Is it Toxic?
Disclaimer: I own nothing! Darn these little disclaimers! They make me feel
so unoriginal....
****
Sirius sat on the couch in the blue light of the television. He was in the Potters' muggle flat, alone. Neither James nor Lily had been there for the past 5 hours. They were on a date. Sirius would be on one too, if he hadn't been dumped this morning. It didn't matter much, because he couldn't remember her name.
"Sheryl-Shirley-Shannon?" He thought. No, it wasn't any of those. If Remus had been there, he would say it was a very boring day for Sirius. Black was usually pulling pranks, bewitching the answering machine, or prank calling Peter Pettigrew. But he didn't do any of those today. He just sat there, watching I Dream of Jeanie and eating cornflakes. That wouldn't have been so odd, except it was 1:34 AM.
"It gets your whites whiter-your brights brighter!" Said the announcer on television. Sirius snapped back to reality. "Ooh!" He said stupidly at the TV set. Sirius turned to his left and grinned at the muggle device called a "telephone." He turned back at the telly, grinning from ear to ear. "Call now, and receive a second bottle--FREE!" As a wizard, Sirius didn't need to call. He whipped out his wand and exclaimed "velle!"
Next thing he knew, Sirius had a bottle of Oxy Clean in his hands. He was now open to so many cleaning possibilities! What should he do first?
Sirius suddenly looked as if a wave of brilliance had shuddered across his sleep-deprived face. "The baby!" he exclaimed, thinking of little Harry asleep in his crib. He grabbed the bottle and ran to the nursery. Peter was asleep on the floor with a baby book in his hands (The Little Chimarea that Could ), while Remus was in the rocking chair also asleep. Quietly, the dark-haired man crept over to the crib, James's voice ringing in his ears ("Make sure he has a bath. Babies should always be clean." ). He tore of a piece of his shirt and poured a bit of Oxy Clean on it.
Sirius wiped off Harry's face, and then went for his hands and feet. At the moment the room was very dark. While Sirius was tiptoeing out, he tripped over a stuffed kneazel and woke Lupin up.
"Wha-what were you doing, Padfoot?" he asked sleepily and suspiciously. "Oxy Clean!" he yelped with excitement. "WHAT?!!??" Remus was now wide awake (Peter could sleep through a dragon eating him alive). "Well, I thought Baby Harry should be clean, so I--" Remus looked down at the sleeping Harry, who now smelled orange-y fresh. "What's the harm? He's clean, isn't he?" Sirius asked "Well, I suppose. But you have to get help," Remus said, turning on his friend. "Me? No, I didn't clean me, I cleaned Harry--" "Not about that. Your addiction. You can't go a commercial without pulling something out of it. It's wrong. You're cheating all those muggles!" "Now, that's not true. I need everything I order!" "Yeah. Including that sewing machine?" "Well..." "And the children's Tylenol?" "Harry was sick! And you know those 'five and older' labels mean nothing!" "And, the most questionable, menstrual Midol and 'female growth enhancement' medication? "That's personal!" Sirius defended, a sly grin spreading across his face. "Lily dared me..." "Lily wouldn't." Remus sniffed "What's that smell?" Slowly, the two grown men turned around. The Oxy Clean cap sat on the floor and so did Peter, drinking the cleaner solution. "That orange juice really hits the spot. Thanks for the drink." Peter lied down, a funny sort of drowsiness coming over him. "Well," Sirius began, trying to get the werewolf of his back," at least we know it's not toxic." ***** So, what do you think? This is my very first attempt, and I thought I should do a short misadventure. Besides, Sirius and television fic.s are fun!
Sirius sat on the couch in the blue light of the television. He was in the Potters' muggle flat, alone. Neither James nor Lily had been there for the past 5 hours. They were on a date. Sirius would be on one too, if he hadn't been dumped this morning. It didn't matter much, because he couldn't remember her name.
"Sheryl-Shirley-Shannon?" He thought. No, it wasn't any of those. If Remus had been there, he would say it was a very boring day for Sirius. Black was usually pulling pranks, bewitching the answering machine, or prank calling Peter Pettigrew. But he didn't do any of those today. He just sat there, watching I Dream of Jeanie and eating cornflakes. That wouldn't have been so odd, except it was 1:34 AM.
"It gets your whites whiter-your brights brighter!" Said the announcer on television. Sirius snapped back to reality. "Ooh!" He said stupidly at the TV set. Sirius turned to his left and grinned at the muggle device called a "telephone." He turned back at the telly, grinning from ear to ear. "Call now, and receive a second bottle--FREE!" As a wizard, Sirius didn't need to call. He whipped out his wand and exclaimed "velle!"
Next thing he knew, Sirius had a bottle of Oxy Clean in his hands. He was now open to so many cleaning possibilities! What should he do first?
Sirius suddenly looked as if a wave of brilliance had shuddered across his sleep-deprived face. "The baby!" he exclaimed, thinking of little Harry asleep in his crib. He grabbed the bottle and ran to the nursery. Peter was asleep on the floor with a baby book in his hands (The Little Chimarea that Could ), while Remus was in the rocking chair also asleep. Quietly, the dark-haired man crept over to the crib, James's voice ringing in his ears ("Make sure he has a bath. Babies should always be clean." ). He tore of a piece of his shirt and poured a bit of Oxy Clean on it.
Sirius wiped off Harry's face, and then went for his hands and feet. At the moment the room was very dark. While Sirius was tiptoeing out, he tripped over a stuffed kneazel and woke Lupin up.
"Wha-what were you doing, Padfoot?" he asked sleepily and suspiciously. "Oxy Clean!" he yelped with excitement. "WHAT?!!??" Remus was now wide awake (Peter could sleep through a dragon eating him alive). "Well, I thought Baby Harry should be clean, so I--" Remus looked down at the sleeping Harry, who now smelled orange-y fresh. "What's the harm? He's clean, isn't he?" Sirius asked "Well, I suppose. But you have to get help," Remus said, turning on his friend. "Me? No, I didn't clean me, I cleaned Harry--" "Not about that. Your addiction. You can't go a commercial without pulling something out of it. It's wrong. You're cheating all those muggles!" "Now, that's not true. I need everything I order!" "Yeah. Including that sewing machine?" "Well..." "And the children's Tylenol?" "Harry was sick! And you know those 'five and older' labels mean nothing!" "And, the most questionable, menstrual Midol and 'female growth enhancement' medication? "That's personal!" Sirius defended, a sly grin spreading across his face. "Lily dared me..." "Lily wouldn't." Remus sniffed "What's that smell?" Slowly, the two grown men turned around. The Oxy Clean cap sat on the floor and so did Peter, drinking the cleaner solution. "That orange juice really hits the spot. Thanks for the drink." Peter lied down, a funny sort of drowsiness coming over him. "Well," Sirius began, trying to get the werewolf of his back," at least we know it's not toxic." ***** So, what do you think? This is my very first attempt, and I thought I should do a short misadventure. Besides, Sirius and television fic.s are fun!