Title: Gone Away
Author: Keir
Rating: PG-13 for now/swearing, violence, gay lovings
The Gist of Things: Kyou loves Haru, but will the ox realize it in time?
A/N: So I know I should be posting more of "How We Are" or "Million Little Pieces." Swear to the goddess I will! It's just that right now my fiance is gone to arming class for 7 weeks and I'm all lonely and grumpy and rawrrawrrawr, so I need to write a horribly gloomy piece to get around to writing the other ones. XD Also, we all know that a simple PG-13 rating in one of my stories can't last that long. Seriously.
If you've ever read the very beginnings of a short fic of mine called "Cooking Ramen," this fic is that one revisited. I've changed plot points in my head and made it like...super way longer. And with a beginning. Spoilers (kind of) if you look that one up. (I know it's still somewhere on the internets.)
The only way to tell he was awake was the small sigh of breath exhaled, breaking the rhythm of deep sleep. Kyou woke the same way he always woke: hard and alone. The sun had now reached his face, but he had been awake before it got there. He forced his eyes open to stare at the luminous lime green 6:59 on his clock, arm moving to shut off the alarm before it could go off. It was quiet except for the birds. The air in the room was cool from the night air so he pulled his arm back under the covers and tucked them under his chin. He sighed angrily as he curled his legs up to meet his stomach; there was a tent in his soft pants. The cat bit softly at his lip and reach a hand down to touch the head of his frustration when Yuki began yelling at him through the door. The rat always thought he slept in, but that was never the case, not since that dream had started happening. That wet dream that he could never stop; it was always the same.
He swung his legs over the bed. The cold floor doused the feeling of lust low in his belly.
Standing, only half-hard now, a hand strayed to scratch at the coarse orange hair surrounding his crotch. His slacks, shirt and jacket hung neatly in his closet; Tohru always pressed them. He felt a pang of guilt as he got dressed haphazardly. The cat slid the white tie around his neck, never able to stand the feeling of it knotted around his throat. It drove him crazy.
Downstairs, Tohru was throwing lunch together for everyone, even Shigure who didn't really need it. Yuki was sipping his morning tea. Kyou ignored them and went straight to the fridge, taking the milk and drinking right from the carton. "That's disgusting. At least have some courtesy for the rest of us," Yuki said calmly. Kyou thought his voice was annoyingly feminine.
"Why don't you just mind your own business, rat?" He took another swig just to spite his cousin, crimson eyes clashing with grey.
"Oh, please don't fight. It's such a beautiful day out!" Tohru interrupted, smiling in that way that could disarm them both. The boys shared a look.
Kyou drank again, draining the rest of the carton as he looked away. Tohru was like the sister he never got the chance to have. She was the first person he had hugged since he was little with Shishou, and he didn't even take the step to hug his long-time mentor any more.
He picked up his briefcase, light as always, while Tohru packed her and Yuki's lunches. Yuki still sat sipping his tea as if he had all the time in the world. "Hurry the hell up, rat." He made Kyou so irritated. The Prince always acted like he was the only person on Earth. He grit his teeth at his cousin's audible huffy sigh, watching Yuki adjust his tie. The cat felt it was a cruel joke to have to live with his rival; he wished he was back in the dojo with Shishou.
True to Tohru's word, the day was beautiful and summer was on the way, but it didn't make him feel any more cheerful. Kyou slung his briefcase over his shoulder and stuffed his other hand into his pocket, listening to the girl and Yuki prattle on. It nettled him. He just wanted to be alone somewhere, falling asleep in the sun. He always felt tired after a night with that dream. His feet slowed to a stop and he sighed. Yuki gave his own annoyed sigh in answer. "Kyou, move or we'll be late to class."
It was the last straw. Kyou dropped his briefcase and turned around. "If school is so important to you, then you go. I don't have to do every damn thing you tell me to!" Tohru looked hurt and he winced guiltily, but he pushed it aside. He took off running through the trees; he just wanted to be away from them.
It hurt to see them walking, talking together like nothing was wrong. Everything was wrong. Why was everyone around him so happy?
The wall to the Sohma property loomed up before he expected. His brain panicked while his body took over; he sprang up, hands grabbing the vines on the wall as his feet pushed off the ground. In a blink he was up and over with too much momentum. He was falling, falling. The Cat in him made minor adjustments: head back, arms spread more, legs just so. The impact of the pavement jarred his bones and he was aware of a sharp pain in his ankle.
"Wow, Kyou! That was a great landing!"
The cat's heartbeat skyrocketed, head snapping around too quickly; Momiji's high-pitched voice sent off warning bells in his head. Worse than dealing with Yuki and Tohru and the selfish jealousy he couldn't admit to, Momiji always walked to school with...
Kyou's brain started rattling off gibbering thoughts as he stood, trying to look calm. He glanced up to see his white tie fluttering through the air. He reached up to snag it but a long, pale arm grabbed it before he could catch it. Kyou scowled at the proferred tie, ripping it out of the other's grasp and threading it back around his neck. Tohru would be upset if he lost it.
"You didn't need to make such a dramatic entrance if you wanted to walk with us, Kyou." Momiji's giggle made the cat grind his teeth.
"I don't want anything to do with you, you little brat!" All his hairs stood on end at that irritating, squealing voice.
"Oh, well if you don't want anything to do with me, then you must be here for Haru!"
The little blond couldn't possibly know what he was saying, but the fear welled up inside Kyou and with the fear came the anger. He wanted to lash out, terrified that Momiji knew something even he was too scared to come to terms with.
The anger must have shown on his face because the pipsqueak cringed back, hiding behind their other cousin. "Kyou-kun is so scary! Save me, Haru!"
The corners of the ox's mouth tilted up. "I'm sure Kyou won't do anything to you." Hatsuharu's voice was always so soft, so slow, so rhythmic. Kyou tried not to look into those pale grey eyes, but they pulled him in. That black and white hair was kept a little longer now than it had been a couple years before; it made the cat's heart stop to see it caressing those sharp cheekbones...
"Whatever!" Kyou shouted, trying to break his own trance. He glanced around the ox to see Yuki and Tohru approaching. His heart leaped into his throat with all the confusing emotions jumbled together. A growl rumbled up from his throat. "Just stay away from me!" he shouted louder than he meant to, turning to run toward the school.
Hatsuharu stood still, pondering why every time he saw Kyou his cousin was running somewhere. The ox glanced at the wall the cat had scaled; it really was quite formidable. He looked behind him to find Yuki and Tohru just catching up to them with the rat looking quite irritated. "Ah, so it's you."
Yuki paused, blinked. "What?"
Hatsuharu ignored him, thinking to himself. Kyou must have been running from Yuki since they both seemed to be rather annoyed. Shigure had told Hatori that the two family rivals couldn't even be in the same room any more if Tohru wasn't there, or they'd break down into a physical fight. He was brought out of his introspective thoughts by Momiji exclaiming, "You just missed Kyou. He tried to beat me up, it was so scary! But Haru saved me!"
The ox put a hand on the rabbit's head. "Yes, Kyou seemed upset."
"Who cares about the stupid cat? He left his schoolwork and just ran off," Yuki huffed.
"I hope Kyou-kun is okay," Tohru fretted.
"I'm sure he'll be fine, Honda-san," the ox replied.
"Really?"
"Yes. Kyou always rebounds quickly from things that upset him so that he can be upset about something else." Hatsuharu said sedately, glancing at his watch. "We'd better go or we'll be late." Momiji bounced ahead, managing to keep up a constant stream of chatter with Tohru all the way to school while Hatsuharu rode the waves of Yuki's peeved silence calmly.
The rat sighed after passing the school gates. "Idiot cat," he muttered. Hatsuharu followed his gaze to the roof where Kyou stood leaning against the railing. The ox thought the cat looked almost angelic with the morning sun shining down brightly on him, his mop of orange hair reflecting the light. Somewhere the bells chimed the signal for five minutes until the beginning of class and Kyou disappeared from view.
Hatsuharu took his time crossing the lawn and heading inside. He set his bag down but found someone had stolen his indoor shoes again. For some reason it was a popular prank to play on him, but he didn't much care. The ox shrugged to himself and trailed Momiji to class in his socks.
Meanwhile, Yuki walked into the classroom he shared with Kyou and Uotani after escorting Tohru to her own with Hanajima. He found the orange-haired boy already in his window seat. He sat down at his own desk next to the cat's; his cousin turned his face aside. The rat sighed and tossed the other's briefcase on the floor. "I brought your bag." He waited a moment. "Are you even going to say 'thank you'?"
"Cat got your tongue, Carrothead?" Uotani laughed from behind Kyou; he ignored her.
The cat stared out the window without seeing until the noise in the classroom picked up. "Kyou, are you going to turn in your assignment?" All he could think about was how the sound of Yuki's voice grated on his nerves. "Did you even do the homework?"
The cat whipped his head around and glared over at the rat. "No. What are you, my mother?" he growled.
"You won't graduate if you don't do the work. Kyou, are you listening?"
The cat hissed out a breath and leaned over in his seat with a snarl. "Look, you fucking rat, what I do is my business. You don't even understand anything about me."
"Kyonkyon is in a bad mood today, ne?" Uotani jarred his seat with her feet.
Yuki sighed, sending a reproving look at the blond girl. "What are you talking about, you idiot. Of course it matters."
"You don't get it. How could you, the fucking Prince?" Uotani continued to shake his seat. Kyou slammed out of his chair and shoved his desk over, letting his hatred for Yuki take over. "You don't have a clue, you asshole! Leave me alone!"
"Mr. Sohma! Sit down!"
Kyou snarled, ignoring the teacher and escaping the classroom at a run.
Down the hall, Hatsuharu and Momiji's class was stirring while their teacher was out. "Hey, Sohma, your cousin just sprinted down the hallway."
"Which one?" the ox asked placidly from his seat. Sometimes it became confusing with so many relations in the same school.
"The angry one, Kyou."
"Like you'd ever see the Prince running down the hallway!" another boy laughed.
"Ohh, Kyou-kun must have done something baaaaad," Momiji caroled, wrapping his arms around his cousin's neck from behind.
"Ah." Hatsuharu stood, slinging his messenger bag over his shoulder.
"Where are you going, Haru?"
"To check on Kyou."
"You're going to get in trouble!" the rabbit said, nose fairly twitching with all the excitement.
Hatsuharu shrugged and walked out of the classroom, stopping to slip on his outdoor shoes. It was a beautiful sunny day and the ox hummed to himself as he walked. He had no idea where Kyou might be hiding but he figured he would start at Shigure's house; Kyou didn't seem to leave there often.
He wasn't worried about losing his way; Tohru had actually come up with the plan to leave certain colored rocks on the path to and from the school, Shigure's house, and the main Sohma complex to keep the ox on track. The thought of Tohru put a smile on his face. The path to the house was bright and clear, and Hatsuharu followed the yellow colored stones toward the dog's house. When he got there, he gave a cursory look around the house, but it seemed like no one was home. Up the stairs he found Kyou's labeled room—another invention of Tohru's—and peered inside. The cat's room was cleaner than he'd thought it would be; he couldn't remember the last time he'd really seen it since Kyou always kept his door shut. His black bedding was scrunched up and unmade, but otherwise there wasn't much. There was his gi hung on the wall, a couple of textbooks on a shelf over a small desk. The closet didn't hold many clothes, but they were all hung up and sorted by shirts and pants. Nothing decorated the walls or floor.
The ox shut the door and went back downstairs, deciding to look out back. He wandered past Yuki's growing garden to the hidden pond. When they were little it had been forbidden to go back there for fear that they would fall in and drown with no one to watch them.
All except Kyou; the family really hadn't cared what had happened to him when his mother passed on.
The pond was where he found Kyou; the cat was skipping rocks across the quiet water. Hatsuharu set his bag down and wandered closer. "So what happened?"
The cat nearly jumped out of his skin, but upon seeing who had caught him unaware he choked on his scathing remark and stayed quiet. He pressed his back tight up against a tree and slid down, putting his hands on his knees. "What are you doing here?"
"You left school quickly. I wanted to make sure you were all right." Kyou looked away, jerkily throwing another stone into the pond. It skipped once, lop-sided from the throw while he was sitting, then sank.
"I just don't want to be there," the orange-haired boy growled.
The ox wandered closer. "So why have you been fighting with Yuki more lately?"
"He's so fucking smug!" Kyou snarled abruptly, eyes blazing. "Everything about him pisses me off. He can't even confess to Tohru!"
The ox sat down next to the cat. "Why haven't you confessed to Tohru?"
Kyou scowled. "I don't like Tohru that way, you idiot. I like somebody else." As soon as the words passed his lips a look of terror crossed his face, and for the first time since they were little the ox saw true vulnerability in the cat's eyes. He had forgotten how the cat had grown up; at first the orange-haired boy had cried all the time when his mother had committed suicide, but after being struck so many times by hateful Sohma members who feared him the older boy had learned to stay silent and hidden away. He had grown up harsh and angry. Now Kyou looked so soft and, well, cute. Hatsuharu couldn't help his impulse as he leaned forward.
The cat's eyes widened as the ox's lips came down on his. It wasn't even a long kiss, but Haru's lips were firm on his own and it felt so good...
The ox pulled back, no trace of embarrassment or any other emotion crossing his face. "Sorry."
"W-why did you kiss me?" the cat asked around the lump in his throat.
"You just looked sad." In truth, Hatsuharu had never even remotely thought about kissing his older cousin—well, this particular older cousin. Romantic or sexual thoughts had never crossed his mind about the orange-haired boy; all he had ever thought of him as was a rival and a cousin. The ox sat calmly, staring into the other's eyes. "Kyou, I know you like Yuki and I—"
"What!" The cat felt slapped. Here he was, disheveled and with the hurt welling up inside his chest, hoping that Haru had feelings for him. How could he be so stupid? A stabbing physical pain went through his heart. The ox had kissed him out of pity and now he thought he liked Yuki? Kyou did the only thing he knew how to do and cried out, swinging his fist into the ox's stomach. Hatsuharu became unbalanced and toppled over into the shallow water of the pond lapping at the shore. The cat shot to his feet, face blazing with anger. "You asshole. Don't ever fucking talk to me about the rat again. Don't even mention his name! Just stay the hell away from me!"
Then he was running.
Hatsuharu sat stunned in the chilly water, wondering at the harsh reaction Kyou had lashed out with. He had no idea what had happened, but he had clearly underestimated the feelings Kyou had for Yuki. He stood up, soaked, intending to find the white pebbles that led to the main house and try to avoid Hatori for the rest of the day.
Kyou was tired and cold. He hadn't wanted to sleep the night before; the sting of Hatsuharu's unwitting rejection was still a fresh slice across his heart. He had gone to Kazuma's dojo, trying to work out stress, but instead of letting him fight and train, Shishou had made him scrub floors until his shoulders and knees ached.
It had done as the older man intended: Kyou had been drained of energy in the early hours of the morning and got a few hours of fitful sleep. This morning had been a huge temperature drop from the day before and the cat didn't have an actual jacket with him, and the school jacket he wore was too thin. He shivered and scowled as he ran into the others at the school gate.
The rat raised a brow. "Kyou, Shigure wondered where you were last night."
"Yes, we were so worried!" Tohru said, touching his arm.
"Yeah, whatever. Like the rat fucking cared if I was gone." Hatsuharu looked like he was about to say something but Kyou's glare silenced him. "It's not a big deal. I—" They all went quiet and still as a dark car pulled up to the curb in front of the school. A man in a dark suit stepped out, straightening his jacket, and approached them.
"Kyou Sohma." He stepped toward them and there was immediate recognition: this was one of Akito's bodyguards. "Akito-sama requests your presence."
"And if I refuse?"
"Then Akito-sama will demand your presence instead." The man looked cool as he said it, but all the cousins knew what the threat meant.
"Fine." Kyou's fist clenched on his briefcase as he headed for the black car. Students filtering into the schoolyard stopped to stare and whisper.
Yuki grasped his sleeve and whispered, "Kyou, don't go. At least wait until later. We could find a way for Hatori to go with you, tell them you have to go to school and after you'll meet with Akito."
The cat shook him off with a sneer. "I don't need Hatori to deal with stupid Akito." He glanced back at the others, eyes skittering away from Hatsuharu's as he stepped into the car. The bodyguard slid in next to him and shut the door, tapping on the glass in front of them to signal "go" to the driver.
"What does Akito want?"
The bodyguard kept his eyes straight ahead. "Akito's business is her own."
The cat shrugged irritably and sat silently until the car came to a stop and the bodyguard let him out, escorting him into the main house. Kyou swallowed, fingers fidgeting; being here made him nervous. He hadn't been allowed here since he had been little, since Kazuma had adopted him. There weren't really any specific memories, just old emotions: the feelings of terror and loneliness.
Akito sat with a blanket spread over her lap. Kyou noted the second bodyguard in the corner; the first slid the door shut behind him. "Sit, Kyou," Akito said softly.
"I'd rather stand."
"I insist that you sit," Akito said, looking up at the cat with a gleam in her eyes. The orange-haired boy scowled, aware of the other men surrounding him, and sat. "Now bow to me," Akito said lightly. The cat struggled not to snarl and placed his hands on the floor, bowing his forehead almost to the ground. He was about to sit back up when Akito made a small noise. "I didn't say you could stop bowing." Kyou froze in his acquiescent position while the head of the house adjusted her blanket. "Someone has told me something, Kyou. Something that is quite disturbing."
"What would that be, Akito-sama?" Kyou growled. He heard the door slide open and shut, but didn't dare look up.
"You remember our deal, yes?" Akito sipped some tea slowly. "You are allowed to be free until you either defeat Yuki or your high school career has ended."
"Yeah, I know that. So?"
Akito's slight smile faded, leaving her face harsh and cold. "Someone has told me the disgusting Cat has fallen in love."
Kyou's heart leaped up into his throat. "Akito, I—" It happened faster than he could even realize. The pain of the long needle pushing through his shirt and into his flesh was so sudden. He tried to lash out at the man behind him but he fell on his side, suddenly dizzy. "What did you do to me?" he slurred, trying to push himself up. The world spun as he tried to focus; he caught sight of a familiar face. "Hatori...you traitor..." His legs were beginning to feel numb from the drug the dragon had stuck him with.
Akito rose gracefully, blanket falling around her feet. "For the Cat to fall in love...it is an abomination. I will not stand for it." Kyou tried to move his limbs, but they felt so heavy. "I knew that I was being too kind to a beast such as you. You have broken my trust and so I consider our agreement nullified."
"You can't..." Kyou protested as he felt the bodyguards lift his leaden body. One of them ripped his school jacket in the process and the random thought that Tohru would be upset popped into his mind. He felt them lift his arms over his head and tie them and then suddenly no one was holding him up; his wrists felt on fire as his legs couldn't support him. His school shirt clung to him in a terrified sweat.
"And now for your punishment," Akito said with a small smile.
"Akito, I did not agree to this. I administered the drug so Kyou wouldn't be hurt in a struggle, not so that you could hurt him," Hatori said from the doorway, his face carefully neutral.
"Do not question the will of the head of the house!" Akito shouted, falling into a fit of coughing. Once she caught her breath, she folded her legs to sit once more, nodding to one of the guards.
"Where is Kureno?" Hatori asked, his voice becoming strained.
Akito kept her eyes on Kyou. "Kureno is not here. I wouldn't want to ruin his delicate sensibilities." She watched as the guard unwound a whip and nodded again. "Begin."
The first lash was like searing fire down his back; Kyou cried out, his mind spouting gibberish. Around the fifth lash he tried to gather himself, vowed not to make any more sound. Akito would like it if he whimpered and begged like some coward.
At the end he hung his head, breathing hard. His wrists had gone numb and his back was raw; it hadn't felt like only fifteen blows, it had felt like a hundred. His white tie was laying on the ground, spotted with blood. "Enough," Akito sneered, turning back to her tea. "Get rid of him, get him out of my sight. Lock him away like the creature he is."
The bodyguards grabbed him, cutting him down. He went limp. "What about the beads, Akito-sama?"
The head of the house spared a glance for the beads encircling Kyou's wrist. "Let him keep them if he thinks they make him human." She stared into Hatori's eyes. "You may tend his wounds if you wish." Then she dismissed them all, looking away as if they had disappeared.
Kyou groaned as they dragged him through the hall and outside. Everything was hazy with pain, even through the drugs. He was terrified to know just how much it would hurt without the dosage in his system. He lolled his head to the side and a new jolt of panic went through him.
The Cat's house.
They were going to lock him away.
He struggled to flee now, elbows and legs flying as they dragged him. "No! No, we had a deal! We had a deal, Akito! AKITO!"
But Akito was not listening.
--SPOILERS FOR MANGA--
Another Author's Note, oh yes.
I have seriously never liked that Akito magickally became a woman in the manga. Ahmahgawd, you have no idea how much I hate that.
I can forever love Akito as a man; I always wanted to write some crazy AkitoxKyou fic. This ruined it forever for me. D: Woman Akito, pfft. Hates it we does.
Anyway, there's some OOC, but I don't care because I'm just writing to get some frustrations out and be all angsty-like. :3 Oh Kyou, I love you! Make love to Haru, you silly creature!