Peals of laughter wafted in and out of the half open window. The children's delighted squeals had used to warm the numb edges of Paraietta's frostbitten heart. But recently they had been having no effect. Years had marched on by, unrelenting and determined in their solemn procession. At first the years had brought growth and progress-but relapse had come like an unexpected guest.
Paraietta tapped a finger absentmindedly against the table as she sat gazing out the window. Her tired eyes looked past the little orphans' play area, past the trees, past the mountains, searching for the borders of time and space. Try as she might, she couldn't seem to find the edges she sought after. She would have given anything to see back across the ridges and valleys of decades and centuries.
She had made so much progress up until now. Even Rodoreamon had commented on all of the improvement. Why was Tempus Spatium choosing to knock her back down when she had come so far? What did these moonlit visits mean? There was no way they were real-everything about them bore the qualities of fantasy. But they felt real, and what they represented was incontrovertibly real. Secretly, deep in her heart, she fervently wished that what was going on was real. As deleterious as the visions were for her personal growth they were now beginning to become her reality-forcing daytime to serve as the dream.
She sighed as she pushed her chair back to stand up. The sun was setting and it was almost time for supper. Feeding roughly forty toddlers was tougher than it sounded-and it didn't even sound easy to begin with. Her days were occupied in such ways that left little time for such introspection.
The recent events had tore open a wound she strained so hard over the years to heal. They had plunged her back into the pool of regret she had nearly drowned in after her visiting the Spring and Neviril's departure. Despite having new life purposes (about forty or so to be exact) Paraietta had begun to feel the deep-seated regret leaking back into her heart. She should have followed Neviril into the other world-as her pair.
To be passed over twice by her beloved-and for brash, classless brutes at that. What did Amuria and Aeru know about Neviril? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Where had they been in the beginning? Not by Neviril's side, that's for sure. But she had been there…she should have been Neviril's pair. She could have showed Neviril the world that Neviril had wanted so badly to see. And now she couldn't anymore because Neviril was gone. Or something like that.
Perhaps Rodoreamon had noticed the last time she had swung by to talk orphanage finances. The two former sybillae had bonded after the war-held together by the impossible combination of former tragedy and glory. Rodoreamon had personally witnessed the sadness slowly drain out of Paraietta with the passage of time. Naturally it was as disturbing as seeing a ghost when she had caught the novel but somehow dreadfully familiar manic glint of woe reignited in her comrade's eyes.
Rodoreamon had asked what was wrong but Paraietta wouldn't budge. Though she didn't know exactly what had transpired since the last time she had visited the orphanage she could feel the shape of it.
Before leaving to return to her estate she had said, "Listen, I'm probably in the dark about this one here but there's no use trying to convince me that you're not slipping back into a place we both know you shouldn't return to. It may be presumptuous of me to say this but Neviril is never coming back."
Paraietta had been spending a lot of time watching the moon lately. She hung ruefully to the notion that somewhere, sometime, or somehow Neviril watched the same moon, as well. And maybe she would be thinking of Paraietta, too.
She had decided that the moon was lonely. Lonely like she was. Lost in time. Maybe the moon had also lost something precious to it in time.
Time and space can't keep us apart.
After all…didn't you say we'd meet again someday? You know, when you left me standing on the deck of the Arcus Prima?
Well I feel as if someday is now here, so hurry on back to me…please…
She already knew what it would be like-what it had been like.
Neviril stood by the open window staring out into the soft night. The rays of the moon fell like scattered pearls over her face. Her hands were clasped in front of her heart as the light night wind pushed gently through her hair.
Paraietta stood in the doorway, heart beating in her throat as she saw the woman by the window. Years had passed though her feelings had not changed one bit. The sweet gravity of the situation sunk in as she stepped towards Neviril.
"I've watched worlds rise and fall and eons race by before me. I've swam through the seas of eternity and rested for millennia at the bottom of the forever. Planets have been born and have died in my arms. I've stood on the plains of infinite as the winds of timelessness blew past me. And all the while you remained in my mind-patient yet impatient."
The stars twinkled knowingly, suspended in their ocean of sky, as Paraietta closed the gap of space and time between her and Neviril. She wrapped her arms around Neviril's waist and buried her face into her hair. Trying not to shake she breathed in the coldness of age-old galaxies and unknowable realms. As unfamiliar as it was, everything else she recognized in her Neviril. Pushing aside her hair, Paraietta brushed her lips against the back of Neviril's neck.
"I've waited here for you every second of every minute of every day since you left me. Actually I've waited every second of every minute of every day of my life for you to realize that…that I'm your pair."
She broke off unable to continue. Her shoulders hitched as she fought back a sharp sob. With the sob finally subdued and shoved down deep within her chest she cautiously continued.
"What did you see while you were out there? Did you see me? Did you see…"
Paraietta trailed off again, unable to bring herself to mention Amuria. And there was no chance in hell that she would even bring up that Aeru farce.
"There were times when I saw nothing at all-absolutely nothing but for everything that I needed to see." Neviril said calmly without breaking her gaze up at the moon.
Paraietta took Neviril in quietly as time stretched out indefinitely between them.
"I need you, Neviril. I need you now like I needed you before. You can't even begin to imagine what it's like without you. Stay with me please-if you don't I don't know if…I don't know if…" The mutinous sob threatened to gush up through her once again and silence once again rushed into the dark room.
Neviril smiled a small sad smile and put her hands on top Paraietta's.
"Oh Paraietta, you know what happens next…what happens now…"
She gripped Neviril tighter against her and pushed her face against the small of her back. She knew she was now trembling and that the floodgates would soon be overwhelmed.
"How long can you stay this time? Longer than last time at least? Please just stay the for a while just don't leave right now I can't be alone tonight. Neviril…"
Paraietta began to cry silently as Neviril leaned back deeper into her embrace. She brought her head up to rest her chin on the former Chor Tempest regina's shoulder.
"Just for the night." She again implored softly against Neviril's jawline.
Neviril moaned quietly and tilted her head back to grant Paraietta more access to her neck.
"You know I can't stay longer even if I wanted to," she said as she lightly traced two fingers over Paraietta's forearms. "No one can control these things, not even me. In Tempus Spatium's hands are these things decided. You know this, Paraietta."
The two stood in silence for a few drawn out seconds. The stars glowed brighter as the moon began quivering like a reflection in the water. Beams of silvery light began to seep into the room through unknowable cracks. Water cascaded down the walls and began collecting around their ankles. The water continued to rise as the moon rapidly expanded endlessly shifting its ivory shape.
"Please don't go…you can't just show up like this and leave so suddenly. It's killing me though without you here I've been dying a slow death anyways. Just come back to me where you belong where I can protect you and be everything you need-"
Neviril's voice cut through the dark firmly but dolefully.
"I'm sorry, Paraietta, my Paraietta. I have to go…"
The water had reached their chests as Paraietta began to feel Neviril fade in her arms. By the time Paraietta found herself completely submerged she also found her arms yet again empty. She closed her eyes and dropped her head to her chest-letting the weight push her down further and further.
Paraietta awoke with a start as her eyes fluttered open. The light blue haze of early morning had already filled the room. Her heart was so crushed with sorrow that she was surprised she could even breathe normally. She sat up and bunched her blankets into tight fists as she clenched her teeth. Tears shed during sleep had dried on her cheeks-leaving stinging trails in their halted wake.
Paraietta considered herself to have been heartbroken for a very long time-but now it was if her heart had effectively shattered.
"If a mere nightmare can break you down then you really are worthless, Para-sama. These visions are really nothing more than a product of your desperate broken mind." She thought bitterly to herself as she prepared to lie back down.
This was swiftly halted, however, when she noticed her window, which she made sure to shut each night, was ajar.