Well, this is a funny little thing I thought of, the day before my half birthday. 16 and a half, for the win! Anyway, the song Skinny Genes by Eliza Doolittle inspired me a lot, and over a period of two months, three weeks and four days, Draco Malfoy decides to tell Hermione Granger 85 reasons he would like to wind up in bed with her. Songs used in here are Skinny Genes by Eliza Doolittle, I Won't Be Crying by Infernal and Perfect enemy by t.A.T.u. Enjoy! –Meg xxx

Saturday, the 5th of January. A delicious new year in sixth year. Full of brand new possibilities! With, of course, Harry and Ron, who were currently reading a Potions book and shovelling as many sausages into their mouth as possible, respectively. I crossed my leg on the bench and scanned the breakfast people. Some people at Hogwarts were regular breakfasters, like Harry who couldn't function without at least a couple of slices of toast and Marmite inside him. Neville would nervously sip his orange juice, and nearly spill it over when Luna glided over with beans on toast.

I always needed a coffee, or at the very least tea but couldn't stomach food until half ten: break. Ginny suffered the same fate and we'd often share the sugar bowl for our lattes. Of course there was Malfoy, Ferret Boy and Blaise who invented smugness (But we never knew why he was so smug) who would slink in, but we obviously never paid much attention to them. I was just glad that Lav Lav preferred to sleep in when possible. Why was I even up this Saturday? We didn't go back to proper lessons until Monday. Routine, damnit. And it is precisely 7am.

Intercourse my existence.

Fuck my actual life.

I glanced at my watch (which I didn't have), and Spellotaped a lopsided grin onto my shining face (Moisturiser thank you so very much, I am très hygienic) and spoke. "Well boys, I'm off, I've got some urgent research to—you're not even sodding listening are you? See you."

And so, I slipped off the bench, passed Luna who without fail always got up early no matter the occasion, and stood in the empty corridor. So this is Hogwarts, and welcome aboard. A sinking ship, and somebody has nicked the oars. I'm thinking about a long shower to drown myself in and then falling asleep somewhere with a bit of luck. So, with mission to complete, yours truly starts making her way to the Gryffindor common room when quite unfortunately and certainly unexpectedly she is intercepted by the one and only Mister Draco Malfoy.

One is not happy with this and tries to skirt around him but one is caught by Draco Malfoy. Malfoy opens his ungodly lopsided mouth. "Granger, can I ask you something?"
"One is going to refuse this request." I reply by accident in the poshest voice possible.
"Pardon?"
"One is simply speaking the Queen's English." I shoot back at the bewildered pale face in front of me, which strangely is calm, though there's a hint of something in his eyes. Craving. Something he wants that he can't have. God, I really don't like his point of view, but of course he'll never change.

I want to walk away but his arrogance is making me too irked to even move, so he tugs me behind some curtains. "Granger, I have a proposal for you."
"Well if you think you're getting me to kill off Harry for you then you can forget it." I tell him wittily, though he might actually want me to do that. If he does, I'll just back the hell out of there like oh my god, oh my god, my god.

"And that is…not what I was going to ask. No, I was going to ask that we would partake in a certain activity. To satisfy my needs. Our needs. Ahem, I'm sure you're aware of how we were brought into this world." Shiftily, his eyes dart back and forth.
"Of course you nubbin, sex."
"Nubbin?"
"Sorry."
"Mais oui, sexual intercourse. What I'm saying is that I'd quite like for you to wind up next to me. Satisfy my needs, get in my bed." Draco Malfoy is saying this in all seriousness, and I think maybe I should faint, but I don't, no. "Can I have some please, of that?" he points to my general top half. My eyes narrow.

"Malfoy, if this is hypothetically not a joke, then tell me one good reason I should even consider writhing around on your slimy sheets with you, which would end in anti climaxed disappointment."

"Because I have a headache." The sixteen year old blond fool answers readily.

For a few uncollected moments I look down at my female body, then my eyes make their way to his *cough*male anatomy* cough*, and climb upwards to his earnest face. "Malfoy, it is almost a week after New Year's day, I'm pretty sure your 'headache' should have worn off by now. I suggest Madam Pomfrey or Pansy. Or both. I'm leaving now." So many other things could have been said, but at least I was mildly civil and adult about it. It's not my fault if Malfoy has necked so many shots that he needs his entire body drained. I hardly give a shit.

"I have plenty other reasons Granger, care to listen?" he calls out daringly as I step onto a moving staircase, one out of many.
"You know a snowball's chance in hell? Half that, then half it again." I call back, and then hold up three fingers. "Read between the lines!"
Obviously he won't have seen School of Rock, but I still feel proud.

I stomp up to the girls' dormitory, pull out my Wild Cherry shower gel, scrub and body butter along with wonderfully Muggle Herbal Essences. Time for a hard earned shower. I sing as I lather my legs, "I really don't like your arrogance, or your policies. Ninety nine percent an embarrassment, of just wrong qualities!" and then, "You always check yourself in every mirror you can see…I won't be crying when I'm lonely! Cause I'm alone and I'm proud! They only think you're cool…and a handsome devil too!" and last but never least, "You don't turn me off, I will never fail, things I loved before are not for sale! Keep yourself away, far away from me, I forever stay your perfect enemy!"

Once my hair is in a state I won't be ashamed to show to the general public, and I have casual clothes on, I curl up on one of the larger and comfier sofas in the common room and feed Crookshanks little slivers of ham. Outside, it's like a blizzard, which makes me extremely grateful for the snapping flames in the fireplace. Reduced to boredom, I make mundane objects float in the air. A book, a packet of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans. "It's Levi-OH-sah, not Levi-oh-SAR!" Ron sniggers as he and Harry wander in. A simple roll of my pupils makes him put his hands up. "Bloody hell; guess I'll be doing my own homework today. Two thousand words, bar quotes and footnotes, comparing the Draught of Living Death and Felix Felicis." He swears.

I'm tempted to set my cat on them, but decide not to. Instead, I sit upstairs in the dormitory and talk to Ginny about silly little things; boys, music, sex, and the pretty underwear she wants to order from one of the Diagon Alley's catalogues.

"It's the laminated book of dreams." I comment sarcastically as we flip through the pages. Ginny glances at me after ringing a potential: Lucy Lace in Enrapturing Emerald. "You know why the pages are laminated don't you? To catch the tears of joy! So many beautiful things…I can never possess them all!" I act it out dramatically. Ginny simply multiplies the number of copies she has so I can flip through my own.

"I have a feeling today is going to be very boring." She sighs as I stare at a purple set, and cry out, "Viktor Plum? Dear god, what is the wizarding world coming to?"

In the end I take one of Fred and George's Sleeping Potions.
At 11am. And so, I fall asleep. I sip enough so I wake at 10.30am the next day which is a more decent time for breakfast. I'm planning on a stupid amount of jam slathered on buttered toast to shove down my throat when someone grabs my waist from behind. I'm wearing a skirt which they put their hands under, and tights, and they manage to pick me up, shove an unusual potion in my mouth which shuts me up and makes me see through, until I'm in the Room.

Then Malfoy drops me on the floor. This 'potion' wears off, so I scramble, very undignified, off the floor to punch him in the face but he casually steps t one side at the last minute. Furious, I shout, "What're you playing at Malfoy?"

"I wanted to try and change your mind about yesterday." This time, he looks me right in the eyes and I hate it, those cold earnest eyes trying to read my mind. The mind is not a book you can just browse at leisure. So I sigh. "What's the reason this time?"
"I heard it's fun." A playful smile is on his mouth. Do I walk away? I don't mind it when he smiles, but now he wants to show his sexual expertise and I want to put an end to that as soon as humanly possible. So I look at him in a new way. A sultry way. It makes a change from the 'If your life had a face I would punch it' face. It feels very strange but now I shakily place my hands on his waist and pull him to me.

"Fun, hmm?" I murmur as he sucks in a big breath, battling something that I can feel against my thigh. Nice. Back up, back up, back up, back up, back up, I think to my stupid self but I'm just a lips' distance away from his mouth and open my own. He leans in, and that is when I knee him and he cries out as I'm sure he feels very tender now.

"What the fucking fuck, Granger?" he shouts at me, clutching at himself as he curls up on the floor.

"No, I will not have sex with you!" I shout right back and storm out of the room.

But still, on Monday he tries yet a-bloody-gain. This time it's in Potions. Slughorn gets us to partner up to make some concoction of god knows what, and he puts his hand on my leg as I write notes. I have my school skirt on and no tights, just socks. So Malfoy's bare hand is on my thigh and moving north, aka towards my knickers which are very attractive today (Unicorn Hair colour) but not for Malfoy's eyes. He's here waiting for me. "But why?" I gasped out as his fingers probed on my knickers.

A shrug. "I'm bored. You can't deny you aren't either, with Scar head over there getting ahead of you." He speaks softly.

I take his hand and shove it roughly away. "If you must put your hands in someone's pants, make them your own please." I scold in a low tone, and firmly start to stir the cauldron's contents. He's winding me up, surely. I can't rid the feeling of his fingers on my knickers though, and it's an incredibly odd sensation throughout the day, until I collapse into bed in my nightie.

Mardi, also known as Tuesday. He catches me just after tea time. "Because you're sexy." He growls in quite a perverse manner this time. That's just stepping over the line a little bit. "Malfoy, that's like saying Monster Munch actually tastes of monsters: a big fat lie."

"What if I could prove it?" he insists.
"What, my fictional sexiness?"
"Yes." He pants. Yes, he panted. I raised my eyebrows.
"Go on then, but make it quick, I want a bath, I'm shattered."

He moaned. His eyes closed for the briefest moment and then he plainly told me, "Come outside with me."
"It's January Malfoy, it's bloody freezing!" I protested but he still yanked me by the arm. I only complied because it meant I wouldn't have a precious limb pulled off. He positioned me on his broom and took me to his bedroom where Blaise was, and also Ginny.

"Is this all a big wind up or-" I started, but Blaise hurried out with Ginny and Malfoy locked the door. He gestured I come closer, which dimwittedly, I did. Then, he truly did grab me and with his mouth, shocked me into complete silence. I seized him, and pushed him onto his bed. Thinking back, it wasn't the wisest move I'd ever taken because I was leaning right over him, white shirts are a little see through and a few of my buttons were undone. Also, straddling tends to lead to other things. I was furious. Malfoy had just kissed me and he was not about to get away with it.

"You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach!" I spat at him, staring directly into his stunned visage. Basically, he retorted with "Two can play at that game!" and pushed me onto the floor with a smack, and it was him on top of me now. His hands were on me, squeezing, kneading and I could definitely feel mini-Draco pressing hard on my tummy. With the actual Malfoy moaning and thrusting slightly OH MY GOD GET OFF GET OFF ME NOW YOU SEX CRAZED BOY.

I sighed as if giving in. "Right, okay, if you get off me then I'll take my clothes off so we can do this properly."
A dazed nod.

And that is when I leapt up, jumped thoughtlessly out of the window and landed on his broom. I flew right to Gryffindor tower and once I was in my dorm, I sent the broom right back to it's owner. Rummaging in my drawer, I heard a slightly awkward cough, and stood to see an equally awkward Ginny Weasley in her nightie. "Hermione, I have a proposition for you." She announced shakily. I nodded her onwards.
"If you don't tell I won't tell."
"Sounds perfect. I think I'm…going to sleep now!" I coughed out just as Lavender danced in, and I quickly pulled off everything I wore and swapped it for a pair of big comfy pyjamas. Then, I scrambled into bed in haste.

Draco Malfoy had made a claim to me that he wanted to have sex with me. And I said no. Four times. If he asked again tomorrow then I swore to wizard god I was going to slit his throat.

Whey hey! So, let me know what you guys think, I always love and appreciate your reviews! TTFN xxx