A stone floor strewn haphazardly with brightly colored rugs like so many
oasis in a desert of monotony. Standing beside a window, the shutter
opened slightly, stood a dark haired man, wearing only a pair of wool
trousers as black as his hair. He rested his forehead against the wall,
black eyes half closed, watching the petite blond woman asleep in the huge
bed her silky hair spread over the pillow. He stood barefoot on the cold
stone floor, ignoring the dozens of rugs, the wide expanse of skin across
his back shone in the light of a dozen candles. Pale as death, except
where it was crisscrossed with scars, some thin, some thick as a man's
thumb. Some of the scars were faded with age and others seemed to be still
pink, as though fresher.
Alert, always alert, the man became aware that his companions breathing had changed. He opened his eyes keeping his head against the wall, but angling his eyes over to the bed. He watched as sleep was pushed aside and awareness entered her mind. Blue eyes opened and it seemed to the pale man against the wall that the sun had just risen and darkness chased away, if only for a moment. The petite woman on the bed sat up, holding the bed covers against her chest, casting her eyes around until they rested on the man against the wall. She smiled, brilliantly and the man was reminded once more of the sun.this time coming through the clouds on a stormy day to illuminate the world heavy with darkness. She shone at him, momentarily causing him to forget what he had to say.what he hated to say. Schooling his voice, he spoke in softly,
"Kelly..this can't be. It shouldn't have happened and it must never happen again."
The smiled slipped from the blond's face, her eyes clouded with confusion and she spoke, her voice musical, but filled with the same confusion that filled her eyes,
"Sev.what are you talking about? I don't understand.."
Closing his eyes, he carefully schooled his face and voice to calm, blanking his face he turned to face her, revealing a chest as scarred as his back, and strode to the bed,
"This was a mistake, Kelly.it shouldn't have happened at all. And it will never.never happen again. You have to stay away from me, for your own safty. But if you won't do it for your safety, then do it for mine. You have to understand..he's back, Kelly. Being near me is dangerous.and if they ever find out that I...care about you, it will be even more dangerous. For everyone."
Sitting up, the blond glared at the dark haired man as she reached down and grabbed a crisp white shirt, donning it angrilly as she snapped at her dark haired companion,
"Bullshit! Look..if you regret what happened last night, then be honest. Don't give me some half baked crap about being dangerous." She took a deep breath and went on, calmer, her voice more beseaching, "Sev..please...don't do this. I know that things are difficult.. But we can work through this..just don't shut me out"
The man turned to look at her, his eyes hard and cold, an expression that many students could have told her meant it was time to leave. Fast. Reaching down he picked up his black robes, refusing to acknowledge how good she looked in his shirt, he donned his robes and said, coldly,
"Fine, Ke.Ms Sephirus. No bullshit, last night was an encounter that shall not be repeated. I have no further use of you. Kindly do both of us a favor and stay away from me."
Shocked, the woman stared at him as he donned his robes, then she lept to his feet,
"Sev.please. I know you care about me. Don't destroy this.don't kill what we have..."
With a mirthless smile, Sev finished buttoning his robes and spoke softly,
"There is nothing between us to destroy, Ms Sephirus. We had sex. It's over. Don't presume to know what I do or do not feel. If you think that because I shared your body I have some desire to share your heart, you're a fool...I care nothing for you. You were a means to an end."
Kelly's eyes flashed with blue fire as she stalked toward Sev and snarled,
"Get the IHELL(/I) out of here, Sev...I never want to see you again.you heartless bastard!"
Crossing his arms across his chest, Sev smiled coldly and said,
"Unfortunately, as we are both currently employed in the same place, it's not possible to never see each other, however I suggest you stay as far away from me as possible and I shall reciprocate."
"Fine with me, you bastard.."
"Good day, Ms Sephirus...thank you for a most.enjoyable evening"
Sev stepped out of the door and shut it, leaning against it a moment. Then something heavy hit the door with a great force and shattered into a million pieces. Severus Snape, potions master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry knew exactly how it felt..his heart was in similar condition. =========================================================================== Three days later, at dinner, Severus sat in his usual position at the Teachers Table in the Great Hall, picking at his food as he listened half heartedly to the conversation of Minerva McGonagal to his left. But his attention was not on his food, or his conversation nor even on the small mass of students who remained at the school while their parents were involved in the dangerous work of defeating the evil of Lord Valdemort. No, his attention was mainly located half way down the table beyond Headmaster Albus Dumbledore where Kelly Sephirus was currently engaged in an intense flirtation with Sirius Black. Not that it surprised Severus. Sirius Black, his old enemy, had shown a deep and abiding interest in the small vivacious blond the moment they had met the week before this session.
Severus felt a light hand on his arm and looked down, surprise. People rarely touched him;so when they did, it always alarmed him. He always waited for the blow that his mind felt was sure to follow. He followed the hand up to Minerva McGonagal's face. Her eyes were compassionate as she said, softly,
"I'm sorry Severus..I had hoped."
Covering her hand with his own a brief moment, before he removed it, Severus smiled tightly and said,
"Don't be, Minerva..it's for the best. If Sirus can make her happy and keep her safe, then I wish her well. You know the situation better than most.."
Glancing over at Sirius and Kelly, Minerva pursed her lips and said,
"Still.I think."
Before Minerva could finish her thought, Sirius and Kelly stood up and left the Great Hall, their concentration on each other complete. Minerva began to speak, but Severus covered her hand for a split second to forstall her words and said,
"Don't Minerva.You'll have to excuse me, I have student's papers to grade..Good evening."
Severus stood and strode from the Great Hall, his robes billowing around him like a living thing.
Minerva watched him go and said,
"I'm worried about him, Albus.."
Albus Dumbledore sighed, reaching over to cover her hand with his own,
"I know Minerva.I know..I worry about them all."
Turning her attention to Albus, Minerva noted that Albus looked every bit of his 153 years old. Sighing Minerva said,
"I'm worried about you too, Albus..."
Smiling sadly at her, Albus Dumbledore said,
"These are hard times Minerva..and I'm afraid they'll get worse before they get better. We're fighting not only for our lives, but for the lives of the entire world, Wizardling IAND/I Muggle." His eyes flicked to where Severus Snape had dissappeared through and went on, "There will be much pain, and much loss. All we can hope is that in victory, we don't lose what we were fighting for."
Nodding, Minerva's eyes went to where Harry Potter sat surrounded by his friends, then back to the Head Table and the remaining teachers.so many gone. Sweet Professor Sprout, caught alone by Valdemort's supporters while buying seedlings, defenseless as one of her budding plants. Firey Madame Hooch, who tried to save a group of Wizards from Death Eathers attentions and had paid for her interference with her life. Professor Flitwick, alive, thank God, but badly injured. He was just now beginning to resume normal activity. And by far those in the most danger.doing the most dangerous jobs. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and especially Severus Snape. Those three were so vastly different.yet so remarkedly the same. The fact that Sirius Black and Severus Snape still didn't like each other much came as no surprise. What did surprise Minerva was the friendship that had grown up between Remus and Severus. Minerva smiled a little. Remus Lupin, a Gryffindor who should have been a Ravenclaw.and Severus Snape, a Slytherin who should have been anything else. Of course Albus would tell her what he'd been telling her for years.that there was nothing wrong with Slytherins. That it was just her predjudice showing. And she acknowledged that he was probably correct. Her eyes were drawn back to Harry Potter and his friends. She spoke softly,
"Oh Albus.such a small shoulders to be holding so much hope..."
Albus squeezed her hand again, he knew, he always knew, exactly what she was talking about.
"I know Minerva.but we have to have faith. That's really all we have left...." =========================================================================== Severus Snape made his way through the old Castle to his rooms in the dungeon. By rote he nodded to the few students and staff members who roamed the halls. At the door to his classroom he paused to check his wards, finding them still intact, of course. Then he strode over to his office, pausing with his hand on the door. He really did have papers to grade, but for some reason he just couldn't face entering his office and grading them. Normally, he would have forced himself to fulfil his obligations.or take a long walk around the Lake before he entered his office. But tonight he couldn't face those papers.and he was afraid of running into Sirius and Kelly by the lake. With a heavy sigh, Severus turned and walked toward his quarters.
Severus knew immediately that the wards on his quarters had been compromised. And further, after the first rush of fear and dread, he knew who had compromised them. Cautiously, but only because that was his nature, Severus pushed the door open and entered, his wand in his hand. He looked around his room and his gaze came to rest on a figure across the room, curled in a chair as though he was still the wolf he became once a month. Closing the door, Severus put his wand away and said,
"Good evening Remus.is there something that I can do for you?"
Severus ignited the candles in the room with a word as he walked over to the fireplace and lit a fire. The evening was not cold, but he felt chilled. Glancing over at Remus' face, Severus noticed that he looked upset, indeed, it appeared as though Remus had been crying. This did not surprise Severus since he was aware that Remus was extemely sensitive. Severus poured himself a drink from the flask on the side table and noticed that the bottle was considerably lower than it had been before dinner. Sighing, Severus thought to himself,
IOh Lord.just wanted I wanted to face tonight.a drunk, distraught Werewolf/I
Hours later, Severus was returning to his own quarters after getting the severely intoxicated Remus to his own bed. Severus wondered, not for the first time, why Remus put up with what he did. And why nature was so cruel as to force a Werewolf to mate for life. Sighing, Severus was looking forward to a nights sleep, the last few days had been so emotionally charged.including a mission that he had not wanted to do, but had no choice. Suddenly, he froze, stepping backward into the shadows of a tapestry as two people came around the corner, their entire attention on each other. Sirius Black and Kelly Sephirus were kissing like they were connected at the lips, stumbling down the corridor. Severus was almost holding his breath as the couple fell into the door to Kelly's quarters which opened. They fell into the room and the door shut behind them. Severus almost wimpered, then forced himself to push the pain away. Standing tall, Severus strode toward the dungeon, those papers were still waiting.
11 Months Later
Severus Snape sat in his office, on his desk was a glass of liquer , nearly empty and in his hand was a piece of parchment. He'd read and re- read it so many times this day that he could repeat it by heart. Heart..now there was a word. He felt as though his had been stomped on. This should have been the happiest day of his life. Valdemort was dead, well and truly. The Dark Mark that had so disgusted him for so long was gone.faded like Valdemort's life had faded.
They had won, the long sought victory was theirs. But the price of that victory..Gods, the price was so steep. Harry Potter.the deliverer of Valdemort's life to the darkness he had so earned. Harry Potter, the valient youth even he, the despised Potions Master had come to appreciate, dead now like so many others. Harry's best friend, Ron Weasly.dead. Ron's brothers Bill and Percy, dead. Mrs Weasly dead. So many dead now.friends, enemies, people he didn't know, people he cared about. Albus...Albus, his mentor.Albus who had been more of a father to him than his true father had ever been.
Tears filled Severus' eyes and he forced them away, it was only through the sacrifice of Albus and Harry Potter that they'd been able to kill Voldemort. And even those that had not died were indelibly and permanently changed. Minerva, now without the love of her life, Remus so badly hurt that they had almost lost him. Even Sirius hadn't come out of it unscathed. Though at least Sirius and Remus had found something postive in all the negitive.
And now this.a letter from Kelly Sephirus. A letter that set his life on edge. Severus had thought that he'd never hear from her again after she had gone into hiding all those months ago. This letter was more of a shock than he's ever had, especially since the letter had been written almost a year ago and had only been found after Voldemort's destruction and Albus' death two weeks ago. It had been delivered to him yesterday. *****************************************************
Dear Severus.
I know you never expected to hear from me again, and after this, you won't. I've given this letter to Albus to give to you when he feels it's safe for you to know the truth. You know, you really were a bastard to me.but I think I understand why now. But those facts change nothing. I loved you. I loved so much it hurt. When you treated me the way you did, it hurt me worse than you can ever know. But it did something else too. It freed me. And it made me aware that I had to fight Voldemort with more than words. I had to stand up for my world, so I would have a world to stand up for. You taught me that. And for that I thank you.
I know that you're aware of my relationship with Sirius. And worse, I know that hurt it hurt you. At the time I convinced myself that you deserved that pain. Now, I'm not so sure anyone did. And worse, now I know that that relationship hurt others who didn't deserve to be hurt.
Now we get to the reason for this letter. The truth behind all these words. Severus, I'm pregnant. The Doctors say it's a set of twins. I don't know if you're the father or if Sirius is and frankly I don't care. These are my babies and I'm going to give them all the things that you never had. All the things that our poor lost souls never had. I'm going to give them love and acceptance and maybe, if we're all very lucky, I'm going to give them magic.
I wanted to stand at your side, at Sirus' side and fight the evil that is affecting your world.our world. I wanted to stand with you and fight the evil. But I've decided to fight the evil in a different way. I'm going to fight it be giving to the Wizardling world what Voldemort is trying to take away.the future.
Don't try to find me. I'm going to the Muggle world until I give birth, or until Voldemort is destroyed, I feel that this is the best way to keep these babies safe. Albus has promised to send for me as soon as it is safe. And to make it more safe, Albus is the only one who will know where I am.
Stay safe, Sev. And remember, please.you are as much a child of the light as Harry Potter or Albus Dumbledore himself. You're just a child of the light wearing sunglasses.
Stay safe Kelly Sephirus
******************************************************** Severus took a long drink of his liquor and set the letter carefully on the desk. Then he set the glass down and picked up the letter, re-read it and then carefully put it back in the envelope. Children. It was possible he had two children out there. He did the math carefully in his head and realized that they might already be born.could have been born while Albus was dying. While he was mourning for those lost, those children might have found life. And he had no way to find them. The secret of Kelly's location had died with Albus. His thoughts strayed to Sirius Black, his old enemy, his recent conspiritor. He knew that Minerva had given Sirus a letter tonight as well, so he assumed that it contained the same basic facts his own did.
Severus had little time to dwell on that thought when his office door slammed open, hitting the wall hard and the object of his thoughts, looking as bad as he knew he himself did, strode in. Severus looked up at Sirus' haggard face and sighed, reaching into his desk and taking out another glass, he set it on the desk and poured it half full of the same amber liquid he was drinking, after he took a pull from the bottle to show the normally suspicious Black it wasn't poisoned. As Black sat down and swallowed half his drink in one gulp, Severus thought amused,
INot that it would prove it wasn't poisoned.I can name as least a hundred poisons that would kill Black and wouldn't even make me sick./I
Black waved an envelope identical to Severus' own in the air and said, meeting Severus' black eyes with his own blearly black ones,
"You got one too, didn't you?"
Severus raised his own letter momentarilly and nodded,
"Yes. You do realise in your highly intoxicated state that we have absolutely no hope of finding her don't you? Albus took her secret to his grave. "
Sirius glared at him,
"I am INOT/I drunk, Snape. And yes, I do know we can't find her. What the hell am I going to do? I've got kids out there and I can't find them!"
Severus sat back in his chair and observed Black from under his eye lashes, it was just like the vain Gryffindor to determine that the children were his and not Snape's. Normally, Severus would have been infuriated, but at this point, he was just too damn tired and hurt to feel anything that strongly. So he merely stated, softly,
"Assuming they are yours Black.."
That shut him up, and the fact that Black didn't respond with violence or rudeness was testiment to the fact that he too was tired and hurting. Sighing again, Severus reached out and filled both their glasses, then lifted his and said,
"Here, Black.here's to love lost and lost loves."
With out a word, Black raised his glass and they drank together. They were both silent for a long time, each lost in their own thoughts. ==============================================
Eleven years later-the August 31
Severus Snape was not happy. Here it was, the day before the first day of classes and he was definitely not ready. It was not, however, for want of trying. Every time he settled down to work, someone or something walked in and disturbed him. Remus Lupin had been in twice asking to borrow books for his Defence Against Dark Arts classes. Sirius Black had been in at least a dozen times, each time was a different reason that he came up with on the spur of the moment because he couldn't speak of what he wanted to. Sighing, Severus sat back and stretched. The reason that Black was so upset wasn't his Transfiguration classes, he'd been teaching those for ten years. It was because this would be the year that Kelly's children would be here at the Hogwarts; if they had survived and if they were magical. This would be the year that either he, or Sirius Black met their children. Shaking his head, he thought to himself,
IIt's a damn good thing I've been teaching these Potions classes long enough that I could teach them in my sleep, because it's obvious that I'm not going to have the opportunity to get anything resembling class notes together before tomorrow. /I
Shaking his head again with a soft smile that no student would ever see, Severus started working on his notes again, dipping his quill into the ink bottle. Before he could even write an entire word, however, there was a knock on his door. Muttering a curse, Severus glared at the door and snapped,
"Black.if that's you again, I'm going to put you in a jar and use you to scare my first year Gryffindors.."
The door opened, but it was Headmistress Minerva McGonagal that stepped in, her eyes twinkling as she said,
"My goodness, Severus.such threats! And what would the Slytherin first years say about having their Transfiguration professor in a jar in their Potions master's classroom?"
Giving her a rare, real smile, Severus said,
"The Slytherins would say that we had finally found a good place to stash Gryffindor troublemakers. I'm sorry Minerva..Black's been dropping in here for no apparent reason all damn week."
Minerva chuckled,
"Now Severus.you know very well why Sirius has been coming down here. He's on pins and needles about a certain set of First Years. And I must say, I expected you to a bit more excited as well..after all, these could very well be your children."
Looking up at her sharply, Severus said,
"Did they get letters then?"
Minerva walked over and sat in a chair in front of his desk, smiling at him she said,
"Yes, Severus.both of Kelly's children have gotten their letters. "
Hesitantly, Severus said,
"Did you..errr.did you happen to notice their names or anything, Minerva?"
Minerva steepled her fingers and rested her elbows on the table in front of Severus, watching him over her hands. Finally smiling, Minerva stood up and started toward the door, saying over her shoulder,
"Yes, I did, Severus.their two girls. Both go by their mother's last name."
Closing his eyes, Severus sighed. He'd hoped Kelly would have given some indication of whose children they were. Minerva's soft voice jarred him out of his revere, however,
"The girls are named Severa and Siria, Severus. So I guess we'll have to wait to see if they look like either of you."
Minerva walked out of the room and shut the door softly leaving Severus to sit at his desk and try to come to grips with what he'd just heard. The first day of the term was horrid, it always was. But this first day of worse than normal. Sirius was a nervous wreck, Remus wasn't far behind, even Minerva wasn't the calm, cool collected Headmistress she normally was. And Severus Snape was really no different, he just hid it better. He'd had more practice. Even the normally jolly Hagrid was feeling the tenseness that filled the school.
Severus sat the his customary place at the head table, his face cool and unreadable. To his left sat Headmistress Minerva McGonagal, to his right sat Sirius Black and on Sirius' other side sat his mate Remus Lupin. Sirius shifted back and forth like he was sitting on tacks, and Remus wasn't much better. Sighing, Severus stood up and leaned over Minerva,
"It's time, Minerva.I'm going to go and escort the First Years in."
Nodding, Minerva smiled up at him and said,
"Very good Severus.have I told you recently that I am very glad that I chose you as the Assistant Headmaster?"
Shaking his head, Severus said calmly,
"Of course you have, Minerva.each time you want me to refrain from injuring the little Hellions I have to teach.."
Minerva chuckled as she patted his hand before he could stand up and draw back into himself as he did so well.
Severus gathered his black cloak around himself and headed out of the Great Hall, only hesitating when he felt someone join him. Frowning, Severus looked over at Remus Lupin and Sirius Black who had joined him. Frowning, Severus said,
"Excuse me? Just where do you think you two are going?"
His face looking like a thundercloud, Sirius Black began a sarcastic comment that was forstaled by his mate, Remus Lupin's calm reply,
"I know it's out of the ordinary, Severus, but I thought since this is a bit out of the ordinary, Sirius and I might accompany you this time.."
Glaring at them both, Severus snarled,
"Like hell, Black..as Assistant Headmaster is my odius duty to escort the first years and I don't need your assistance..."
A discreet throat clearing interrupted them before Black could reply, his face as thunderous as Severus' own,
"Please, Sirus, Severus..you're setting a bad example for the students."
Remus Lupin closed his eyes as Black and Snape both turned to glare at Hermione Granger, the Junior Charms instructor. Hermione glared back and only the Headmistress's sudden presence prevented a bloodbath in the middle of the Great Hall. Minerva smiled at all of them, and said,
"Hermione, if you would take your seat please.Remus, you as well. Severus.please see the first years in.and Sirius, I'd appreciate it if you'd escort me to my seat..these old legs aren't what they used to be..."
Severus smiled triumphantly at Sirus, who began to argue,
"But Minerva.."
Sighing, Minerva said,
"Sirus, please.in case you've forgotten, you've got THREE sets of Weasly twins in Gryffindor already and two more sets highly possibly this year. As the head of Gryffindor, I'd very much appreciate it if you'd remain here in the Great Hall."
Knowing he was beaten, Sirus offered Minerva his arm and said, smiling,
"Yes, the Weasly's are prolific, aren't they, Minerva?", all the while glaring at Severus who smiled back as he turned and billowed out.
Severus stood at the top of the stairs and watched the first years flow into the castle. His black eyes moved from one to the other, searching for anything familiar. But all he saw was uniforms and dark, rainsoaked hair.
Alert, always alert, the man became aware that his companions breathing had changed. He opened his eyes keeping his head against the wall, but angling his eyes over to the bed. He watched as sleep was pushed aside and awareness entered her mind. Blue eyes opened and it seemed to the pale man against the wall that the sun had just risen and darkness chased away, if only for a moment. The petite woman on the bed sat up, holding the bed covers against her chest, casting her eyes around until they rested on the man against the wall. She smiled, brilliantly and the man was reminded once more of the sun.this time coming through the clouds on a stormy day to illuminate the world heavy with darkness. She shone at him, momentarily causing him to forget what he had to say.what he hated to say. Schooling his voice, he spoke in softly,
"Kelly..this can't be. It shouldn't have happened and it must never happen again."
The smiled slipped from the blond's face, her eyes clouded with confusion and she spoke, her voice musical, but filled with the same confusion that filled her eyes,
"Sev.what are you talking about? I don't understand.."
Closing his eyes, he carefully schooled his face and voice to calm, blanking his face he turned to face her, revealing a chest as scarred as his back, and strode to the bed,
"This was a mistake, Kelly.it shouldn't have happened at all. And it will never.never happen again. You have to stay away from me, for your own safty. But if you won't do it for your safety, then do it for mine. You have to understand..he's back, Kelly. Being near me is dangerous.and if they ever find out that I...care about you, it will be even more dangerous. For everyone."
Sitting up, the blond glared at the dark haired man as she reached down and grabbed a crisp white shirt, donning it angrilly as she snapped at her dark haired companion,
"Bullshit! Look..if you regret what happened last night, then be honest. Don't give me some half baked crap about being dangerous." She took a deep breath and went on, calmer, her voice more beseaching, "Sev..please...don't do this. I know that things are difficult.. But we can work through this..just don't shut me out"
The man turned to look at her, his eyes hard and cold, an expression that many students could have told her meant it was time to leave. Fast. Reaching down he picked up his black robes, refusing to acknowledge how good she looked in his shirt, he donned his robes and said, coldly,
"Fine, Ke.Ms Sephirus. No bullshit, last night was an encounter that shall not be repeated. I have no further use of you. Kindly do both of us a favor and stay away from me."
Shocked, the woman stared at him as he donned his robes, then she lept to his feet,
"Sev.please. I know you care about me. Don't destroy this.don't kill what we have..."
With a mirthless smile, Sev finished buttoning his robes and spoke softly,
"There is nothing between us to destroy, Ms Sephirus. We had sex. It's over. Don't presume to know what I do or do not feel. If you think that because I shared your body I have some desire to share your heart, you're a fool...I care nothing for you. You were a means to an end."
Kelly's eyes flashed with blue fire as she stalked toward Sev and snarled,
"Get the IHELL(/I) out of here, Sev...I never want to see you again.you heartless bastard!"
Crossing his arms across his chest, Sev smiled coldly and said,
"Unfortunately, as we are both currently employed in the same place, it's not possible to never see each other, however I suggest you stay as far away from me as possible and I shall reciprocate."
"Fine with me, you bastard.."
"Good day, Ms Sephirus...thank you for a most.enjoyable evening"
Sev stepped out of the door and shut it, leaning against it a moment. Then something heavy hit the door with a great force and shattered into a million pieces. Severus Snape, potions master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry knew exactly how it felt..his heart was in similar condition. =========================================================================== Three days later, at dinner, Severus sat in his usual position at the Teachers Table in the Great Hall, picking at his food as he listened half heartedly to the conversation of Minerva McGonagal to his left. But his attention was not on his food, or his conversation nor even on the small mass of students who remained at the school while their parents were involved in the dangerous work of defeating the evil of Lord Valdemort. No, his attention was mainly located half way down the table beyond Headmaster Albus Dumbledore where Kelly Sephirus was currently engaged in an intense flirtation with Sirius Black. Not that it surprised Severus. Sirius Black, his old enemy, had shown a deep and abiding interest in the small vivacious blond the moment they had met the week before this session.
Severus felt a light hand on his arm and looked down, surprise. People rarely touched him;so when they did, it always alarmed him. He always waited for the blow that his mind felt was sure to follow. He followed the hand up to Minerva McGonagal's face. Her eyes were compassionate as she said, softly,
"I'm sorry Severus..I had hoped."
Covering her hand with his own a brief moment, before he removed it, Severus smiled tightly and said,
"Don't be, Minerva..it's for the best. If Sirus can make her happy and keep her safe, then I wish her well. You know the situation better than most.."
Glancing over at Sirius and Kelly, Minerva pursed her lips and said,
"Still.I think."
Before Minerva could finish her thought, Sirius and Kelly stood up and left the Great Hall, their concentration on each other complete. Minerva began to speak, but Severus covered her hand for a split second to forstall her words and said,
"Don't Minerva.You'll have to excuse me, I have student's papers to grade..Good evening."
Severus stood and strode from the Great Hall, his robes billowing around him like a living thing.
Minerva watched him go and said,
"I'm worried about him, Albus.."
Albus Dumbledore sighed, reaching over to cover her hand with his own,
"I know Minerva.I know..I worry about them all."
Turning her attention to Albus, Minerva noted that Albus looked every bit of his 153 years old. Sighing Minerva said,
"I'm worried about you too, Albus..."
Smiling sadly at her, Albus Dumbledore said,
"These are hard times Minerva..and I'm afraid they'll get worse before they get better. We're fighting not only for our lives, but for the lives of the entire world, Wizardling IAND/I Muggle." His eyes flicked to where Severus Snape had dissappeared through and went on, "There will be much pain, and much loss. All we can hope is that in victory, we don't lose what we were fighting for."
Nodding, Minerva's eyes went to where Harry Potter sat surrounded by his friends, then back to the Head Table and the remaining teachers.so many gone. Sweet Professor Sprout, caught alone by Valdemort's supporters while buying seedlings, defenseless as one of her budding plants. Firey Madame Hooch, who tried to save a group of Wizards from Death Eathers attentions and had paid for her interference with her life. Professor Flitwick, alive, thank God, but badly injured. He was just now beginning to resume normal activity. And by far those in the most danger.doing the most dangerous jobs. Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and especially Severus Snape. Those three were so vastly different.yet so remarkedly the same. The fact that Sirius Black and Severus Snape still didn't like each other much came as no surprise. What did surprise Minerva was the friendship that had grown up between Remus and Severus. Minerva smiled a little. Remus Lupin, a Gryffindor who should have been a Ravenclaw.and Severus Snape, a Slytherin who should have been anything else. Of course Albus would tell her what he'd been telling her for years.that there was nothing wrong with Slytherins. That it was just her predjudice showing. And she acknowledged that he was probably correct. Her eyes were drawn back to Harry Potter and his friends. She spoke softly,
"Oh Albus.such a small shoulders to be holding so much hope..."
Albus squeezed her hand again, he knew, he always knew, exactly what she was talking about.
"I know Minerva.but we have to have faith. That's really all we have left...." =========================================================================== Severus Snape made his way through the old Castle to his rooms in the dungeon. By rote he nodded to the few students and staff members who roamed the halls. At the door to his classroom he paused to check his wards, finding them still intact, of course. Then he strode over to his office, pausing with his hand on the door. He really did have papers to grade, but for some reason he just couldn't face entering his office and grading them. Normally, he would have forced himself to fulfil his obligations.or take a long walk around the Lake before he entered his office. But tonight he couldn't face those papers.and he was afraid of running into Sirius and Kelly by the lake. With a heavy sigh, Severus turned and walked toward his quarters.
Severus knew immediately that the wards on his quarters had been compromised. And further, after the first rush of fear and dread, he knew who had compromised them. Cautiously, but only because that was his nature, Severus pushed the door open and entered, his wand in his hand. He looked around his room and his gaze came to rest on a figure across the room, curled in a chair as though he was still the wolf he became once a month. Closing the door, Severus put his wand away and said,
"Good evening Remus.is there something that I can do for you?"
Severus ignited the candles in the room with a word as he walked over to the fireplace and lit a fire. The evening was not cold, but he felt chilled. Glancing over at Remus' face, Severus noticed that he looked upset, indeed, it appeared as though Remus had been crying. This did not surprise Severus since he was aware that Remus was extemely sensitive. Severus poured himself a drink from the flask on the side table and noticed that the bottle was considerably lower than it had been before dinner. Sighing, Severus thought to himself,
IOh Lord.just wanted I wanted to face tonight.a drunk, distraught Werewolf/I
Hours later, Severus was returning to his own quarters after getting the severely intoxicated Remus to his own bed. Severus wondered, not for the first time, why Remus put up with what he did. And why nature was so cruel as to force a Werewolf to mate for life. Sighing, Severus was looking forward to a nights sleep, the last few days had been so emotionally charged.including a mission that he had not wanted to do, but had no choice. Suddenly, he froze, stepping backward into the shadows of a tapestry as two people came around the corner, their entire attention on each other. Sirius Black and Kelly Sephirus were kissing like they were connected at the lips, stumbling down the corridor. Severus was almost holding his breath as the couple fell into the door to Kelly's quarters which opened. They fell into the room and the door shut behind them. Severus almost wimpered, then forced himself to push the pain away. Standing tall, Severus strode toward the dungeon, those papers were still waiting.
11 Months Later
Severus Snape sat in his office, on his desk was a glass of liquer , nearly empty and in his hand was a piece of parchment. He'd read and re- read it so many times this day that he could repeat it by heart. Heart..now there was a word. He felt as though his had been stomped on. This should have been the happiest day of his life. Valdemort was dead, well and truly. The Dark Mark that had so disgusted him for so long was gone.faded like Valdemort's life had faded.
They had won, the long sought victory was theirs. But the price of that victory..Gods, the price was so steep. Harry Potter.the deliverer of Valdemort's life to the darkness he had so earned. Harry Potter, the valient youth even he, the despised Potions Master had come to appreciate, dead now like so many others. Harry's best friend, Ron Weasly.dead. Ron's brothers Bill and Percy, dead. Mrs Weasly dead. So many dead now.friends, enemies, people he didn't know, people he cared about. Albus...Albus, his mentor.Albus who had been more of a father to him than his true father had ever been.
Tears filled Severus' eyes and he forced them away, it was only through the sacrifice of Albus and Harry Potter that they'd been able to kill Voldemort. And even those that had not died were indelibly and permanently changed. Minerva, now without the love of her life, Remus so badly hurt that they had almost lost him. Even Sirius hadn't come out of it unscathed. Though at least Sirius and Remus had found something postive in all the negitive.
And now this.a letter from Kelly Sephirus. A letter that set his life on edge. Severus had thought that he'd never hear from her again after she had gone into hiding all those months ago. This letter was more of a shock than he's ever had, especially since the letter had been written almost a year ago and had only been found after Voldemort's destruction and Albus' death two weeks ago. It had been delivered to him yesterday. *****************************************************
Dear Severus.
I know you never expected to hear from me again, and after this, you won't. I've given this letter to Albus to give to you when he feels it's safe for you to know the truth. You know, you really were a bastard to me.but I think I understand why now. But those facts change nothing. I loved you. I loved so much it hurt. When you treated me the way you did, it hurt me worse than you can ever know. But it did something else too. It freed me. And it made me aware that I had to fight Voldemort with more than words. I had to stand up for my world, so I would have a world to stand up for. You taught me that. And for that I thank you.
I know that you're aware of my relationship with Sirius. And worse, I know that hurt it hurt you. At the time I convinced myself that you deserved that pain. Now, I'm not so sure anyone did. And worse, now I know that that relationship hurt others who didn't deserve to be hurt.
Now we get to the reason for this letter. The truth behind all these words. Severus, I'm pregnant. The Doctors say it's a set of twins. I don't know if you're the father or if Sirius is and frankly I don't care. These are my babies and I'm going to give them all the things that you never had. All the things that our poor lost souls never had. I'm going to give them love and acceptance and maybe, if we're all very lucky, I'm going to give them magic.
I wanted to stand at your side, at Sirus' side and fight the evil that is affecting your world.our world. I wanted to stand with you and fight the evil. But I've decided to fight the evil in a different way. I'm going to fight it be giving to the Wizardling world what Voldemort is trying to take away.the future.
Don't try to find me. I'm going to the Muggle world until I give birth, or until Voldemort is destroyed, I feel that this is the best way to keep these babies safe. Albus has promised to send for me as soon as it is safe. And to make it more safe, Albus is the only one who will know where I am.
Stay safe, Sev. And remember, please.you are as much a child of the light as Harry Potter or Albus Dumbledore himself. You're just a child of the light wearing sunglasses.
Stay safe Kelly Sephirus
******************************************************** Severus took a long drink of his liquor and set the letter carefully on the desk. Then he set the glass down and picked up the letter, re-read it and then carefully put it back in the envelope. Children. It was possible he had two children out there. He did the math carefully in his head and realized that they might already be born.could have been born while Albus was dying. While he was mourning for those lost, those children might have found life. And he had no way to find them. The secret of Kelly's location had died with Albus. His thoughts strayed to Sirius Black, his old enemy, his recent conspiritor. He knew that Minerva had given Sirus a letter tonight as well, so he assumed that it contained the same basic facts his own did.
Severus had little time to dwell on that thought when his office door slammed open, hitting the wall hard and the object of his thoughts, looking as bad as he knew he himself did, strode in. Severus looked up at Sirus' haggard face and sighed, reaching into his desk and taking out another glass, he set it on the desk and poured it half full of the same amber liquid he was drinking, after he took a pull from the bottle to show the normally suspicious Black it wasn't poisoned. As Black sat down and swallowed half his drink in one gulp, Severus thought amused,
INot that it would prove it wasn't poisoned.I can name as least a hundred poisons that would kill Black and wouldn't even make me sick./I
Black waved an envelope identical to Severus' own in the air and said, meeting Severus' black eyes with his own blearly black ones,
"You got one too, didn't you?"
Severus raised his own letter momentarilly and nodded,
"Yes. You do realise in your highly intoxicated state that we have absolutely no hope of finding her don't you? Albus took her secret to his grave. "
Sirius glared at him,
"I am INOT/I drunk, Snape. And yes, I do know we can't find her. What the hell am I going to do? I've got kids out there and I can't find them!"
Severus sat back in his chair and observed Black from under his eye lashes, it was just like the vain Gryffindor to determine that the children were his and not Snape's. Normally, Severus would have been infuriated, but at this point, he was just too damn tired and hurt to feel anything that strongly. So he merely stated, softly,
"Assuming they are yours Black.."
That shut him up, and the fact that Black didn't respond with violence or rudeness was testiment to the fact that he too was tired and hurting. Sighing again, Severus reached out and filled both their glasses, then lifted his and said,
"Here, Black.here's to love lost and lost loves."
With out a word, Black raised his glass and they drank together. They were both silent for a long time, each lost in their own thoughts. ==============================================
Eleven years later-the August 31
Severus Snape was not happy. Here it was, the day before the first day of classes and he was definitely not ready. It was not, however, for want of trying. Every time he settled down to work, someone or something walked in and disturbed him. Remus Lupin had been in twice asking to borrow books for his Defence Against Dark Arts classes. Sirius Black had been in at least a dozen times, each time was a different reason that he came up with on the spur of the moment because he couldn't speak of what he wanted to. Sighing, Severus sat back and stretched. The reason that Black was so upset wasn't his Transfiguration classes, he'd been teaching those for ten years. It was because this would be the year that Kelly's children would be here at the Hogwarts; if they had survived and if they were magical. This would be the year that either he, or Sirius Black met their children. Shaking his head, he thought to himself,
IIt's a damn good thing I've been teaching these Potions classes long enough that I could teach them in my sleep, because it's obvious that I'm not going to have the opportunity to get anything resembling class notes together before tomorrow. /I
Shaking his head again with a soft smile that no student would ever see, Severus started working on his notes again, dipping his quill into the ink bottle. Before he could even write an entire word, however, there was a knock on his door. Muttering a curse, Severus glared at the door and snapped,
"Black.if that's you again, I'm going to put you in a jar and use you to scare my first year Gryffindors.."
The door opened, but it was Headmistress Minerva McGonagal that stepped in, her eyes twinkling as she said,
"My goodness, Severus.such threats! And what would the Slytherin first years say about having their Transfiguration professor in a jar in their Potions master's classroom?"
Giving her a rare, real smile, Severus said,
"The Slytherins would say that we had finally found a good place to stash Gryffindor troublemakers. I'm sorry Minerva..Black's been dropping in here for no apparent reason all damn week."
Minerva chuckled,
"Now Severus.you know very well why Sirius has been coming down here. He's on pins and needles about a certain set of First Years. And I must say, I expected you to a bit more excited as well..after all, these could very well be your children."
Looking up at her sharply, Severus said,
"Did they get letters then?"
Minerva walked over and sat in a chair in front of his desk, smiling at him she said,
"Yes, Severus.both of Kelly's children have gotten their letters. "
Hesitantly, Severus said,
"Did you..errr.did you happen to notice their names or anything, Minerva?"
Minerva steepled her fingers and rested her elbows on the table in front of Severus, watching him over her hands. Finally smiling, Minerva stood up and started toward the door, saying over her shoulder,
"Yes, I did, Severus.their two girls. Both go by their mother's last name."
Closing his eyes, Severus sighed. He'd hoped Kelly would have given some indication of whose children they were. Minerva's soft voice jarred him out of his revere, however,
"The girls are named Severa and Siria, Severus. So I guess we'll have to wait to see if they look like either of you."
Minerva walked out of the room and shut the door softly leaving Severus to sit at his desk and try to come to grips with what he'd just heard. The first day of the term was horrid, it always was. But this first day of worse than normal. Sirius was a nervous wreck, Remus wasn't far behind, even Minerva wasn't the calm, cool collected Headmistress she normally was. And Severus Snape was really no different, he just hid it better. He'd had more practice. Even the normally jolly Hagrid was feeling the tenseness that filled the school.
Severus sat the his customary place at the head table, his face cool and unreadable. To his left sat Headmistress Minerva McGonagal, to his right sat Sirius Black and on Sirius' other side sat his mate Remus Lupin. Sirius shifted back and forth like he was sitting on tacks, and Remus wasn't much better. Sighing, Severus stood up and leaned over Minerva,
"It's time, Minerva.I'm going to go and escort the First Years in."
Nodding, Minerva smiled up at him and said,
"Very good Severus.have I told you recently that I am very glad that I chose you as the Assistant Headmaster?"
Shaking his head, Severus said calmly,
"Of course you have, Minerva.each time you want me to refrain from injuring the little Hellions I have to teach.."
Minerva chuckled as she patted his hand before he could stand up and draw back into himself as he did so well.
Severus gathered his black cloak around himself and headed out of the Great Hall, only hesitating when he felt someone join him. Frowning, Severus looked over at Remus Lupin and Sirius Black who had joined him. Frowning, Severus said,
"Excuse me? Just where do you think you two are going?"
His face looking like a thundercloud, Sirius Black began a sarcastic comment that was forstaled by his mate, Remus Lupin's calm reply,
"I know it's out of the ordinary, Severus, but I thought since this is a bit out of the ordinary, Sirius and I might accompany you this time.."
Glaring at them both, Severus snarled,
"Like hell, Black..as Assistant Headmaster is my odius duty to escort the first years and I don't need your assistance..."
A discreet throat clearing interrupted them before Black could reply, his face as thunderous as Severus' own,
"Please, Sirus, Severus..you're setting a bad example for the students."
Remus Lupin closed his eyes as Black and Snape both turned to glare at Hermione Granger, the Junior Charms instructor. Hermione glared back and only the Headmistress's sudden presence prevented a bloodbath in the middle of the Great Hall. Minerva smiled at all of them, and said,
"Hermione, if you would take your seat please.Remus, you as well. Severus.please see the first years in.and Sirius, I'd appreciate it if you'd escort me to my seat..these old legs aren't what they used to be..."
Severus smiled triumphantly at Sirus, who began to argue,
"But Minerva.."
Sighing, Minerva said,
"Sirus, please.in case you've forgotten, you've got THREE sets of Weasly twins in Gryffindor already and two more sets highly possibly this year. As the head of Gryffindor, I'd very much appreciate it if you'd remain here in the Great Hall."
Knowing he was beaten, Sirus offered Minerva his arm and said, smiling,
"Yes, the Weasly's are prolific, aren't they, Minerva?", all the while glaring at Severus who smiled back as he turned and billowed out.
Severus stood at the top of the stairs and watched the first years flow into the castle. His black eyes moved from one to the other, searching for anything familiar. But all he saw was uniforms and dark, rainsoaked hair.