Cry
She was beautiful.
She didn't even really know that fact herself, but everyone around her did.
She was like a beacon of light in the darkest moments or a drop of water after having a year without rain.
She was strong and kind, and her smile could make others feel better just by looking at her.
He saw how everyone would naturally gravitate towards her and he don't blame them, she has the ability to make you feel like you can fly.
She has no idea how captivating she really is, and by god is it frustrating.
Her eyes, blue like an ocean we've only ever seen from above, beautiful and full of life but absolutely clueless about how they can make you fall to your knees and your stomach drop to the floor just by looking.
She has no idea he watch her, stalk her, follow her, he is completely enthralled by her.
He wants her to take him into her heart and keep him there forever and never let him fall.
He is desperate to tell her how he feels, but he feels is not worthy of her.
She deserves a man who can love her like she's the world to him, like she is the only person that can hold his attention even for a minute. She deserves someone pure.
Pure. That He's definitely not, He's done things she can't even imagine. Done things that should have sent him to hell many months ago.
But all he want is her.
She's laughing and it's like her joy is infectious. The entire camp is entranced by her. Every single person here would lie down their lives for this girl. And she has no idea.
She's there when he breaks down and tries to run, there to comfort him when he feels like the world is caving.
Then all of a sudden she's gone.
And he loses hope, loses control and loses a part of himself.
What's left of the camp is down and defeated. Feeling miserable and there's only one thing that can make them feel better, one cure to this horrible disease.
Her.
It's like darkness has fallen and there's nothing he can do to help his fellow survivors out of this mess they all seem to be in.
He just wants to cry, to march into the woods and get her back, to tell her how he feels before he never gets the chance. To make her see him for what he is, a stubborn selfish son of a bitch who loves her and only her and won't live life without her in it, be damned if he doesn't deserve her. He wants her and what he wants he will have.
But she's gone and he has no idea where she is, if she's safe… alive.
The nights were long and lonely, the days cold and bare, they all felt the loss of her as if they had lost a limb.
It was raining when she was found, lying in a muddy ditch, soaking wet, dirty and bloody, prepared to defend herself against whatever enemy was going to harm her, The Clarke he knows.
He holds her, comforts her while she cries. Her tears hot against his top and his neck but he doesn't care, his heart is breaking for this poor little warrior in his arms. Who would be willing to fight the world for her and her friend's survival. It's a harsh world she's been subjected to and only now is she showing cracks through that iron exterior of hers. He just wants to take away the pain, to stop her feeling this way, to return her to the golden soul so full of light he's so used to seeing from her.
She doesn't stop crying for 3 days, she cries over the losses of those she couldn't save, those she's harmed while trying to save the others.
She cries for the loss of her innocence, she now has blood on her hands and it's a burden he isn't sure she's ready for.
It brings them closer, he tells her of the nights he spent alone crying to his pillow because of the terrible things he can never forget he's done, crimes he's committed to try and save his sister, he tells her of the times he's contemplated his own life as vengeance for those he's destroyed.
He tells her he understands and she believes him.
She asks him to make her feel something other than the pain and he does.
For one night he tries to ease her shattered heart, tearstains dried on her cheeks and blood under her fingernails. He tries to make her forget by giving her his heart, by showing his love for her in a way only he can, he lets her cry once it's over, and whispers in her ear how much he cares, kisses her shoulder sweetly while her silent tears turn to deep breaths on his chest.
He stays with her that night and promises to always be there with her until she no longer needs him.
She tells him, she'll never not need him, that he is the rock that keeps her steady and the guilt off her chest, that he holds her heart in his hands just as she does his in hers. That no matter how many crimes and how much bloodshed has been committed by the other, they will never feel the lost lonely feeling that comes when you lose part of your soul. The part that shatters your very being when you take another's life, the guilt you feel afterwards when you think nothing will ever be the same ever again.
He promises to always be there like she will for him.
She promises that if he cries she will to.
Because when you feel lost and alone and feel you have nowhere to go, sometimes all you can do is cry.
Cry over the loss
Cry over the pain
Cry over the guilt
Cry for the new love
Cry for new life
Cry for the heart that's broken
Cry for the heart that's been healed, but most of all just cry because after everything that has been said and done, they cry for the love they found while buried under the tears of destruction.