's usual, soda with a twist.

Mac asked the waitress, "What happened with the lights, we were at the Kennedy Center earlier and they lost their lights for about 3 minutes."

"Looks like some kind of power outage. The manager called the power company, some private plane hit two transformers, it has a lot of people without power tonight. We're lucky that we just had as temporary loss, while they're trying to get everyone back on line."

The waitress looked at Harm and again at Mac and added, "Looks like you were pretty lucky too."

Harm and Mac looked at each other as the waitress walked away, then without a word, turned their attention to the band, which had just resumed playing. They listened to the rest of the set, sitting as closely together as two separate chairs would allow and at one point, with Mac's hand enclosed in both of Harm's.

When the set ended, Harm turned to her. "Are you ready?"

Mac nodded the affirmative, though she still didn't want the evening to end.

As they drove back toward Mac's apartment, she thought of the young man at the Kennedy Center, as he continued playing, going from the bright lights of the stage, to total darkness.

Harm noticed her pensive look. "What is it Mac?"

'I was just thinking about the soloist at the Kennedy Center, about the way he continued, even when the room went dark, he played perfectly."

"It was something." He took her hand and she closed her fingers around his.

"He's like you Harm. No matter what happens, nothing stopped him. The soloist finished the last movement and it was beautiful."

Harm looked at her suddenly, taking her statement for what it was. She was reaching out, instead of pushing him away and he so touched that he was almost speechless. He thought for a long moment and then answered her. "I guess… you could say I was blessed with a lot of inspiration."

Mac immediately thought of his father. "Your father."

"That's true, but just now, I was thinking of…you." They had stopped at a traffic light and Harm turned to look at her.

Mac spoke, his name a whisper on her lips. "Harm."

He leaned in and kissed her, as he traced with the tip of his finger, from her jaw line to her neck.

A horn sounded from the vehicle behind them, breaking the kiss. Harm returned his attention to getting Mac back to her apartment, though he could have sworn he could still feel her lips on his.

They were only a few block from her apartment when they noticed that the houses were all dark and the street lights were out. The only lights were traffic lights blinking either red, or yellow.

"We could go back to my apartment." Harm turned and looked at her hopefully.

"It's okay, I'm sure I'll be fine." If she went with him, she wanted it to be because he wanted her, not because there was a power outage. She had to know, without a doubt, that he wanted her, and not just tonight.

When he parked in front of her darkened building, he turned off the ignition and got out of the vehicle. His mind was working over time to find a way to make the night last longer, as he opened the door on her side of the vehicle and walked her into her building. She used her key light so that she could see to open the door.

"I could stay…I mean until the lights go on. I know you can handle yourself, I'd just feel better knowing you weren't alone." his face was illuminated only by her pen light shining at her door

Mac thought for a moment, she didn't want his staying to be about her safety; she wanted it to be about his not wanting to leave. She looked up into his eyes, trying to read what it was that he really wanted.

"I appreciate your concern for my safety, but don't you think you'd be better off going home and getting a good nights sleep?"

Harm looked away from her, "I wouldn't be able to sleep if I was home, I seldom do."

"Is it because Mattie is gone?"

'Partly, but mostly…" He looked back at her again, his eyes asking her for more time, time with her to explain. Standing in her hallway, in the dark, was no place to explain anything.

"Come in for awhile, I can light candles." Mac was beginning to read his thoughts… even in the dark.

She came in and took off her wrap and Harm followed her; she used her pen light to locate her matches and candles. She placed one candle on her coffee table and the other on her dining room table. Harm was still standing in the middle of the room, Mac took his hand and led him to the couch and she sat down next to him.

Harm looked at her, at the face that now seemed to be so open to him; it was time, to tell her how he felt, before it was too late. "I'm not sleeping as much, mostly because of… you…"

Mac waited for him to finish.

"Because of 'us' and there is an 'us' Mac, I keep thinking…feeling... that if we don't finally acknowledge this, something could separate us…forever."

"You're never going to lose me, Harm." She took his hand in hers.

"Until last year, I never thought so either Mac, I thought we always had time, but I don't believe that anymore."

"What do you want?" A question she had asked before, and had received an evasive answer.

"I want what I told you I wanted at the Admiral's Dining Out. I want to be in your life…I want there to be a tangible…'us.' I want…" Harm pulled her into his arms. "Mac… I…" He searched her face, still trying to find the perfect way to say what was in his heart.

Mac saw him struggling, with the words on the tip of his tongue. She reached up and softly caressed his cheek. "I love you too, Harm."

Harm let out a breath, relief, gratitude and pure love flooding his entire being. "I do…I have for so long. Mac… I don't want to wait anymore. Please… tell me we can do this, tell me that we can move forward, starting now."

Mac looked into his eyes and leaned in more closely to him, she whispered, "We can, I don't want to lose you Harm. I don't want to lose this." She kissed him, and he opened his mouth slightly, allowing her to deepen her kiss, reveling in the freedom to kiss her, touch her and hold her. Passion and desire surged and then he plunged deeper, pulling her body almost on top of his.

The light on the end table, that Mac left on before she left for their date, suddenly came back on causing them to break their kiss. Mac smiled at Harm knowingly, as she reached up and turned the light off. He kissed her, hungrily, the darkness taking away any inhibition. He let go, showing her with his kisses, what he still couldn't find the words to say.

After a few minutes, Mac eased back from his embrace and stood, she held out her hand to him. Harm looked up at her, unsure if she was going to guide him to her front door, or to her bedroom. His question was answered quickly, after he stood up and Mac reached up and loosened his tie, pulling it from his collar.

Mac stepped back from him and began to pull her dress down from one shoulder and then the other, as she continued to step back ward to her bedroom. She could see, even in the soft candlelight, the full blown desire on his face. He stepped toward her pulling his jacket off and leaving it where it fell.

As she pulled the dress further from her shoulders, she stretched, revealing soft curves, muscle and sinew as she slipped her body completely out of the dress. She could hear Harm whisper her name and step closer, his eyes never leaving her.

By the time she was at her bedroom door, she stood in only the tiniest pair of underwear in the same shade of burgundy as her dress had been. She picked up her gown from the floor and tossed it away, waiting.

Harm stepped out of what was left of his tux and she reached for his hand and pulled him into the darkened room. The darkness had cast the spell again, and even though there was no music, they made some of their own. Each of them, in their secret heart, they held the desire to hear their own names on the lips of the other, in the throes of passion, no longer under control. It was all they ever wanted.

And it was magic….in the dark.

FIN

A/N: The soloist who played at Kennedy Center is loosely based on a real person's experience written about in Indianapolis Monthly, this month. January 06. No copyright infringement is intended.