Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Title: From A Different Perspective
Characters: The Japanese Peace Lily, Nicholas Angel, the old hag, mentions of others
Summary: Life just wasn't fair, in the Japanese Peace Lily's opinion.
Warnings: Nothing particularly bad except mild coffee-induced angst and plant violence
The Japanese Peace Lily (hereafter known as J.P Lily) had realised from the start that moving out of London to some small village was a bad idea. In fact, it'd been quite sure that nothing good could come out of it. And that wasn't just because it knew it'd have to contend with other plants for its master's attention.
J.P Lily had stayed by its master's side for a ridiculously long time. To be truthful, even the plant itself wasn't quite sure why it had done so, what with its master's long work hours and extra time spent working even though he'd been forcefully sent home over two hours ago. It was a mystery how the master had remembered to water it – something J.P Lily was very thankful for. But the point was that J.P Lily been undeniably loyal to its master and was feeling distinctly betrayed by this relocation.
Alright, admittedly Nicholas (that's the name of the workaholic – its workaholic) had appeared to be quite peeved by it too but that was beside the point.
When they had arrived at their new hell, J.P Lily had been shocked to find that the cottage was unfinished. Although, thinking back, it vaguely remembered its master receiving a phone-call about it but the plant had been too busy brooding to really pay attention. Anyway, the two of them had ended up staying in the local hotel run by that hag; a hag with no respect for Japanese Peace Lilies.
It had been the first day Nicholas had gone to work and the elderly woman had come to check on the room. Now, J.P Lily would have been content to watch the lady until she left if it wasn't for the incident. The hag had somehow gotten it into her head that it thought water was boring. Now honestly, just how had the human come to that conclusion? It was a plant – plants practically lived for water. …In actual fact, J.P Lily did indeed find water a bit bland but it wasn't about to admit that. The point was that no matter how boring a plant may find water, you just don't poor coffee into its soil, because really, just how was a plant going to benefit from an unhealthy dosage of caffeine?
J.P Lily hadn't forgotten how Nicholas had decided to sleep instead of check on it and so consequently hadn't noticed the coffee on the plant. Of course, that definitely wasn't why the lily was holding a grudge; no, definitely not.
After that unfortunate incident, the plant had begun to notice its master was spending more time away from it and instead working with his newest comrade. At first J.P Lily had been annoyed – jealous even – but eventually it began to accept the fact that its master finally had a friend that, strangely enough, wasn't a plant. Well, there had been the girlfriend but that hadn't worked out well. And she hadn't liked J.P Lily at all so she was automatically on its bad list.
As time went by, Nicholas had started to get engrossed in police work once again. J.P Lily hadn't been worried, though, that had meant its master was normal, he wasn't depressed or anything like that. He even remembered to water the plant. That didn't mean J.P Lily hadn't felt neglected, though, it had wished that for once in its life, the police officer would turn off and talk to the plant. That was preposterous, however, as most humans don't leave their work to talk to a plant.
Soon, however, J.P Lily had noticed that it wasn't being watered as often. Nicholas really had seemed to have become obsessive to the point of insanity and, for the first time in its life, the lily had wistfully wished it'd never met Nicholas Angel. The man had been starting to scare it. The plant had been worried that this time he really was stuck turned on, that this time he wouldn't remember the loyal lily sitting in room as it waited patiently for him to finish work. And that scared it. It was fully aware that as a plant, it shouldn't have been able to feel fear, it shouldn't have been able to feel anything really, in fact, it shouldn't be able to think, but J.P Lily was special. Because the Japanese Water Lily loved its master and that was all that mattered.
And then the unthinkable happened.
J.P Lily had been worrying its roots off. Suddenly its master wasn't obsessed. Nicholas had seemed more resigned than anything and that was worse than when he was fixated on work. Anyway, it had been late and Nicholas had come back to the hotel room only to be attacked by some huge giant. Naturally, J.P Lily had been cheering its master on but what had happened next really changed its perspective on life.
Nicholas had been in a bad position. He had acted on instinct. He had picked up J.P Lily and hit the towering man over the head with it. The adrenaline induced movement had worked and the man had been knocked out cold. Nicholas was fine, although somewhat shell-shocked. The same couldn't be said about the water lily.
The impact had caused the pot holding the plant to break and J.P Lily had been left on the floor – a pile of soil, water lily and roots. Much to the plants dismay, its master had done nothing about this; J.P Lily wasn't even sure it he had even sent a look its way. It wasn't as though it couldn't survive, as long as its roots weren't destroyed and it got water within a few days, it would recover. But Nicholas hadn't interacted with the plant in what seemed like such a long time, and the now that he had, it had been to protect himself from some giant. J.P Lily didn't want to sound selfish, but was it really too much to ask for some tender loving care from its master?
So, as it lay there, slowly losing water while its master rushed off somewhere to apprehend some criminals or whatever else there was, the Japanese Peace Lily could not help but think that life just wasn't fair.