Disclaimer: I do not own The Binding of the Blade series. The books and their characters are all owned by L.B. Graham.
Just a one-shot on what Bryar possibly could have felt about Saegan. The words in italics are taken directly from All My Holy Mountain and there are some major spoilers about that book in this segment, so don't read this if you haven't finished the series yet. :)
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I tightened a few straps on my saddle, making sure that it would not slip. One could not be too careful when setting out to ride into the heat of battle. I was not going to be killed because of a saddle mishap.
Granted, it more than likely didn't matter what kind of shape my gear was in, I was probably going to die today. In fact, I expected it. And I wasn't afraid...but I also didn't long for death as I used to when Kelvan's death was still fresh in my mind. It was an almost neutral attitude I had towards death now. As I had told Saegan earlier, "If we fall, we fall." At least we would die honorably.
I paused in my preparations as Saegan's face floated to the forefront of my mind. Poor Saegan. I knew he still loved me, no matter how hard he tried to conceal it. But he also respected me enough to not press the issue.
He was a good man. He was everything that a woman could ask for. And if I had never met Kelvan, if we lived in a different time...
I shook my head. There was no use thinking such thoughts now. We were facing death this day and I had to be brave, I had to because...
"I wanted to hear your marvelous fortitude and certainty one more time, just in case we do fall." Saegan's voice sounded in my ears as I recalled our earlier conversation. "I wanted to ride to war with your voice echoing in my head. I wanted to see the look on your face, fierce and determined and so full of confidence."
Thinking about it now, I allowed myself to blush like I hadn't then. He loved me just as surely as he had when he kissed me those many years ago. And, though I could not return his love, I could fight fearlessly by his side to give him the courage to persevere.
Today was a day to give my all to, for Kelvan and for Saegan, the two men dearest to my heart.
"Are you ready?" Saegan's soft voice broke into my thoughts. He was mounted on his horse just a couple feet away.
I swung myself up into my saddle and urged my horse over to him. "Of course."
He gave a short nod and nudged his mount into a gallop, with me following close behind, just like second shadow.
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As soon as I saw the dark form of Farimaal emerge from the foes surrounding us to block our path, I knew for certain that I was going to die. I had thought for a fleeting moment as Saegan and I ran for the gap that the dragons had made for us that we would make it...but this man in the strange armor put all thoughts of escaping far from my mind.
I barely managed to dodge his first strike, skipping nimbly out of the path of his deadly blade. My heart was racing with adrenaline and a touch of nervousness, but no fear. I was at peace with death, so let this Farimaal do his worst.
I blocked his next strike, but only partially, and the angle at which his weapon hit mine sent my own sword flying out of my hands. The sudden loss of balance caused me to stumble and fall to the ground. As I stared up at Farimaal, all I could think was, This is it.
But it did not end there, for Saegan came to my rescue, slashing deftly at the dread captain. I scrambled away while he was distracted, searching desperately for my sword.
It was hard to see with so many people and creatures fighting around me but I finally spotted my sword lying not five feet from me. I dove for it, bruising up my elbows and knees. I hardly noticed, all that was running through my mind was, Help Saegan! Help him!
My fingers grasped the hilt of my weapon and I was up and running with it before I had even fully gotten a good grip on the handle.
Saegan was fighting desperately against Farimaal's vicious attacks and I gasped as one blow nearly took his head off.
I raised my sword and drove it forward, aiming for the dread captain's back.
I knew it was a mistake, even as Saegan screamed for me to get back.
Farimaal had already started turning before I had even gotten close to him. He was too fast, I wasn't going to make it.
Clang!
He blocked my blow with one arm and I felt the sick sensation of steel sliding into my stomach.
I gasped, barely registering that my grip on my sword was loosening, causing it to fall to the ground. Farimaal's cold eyes stared dispassionately into my own as he jerked his blade free.
My legs buckled under my own weight and as I fell to the ground I saw Saegan staring at me in utter disbelief. I hit the ground hard and didn't move once I came to a stop. I could feel warm blood pooling beneath me. I felt so very dizzy...
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Saegan dealing Farimaal some dangerous blows and, for a moment, it looked like he would win. But it was not to be. He was knocked down, pinned to the ground.
He said something to the captain before he was killed, but my own hearing was fading too swiftly for me to catch it. The blade sunk into his back. His eyes fluttered closed.
Dear Saegan, willing to follow me even in death.
We fell, yes, but we fell together and that's all that mattered.