(Standard disclaimer apply, please read and review. I was pretty pissed about the conversation that Harm and the Admiral had, and thought this song: Time of your life by Green Day fit this fic, and what Harm is feeling perfectly.
On to the story
Standing in my office I continued putting my things in boxes, trying my hardest not to slam anything. Even though I so badly wanted to. I had given my hat t Tiner, and I feel good about that. I know he'll be a damn fine officer. I could feel the eyes of the whole office on me. I knew they had mixed feelings about what I did, but as angry and as numb as I was, I still didn't know what to think.
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
Contrary to what every one might think, I don't regret losing my job to save Mac. And if I would have know ahead of time that he wouldn't have taken me back, I still would have gone. I couldn't possibly make him understand what I saw when I saved her. She was strapped to a table, with cable jumpers at the ready. She would have died if I hadn't saved her, and as stupid as it was to quit, I don't regret any of it.
Now Mac with Webb, well that was just something I didn't expect. I remember when she asked me what I would give up for her. Mic gave up his career and his country for her, and although she probably doesn't realize it, I gave up a hell of a lot more. But will I tell her? Hell no. I have given up on that idea long ago, but I thought maybe this time, maybe after all that has happened that she would see that I...well love her.
I guess the dreams of her dying while in Paraguay started after she told me she was leaving, and still they haven't stopped. It's something I have to deal with I know. But still I don't know what they mean.
In away I know Mac was right about one of always wanting to be on top, and if I had the guts to tell her different, maybe I wouldn't be alone right now. Maybe I wouldn't have to spend the rest of my life alone.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
I was having a drink...okay maybe a few drinks at the bar not far from JAG. I was sitting in a booth alone trying to decide wether or not to get drunk, when someone slid in the seat across from me. I knew who it was without having to look up, but refused to acknowledge his presence. Why? I didn't work for him anymore, he was just my "former commanding officer" as he put it.
"Trying to get drunk Harm?" he asks slightly amused.
Yeah Admiral that's it. You fired me today, I lost my best friend, so why shouldn't I get tanked? But I didn't answer him. Maybe that was one of the good things about leaving the Navy. I didn't have to answer to him anymore. Not when I didn't want to.
"Listen Harm-"
I stopped him, I sure as hell wasn't going to let him finish. Not this time.
"She was strapped to a board sir. She was strapped to a board and was about to get shocked by cable jumpers. If I hadn't come when I did, she would be dead right now. Dead Admiral. I saw how grateful you were that she was back safe, but she wouldn't be back safe if, in part, for me."
I don't know if it was the six shots of bourbon that I had or just pure adrenaline, but I was on a roll, and sure as hell wasn't going to stop until I told him everything.
"Sir if she had died, and I sat by doing nothing, you would have had to put me in a padded cell. Sir she is my best friend and I would do anything for her. And your right, going there to get her back, did backfire in a way, but I don't for one minute regret ending my career to save her, and if I had the choice, I would do it again in a second. I love her sir. I have loved her for a long time, and if she had died in that hell hole sir, I might have well just died right along with her sir. It might never work out between us sir, but she'll always be my friend, sir. And once upon a time, it didn't seem stupid and bull headed for putting everything on the line to save the people you care about. I might not be a team player anymore Admiral, but at least I can sleep at night knowing in the end I did the right thing. Maybe in the end, that's all that counts. Not some job that means nothing without the people you've come to care for the most," I said standing up and slapping some money on the table, leaving before he could say anything.
It was later that night when I decided it was time to move on with my life, and I sure as hell couldn't do it in Washington.
So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf of good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
And within a week I was packed and ready to go. I had decided to take an offer from a hot shot office in North Carolina. It wasn't the firm or the big salary that persuaded me, but the isolated beach house that I found. And with the salary I was making, I could afford it.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
I hated not being an investigator anymore, and I hated not being able to see my friends anymore, but I supose it was all for the best. I can at least say that my mother sleeps better at night knowing that my life is no more in danger then hers and Frank's.
I had always loved the beach, and when I wasn't in the office this is where you could find me. I had bought a restored a small sail boat, that I occasionally take out, and I managed to have my plane brought down here as well so at least I still have that.
And although I still make trips up to Washington that are work related, I rarely see Mac anymore, even though I had heard from Harriet that she had ended the relationship that she had with Webb some time ago. Well maybe it was all for the best.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
It has been almost a year now since I have been out of Washington, and as I stood on my deck that looked over the beach I could help but think of an important upcoming date.
Three more weeks till little AJ's birthday.
Three more weeks until our baby deal would become forever null and void.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I never did hear the footsteps behind me, and jumped when I felt the hand on my back.
It was her.
My God it was her.
"Mac...what...what are you doing here?" I asked hardly able to get the words out.
"I got a transfer about a week ago. It's taken me this long to find you. I'm sorry to barge in like this, but the door was open, and you didn't hear me..." she said moving next to me.
We both looked out at the water for a few moments in silence, before I finally had to ask.
"Why a transfer? Mac you were next in line for command, why throw it all away?"
She was silent for a few moments before she finally spoke.
"Because a year ago, you gave it all up to. It was something I never thanked you for Harm, and something I never really took in to consideration when you left."
I started for the door, and only held up my hand to signal her to wait for me when she tried to say something. After a few minutes of digging around in my home office I finally came up with the item that I had wanted to give her for so long. She was staring out at the ocean when I found her, but turned around when she heard me coming.
I took her hand in mind, and could swear I heard her breath quicken the moment I did.
"You once asked me what I would give up for you Sarah. And although you didn't stick around to hear the answer then, and maybe didn't want to see it when I finally gave it all up, the answer is still the same," I said putting my gold wings in her hand.
When she finally looked up at me, she had tears in her eyes. I wiped them away with my thumb before going on "If it's being on top that worries you Mac, we can always take turns." I said smiling and she laughed at that. Holding her close I did the on thing I had wanted to do since I saw her strapped to that board. I kissed her with everything that I had, and was surprised when she did the same. Maybe now, that hurting deep within both of our souls will finally ease. Maybe know both of us could finally learn to love.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.
End
