Suffer in Silence
A Haikyuu! oneshot
by mew-tsubaki
Note: The Haikyuu! characters belong to Furudate Haruichi-sensei, not to me. For the prompt "intimate" for Haikyuu Rare Pair Weekend on tumblr. Read, review, and enjoy!
- ^-^3
On the third day, Fukunaga's already feeling a little overwhelmed.
The training camp is great, no doubt about it. But the workouts and the practice games are exhausting. The main gym reeks of sweat, and it's hot outside because it's summer, in Tokyo, and summers in Tokyo can be rather unforgiving. The only saving grace is that they've been playing only volleyball, and not that weird volleyball–dodgeball hybrid Bokuto came up with on day one when the teams were still arriving.
Fukunaga takes some deep breaths as he sits outside in the cool shade of the doorway's awning. He can't be away long, otherwise Lev will notice and want to rest, too, and it's hard enough for Nekoma to keep the first-year kitten on track. Still, Fukunaga needs the short break after having the ball mostly set to him during their current practice match against Karasuno.
There's suddenly the crackle of gravel underfoot as someone joins him, and he glances sideways to see the familiar form of Ennoshita Chikara drop down onto the steps beside him. "Hey," the other boy says by way of greeting.
Fukunaga tips his head to him in response.
Ennoshita doesn't force a greeting out of him, which is nice. He just sits down and takes some deep breaths of his own, switching off between sipping his water and wiping the sweat off his legs. Eventually, he comments with a teasing smile, "Don't get your hopes up just because you guys are leading by four points halfway through the game."
Fukunaga smiles a little to himself, suppressing his laugh. "We'll win," he promises, and he forces himself not to watch for Ennoshita's amusing reaction to hearing his voice yet again. Besides, this is the…fifth? sixth? time it's happened, so Fukunaga already has the image painted pretty clearly in his mind:
His companion's fine eyebrows lift just a bit, eyes widen a fraction so as not to look sleepy in the least bit, jaw slackens and draws one's attention to the small oval formed by his lips… Fukunaga's description doesn't do the image justice, though, because the presence that is Ennoshita is just so amusing when he's surprised.
The Nekoma spiker can't resist any longer, and he peeks at Ennoshita. The latter laughs at himself.
"I forget at times how stubborn you can be," Ennoshita remarks, and his easy smile reaches his eyes.
It's not a stunning remark, Fukunaga knows. But he's kind of glad Ennoshita's already figured out that part of him. Actually, he's kind of glad to have befriended Ennoshita altogether. Fukunaga is the quiet type, and he knows how gross of an understatement that is, but he has his reasons.
He has selective mutism.
At home, it may be just him and his parents…but he's got four aunts and three uncles on his dad's side alone, and about two dozen cousins, and Fukunagas are nothing if not social people. So Fukunaga has grown up drowning in relatives, every one of whom is especially talkative. It's given Fukunaga no chance to get a word in edgewise, so he's not developed much of a voice at all (figuratively speaking—of course he has a voice).
And going to school? It's been one obstacle after another. Selective mutism is not as common as his parents had encouraged him to believe, so things have been hard. Although, Nekoma High has treated him nicely. The cast of characters on his team seems to fit him to a T—once they get over their initial reaction to him, they get used to him. Now it's just having other team's players get used to him that's the challenge.
But Ennoshita is a step in the right direction, he supposes. The two of them had chatted…well, Ennoshita had chatted in a friendly matter at Fukunaga after their practice games at Nekoma months ago. Then, two nights ago when Karasuno had arrived well into the night, Ennoshita had found Fukunaga couldn't sleep at lights out either, and the two of them had stayed up for a bit, gabbing about this and that. It was the first time Fukunaga had spoken with him, and it was the first time Fukunaga had seen Ennoshita's gob-smacked expression.
"Can I confess something?" Ennoshita asks, his shock having ebbed.
"Yep."
"I kind of want to play hooky," the other boy says with a chuckle, leaning in as if someone might overhear him. Ennoshita's breath is hot on Fukunaga's neck—but Fukunaga reminds himself that it's just the summer heat he's feeling.
"There's a real break after the game," he reminds Ennoshita.
"For you guys, probably. For us, more flying falls," Ennoshita quips. He adds a dramatic sigh, which amuses Fukunaga more now that, from their chats here and there the past couple of days, he knows Ennoshita likes dramas and movies.
"Fukunaga!"
"Chikara!"
Fukunaga's excitement cools at hearing Yamamoto summon him. Suddenly his voice is caught in his throat.
Ennoshita sighs. "Good grief, Nishinoya can be so loud sometimes…" He sits up straight, takes another swig from his water bottle, and stands. "You coming?" he inquires, offering Fukunaga a hand.
Fukunaga glances up at him, glances at the proffered hand, and takes it wordlessly. He nods his thanks and appreciates that Ennoshita's fine with that and nothing more. He's a little like Kenma in that regard, not asking about Fukunaga's long bouts of silence but also not trying to fill the silent voids with talk either.
But there's something else about Ennoshita. There's…an air of possibility around him, as if friendly conversation can happen whenever…and, yet, Ennoshita's attention is on him even if nothing is said.
It makes Fukunaga bubble and brim with words, words he wants to spill out, things he wants to say, reasons he wants to give—letting Ennoshita know that he can only talk in one-on-one situations, but also letting Ennoshita know that he does best when he's at complete ease with the other person—
—and letting Ennoshita know that, even this quickly, Ennoshita already puts him at ease.
Ennoshita smiles at him, cocks his head slightly to the right, curiously, but still says nothing. Yet somehow the silence is that much more precious.
(And then Yamamoto, Tanaka, and Nishinoya find them, and Fukunaga understands Ennoshita's curiosity when the quiet cat realizes his hand's still in Ennoshita's grasp and he withdraws it as if his paw's on a hot plate. He makes a mental note to apologize to Ennoshita later…although, the sweet laugh and bump on the shoulder he receives from his companion in return tells him that maybe no apology is needed.)
- ^-^3
Whelp. I think I can ship Ennoshita, my crow husband, with anyone…? XD (Ennotana's still #1 in my book, tho.) Anyway, selective mute!Fukunaga occurred to me recently, and this is my take on it—being in such a big family so as to feel pushed aside and therefore silenced. I feel as though I have a little better idea of what Fukunaga's like, tho, from rereading v4 over and over again (so glad I have a copy!) and from talking to the ever-lovely fukunagapls. So this one's dedicated to you, hon! :D And, if anyone's wondering, the title is more of a reference to how Fukunaga's no longer suffering in silence but now embraces it. *babbling now* But yeah.
Thanks for reading, and please review! Feel free to check out my other fics, too, if you liked this.
-mew-tsubaki -w-