I've been wanting to write this for a very long time. It was actually the first plot that came to me after the movie. dunno why I havent done it until now. It's taking place after the movie. For you who are following 'Brotherly love', I havent forgotten about it. I just really wanted to take the time to write this down
Thor glanced out over the darkening landscapes of Asgard. The sun was slowly setting in the distance, drowning everything in a beautiful red light. But he couldnt appreciate it. Not tonight. Not lately. It had been days since his brother had disappeared, but even so, the pain didnt seem to subdue. Rather increase for each day that passed. He placed his hands on the cold railing in front of him and inhaled the night air. So much had happened lately. It was still hard to believe that it all really did. He had been thinking about Jane, wondering how she was doing. Wondering if she was thinking about him too... However, since he knew that she was safe down on Earth, his thoughts always went to Loki and he found himself missing him so much that his interest in the girl was fading in comparison. He wished more than anything that his brother was still there with him.
Later that evening, Thor was spending his dinner in silence, rather poking the food around with his fork than eating any of it. He didnt have any apatite anymore, although his stomach protested because of hunger. The atmosphere had definitely been more gloomy since Loki's disappearance and everything that had happened around it. Everyone was a bit down. But being a bit down was a mild expression for the pain that Thor and his parents were experiencing. He knew that his mother had been crying but he wasnt sure of how Odin was cooping with it all. All he knew was that he missed his brother so terribly much and his heart ached in a way that he couldnt remember ever having experienced before in his life.
"Arent you going to eat something?" came Sif's soft voice from his right side, bringing him back to the present.
"I'm not really hungry...", Thor replied with a heavy sigh, trying to block out the chattering voices in the background.
"Come on, Thor. That's what you've been saying for days now."
"Leave him alone, Sif", Volstagg joined in.
"Yeah ...give him a break. He just lost his brother", Fandral added and Sif was quiet for a moment then, a little offended-looking.
"He still needs to eat", she insisted then. Growing tired of his friends' bickering, Thor decided that he needed some time alone. He wasnt in the mood for this right now.
"Excuse me", he said as he got up, leaving without a word. He just expected them to understand. And if they didnt...then..well. He couldnt care less at the moment. The pain was too unbearable and he wanted to deal with it alone. His friends stared after him for a while before Fandral finally broke the silence.
"Now you scared him off", he said but Sif just rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the food on her plate.
A while later, Thor went to bed, still haunted by horrible memories and guilt. The pain was almost at its worst at night. When he was lying there alone in his bed, only accompanied by the darkness and sometimes by the light tapping of raindrops on the window. He really needed to distract himself from thinking about it too much, somehow...
xXx
A sudden sound made him open his eyes wide and he realized that he must have fallen asleep. A repeated knocking on the other side of the door reached his ears and he wondered who would want to speak to him at this time at night. In the darkness, he stumbled out of bed and to the door. At first, the corridor outside seemed empty but once his eyes had adapted to the dark, he could see a guard standing there before him.
"Sire, I need you to come with me at once", the man announced, sounding relatively calm due to the obviously urgent matter. Thor squinted his eyes a little.
"What's going on?" he slurred, a bit more alert now, wondering.
"Come with me", Thor silently obliged but couldnt keep his mouth shut for too long. "Why have you waken me? Is it my father who wants to see me?"
"No...we were to inform you only", the guard replied without giving Thor any information whatsoever about the situation as they marched on through the dark corridors.
"About what?" Thor demanded, clearly irritated. He had hardly gotten any sleep lately and when he finally managed to get some rest, someone just had to disturb him. Great..
"There is someone who wishes to see you", the guard replied calmly but wouldnt reveal any further details to Thor, who was even more irritated and frustrated than before, but he quickly followed the man in silence. He couldnt imagine who would want to see him at this hour at night. But whoever it was, they should know what a terrible mistake they had made by waking him from his only escape from pain.
xXx
Soon, they reached the hall which was leading towards the big gates of the palace and Thor's eyes landed upon a dark figure that could be seen standing before the doors. Two other guards were positioned at each side of the figure. The man who had taken Thor there, stopped suddenly, a distance away, silently signaling that this was the person who wanted to see him. Squinting his eyes a little, Thor took a careful step forward while trying to make anything out in the dark. The figure wasnt moving. No one was moving except for himself and he was feeling very uneasy by the whole situation.
"...Who are you..?" he demanded with a slightly unsteady voice as he walked closer. he was soon beginning to recognize this person though. His heart suddenly took a huge leap as if it was trying to break out of his chest and his eyes widened at the sight of his brother. At first, he couldnt get any words out in pure shock and Loki said nothing either. He was just standing there, pale as snow, looking regretful and weak, as if he was using the last of his strength to keep himself standing.
"...Loki..?" Thor breathed in total shock, wondering if this was just another dream. It had to be. He was beginning to tremble slightly as he approached his brother. The miserable look on Loki's face brought tears to his eyes. "...How...?" he stuttered as he closed up on him, and Loki swallowed, slowly opening his mouth.
"I'm sorry...", was all that he said, whispering so quietly that it could hardly be heard, and his lower lip trembled a little. Thor's hands were trembling as well, as he reached out and placed them on each side of his brother's face, as if to make sure that he was really real. And not just an hallucination. A slight smile of relief appeared on his face then, when he was able to confirm that Loki was really there. And tears began to stream down his face.
"Forgive me...", Loki pleaded with a weak voice, feeling a lone tear rolling down his own cheek. He felt so much regret and remorse and no excuse in the whole world would make everything ok again. He really didnt have the right to ask for forgiveness but he needed it so badly. The hands on his face suddenly moved down to his back, pulling him into a tight hug. When he heard Thor cry, he couldnt stop his own tears from falling. So wrapping his arms around his brother, he silently wept, burying his face in his shoulder.
"I thought I had lost you..", came Thor's muffled voice, thick with tears, but Loki didnt know what to say. He had screwed up. Badly. And there was nothing he could say that would make it ok. They were standing there for a long time, just holding each other close, but it was almost beginning to hurt Loki as Thor seemed to be holding on for dear life. As if he was afraid that he would maybe lose his brother again if he let him go. That familiar, comforting smell of Thor made Loki's heart ache, but also made him relieved to be home and together with him yet again.
Taking a deep, shuddery breath, he opened his mouth, not really knowing what to say but, just wanting to say anything. Anything to make up for what he had done. But he closed it at the sudden sound of approaching footsteps and he looked up over Thor's shoulder to see Sif and Fandral appearing from behind the corner. Their shocked expressions when they spotted him almost overshined Thor's and they both stopped dead in their tracks. Slowly, Loki allowed Thor to withdraw from the hug and to turn around to face their friends.
"What is he doing here?" Sif said in shock, her eyes widened. "I thought he was dead", both brothers were a bit caught off guard but Thor recovered quickly, ready to defend his brother. However, he fell silent at the sight of Hogun and Volstagg showing up around the corner as well.
"What is going on here?" the latter asked, but they soon stopped too, just as stunned by the sight of Loki, as Sif and Fandral had been.
"Loki?" the two brothers glanced at each other and Thor was yet again about to defend him when Loki spoke up before him.
"...I dont expect any of you to... forgive me..", he said honestly, with a weak voice. He then made a pause, turning his eyes to the floor. "But I..."
"Enough", Thor interrupted, glancing around at everyone. He sensed that this conversation could take an ugly turn. "Look...", he started again. "I think we have all suffered enough...I dont want any more fights", their friends exchanged looks before turning their eyes back to a teary eyed Thor and the man took a deep, shuddery breath before continuing. "I would like to talk to my brother in privacy...If you dont mind...", Sif looked more skeptical than shocked now.
"Yeah...you do that...", she shot Loki a deadly glare, but the man showed no signs of being intimidated. She then turned on her heels and marched away. The others slowly retreated as well, looking a little torn between staying and going. Thor was torn too, between his friends and his brother, as he watched them all leave with a displeased expression on his face. But once they were gone, he turned his attention to Loki and their eyes met in silence. Slowly, he placed his hands on his brother's shoulders.
"We must tell father and mother", he said with a bit of joy in his voice, but Loki looked afraid suddenly. Taking a step backwards, he shook his head.
"No... not tonight...", he pleaded, and the small smile on Thor's face quickly faded. He was confused at first but was soon beginning to understand why his brother hesitated.
"Loki...", Thor's expression saddened a little. "There are no words to describe how happy it would make them to see you again", but Loki still looked worried. "They've been mourning you as much as I have...", he squeezed his brother's shoulders a little. "...They dont hate you...", the look on his younger brother's face told him that he wasnt believing him and it also revealed an inner struggle. Loki slowly opened his mouth after a while.
"I hope you are right...", he replied finally, quietly and Thor gave him a weak smile.
"I know I am."
xXx
A while later, Thor had finally managed to convince Loki to see Odin tonight, and not tomorrow morning, which Loki had insisted on. He wasnt too happy about the idea. After all that had happened, all he wanted was to go to bed...Where he could feel safe and at home again...but his brother wouldnt let him. The biggest problem wasnt that he was tired or that it would be troublesome. Those were insignificant matters. No, he was scared... Terrified of what their father would say or do to him... Afraid that he would be rejected...
As if Thor had been able to read his mind, he broke the silence with a few words.
"You know... father hasnt been able to do any of his daily duties since you disappeared...", this caught Loki's attention and he glanced slightly at Thor. "And mother has been crying...", Loki looked away at this. A wave of extreme guilt washed over him, but still he was skeptical. He just couldnt get the idea of them hating him, out of his mind. How could they miss him when they knew what he had done? He had done it for a good cause though...All he had wanted was to be worthy in the eyes of their father...
And Thor..? He had been jealous of him. So jealous that his mind had been clouded by hate and the feeling of being loved less by their parents. He had hurt his brother because of all of this, even though he loved him really. But it's hard to love someone when you feel that nothing you do can compete with the acts of this other person.
"I'm sorry to hear that", he replied quietly, in a monotone voice as he had a hard time believing in what his brother had just told him. He could feel Thor watching him, as if he expected something. An explanation of course. But Loki remained quiet. It was awkward and it was weird for him too, but what could he do? He didnt know what to say...He didnt want to say anything right now.
When they eventually reached their father's throne room, Loki's heart began to pound hard in his chest and he started to feel nauseous. He just wanted to run away from it all...But he knew he couldnt.
"Are you sure...we cant wait until tomorrow?" he whispered and Thor who was already reaching out towards the door, turned his head back to look at him.
"No... father shouldnt suffer any longer", he then turned back and pushed the door slightly so that it was opening slowly. At this, Loki quickly moved to hide behind Thor and the door, not wanting to be exposed to anyone who might be inside. Before Thor could even address Odin, the man's voice reached them from far inside the room.
"My son...", came a tired voice. "Please be gone... I have no wish to see anyone...", he sounded weary and down, but Thor still pushed the door open some more and when he noticed that Loki was standing behind him rather than next to him, he gave him a nudge forward and into the room. Odin, who had been having his head bowed down and one hand covering his eyes, was now raising his head, slightly irritated.
"Thor.. did I not tell y-", he stopped in mid sentence when his eyes landed upon Loki in the doorway. Thor gave him another small push forward, which Loki countered with throwing an angry glance at his brother before turning his eyes back to their father. Slowly, unsteadily, Odin raised from the chair without taking his eyes off his youngest son.
"Loki..?" he uttered this with a trembling, shocked voice before taking a slow, wary step down from the throne, looking as if he had seen a ghost.
"Father..", Loki's voice was trembling too as he slowly made his way to the end of the stairs, where he kneeled down. He was keeping his head bowed though, still petrified with fear. In the doorway, Thor was watching them silently. He wanted to be by his brothers side but at the same time, he felt that this was something between Odin and Loki and he didnt want to interfere. He was soon distracted by something else however. A warm hand was suddenly placed on his shoulder and he turned to see Sif standing there, meeting his eyes in a dead serious silence. The girl's gaze then traveled away and to the scene inside the room, but Thor's eyes still lingered on her for another moment, wondering why she had come.
"You're alive...", Odin breathed as he descended the stairs and stopped a short distance from Loki. But there was a questioning tone in his voice, as if he wasnt sure that it was really real. This wasnt the reality that he had been used to for the past days.
"Yes father...", Loki replied very quietly, sounding so vulnerable down there by the floor. He could feel Odin's eyes on him, but not knowing whether they were unforgiving or relieved to see him. He didnt dare to find out. He felt numb and he felt himself trembling slightly as the echoing sound of footsteps approached. Odin was very close now, watching his son, stunned by the emotions and thoughts that fought for dominance inside of him, but his eyes soon adapted a harsh look.
"You stupid boy!" he roared, causing Loki to flinch and look up at his father with eyes widened in fear. "Do you realize what you have done?" With a heavy heart, now pounding faster and harder than ever, Loki opened his mouth and looked at Odin with teary, remorseful eyes. But nothing came out. He wanted to defend himself but he hadnt had much time to think up any excuses. He didnt even know where to begin to explain himself. From the doorway, Thor and Sif were still watching in tense silence, wondering about the outcome.
"I'm sorry...", Loki stuttered and lowered his eyes again, not being able to meet his father's harsh look. "but I did it for you...", he dared to look up again, struggling to keep the tears from falling. "...I only wanted to prove to you that I was a worthy son...", he said with a hoarse voice and Odin's expression slowly changed at this. To a more soft, but confused one. He then opened his mouth to speak but Loki interrupted him.
"... So that you would love me ...", he paused here before continuing, but his last words were hardly above a whisper. " ...as much as you love Thor..." great shock displayed in Odin's features at this announcement and he was momentarily stunned by this indication that he would love his first born son more. It was also shocking for Thor's ears. Sure, he had known since their fight that Loki had been struggling to show that he was just as good as him, even though there was nothing for him to prove. Because he was a talented, brave man, just as good as any other warrior. But it wasnt until now that he was also realizing, with a broken heart, that Loki had felt less loved by their father. It made Thor feel terribly guilty. Because he had been chosen to be the new king, and not Loki... He could understand his brother's agony.
"What is this all about...?" came Odin's more quiet tone of voice now, but there were still hints of anger in it and he kneeled down to Loki's level. "What is this you're accusing me of?" he got no answer however as Loki was keeping his head bowed, too ashamed to meet his father's eyes.
"Would I not love you as much as I love Thor?" he sounded a bit more angry now, offended, but was still keeping his voice down. Loki covered his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt, still not answering and his body began to tremble slightly.
"If you would have known the endless pain that I have suffered from... since I lost you", Odin spoke in a very gentle voice suddenly and a hand was reached out to carefully stroke at Loki's hair. His eyes were teary by the overwhelming relief of seeing someone so precious to him being alive and well. Someone who he had thought that he had lost forever. The only response he got was the snuffling sounds erupting from Loki as he hadnt been able to hold the tears inside him any longer. Odin himself had to struggle not to let any tears fall as he gently pulled Loki to him in a comforting embrace.
"...It's alright", he murmured quietly, holding him tight, letting him cry. Loki held onto his father, letting out shuddery breaths as he wept. He had been slightly relieved of his pain, and his fear was gone as well. He never would have imagined that Odin would be so forgiving and he couldnt feel that he deserved it. Still, it was the only thing that he really needed right now and so he accepted it.
In the doorway, Thor and Sif were still lingering, both moved by the scene before them. Thor even had to struggle not to cry again, but he was glad that everything seemed to be ok between his father and brother. That was all that mattered... Sif's hand gently landed upon his shoulder again and when he turned to meet her eyes, she nodded her head towards the corridor outside, suggesting that they leave Odin and Loki alone. Thor silently obliged but he had to throw one last glance at his family in there before finally following her outside.
I'm planning on updating this, if anyone wants to read more that is. Anyway, tell me what you thought of it?