Note: For those who read before, it's the third scene (BMO's present day) that has been changed. Is it better? Who knows? Enjoy!
Current storage at 99.5%. Begin export?
…
[Yes]
Beep, boop, ding. Princess Bubblegum tapped out a faltering rhythm of electronic notes on BMO circuits. The feather-light taps and flicks tickled terribly, but BMO did his best to stay still and not let out any squeals of laughter.
"Ugh! Why can't I get it to sound good?" Bubblegum flopped back in her chair with a huff.
"I don't know, I thought it sounded pretty good," BMO said from where he was lying in her lap. "At first you were like, 'Wang, bang, warblegarbblebzzfwp!'" His voice trailed off into static and popping. "But now it's much better. It no longer sounds like I am dying."
He smiled sincerely up at the princess—well, as best he could with his face plate removed—but she shook her head in denial.
"No, it needs to be actually good. So much better so that when she hears it, she'll be all like, 'Woah, Peebs, that was amazing~! I was, like, totally wrong about you~.'" She mimicked that last bit in a mocking voice.
But then she looked down at the black rock shirt she was wearing and sighed wistfully, as she had for about the tenth time since they returned from capturing the door lord. After they had gotten their stuff back, the princess had requested—more like 'demanded'—that BMO accompany her back to the castle to work on her music. He had been excited for his first time hanging out alone with her, but so far the princess's mind had been elsewhere.
"You know, sometimes it's best to sing a song that matches how you're feeling," BMO said. He tapped out the first few quiet notes of a song. "This song is about a very sad time in my life. Maybe you can play along."
He began singing and left the instrumentals to Bubblegum.
Ja~ke, how could you betray me?
It was Tuesday, and I was clean
But you ate them, yeah you ate cheetos
And then you played, with games on BMO
Now it's sticky, all that powdered orange
And I cried, because it was…pour…pournin'…hmm…
He stopped to try and think of a rhyme but was interrupted by laughter from above.
"That was great BMO!" She smiled down at him, and it seemed like she was finally focused on him. "Did Jake really do that?"
"Yes! It was very rude. But that's okay. I forgave him, because we are family."
"Ah, that must be nice. I wish it were that easy with some people."
She half-closed her eyes and played a few notes, the music flowing more easily this time.
"Is that why you were sad? Because you fight with someone?"
"Mmm, something like that." She continued her melody.
"I am sure you will make up. Because you and the vampire lady love each other."
The music came to an abrupt halt and the princess's eyes snapped open.
"Uh, what…?"
"You love each other because you are like family, no?"
"Oh." She looked away and scratched her cheek. BMO took a photo of the sight for his internal memory. It was rare seeing the headstrong princess acting bashfully after all. After a time, she turned back to him.
"BMO, can I tell you a secret?"
"Ooh, a secret! I love secrets!" He clenched his little hands into fists, and they trembled with excitement.
"You have to promise not to tell anyone ever though."
"I promise! It will go into my encrypted, highest security storage. I will guard it with my life," he said with utmost sincerity.
"Well, you don't have to go that far, but..." She paused, her mouth twisting with uncertainty once again. "I would like to be a family with Marceline. Someday at least."
"See? Then everything will work out just fine." He began to file the issue away as resolved, but then he was struck by the feeling that something was off. Something wasn't adding up. "Wait, why 'someday'? Isn't today better? And, hmm," he paused to think. "Why is it a secret too?"
"Well, it's complicated."
The princess regarded him with a small, wry smile, the same sort look that Finn and Jake sometimes gave him when he didn't get something. Annoyingly, those were also the times when they started treating him like a baby too.
"You don't seem too satisfied with that answer." Her amusement deepened. "How do I say this? Families, being close to someone, it creates its own set of problems. Sometimes it's easier to be apart. Easier but not necessarily better."
"I…don't understand." His processor was starting to overheat, but he still wasn't getting it. Maybe if they had some crayons, she could draw out a more concrete picture.
"That's okay. You know, what I could really use right now is another song. You know any more?"
"Oh, I do! I do!" This BMO could easily do. "This song is a happy one though."
"Great. Happy is good too. Let's hear it."
Princess Bubblegum positioned her fingers to begin playing, and together a happier song rang out.
Current storage at 99.1%.
Estimated time left: 2 hours and 17 minutes.
Continuing…
"Hmm, that is not right. There should be more screaming. Finn likes to scream a lot when he fights."
BMO closed his eyes, concentrating for a few seconds, and a high-pitched shriek like a baby pterodactyl emanated from his speakers.
"Ah, that's better."
The robot sat alone in the treehouse, facing a wall and projecting a neon green image from his monitor upon it. The scene showed a pixelated version of Finn mechanically jumping and slashing his way past striped candles and colorfully wrapped boxes. As he did, a counter for points in the corner of the screen ticked ever upwards.
"It needs more enemies too. More blood for the birthday boy!" He shook his fist and narrowed his eyes. "Something like a cake, but an evil cake, because it is sausage…no! It is made of mud, and the candles are worms, and…it is like a grave zombie cake. Yes! And it has a little tombstone on top. Oh, BMO, you are a genius!"
The goopy zombie cake materialized on screen a moment latter, dripping little pixels of mud as it shambled about. BMO clapped his hands gleefully as video-Finn slashed it apart and got a x2 score multiplier.
As he was sinking back into thought on what foe he could create next, the window blew open, and an icy wind swept across the room.
"Hey, fellas! Ice King in the house!" a nasally voice called from outside. The blue-robed wizard flew headfirst into the room and promptly got stuck in the window frame.
"Eh? Did these windows get smaller since I was last here? Hold on just a…" With a grunt of effort he popped free and tumbled into the room. "There we go."
Silence greeted him as he stood up and dusted himself off.
"Huh. Well, don't everybody rush out all at once," he said peevishly.
"Finn and Jake are not here," said BMO without turning around.
"They're out on the town, huh? Guess I'll stick around and wait for them then," the Ice King drawled, looking around.
"No, no need. They will be gone for…forever. Yes, forever. You will never see them again. So, bye bye!" BMO injected as much cheerfulness as he could into that and prayed the Ice King would get the message.
Ice King wasn't the worst person BMO had ever met. He had come a long ways since the days of kidnapping princesses and nearly getting people killed. Still, BMO did not have time to deal with his 'shenanigans' right now.
"What? Forever?" The Ice King's face lit up in realization, and his tone turned playful. "BMO, are you playing a prank on me? How cute. Gunter used to do that all the time. He'd switch out the sugar for salt, or he'd break my legs with a brick while I was sleeping. Good times."
"Uh, no. I am quite sure they are gone."
"Hmm, well alright." BMO gave a sigh of relief, confident now that the Ice King would be on his way. To his horror, though, the wizard settled down next him and began staring intently at the projection.
"So…whatcha doin'?"
"It is nothing, and I am very busy, so..."
"You making a game? That looks pretty cool."
Despite himself, BMO perked up a bit at hearing the praise.
"Is that Finn up there? Wow, you really got him down pat. That's pretty awesome, BMO."
"It…it is, isn't it?" BMO said proudly, unable to fully control his excitement. "It's called 'Birthday Boy Fighter', and…it will the greatest birthday present ever! It will have secrets and action and drama and…"
He caught himself before he got carried away. The Ice King, though, was listening excitedly to every bit.
"That's incredible! You know, I'm something of a creator myself, although I only work in highest of art forms: fanfiction. What do you say to working together on this?"
"I don't know."
"Great! Well, if you want my professional opinion…"
"You are not a professional," BMO muttered.
"…you need to add a more compelling character. Someone with mystery and depth like, say, a certain wizard?" He waggled his eyebrows at BMO.
"No."
"Aw, c'mon, BMO. I could be Finn's partner or like a wise, sexy mentor."
"No." BMO grimaced at even the thought of it, but then he paused as an idea struck him. "Maybe though, you could be an enemy. An enemy like…the bad guy, the big bad guy. And you are called Ice…Ice Cream King."
His eyes went wide as the idea came together.
"Ooh! That's good too. And I'll be like, 'You'll never take the princess back, Finn!' because that's what I normally do."
"Yes, yes! And that princess will be BMO!"
A digital version of BMO appeared on the wall, complete with a little dress and tiara. A few seconds later Ice Cream King appeared as well. He was a lumpy mass of two scoops of ice cream, with a broken waffle cone on his head for a crown and a beard of whipped cream. As the hero approached, he sent out globs of frozen dairy for Finn to duck under and jump over, slowly making his way to the princess.
When he finally reached there, the hero and princess embraced, and the screen read 'Congratulations! The End' in bold letters around them.
"But it was not the end," BMO added. "Because even after that, they lived happily ever after."
The two of them fell excitedly to talking about other ideas for the game, only stopping when they heard the sound of Finn and Jake returning. BMO switched off the projection a moment before Finn entered the room.
"Huh? BMO and Ice King? That's a rare sight," Finn said as he and Jake plopped down on the couch. "What have you guys been up to?"
"Oh, nothing much." BMO turned to the Ice King and shot him a sly wink.
"Except for that rad game we were working on." The Ice King winked back. "This is our new buddy wink by the way."
BMO slapped a hand to his face.
"Welp, laters!" The wizard turned and flew out the window without a second thought.
"What game?" Finn asked.
Yep, Ice King was still Ice King.
Current storage at 98.6%.
Continuing…
Continuing…
Continuing…
The memories came and went like frames of a film sliding through a movie projector. They flared to life on the big screen, faded to black, and were gone, only to be replaced by the next scene. As the countdown approached zero, the process finally ground to a halt.
Current storage at 92.5%.
Export complete. Ejecting external drive.
BMO opened his eyes to the sound of rain thundering against the window panes of his wooden cabin. He pulled the memory stick from the slot in his chest and carefully laid it in the cardboard box where dozens of other sticks already resided. Their model and age were all different, some having had their colors faded by time, but they all contained the same thing.
"Ah, that feels better. A bit of space inside my head now."
Lightning flashed outside the window, and the thunder that rumbled a second later sounded like pounding on his front door.
Pounding that…continued.
"I-is someone there?" he called as he inched closer to the door. Surely no one would be crazy enough to go outside in this storm. But as he neared the entry, he swore he could almost make out voices, high-pitched cries that were washed away in the wind.
His hand trembled as he reached for the lock. There were two possibilities. One, there was someone outside who needed his help. Two, it was demons, come to suck out his soul and his battery life.
"Oh, please don't be demons. Please don't be demons."
Steeling himself, he flung open the latch and braced his weight against the door, lest it be thrown open violently by the wind. The doorway slid open a foot's breadth, and in tumbled two small, sodden forms dressed in pink and blue parkas.
BMO wrestled the door closed, just as the two figures hopped to their feet.
"BMO!" The one in blue rushed forward with arms wide. The one in pink grabbed his hood from behind and dunked him backwards onto the floor.
"You're all wet, idiot. Dry off first." She lowered her own hood and shook her head, flinging droplets of water from her fur everywhere.
"You're the one who's making a mess! Don't call me an idiot, idiot." He stood up and glared at her, before turning back towards BMO with a big smile on his face. "Anyways, BMO, it's been so long."
He settled for a fist bump this time instead of a hug, which BMO returned weakly. He was still trying to process why two of the children he knew, Lupo and Skaldi, had shown up to his home in the middle of a terrible storm.
"It has been one week, if you consider that to be long. But why are you here? Did something happen at…" He gasped. Something terrible must have happened at the school to compel them to make such a dangerous journey.
"Oh no! Don't tell me the school is flooded or captured by pirates or…consumed by bees." He grimaced at the thought of students being encased in honeycomb, screaming their last inside a sticky sweet tomb.
Skaldi laughed as she rung the water out of her coat. "What? No, we're just here to see you."
"Yeah, we snuck out because we were bored." Lupo shot BMO a thumbs-up.
"Oh."
Silently, he led Lupo over to his sister and stood in front of them with a kind smile on his face.
"Well in that case." He karate-chopped both of them in the head. "You are both in big trouble."
The identical looks of surprise and then dismay were almost enough to make BMO forget his annoyance. Their round ears lay flat against the tops of their heads, and the raccoon-like ring of black fur around their eyes, still wet from the rain, looked like mascara running from tears.
"You did not tell your teacher either, I bet."
"We did! We left a note," Skaldi defended, but then her eyes slid to the side. "Uh, under my pillow."
BMO sighed. Well, at least he could count on them for their honesty. Honesty and trouble. He smiled a bit despite himself. It seemed like he was always drawn to kids like that.
"I had better go call the school." The two of them looked further depressed. "I need to let them know you are staying the night here."
They instantly perked up again, and he stretched up to pat them on the head.
"Just try not to make us worry next time."
"I promise! Thank you!" It was the normally composed Skaldi that went to hug him this time.
"Ah, no, towels are over there!"
The two kids, now thankfully dry, sat at a low wooden table while BMO prepared tea. The storm outside hadn't relented a bit since they had arrived, and the house occasionally creaked under its beating. Still, the wafting smell of cinnamon and honey and the sound of boisterous conversation made the room feel warm.
"I want to hear another one about the princess," Skaldi said to BMO as he carried the tea tray towards them.
"Again? Really?" Lupo looked at her disdainfully. "Aren't you a little old to be playing make-believe with pretty princesses?"
"She's a real person. BMO said so." Her eyes narrowed at her brother. "And she's way cooler than, what was that you're obsessed with again, swords? There's plenty of sticks outside if you want to go play sword-fighting."
The china and silverware clinked as BMO steered the tea tray right back around.
"I see you are already busy. I guess you don't have time for a story," he sighed dramatically.
The children immediately quieted and sat up straight to face him. Their tails still occasionally lashed at each other, but that was as good as BMO could expect. He set the tray down on the table and settled in on one of the stools. What story should he go with for today?
"This story is about BMO when BMO was very little. Well, I was the same size as now, but little on the inside." He tapped the side of his case by his head. "It all started when…oh! I almost forgot the most important part. Could you get it for me, Lupo?"
The boy hopped off his chair and ran to the other side of the room. There he scaled a narrow bookshelf and snatched something from the top: a gray costume beard.
You can't tell a story from long ago without an old man beard after all. That wouldn't make any sense.
As Lupo perched on the edge of the bookshelf and waved the beard back and forth victoriously, the shelf began to bend and tilt. With a snap, the wood broke, and he fell along with a cascade of books. BMO watched in horror as he landed on the edge of a skateboard, which catapulted the red helmet of Glob through a window.
With a terrible crash, the window shattered, letting the fury of the storm inside. The rain came down in sheets, quickly soaking the floorboards and anything unfortunate enough to be close by.
"Lupo! My stuff!"
He and Skaldi rushed over, as Lupo wobbled to his feet, seemingly unhurt. BMO stopped just outside of the rainfall as he surveyed the damage. Getting himself wet wouldn't help anything after all. He cringed as he saw the drippy remains of his commemorative poster of the Scream Queens, his book by J.T. Dawgzone, and…the box!
BMO rushed into the rain and threw his weight against the side of the box. The sodden cardboard had made it heavy though, and it stuck to the floor no matter how hard he struggled against it.
"Ah, come on, move!"
He felt the children joined him on either side, and slowly, painfully slowly, the box scooted along the floor. With a final effort, they shoved the box clear from the zone of rain, and it tipped, spilling the memory sticks along the floor. BMO gathered them up, ignoring the broken window and his other things for now, and wrapped them in a towel to dry.
A time later, after the three of them had covered the window and the storm had ended and the children had been put to bed, BMO returned to the bundle of memory sticks. Lupo had apologized—repeatedly and tearfully—and his sister had even apologized on his behalf, but it was no one's fault. This was just what happened over time. Things got broken.
Unrolling the towel, visually there was nothing wrong with them. There wouldn't be any way to tell until he accessed their data though. Feeling a sense of dread, he selected one—one of the older ones whose colored paint had completely faded away—and plugged it into his chest.
Loading…
Error: Checksum failed. Data may be partially corrupted. It is recommended you do not access this file.
[Repair]
Repair process initiated. 296 bad sectors detected.
Repairing…1%
Repairing…2%
"Maybe this is enough."
BMO settled down in a bean bag chair to wait for the process to finish.
"Maybe the accident was a sign, like from glob or something. 'BMO, that stuff is really old. You smell like old man now. Gross! Throw it away!' Something like that."
He looked around at the mementos cluttering his home. Trophies and crowns, posters and books, dolls and cups and clothes.
"Maybe it's like what…a friend once told me. Even if you really love something, once it's gone, poof! It's not real anymore, and it doesn't matter to you."
Repairing…Complete.
"Ahh, but I do care!" He wrung his hands nervously.
73 sectors unable to be recovered. It is recommended you do not access this file.
[Upload]
Warning: Uploading corrupted data may affect internal memory.
Continue?
BMO looked over at the children sleeping and thought about the things beyond the cabin walls as well. He wasn't unhappy. He had many things he loved besides these. But…these memories were just as deserving of love as everything he had today.
"Oh well."
[Yes]
BMO walked about the treehouse, in and amongst the numerous _ _ _ scattered on the floor, and felt somewhat lost in his own home. The place seemed different now. Everything on the walls had been taken down and stashed away. All the years' worth of _ _ _ and knickknacks had been packed. And the rooms that were left just felt…different. Foreign.
His own stuff had been easy to gather, little as it was. A controller and backup memory cards, his skateboard and vampire _ _ _ gear, a couple outfits he had worn over the years. But even so, most of the _ _ _, the majority of them even, had 'BMO' written on the side in marker.
"Hey, BMO! You want this mug?" said Jake, holding up a mug with '_ _ _ Guy' on the side. "And what about this, uh…" He slid a picture frame out from under the couch. "…portrait of a banana guy? Wonder where we got that."
"Oh, yes and yes please."
The mug and picture were tossed together into another one of his _ _ _.
"Forget about that stuff. I've got something way better." _ _ _ hoisted a small metal grill over his head.
"Hey! You give that back. No one touches my panini maker!"
Stretchy yellow arms shot out and snatched the grill from _ _ _'s hands.
"Taking a man's panini maker. What's the world coming to?" Jake muttered to himself indignantly.
Contrary to BMO, _ _ _ and Jake seemed excited, energized. He didn't understand it. He didn't want to understand it.
"Dude, you don't even need that thing. You're going to have a whole kitchen where you're moving. Just let BMO have it."
"What's he even going to do with it? He's not going to _ _ _ sandwiches. Plus, we're already giving him the rest of this junk."
"Junk…" BMO looked around at the empty rooms and all the lifeless objects packed away. That hollow feeling started to rise up within him.
"Aw, no, BMO. I didn't mean it like that. Hey, look it's your favorite…" Jake grabbed a random object out of a _ _ _—a Christmas _ _ _ with little trees and hearts on it.
"No, you are right. It is just trash. Trash to be left behind, like BMO." He hopped into one of the _ _ _ and laid down inside. Maybe his circuits were broken.
_ _ _ leaned over the _ _ _ and looked down with a concerned expression on his face. He had grown so big now. That rosy-cheeked little boy now had stubble on his face and was nearly twice as tall as Jake. How had that happened so fast?
"It's not like we'll never see each other again BMO. It just that my wife will kill me if I don't move out of the treehouse," he said with a fond smile. "And Jake…well, Jake is pretty overdue for moving out too."
"But I ain't moving 'cause I want to either. I got some grandpups that were just _ _ _, and it looks like they're growing up at a normal speed for once. Figure Lady and I can give the kids a hand with raising them since it might take a while."
"I know," BMO said weakly, his voice muffled by the 'junk' he was buried in.
BMO was an adult too. That was what he had decided at least, back when Moe had died and all of the other _ _ _ had been destroyed too. It was up to him to decide what he wanted to do and how he wanted to be.
He still didn't know those things, even though it had been years since that time. Everyone else seemed to be growing up but him. But he had at least decided that this was the time to go find his own way.
It was just hard following through with it.
BMO gathered his strength and hopped out of the _ _ _.
"Hmph, I am just worried about you kids going off on your own. Who knows what you will do without me around to watch you?"
"It can't be any worse than what we usually do." _ _ _ came over and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Plus, I heard you're going to be busy taking care of a whole group of kids."
"Well, I will be helping at least. Can you believe none of them have ever played a video _ _ _?"
"Scandalous," Jake said.
The three of them paused for a minute, just soaking up one last view of the place. This time it didn't seem so lonely to BMO. The treehouse and their _ _ _ there would still exist. Maybe not in a way that he could touch it or see it, but…it was enough.
"I love you, buddy. Stay safe out there," _ _ _ said.
"Hey, me too!" Jake scooped both of them up in a stretchy hug.
BMO laughed in delight and said, "_ _ __ _ __ _ __ _ __ _ __ _ _
Playback error. Ejecting.
The memory card came free from his side. BMO reverently put it away, this time in a watertight plastic bin. The memory may have been corrupted, but he remembered those last words.
"Thanks, you guys, for everything. I love you, Jake. And I love you too…Phil."