"Hello, I'm talkshow host Bipsy Bojiggles, and I'm here with an amazing story to cover that will most likely make me set for life.
War. Desperation. Suffering. Confusion. Like Mashed Potatoes of Hatred.
An amazing event occurred recently that, quite frankly, nearly wiped out the human race. What force on earth could possibly cause so much pain, misery, and threaten all of life itself?
You guessed it. A cute, harmless-looking fox.
Our first business will be to interview the people who first suspected the darkness of the fox.
Joining us is the world renowned Sonic the Hedgehog."
"Hiya!" cheerily said Sonic.
"Can you tell us when you first noticed Tails might have a minor problem?" Bipsy carefully said.
"Well, last Saturday I had came back from going to the grocery store TO THE EXTREME and found Tails laying on the couch with a knife in his hand.
He was mumbling things in his sleep like 'if only Eggman would have aimed a little higher...' and 'with all 7 chaos emeralds, my preparations to kill Sonic will be complete.'
I just didn't know what to make of it."
Bipsy now had a fake smile she was trying to hold.
"Yes, who could have possibly known what could happen next..." Shadow sarcastically said as he walked out onto the stage.
"And here we have Shadow the Hedgehog," announced Bipsy. "Shadow, sir, can you tell us when you first suspected the Tails Treachery?"
"It was when I asked him to pick me up some milk," started Shadow. "He brought some milk back to my house and put it in my fridge. I poured a glass and drunk it then broke out in hives. I'M ALLERGIC TO MILK. HE WAS TRYING TO KILL ME."
"Then why would you ask him to get you milk?" questioned Sonic.
"It was a test. It was also Soymilk."
"Did you ever tell him you were allergic to milk?" questioned an even more confused Sonic.
"He didn't pass the test, Sonic."
"Why would you drink something you're allergic to anyway?" chimed in Rouge.
"HE DIDN'T PASS THE TEST. HE'S INSANE," yelled Shadow.
"Now we're here with the lovely Rouge," said Bipsy. "Hello, Ms. Rouge."
"Hello my little jewel," Rouge said while gliding to her seat.
"Ms. Rouge, when did you notice that Tails might be a little off?"
"Well, everytime I flirted with him, he never got uncomfortable or played along with it. Almost like a child would react."
"He's 8," said Sonic.
"And I'm Double D's," exclaimed Rouge.
"That's all for today," said Bipsy. "We'll have testimonials from the hospitalized next."