Title: Revelations
Summary: Castle reveals a secret. How will Beckett react? Will it tear them apart, or bring them closer?
Disclaimer: I don't own most of the characters I write about. If you recognize a name, odds are it isn't mine. But seeing as this is a fanfic website, you probably knew that already.
Thanks again to Sunshiny-Kate, the best beta a writer could ask for!
"Hey, Beckett, Do you have any plans tonight?" Castle asked from his chair.
She looked up from her paperwork. He was staring back at her, waiting for her reply.
"Yes." She answered simply.
"Oh." He looked down and she could tell he was thinking carefully about what to say next. "Can you change them?"
"Why?" She set her pen down and leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms and biting the inside of her lip to keep a smile from forming.
"Never-mind. You're busy. Forget I asked." He stood up and started walking away.
"Where are you going?" She called out. She hadn't meant to upset him.
He turned back and raised a single eyebrow.
"Just to fix us some coffee."
"Okay." She stood and followed him. "I'll come too. I could use a break."
He smiled and waited for her to catch up and then they walked into the break-room together. She leaned against the counter and watched him work his magic. He really did make a good cup of coffee, and the way he handled the often temperamental machine was just one of his many admirable qualities.
"Here you are. One fresh cup-o-joe, straight from the horse's mouth."
"I don't believe that's the proper way to use that expression." Beckett said with a smile as she took the piping hot beverage from him.
"Meh. Close enough." He said with a shrug.
"Okay, spill it. What's up, Castle?"
"What do you mean?"
"You used a turn of phrase incorrectly, and didn't even care. You are the Nazi of grammar Nazis, so I know something is wrong."
"Nothing is wrong."
"Are you upset because I have plans tonight?"
"You know, Detective, not everything is about you." He tried to sound serious, but the corners of his mouth turned up ever so slightly.
She rolled her eyes and got up to leave.
"Be like that then. I have work to do. Thanks for the coffee."
"Beckett, wait." She didn't stop. "Kate."
She froze. Whenever he used her first name, no matter the situation, it sent the most delightful chills through her body. She took a moment to suppress her feelings and turned back to face him.
"What, Castle?" She asked, her tone not nearly as assertive as she wanted it to be.
"Yes. I am bummed that you have plans tonight. I wanted to invite you over for dinner. Alexis and Mother are out of town and I have some things I want to tell you." He stood and walked over to her, stopping only when he was a mere six inches away. "No, not want. Need. I have some things I need to tell you." He spoke so softly that she barely heard him.
She swallowed hard. She was pretty confident that the tone of his voice was evidence that he was tired of waiting around to be with her. He was ready to act. She had never been more scared and excited all at once. All she could think of was what she had said to Dr. Burke. She was ready too. She just needed to take a leap of faith. And who better to catch her than the man she loved?
"Castle, I was just messing around with you. My plans for tonight were to eat dinner and watch some t.v., maybe do some reading." She paused to lick her suddenly dry lips. Her heart fluttered when she noticed his eyes following her tongue's movements. "I'd love to come over. If the offer still stands."
"Of course it does." A smile spread across his face. He looked like the proverbial kid at Christmas. "How much longer do you have to work?"
She looked at her wrist and read the time off of her father's watch. She glanced back at the stack of paperwork on her desk.
"It's just after five now. I'd really like to work until six. I have got to get some more of that paperwork done. Is that okay?"
"Sure. If you don't need me here, I'll go on home and get things ready."
"Why would I need you here? You don't do paperwork."
"Good point." He laughed and she joined in. "All right then. What do you want to eat?"
"Surprise me."
"My dear Detective." He reached out and gently took hold of her hand. Both noticed that she didn't pull away, but neither said anything about it, so Castle continued. "Tonight shall be full of surprises."
He proved his point by lifting their joined hands and lightly placed his lips to her fingers. Before she could respond he was gone, practically running towards the elevator. She stepped out into the main room.
"See you around 6:30?" She called out after him.
"Sounds perfect!" He replied from across the room as the silver doors slid shut.
She walked back to her desk, glad that the boys of Ryceposito weren't there to witness the exchange that had taken place. She sat down and forced herself to concentrate on the pile of papers on her desk. Although she looked at her watch every few minutes, she was still able to finish most of her back log of forms by six. At 6:04 she was in her car headed to Castle's. She was unsure of where the night might lead, but she was ready for anything. Or so she thought.
"Kate! Hi." Castle said as he swung open the door.
"Hi, yourself." She replied as she walked in and shrugged off her coat.
He took it from her and hung it in the front closet.
"I couldn't decide on what to have for dinner so I ordered out."
"What did you order?" She asked.
"Pizza, pasta, Mexican, Chinese, Greek, Italian, sushi, hotdogs and hamburgers."
"Surely you aren't being serious."
"I'm being serious as a heart attack. And don't call me Shirley."
She rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help laughing. Castle walked towards the kitchen and she followed him. The feast he had described was nowhere to be seen. All that was on the counter were two empty wine glasses next to an unopened bottle.
"Where is this smorgasbord? "
"On the way. I asked for it to be delivered at seven. Is that okay?"
"Of course."
"Good. Because I wanted to talk before dinner got here." He pulled the cork from the bottle and poured some of the deep red liquid into each of the glasses. He handed one to her and pointed to the living room. "Let go to the couch."
This time Beckett led the way and as they sat down she observed Castle. He was fidgeting and having a hard time settling into his seat. Her well-trained mind read his body language as clear as if she were reading one of his books. He was nervous. And that made her nervous. Wasn't he going to tell her he loved her? That shouldn't make him nervous. He'd already told her once. Of course, she was bleeding out and he didn't know she'd heard him. She sucked in a quiet breath. What if he'd found someone else? What if she was wrong about thinking he still loved her? She couldn't stand the suspense any longer. She had to know why he'd invited her over.
"Out with it, Castle. Let's hear whatever it is that's on your mind." She demanded.
He took a long drink of his wine, and it was nearly half gone when he pulled it from his now slightly stained lips. He swallowed and took a deep breath. He let the air out slowly and locked eyes with her.
"I have a confession to make, Kate."
Oh no. Her first name. He wasn't kidding around. This really was serious. Kate's mind hit every scenario for what he was about to say in a span of a few seconds. Except for one.
"Okay." She said, trying to hide the excited worry in her voice.
He set his glass down on the coffee table and clasped his hands together.
"I...um...I have been wanting to tell you something, but I didn't think you were ready, and I wanted to protect you. But I can't keep it to myself any longer. I can't do it alone anymore and I need your help."
He stopped and put his hands against his mouth. Beckett sat her glass next to his and put a hand on his knee.
"Go on, Castle. You can tell me anything."
He looked down at her hand and placed his on top of it. He smiled, looking encouraged by her words.
"I have new information in your mother's case." Her hand flew out from under his. He continued talking anyway. "I never stopped working on it. And I think I'm really on to something."
"Please tell me this is some kind of sick joke." She interjected, her voice low and angry.
"No. I have some new evidence. Indisputable evidence. I think I know who ordered the hit on her." He scooted closer to her. "I think I know who the dragon is."
She stood up. She needed to get away from him.
"You lied to me."
"I had no choice."
"Bull-crap."
He stood up as well and reached for her but she stepped back.
"I'm not kidding around, Kate. I had to keep you out of it. For your own safety."
"I'm a cop, Castle. I can take care of myself." She hissed.
His nostrils flared as his emotions grew wild.
"Yeah, you've done such a great job of that lately."
Her mouth dropped open in shock. Without another word she turned and went to the front hall.
"Perfect!" Castle yelled after her. "Walk away. Take the easy way out. That's your problem, Kate. You won't face your issues. You just ignore them. You don't think about how it affects those around you to watch you suffer and struggle instead of letting us help you."
She looked at him as she put her coat on. He watched her push each button through it's proper slot in the cloth. When she was done she turned the doorknob and opened the front door.
"Goodbye, Castle."
And then she was gone. The door didn't slam. A barely audible click was all he heard. And that made it even worse. He collapsed back to the couch and put his head in his hands. He'd completely screwed this night up. He knew she'd be surprised, but he thought she'd be happy about the lead. A few minutes of silent self-hating later his doorbell sounded. He stood and ran to the door.
"I am so sorry, Kate." He said as he opened the door. "I shouldn't have said thos-"
He stopped when he realized that it wasn't Kate who had come to his door. Instead he was apologizing to seven strangers laden with bags of food. He sighed and reached for his wallet.
"Listen, guys, I'm really sorry. But I gave the wrong address. You know the homeless shelter two blocks over?" They all nodded. "Take all this over there. Give me the checks."
They each set down enough of what they were carrying to hand over the requested pieces of paper. He gave each of them three times what he owed them.
"That should cover it. Keep the change. Sorry again for the mix-up."
He shut the door and the seven confused delivery boys squeezed themselves back into the elevator.
Beckett's mind was racing as she drove through the darkened city streets.
How could Castle be so inconsiderate? What was he thinking?
She stopped at a light that was only yellow. She wasn't in a hurry. She didn't want to go home, the precinct would be nearly empty, her dad was on a trip with some of his friends and all of her friends were busy.
She huffed out a loud breath and pressed down the gas pedal as the light changed to green.
She didn't know why she was surprised. In all the time she'd known Castle, he'd never been one to let things go.
She glanced at herself in the rear-view mirror. She saw tears on her cheeks that she hadn't felt fall. She wiped them away angrily. She looked at the empty passenger seat and shook her head.
She knew that he was just trying to help but she would have thought he'd learned by now not to keep things from her when it came to her mother's case.
She didn't notice the other traffic light she was coming up on until she saw the red hue spread over the hood of her car. She stopped and pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers.
She didn't really have a right to be mad at him. She had lied to him too, after all. She knew that was why she was so upset. She felt guilty about lying and being mad at him for the doing same thing.
A blaring horn alerted her to the fact that the light was now green. She started foward again, still with no destination in mind. She kept driving aimlessly, her thoughts and feelings jumbled, all except for one thought that kept coming back to her.
He had basically put his life on hold for her. He loved her, and he knew he couldn't be with her until her mother's case was solved, yet he kept her away from it. She didn't know what he had meant when he said he'd lied to keep her safe, but she knew that whatever his reasonings were, he had only her best interests in mind.
She thought again about her conversations with Dr. Burke and all the things she'd admitted to him and to herself. A sudden jolt of clarity hit her like lightning. She knew what she needed and wanted to do. She only hoped she wasn't too late.
Castle groaned when his doorbell buzzed again. He decided to pretend he didn't hear it. But after it sounded three more time in less than a minute, he picked himself up off the couch and went to the door. The moment the knob was turned the door flew open, almost knocking him over. Before his brain could even try to process why Beckett had just burst back into his apartment she shut the door again, this time with a slam.
Then his brain went from confused to completely shut down as her lips crashed into his. Colors exploded behind his eyelids and his toes literally curled. It only took a second for his mind to wake back up, and then he took over the kiss. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, and the moan that escaped her throat at his touch nearly caused him to again lose all ability to form coherent thoughts.
Her hands were in his hair, teasing the soft strands with the nimblest of fingers. She moved them to his neck, his tension melting as she massaged the muscles gently. She parted her lips at the request of his tongue, and he happily explored the new territory.
Their breathing grew ragged as time progressed. The raw emotion pouring from them was exhausting and they finally had to break apart. Darkened blue eyes locked onto desire-filled brown ones. Still panting, Castle began to speak.
"Kate. I am so sorr-"
His second attempt at apologizing for what he had said was interrupted as she pressed her lips to his again. He somehow pulled her even closer and they seemed to become one. They breathed in tandem, sharing air like a pair of scuba divers with only one tank. When that technique stopped working and they were gasping for air, they pulled their swollen lips apart from one another's.
Leaning her head against his chest, she sighed happily. But without the delightful distraction of his lips, her mind immediately turned to more somber thoughts.
"I'm the one who should be sorry, Castle." She looked back up at him. "I had no right to be angry."
"Of course you did. I went behind your back. I lied to you."
"Yeah, but I knew you were looking into her case still."
"What?" He asked.
"Well, I mean I knew you wouldn't stop. When you told me to be patient, that we'd get them sometime, I knew then that you would still be working on it. I just didn't want to admit it."
"Why?"
"Because I felt better knowing I wasn't the only one with a secret. The only one lying. I've been lying to you too, and my reasons, unlike yours, are totally self-serving." She sighed again. "I remember."
"Remember what?"
"Everything. About the shooting." She looked down, ashamed of the words as she said them.
He placed a finger under her chin and lifted up, bring her gaze back to his face.
"I know." He said softly.
"What?" She echoed his question.
"I never believed you had forgotten."
"Why?" She unintentionally parroted him again.
"You don't forget. It's why you keep those elephants on your desk, isn't it? To remind yourself to never forget? You remember every victim you ever seek justice for. You remember their families, and you even remember the bad guys you put away. So why would your own case be any different?"
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Same reason you didn't say anything to me. Deep down, we both knew the other would tell us when they were ready. I guess tonight we both were ready to share."
"Aren't you angry that I lied?"
"No." He kissed her forehead. "A little hurt, but not angry. And sad."
"Sad?"
"Yeah. Sad that we had to wait to kiss like that."
She didn't try to hide the smile that flew onto her face.
"That was pretty nice, wasn't it?"
"That is officially the understatement of forever."
"Maybe we should get out of your front hall and start making up for lost time." She said as she stepped from his embrace and took off her coat.
"If you insist." He said with a laugh. "Oh, I kind of sent our dinner away. Do you want me to cook something?"
She didn't ask what he meant by sent it away, but shook her head in answer to his question.
"Okay." He took her hand in his and they started to walk towards the living room when he stopped suddenly. "Oh, I need to tell you what I found out about your mother's case!"
She smiled up at him.
"It can wait until tomorrow. Perhaps you could tell me over breakfast?"
"In bed?"
"I can't think of a better way to have breakfast."
"Neither can I." He said with his own smile.
She tugged on his hand and changed direction so they were now headed to his bedroom. He shut the door behind them just in case Alexis and his mother decided to come home earlier than they had planned tomorrow. Then he joined her where she was standing next to his bed.
He placed a gentle kiss to her lips. She smiled and kissed him back.
"One more thing." She said.
"Anything." He whispered before kissing away the single tear that had fallen from her eye.
"I love you too, Rick."