A/N: I've been fairly obsessed with The Mentalist lately and although I'm normally an angst writer I wanted to try something a little more fun - who better to do that with than Patrick Jane? Reviews appreciated as this is my first venture into TM fanfic and if you like it there will be a few more chapters to this one and I daresay I'll have a few other stories up soon too - lots of ideas :)

Hope you enjoy.

Perhaps

"Come on Teresa, give us a twirl."

"You're lucky I don't have my gun, Jane!" she hissed through a fake smile as she strolled ever so carefully down the little catwalk. Teresa Lisbon wasn't used to heels...or dresses...or having a bunch of men ogle her. But it was for a good cause and Jane had unleashed the puppy dog eyes and completed his act with pouted lips and child-like whine of her name.

As usual she gave in and found herself being paraded in front of "horny old businessmen", as Rigsby so eloquently put it, auctioning off the pleasure of her company for an evening.

Both Lisbon and Van Pelt had been coerced into taking part with Rigsby looking decidedly put out when he realised he wouldn't be able to afford an evening with Grace. She, of course, had managed to raise just under $12,000 for the Davis Children's Hospital while Lisbon was clinging to the hope that Jane had invited Mashburn!

Fake smile set on her face she scanned the room. No sign of Mashburn...she knew she should have paid Cho to bid for her!

"As I was saying, here we have Teresa Lisbon, the C.B.I's very own sexy little hobbit," she glared at him, smile still in place, as the crowd tittered with laughter, lapping up Jane's infinite charm and humour.

Oh yeah Jane's hilarious...try spending more than 2 hours in a car with him. "Are we there yet?" "Lisbon, where did you put my sandwich?" "Oh look the world's largest mole hill...can we go Lisbon?"

She often wondered if changing her name would make him someone else's problem.

"Now on the surface she looks like a tough cookie but I can assure you it's not difficult to make her crumble. She's a simple girl at heart who likes good food, good wine and good control over your weapon." He winked cheekily at the crowd as she seethed, the garish blush on her cheeks clashing with her deep purple dress. "Whether you take her dancing or to a football game she'll show you a wonderful time and if you're very lucky she might even show you her Spice Girls dance moves."

The smile slid off her face. Son of a...

"So, gentleman, only one question remains. Do you wannabe her lover?"

Screw it, bare hands will do.

Her fingers were inches from finding their way around his neck when the first bid came in.

"1,000 dollars."

"2,000"

Both Jane and Lisbon turned their heads towards the crowd as Jane returned to his usual form, grateful that he had a little more time to invent a story about how he discovered her dirty little secret.

"2,000 dollars? For this feisty little fox? I'm afraid you're going to have to up your game fellas. I bid 3,000 dollars."

"What the hell are you playing at? 2,000 is fine let's just get this over with so we can be done here and I can make you target practice." Her attempt at a whisper echoed through his microphone as he grinned that impossibly perfect smile at her.

Defiant he continued.

"Do I hear 4,000 dollars?" And so it went on.

And on.

And on.

Bidder number 1 backed down.

And on.

$12,000.

Lisbon had risen more than Grace. How she did not know, especially since her shock was plain to see, mouth hanging open like a demented guppy which she was betting didn't look all too attractive. Secretly she began to enjoy the bidding war, even if Jane was one of the two options. Either she'd have a night of him wowing a waitress with his charm and winning smile while pissing her off (as usual) or she'd have an evening with a fairly attractive "horny old businessman".

Much as she hated to admit it, part of her was disappointed when Jane stopped bidding.

Just a smidge.

"$14,999.99 and not a cent more."

Jane was beside the other bidder, invading his personal space as he attempted to coax a whole extra cent from his fat wallet.

"15 thousand my good man," he chirped jovially. English accent, sexy salt and pepper hair, and a nice smile as well as raising all that money for charity.

Perhaps this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"Going once, twice, three times and SOLD to the gentleman with impeccable taste in ties..." his eyes found Teresa's, "and women."

There was a look of sincerity there, visible even at a distance, which caused a particularly loud thud in her chest.

Perhaps she was a little too disappointed that Jane surrendered so easily.

In truth, she wanted him to want her.

There was no perhaps about that.