Summary: All Cody Jekyll ever wanted was to be one of the popular kids at Wawanakwa High, but he never could quite fit in. Moved by sympathy and a secret crush, Noah offers the most unusual of solutions to the bumbling dweeb, a drink that could unlock all of the confidence and coolness inside. Suddenly Cody is climbing the social ladder and on top of the world, or at least the top of his school, but his new found charisma isn't the only thing Noah's potion has unleashed. Something dark has woken up inside the sweetest kid in school, and Wawanakwa High is soon suffering under the shadow of a mysterious bully, Duncan Hyde. Will Cody figure out what really matters and who, or will he lose his friends, his first chance at love, and ultimately....himself? The TDI cast presents: The Incredibly Strange Case of Cody Jekyll and Duncan Hyde. Expect late chapter CodyxNoah, and a slew of canon pairings, (GxT, BxG, DxC, DxN, etc). There are a few pairing surprises you may not expect, though if you are familiar with the actual Jekyll and Hyde musical, you can probably guess...if not...enjoy the surprise!
Author's Note: This is the prologue of a story I've been forcing poor Kirya to beta read for me! 3 After a few late night jokes and note passings, I decided it'd be a blast to try and remake a musical in TDI style. Seeing as Jekyll and Hyde has always been my favorite, I decided to rewrite it from a high school stand point, using those lovable TDI characters. I hope you enjoy this little teaser, even if the prologue is focused more on Cody's very distant past and is therefore missing the rest of the cast you know and love. The rest of them are waiting for you in Chapter one, I hope to see you there! And may it be as enjoyable for you to read as it was for me to write.
Warnings: Violence, Mild-Strong language at times. Beyond the pairings stated in the summary, expect a mix of Het/Slash so if either gayness or straightness offends you I suggest we part ways amicably here rather than share in this story of mine. If both offend you… you must have a terrible time getting dates, you have my deepest sympathies. Couples will come as they will, though excluding a few points laid out by Jekyll and Hyde, I will be adhering to TDI canon pairings. Romance is part of the story, but not the all of the story, so please do not be offended or expect characters to rush all snugly into each others arms after only 3 chapters. I do love reading that, it just appears I have trouble writing it. A final warning...this was written by an engineering/law student. I am trying my darnedest to overcome that handicap, but I have never quite managed to capture the elusive style the more popular fan-fictions are written in. You were warned!
Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama Island or Jekyll and Hyde. Likewise I have no claim on the slew of characters contained in either. I think if I did, TDA would have been a lot more enjoyable...at least for the squealing NoCo fans. And Trent would have been OCD from day one...way to NOT take advantage of a great character flaw.
"I need to find
A way to get inside the tortured mind of man.
I need to try
To separate the good and evil - if I can.
One thing is certain - the evil is stronger.
Good fights a hopeless and desperate fight.
I must find ways of adjusting the balance
To bring him back from the empty black edge of night!"
~ Excerpt from 'I Need to Know' as performed in 'Jekyll and Hyde: Resurrection'
The Strange Case of Cody Jekyll and Duncan Hyde
Prologue: I Need to Know
After three months of visits, Emma Jekyll had come to realize she truly loathed Dr. Jung's waiting room. To be fair to Dr. Jung, she hated most waiting rooms and for that matter most doctors. Everything was too fake for Emma's taste, the entire thing was just one giant game of pretend that started the minute you walked in. The nurse always smiled at you and asked you to write your name on a sign in sheet, as if you were not expected. As if you would ever come to such a place without being asked or told too. Then she'd smile and ask you to sit and you'd be expected to smile back, as if everything were perfectly normal and fine. Then there were the magazines and puzzles. She'd decided long ago, that those were the worst part. They were too disingenuous, too obvious; as your finger's turned magazine pages worn thin and ragged by countless sweaty nervous hands before yours, you were supposed to act like whatever you were reading was fascinating. Supposed to pretend that the puzzle you were trying to solve was so difficult that it made you completely forget that you were sitting in a doctor's office. Sitting and waiting to hear something bad.
And it was always something bad, never something pleasant. Emma had noticed that you never waited for good news. If there wasn't anything wrong, a nurse either popped right out and sent you on your way or you received a short phone call at home, 'no, Mrs. Jekyll, no need to come in at all, the test results came back fine. We'll go ahead and cancel the appointment. You have a nice day.'
You only waited to see the doctor when something went wrong, only then did you have to come in to the office for a face to face. As if it was better because you sat across from him as he leaned over his desk and looked at you sympathetically while telling you everything in your life had just changed forever. Then he'd offer you the illusion of choices, letting you know he's considered all your options, weighed the good and bad of each for you. When he sat back and gave you a chance to think upon them and decide which one you wanted, there'd be a pause. No matter how little choice you had, you were expected to at least go through the motions of deciding, acting like you were moving forward with your life rather than sitting there desperately trying to maintain your composure and not break down in front of him. After a few moments you take the hope he's offered, usually the selection he preferred. He'd act pleased that you came to such a difficult decision, that you've obviously taken the first step of acceptance. Yet in reality you were just bullied into it by the unsubtle wall of diplomas and books behind him that let you know not to disagree with the nice doctor who knew so much more than you. Then he'd stand, rising from his chair and walk to your side of the desk, to let you know he understood what you must be going through, emphasized by a rehearsed gesture of compassion, a hand shake or some other form of contact. It was all supposed to be ok then, the doctor cared personally about you, you could tell by the sterile hand on your shoulder or the way he met your eyes as he said goodbye. You were supposed to deceive yourself into knowing you weren't alone in the world, that in twenty minutes he wouldn't be doing this all again with someone else, your case, if not completely forgotten at least at the back of his mind.
It was a stupid game, an ugly game, a useless game, one that did far more for the doctor's peace of mind than it had ever done for hers. Emma hated it and hated it far more with Dr. Jung than any other doctor she'd ever visited. He was a therapist; he should know better. He should understand that sometimes you need something deeper than just going through the motions. Still, all of that together didn't add up to what Emma truly loathed about this place, it didn't come close to what made her twice a week visits a pure hell. There was something worse than playing the game, worse than Dr. Jung's determination to remain detached. What truly killed her was that Emma wasn't waiting for herself. It wasn't her bad news that she'd been dreading every time she came in and reread the same articles for an agonizing hour. No, what tormented Emma so much about this place was that she was waiting to find out what was wrong with her son. Waiting to find out what was happening to Cody.
For three months she'd been coming here, ever since the supervisor at the pre-school had pulled her aside to suggest she consider seeking professional help. For three months she'd been making the long drive to come to this man in particular. This Dr. Jung, supposedly the best there was in the entire province when it came to child psychology. A brilliant man who couldn't seem to figure out what was wrong with her baby. For three months every visit had ended the same, a nurse escorting Cody back to the waiting room, the small brunette boy trailing behind the woman, a tiny hand enclosed completely in her cold, sanitized grip, as she lead him to his mother. Then the nurse would toss Emma one of those damned fake smiles and ask her if she had any problems making the next appointment, like the whole thing was as innocent and carefree as scheduled play-dates and haircuts.
And the entire time, every drive here and back to home, Emma was forced to descend to the same level as the doctors and nurses. She had to use that same 'everything is normal and fine' smile on Cody as he fidgeted in his seat with excitement on the way to the office. She'd have to act interested about the visit ahead; while Cody chattered on about the fun games Dr. Jung let him play. Then she'd have to act completely calm on the way back home as he talked about the funny pictures and questions the doctor asked, while inside she was pouring over his every word as her nerves frayed with worry over what decision Dr. Jung was drawing ever closer towards making.
Slowly Emma paged through the advertisements of a two year old issue of Vogue, wondering for the hundredth time what a Vogue magazine was even doing in the waiting room of a child psychologist. Odd choice as it was, it beat the alternatives, no way was she leafing through the children's magazines such as Highlights, or worn copies of Better Home and Gardens. The last thing Emma needed during these visits was to be reminded of happy children and idealistic pictures of perfect families and homes.
"Mrs. Jekyll?"
The sound of her name interrupted Emma's distracted perusal of the very outdated 'hottest fashions of the summer.' With surprise Emma looked up to see the nurse motioning to her. Emma looked at her watch; Cody's appointment was less than halfway through. When she looked up again she made a more disturbing observation: the nurse was alone. There was no tiny boy following, no angelic face to light up and rush to her with a smile. Cold certainty settled over Emma, the chill sliding down her spine to lodge itself firmly and heavily in her gut. She rose slowly, walking to the woman with a dragging step, almost wishing she was still waiting.
"Where's Cody?" Emma's voice came out panicked, higher than she'd expected. Nervously she brought a hand to her chest and tried to calm herself.
"The doctor would like to speak to you, Mrs. Jekyll."
Emma looked up sharply, that was not the answer to the question she'd asked! The nurse just smiled another of those hollow expressions of friendliness that never quite reached the eyes. Emma resisted the sudden urge to slap the smile from the woman's face. She fought down the desire to shout, to yell, to do anything to shatter the moment, before it carried itself to the dreadful conclusion waiting in the office at the end of the hallway. Instead she just brushed past the woman, steeling her nerves and stiffening her spine as she entered the door she'd only gone through once in the entire time Cody had been seeing Dr. Jung.
That last time, when she'd entered she'd been enchanted briefly, instantly relieved by the way it had differed from the offices she'd been in before. From the door all you could see was a wall taken up by large clear windows, letting beams of sunlight shine down on child sized chairs and tables, all made of cheerfully colored plastic. An assortment of bright toys and games shined in and reflected the light, set about in casual disarray, giving off the impression of relaxed informality and carefree innocence. Cody's brilliantly blue eyes had lit the first time he'd seen them. Dr. Jung himself had laughed as he tousled the little boy's sandy brown hair and indulgently told him to go play with whatever he wanted. Cody had cautiously looked up at his mother for her permission, ever the polite and considerate boy. All it took was a small nod of her head to send him off like a rocket, nervousness forgotten as he raced over to the piles of toys. For a second Emma had been filled with hope, this doctor might be different from what she was expecting; this whole nightmare might come to some happy resolution.
Then Dr. Jung had taken her to the other half of the office, the half that fulfilled every reservation Emma had of such miserable places, crushing that fleeting hope by reminding her that Cody wasn't here to have fun, he was here because something was wrong. Terribly wrong. It had everything she'd always hated; a gigantic ancient oaken desk, walls of books and far more plaques than could possibly be necessary, even an ancient bust of some long dead father of modern psychology. She'd been dreading her return to that deceptive office ever since.
And now she was back. Forewarned, playful little child's section didn't fill her with anything pleasant. Not even the view of Cody at play eased her mood. She felt none of the usual warmth as she watched him struggle to balance a pile of blocks, tongue sticking out distractedly as his tiny brow furrowed in concentration.
He sensed her attention, his blue eyes looking up and locking on her as he offered her possibly the first genuine smile the entire office had seen all day. It was an adorable smile in spite of the gap between his top front teeth. A tiny imperfection that Emma thought only made him look more perfect not less. The dentist had assured her that when his baby teeth fell out the replacements would undoubtedly grow in straighter, but a part of Emma almost hoped he was wrong and Cody would somehow keep that childlike little blemish. Would it be so wrong if he could stay a child forever?
Emma wasn't ready to face the alternative…but she'd been called in here to do just that hadn't she? With a sigh she waved and felt her stomach twist a little tighter as she returned his smile, thankful a thousand times over that little boy's aren't perceptive enough to know a real smile from a false one. All too soon his eyes tracked down to the blocks in his little hands and she turned away to face the side of the office that made her skin crawl with distaste.
Dr. Jung was already seated imposingly at his desk, surrounded by his trophies of learning. It was an unsubtle touch yet it still worked, playing on triggers in Emma's upbringing to associate such imagery with authority and obedience, hearkening back to her first trip to the principal's office. She sat down, knees trembling together and hands nervously wringing in her lap as soon as they were hidden from Dr. Jung's sight by the desk.
"Mrs. Jekyll," Dr. Jung's voice was already dripping with undoubtedly feigned sympathy, "I am afraid I have some bad news concerning your son Cody."
Unbidden Emma turned to look over her shoulder and find Cody again. He'd not moved, his head bent over his work while the soft beams of sunlight brought out hidden auburn streaks in his hair and cast his downturned face in shadow. In her heart she wondered if it would be the last time she could look at him like this, as just Cody, normal happy Cody. She was tempted horribly to leave then, close her ears to whatever Dr. Jung had to say and drag Cody from the office forever. Maybe if she ran fast enough she could escape the news that was waiting behind her turned back. It was foolish and she pushed the notion away. It was far too late for that now, it had possibly been too late the day he was born. She turned back around, hands gripping each other tightly and forcing herself to sit taller as she raised her tired blue eyes to meet the antique bifocals perched on Dr. Jung's nose.
"Wh-" her voice broke and she coughed lightly to cover the lapse before continuing, "What have you found? What's wrong with my baby?"
Dr. Jung looked down at his desk, idly leafing through an open file there before looking up at her.
"Mrs. Jekyll, I am sure you recall the reason you were recommended to come here, to consider his…issues with relating to his classmates."
Issues, Emma had to resist the urge to snort disdainfully at the careful word choice. Such a dry and clinically polite way to describe physically assaulting his classmates. Twice. The second time, a boy had been sent to the hospital for stitches afterwards and apparently it'd taken two teachers to pull Cody off of him. She'd refused to believe it at first, not her boy, not sweet little Cody. Yet there were too many witnesses to ignore, and then there were those damning bite marks on his teacher's arm. Sharp indentations still bright and red on bruised skin, each one a perfect tiny circle except for a telltale little gap. Yes, Emma recalled the reason perfectly. Sensing her discomfort, Dr. Jung accepted her curt nod, continuing when it became obvious Emma did not intend to speak of it.
"Well, yes, I have been talking with him extensively about this, and I'm afraid it's much more serious than we first thought."
Emma had been waiting for those very words, she thought she was prepared for them, yet she still felt her shoulders slump a bit, some of her resolve slipping.
"How serious, doctor? What's causing this?"
"Well Madame, it's not really a case of what…but who. Have you ever spoken with Cody about his friend?"
"Which one? He has a few at school, or…at least he did before all of this."
The doctor ruffled through the file, pulling out a few papers and pushing them across the desk. Emma lifted one hand from her lap, willing her fingers to stop their trembling as they rose from their hiding place below the desk and moved one of the papers closer for inspection. The first thing she registered was the crude boxlike letters of Cody's name in one corner identifying the artist. It was a picture, a crayon rendering of two boys at school. One was obviously Cody, the small boy wearing his favorite pale yellow shirt and his smile missing a single tooth in the middle. The other was unfamiliar to her, a boy in all black with green hair and an angry frown. Dr. Jung reached across and an ancient bony finger tapped the second boy.
"That one, Mrs. Jekyll. Duncan."
She looked at the picture, perplexed. She'd never seen a boy at the school with green hair; it was the kind of thing she doubted she'd forget. She looked up and shook her head in the negative. The doctor motioned the other papers and she looked at them all; the second boy, this Duncan, was in every one even, shockingly enough, the pictures of what she assumed was Cody's room. The ones of Cody and Duncan at home caused her the most discomfort and she looked up at Dr. Jung, biting her lip in worry.
"I…I don't recognize him at all doctor. And if he's been at our house it was never while I was home. Is this boy somehow connected to Cody's behavior?"
Dr. Jung reached across pulling the pictures back and neatly stacking them before returning them to the file. As he did so, he began speaking in an almost lecturing tone, for the moment forgetting his role in the façade to be sympathetic.
"No, I didn't think you would. When I first saw them I called his school; they have no records of a boy named Duncan, and certainly no children with such a…unique hair coloration. The truth is Mrs. Jekyll, there is no Duncan, or, should I say no such boy exists outside of Cody's head."
Emma felt a twist of confusion at the revelation. The doctor worded it as if it was some gigantic discovery, but Emma had been expecting something shocking, something to explain away the strange violent transformations in her son. She certainly hadn't been expecting it to take three months for the foremost child psychologist to decide Cody had an imaginary friend. She tried to keep her frustration in check, yet her next question was still given in a voice tinged with disbelief.
"So he made up this Duncan? Isn't that normal? Plenty of children imagine things that only they can see. How does this explain his attacking other children?!"
By the end of her question, she was higher in pitch and volume. She almost flinched in surprise at the hint of hysteria that had snuck into her into her voice. Quickly she looked over her shoulder and was relieved to see Cody still at work with the blocks, completely oblivious to her loss of control. She turned back to face the doctor, closing her eyes and rubbing her forehead to try and keep calm. She finished weakly.
"I'm sorry, I just…I don't…what's this supposed to mean for Cody?"
"Mrs. Jekyll, while it is true that plenty of children have imaginary friends that is not what I believe is happening here. Duncan is not just some twist of playful creativity. Duncan is very real, at least to Cody. A dangerously powerful hallucination. Mrs. Jekyll, it is my belief that your son is suffering from something called schizophrenia."
"You mean like what that Sybil Shepherd woman had?"
"Goodness no. What you're thinking of is something called split personality, or dissociative identity disorder. You'll find that nowadays that condition has been almost completely discounted, I presonally beleive it to be sheer poppycock. Nothing more than a side affect of improperly applied aggressive therapy tyhat has been given false credence by Hollywood and a generation of poorly trained pop psychologists. No, no Mrs. Jekyll, I assure you, that kind of thing is completely nonsensical. Schizophrenia, however is very real, a biological condition that is caused by chemical imbalances in the mind. It can lead to random thoughts and feelings that can express themselves in startling behavior changes and instability. Among other things."
"Are you sure he has it? How could he have gotten it?"
"While it's exceedingly unusual to diagnose it in someone so young, considering my findings, I think there's a very real probability here. The condition is usually genetic, but can also be brought about or worsened by trauma. We can't be sure with the information we have as to why. Your medical records are clean, as is your families, but the information you've provided on his father's side is very…incomplete. I need to know if his family had any history of mental instability?"
Emma looked uncomfortable, one hand slipping slowly to the corner of her eye in anticipation of the tears she was fighting back at the memory of her husband. Tears she'd been fighting since his death two years before. Her lips trembled softly and her voice was almost a whisper when she answered.
"I…I'm afraid I don't have much to offer you. Henry was never...close to his family. I've never met any of them myself. They didn't even show up for his funeral."
Dr. Jung pursed his lips, clearly uncomfortable at moving into territory that strayed from his personal field of expertise. He coughed awkwardly and adjusted his bifocals to sit higher on his pointed nose before continuing.
"That must have been very hard for you," he paused, unsure what else to say before simply continuing with his questions. "Prior to his death, did Mr. Jekyll display any unusual behaviors? Schizophrenia can often express itself in mood shifts, paranoia, hearing and seeing things, increased isolation, and often depression," Dr. Jung's voice trailed off at the list before he coughed awkwardly and finished in a rush, "You also listed your husband's manner of death as an accident, but provided nothing further. I must insist on the details no matter how embarrassing or disturbing. I'm afraid I have to know, extreme depression and self-destructive behaviors are often symptoms of the late stages of schizophrenia."
Emma stared at him in shock, not quite believing she'd heard him clearly. Surely he hadn't just implied... The tears that had been threatening dried up instantly before a wave of rising anger. Cold steel edged her indignant reply and she slipped her hand back into her lap, concealing the clenched fist she was balling it into.
"Dr. Jung. My husband died in a car accident. I did not list the details, because I do not know them. I do know that he did not, ki-" she cut herself off, not even willing to give voice the absurd implication that her husband was suicidal. She leaned in to keep the rest of her words inaudible to Cody. "He woul dnever have done something like that. Henry loved Cody and I far too much to even think of-" Again Emma found herself stalling at even thinking of such a horrifying idea. Steering away from the thoguht she listed the facts for Dr. Jung as calmly and cooly as she could manage. "It was just a car accident. Henry often took long trips for work. He was trying to get back home early rather then spend another night at a motel, so he called to let me know he was driving through the night. The weather turned stormy and... He must have been tired, his car lost control. As far as the police could tell he slipped into oncoming traffic. His death was instantaneous. And three other people died in that pileup, even if Henry was...as you are implying...he'd never have done it in a way that might have hurt anyone else. My husband was a kind-hearted man. If your trying to blame this on my Henry, look for some other reason."
Dr. Jung edged away in response to her aggressive advance, one hand working to loosen the tie at his throat as he avoided meeting her gaze.
"Yes…well, the condition is not always just genetic. It can also be triggered by trauma such as that which might be suffered at the loss of a…" he coughed, "loss of a father figure. With or without genetic support, I still stand by the diagnosis. He shows a fairly large number of indicators."
Emma leaned back in her seat, the anger flowing out of her as she left the ghost of her husband behind and returned to the problem of the moment. Cody. She had to focus on Cody's needs right now.
"So…my son's…condition. What are these other indicators? Surely after three months you have something more solid than a few pictures."
Dr. Jung nodded as he reached into his desk, pulling out a worn tape recorder.
"There are several tests that I've proctored of course, but I think the most convincing thing I can offer you as proof is an interview with Duncan himself. I make it a practice to record the audio on all of my sessions. It helps to be able to review them later for things I missed during the actual notes, such as tone change, inflection, unusual hesitation…" Dr. Jung trailed off when he realized he was droning. He coughed and returned to the topic at hand, "I was asking him about the 'incident' with the other boy at school when I made this particular tape. I think you'll find…well, really you should just listen. It will make things much clearer than any explanation I could provide."
Emma nodded mutely staring at the old-fashioned tape recorder. Dr. Jung pressed the play and adjusted the volume to be low enough not to carry across the office. Soft static littered the background of the recording, a sign of the age of the device.
"Now Cody, today I want to talk to you about what happened at school. Tell me about why you started the fight."
"I d-d-didn't do nofing. Momma says it's wong to fight, an..an' I wouwdn't do anyfing that's wong."
"But Cody, the teachers and all your classmates say they saw you attack that boy. If you didn't do it then who did?"
"It wasn't me. D-d-duncan did it."
"Ah yes Duncan, you've mentioned him before. How did Duncan make it look like you hit the boy? Do you mean he told you to do it?"
"N-n-no. I m-mean yeah, he towd me too do it fiwst, but I didn't do it. I d-didn't even when he yewwed at me. I couwdn't cause its wong. So then he just…" Silence except for a soft rustle of cloth, barely audible over the static, perhaps the sound of a small boy shrugging his shoulders. "he just did it."
"Duncan just hit the boy? Using your hand?"
"Yeah…"
Cody's voice trailed off miserably and for a few moments there was only the sound of a pencil scratching and paper rustling as Dr. Jung took notes.
"Cody, do you know why Duncan would want to hit the other boy?"
"Cause he was cwying. D-duncan hates it when people cwy. It makes him mad."
"And why does Duncan hate it when people cry?"
"I don't know."
"Do you hate it when people cry?"
"Yes. They'we sad. I d-don't wike it when they'we sad."
"Do you think Duncan doesn't like it for the same reasons you don't? Maybe you and Duncan feel the same way about the crying?"
"No!!" Cody's voice took on an inflection of fear here as he spoke faster, his already childlike voice rising to an almost squeaky pitch as he worked himself into a panic. "Duncan an' I awent awike! I w-wanted to cheew Awex up with a hug. D-duncan wouwdn't hug anyone. He's too mean. He just want's to huwt peopwe! Duncan's bad, he's bad, bad, bad! I'm not wike him, I'm not!" By the time Cody finished his voice had trailed off to nothing but broken sobs.
"Cody…calm down. It's ok. I'm sorry I said that. You and Duncan are clearly nothing alike. You're a very good boy. Don't cry its going to be ok." Abruptly the sound of sobbing stopped almost mid gasp, dying off in a chillingly sudden silence.
"WHY? Why did you make him cry?! I HATE it when he cries! Shut up cry baby! Stop whining!"
Icy fingers trailed down Emma's back, eliciting a shiver of terror in response to what she'd just heard. Her head snapped around to look at her angelic son still playing innocently with his blocks. Fearfully, her eyes trailed back to the tape recorder, the dawning horror finally breaking apart that dull weight that had settled in her stomach when the nurse called her name. It was melting it into countless flittering sensations of unease. Her fingers clenched the desk in front of her in a painful grip, the hard edges cruelly digging into her palms. She leaned inward, moving closer to the tape recorder and holding her breath to hear as clearly as she could. Emma knew that voice, any mother would recognize the sound of her own son, but she'd never heard Cody like this. No lisp, no meek tone, none of the cheery warmth that always made him sound so lively. It was harsh, biting, filled with a cold anger that was alien, different from anything she'd ever heard from him before. Hearing him like this, it took no stretch of imagination to understand how the boy being recorded could attack someone.
"Cody? What's going on?"
"Leave me alone. Leave us both alone. You made him cry and now he won't stop!"
"Cody I don't understand you aren't crying."
"STOP calling me Cody! My name is Duncan stupid. I know I'm not crying, he is! Why would I cry? Just 'cause some stupid dork with glasses asked me something? He's the stupid cry baby! Now he won't stop it! He's in my head and he won't shut up! I HATE it! Make him stop! I hate it!" The sound of objects being swept off a table and onto the floor could be heard clearly.
"Cody? Please stop. Cody….Duncan? Stop this Duncan. Nurse?! Nurse, come in, please…"
The sounds of a door opening and a brief scuffle could be made out through the static, as well as the muffled thumb of objects crashing against the carpet.
The playback stopped abruptly with a harsh click as Dr. Jung turned off the recorder. Emma turned glistening eyes to him in disbelief. He offered perhaps the first true sympathy of the evening as he rubbed his balding forehead awkwardly. He cleared his throat a few times before going on.
"Mrs. Jekyll, I'm very convinced of my diagnosis of Cody's condition."
"Wha-" Emma's voice broke again as she struggled to breathe around the tightening knot in her chest. She coughed violently to clear her throat before continuing. "What's going to happen to him?"
"Well if untreated, the condition can be expected to worsen. Eventually he will begin drifting more and more into this fantasy world and lose touch with reality. You can expect more outbursts as this Duncan figment begins to exert control over Cody's decisions. I'm afraid your son is very meek. Under constant pressure he will undoubtedly begin to give in more and more to 'Duncan's' suggestions, perhaps even deluding himself into believing he is becoming Duncan."
"So, this Duncan will take over my baby?"
Dr. Jung shook his head and clucked his tongue in disagreement.
"No, nothing like that. What you're suggesting is impossible I assure you. What you heard was not actually Duncan, I cannot stress that enough, it was Cody acting out under the delusion of being Duncan."
"But…that boy said that Cody was there with him…in his head, crying."
"Just another delusion, another voice he imagined up as crying in his head. It was always Cody the entire time. What you're worrying over, a person being trapped in their own mind by another fragment of their personality; it's the kind of thing that happens in a science fiction story, not reality."
Dr. Jung's voice had taken a dismissive tone as he waved away her most pressing fears. Though Emma was not in any way assured by his manner, she left the worry to the side to focus on the most pressing matter; the hope he had dangled in his words earlier, a cure.
"You said 'if untreated.' What kind of treatments are there? Can we get rid of this…this figment?"
"Well schizophrenia responds very well to medication. It is a chemical imbalance, after all. I've taken the liberty to write up a script for Thorazine. We'll start with this and see how he responds. If he still seeing and hearing things in a few weeks we can try Prolixin or Haldol. It might take some time but there's nothing to overtly worry about. There are countless medicines that have shown success in completely eliminating the hallucinatory aspects of the disorder. We will find the one, or combination of ones, to treat your son."
Emma nodded weakly, twisting inside at the idea of tossing pills at her child till one worked, but finding herself dumbly agreeing, her thoughts being numbed by a rising wave of despair.
"And if…when we find the right one? How long will he have to take it till this all goes away?"
Dr. Jung shook his head sadly.
"Mrs. Jekyll, I'm afraid there is no permanent cure for this condition. Medication can only relieve the symptoms, not remove the underlying cause. I'm afraid he cannot stop taking the medication. If he was to interrupt the treatment or something was to disrupt it, then his condition would begin to deteriorate again. This is something the two of you are going to have to deal with for the rest of his life."
Those words broke the floodgates, shattering what restraint Emma still had managed to hold. She'd always prided herself on her ability to maintain a calm public exterior even under extreme conditions, but how could she sit unmoved while being told Cody would never be able to have a normal life? She bent before the cruel weight that had been placed upon her shoulders, her face falling into her upraised hands to catch the tears that misery squeezed from stinging eyes.
Across from her, Dr. Jung squirmed uncomfortably, his specialty was children and while he'd dealt with grieving parents before, it was never something he'd gotten particularly good at. The skills one used for calming children were vastly different from adults, especially adults you'd just personally handed terrible news to. Fortunately for both Emma and Dr. Jung, there was someone present who was far better at the personal touch than the aged therapist.
Slowly Emma became aware of something other than twisting misery and the throbbing burn in her chest where her lung's ached at the burden of fueling her ragged sobs. A tight, warm constriction was squeezing into her leg and she moved her hands from her face to look down at her feet, where a small yellow blur clung fiercely to her. With trembling fingers she rubbed her eyes, to clear the unshed tears that were still distorting her vision. Red rimmed eyes looked down into two tiny blue irises that watched her, their shade the same achingly vibrant summer sky hue as her own, peeking thorugh soft brown bangs the way Henry's eyes always had. A small face pressed its check tightly against her knee, and she could feel the tremble of sincerity and emotion in Cody's tiny frame when he pleadingly begged her to stop.
"Momma, don't cwy. I don't wike it when you cwy."
Two emotions lanced through her bruised heart, love and fear both brought out by the innocently spoken request. It hauntingly reminded her of the recording, reminding her that crying had set off his last attack. It was a sickening thought to both adore you child and fear him, finding your maternal response inhibited by a wary caution, as you looked down at a face you knew so well and wonder what lay beneath it. Where she had faltered when it had only been herself, confronted by her child, and perhaps by another boy within, she found the strength to put back on that calm mask of acceptance and 'normality.' She sniffled once, and took a deep breath that turned into a choked cough, before letting one hand rest gently on Cody's head, ruffling those locks that were so reminiscent of Henry.
"I'm sorry baby. I'm ok now. It was just…I…I'm ok now."
Not entirely convinced, Cody did not relax his hold nor his concerned gaze in the slightest. Across the desk Dr. Jung broke their shared stare as he pushed a prescription across the table to her and cleared his throat to get her attention. She picked it up, reading it automatically though she had no actual knowledge of the drug listed or how to understand the instructions written there for the pharmacist.
"What's that momma?"
Emma looked down and debated the truth. It was a strange thing for her to have to debate. She was not a big one for fibbing to children. She'd never bothered with the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy, and only intended to bend for Santa for another year, just until he was old enough to understand he shouldn't say anything at school and spoil it for the other children. Such little lies were distasteful to her for all their innocence. It was one thing to put up false pretenses for the rest of the world, but she'd always stressed honesty between herself and Cody. It felt wrong wrapping children in a fantasy world that might do more harm than good in the long run when you had to confess the truth later. But this once was the real world just a little too much? Was being honest just an excuse for being selfish? Without Henry here, would she be telling him because she didn't want to have to suffer alone? Didn't Cody deserve a chance to live without worrying about this for a little while?
Emma finally made her decision. This was one secret that could wait. As long as was necessary. She would keep this one close until she was sure he could handle it on his own, till he'd found a way to fit in and enjoy that normal life he deserved first. In spite of her decision, an outright lie was so foreign to her that she couldn't just utter one to him. The best she could manage was to omit the truth. Most of it at least.
"Just a suggestion for some vitamins, dear. Dr. Jung thinks they'll make you feel a lot better and maybe even make Duncan go away, wont that be good?"
A wave of nausea slipped through Emma; a combination of the tense knot that had only just released its grip on her stomach in, her recent crying, and the sickening feeling she felt speaking a half-truth to her own son. For his part, Cody just looked up at her trustingly and nodded mutely, making everything even worse with how easily he believed her. Then Dr. Jung stood up, slipping into the final steps of the rehearsed game that had made her hate doctors so much. Emma flinched when his hand touched her shoulder consolingly, even though she'd been expecting it. She stood stiffly before looking at the doctor and feeling the fake smile grudgingly slip across her face.
She barely registered his parting words, though she did nod politely, mechanically playing her role. Outside, in the waiting room, sat the nurse. The interaction required another 'everything is normal' smile from Emma. A quick exchange followed with no real emotion behind it.
"No problems with next Tuesday. Yes, 3 o'clock will be just fine. See you then. Goodbye"
As she left the hated waiting room, she felt no relief, not even when a small hand slipped into her own and gripped as tightly as it could. She tossed a sad look down at her baby boy, before letting her lips pull upward into the same smile she'd offered the nurse. She could carry this one alone for now. Home would be just like one big doctor's office, she would keep the pretenses up no matter what she felt inside. At least for a little while. She could wait at home too, wait until he was ready. For Cody.