A/N so yeah huge formatting error! All fixed now!
It's been seven whole days since he died, and three days since she crawled under the covers. Damn so much and so little has happened in those three days… It still hurts to breathe and she still doesn't want to get out of bed. She knows eventually she will but after the fight with Peter, and then the feeling that she let Finn down she can't do it. Coming out from under the covers is a terrifying thought, outside she'll have to talk to the kids, she'll have to explain why she crawled under the covers in the first place. She doesn't want to tell Grace and Zach why she told their father to get out of her house. She doesn't want to deal with any of it. Mostly though she doesn't want to get out of bed because she knows that the minute she does, life starts all over and she'll have to figure out how to get to the next step in her life without Will.
It's not like she can't go on without him in her world… It's just that she doesn't want to. It's not like her and Will were in the best part of their relationship but he was there! He was where she could at least talk to him. Alicia doesn't want to get out of the bed and deal with the finality that comes with pulling the covers off.
"it's been seven whole days and four words"
"I'll call you back"
The last four words she'll ever hear him say, with that thought she pulls the covers back over her head. She's not ready yet. That's why when a few hours later as the covers are being pulled off of her she groans and she's not just a little angry when she sees who the culprit that dare disturb her sorrow.
"Kalinda, WHAT THE FUCK?"
"Get up!" Kalinda commands. "Will wouldn't want anything to do with you the way you're acting." "So you're going to get up, we're going to go to a bar and we're going to get wasted on Tequila shots. We're going to laugh, and yes we're going to cry. But then that's it. Then it's time to wake up in the morning and keep going, Alicia, because we may want it differently but we're alive and we have to keep living."
Alicia's still sitting on her bed looking very indignant as Kalinda flutters around her room, she's in the closet grabbing a shirt and jeans and she throws a hairbrush on the bed. In a less than a half an hour Kalinda has managed to force Alicia out of the house and down to the bar. It takes a two or three shots but Alicia's starting to loosen up and get over her initial reaction to Kalinda. She's remembering how fun it used to be with Kalinda, how much she's missed her.
"Kalinda, how did you know where I was?"
"Diane asked me if I'd talked to you, then I got a call from Grace, she said you hadn't moved in days."
"Why did you come? Don't you hate me?" Alicia sits worried, she doesn't really want to know the answer.
" I told Will I'd have his back, always had and always will, so if I do nothing else I can at least get you back on your feet." Kalinda pauses,
"and I kinda missed you, I don't hate you, Alicia but I was mad at you, you hurt Will, other than you he was my only real friend. But he's gone now and we need each other."
Alicia thinks about what Kalinda's said
" I missed you too K, I'm sorry, I know its too late for Will but I can tell you, I'm so sorry I hurt you, but I..." Alica studders and takes a breath, "I realized I loved him, I was supposed to be renewing my vows but I loved him"
It's the first time that she's ever admitted it out loud and it breaks her heart all over again.
" I'm sorry I had to go, Kalinda, I thought it was the right thing to do, and I still think it was but I did it for all the wrong reasons and I went about it all wrong, can we start this all over? Friends?" Alicia offers Kalinda her hand, and Kalinda reaches out and takes it.
" Ok enough lets get this party started"
They share stories, laugh, and cry well into the night, right up until "The Last Call." Kalinda pours a very drunk Alicia into a cab and climbs in next to her, and just like she promised, Kalinda is there in the morning to help Alicia out of bed. Alicia takes a shower and washes away the pain, she gets dressed in a suit for the first time in a few days and with that she finally feels like she can take on a world without Will in it. All she has to do it remember. He's not gone until she forgets him, he'll always be right there in the back of her mind and imprinted on her heart. No matter what the man in the courtroom said, he's not just gone. All she has to do to make it through is remember that she has two amazing kids and people like Kalinda, Cary and even Diane on her side and while it will be tough she can make it.