Pairings in this: Bade, Jori. Enjoy :)

I need to see you.

Those five words are replaying through my head, projecting onto every part of my body.

They send shivers through my spine, pulsing straight through to my fingertips and down to my toes.

"You okay babe?" He asks, glancing over at me with concern in his deep brown eyes. I always get lost in those eyes, always full of love and hope and simple perfection. I hate lying to him.

"I'm fine, just a little tired."

He leans over and places a small peck on my cheek, before turning over in my bed, continuing to read a script he was given.

I think about ignoring you. About ignoring our past. I just want to continue on as we are now, with us both bullshitting our way through every single day.

But I can't do it any longer.

When?

When he says goodnight, I am barely aware of it. "I love you babe."

"I love you too." I mutter, watching as he flicks off the lamp beside him. I settle down into his back. I inhale his scent and begin to trace simple patterns onto his back. My phone lights up.

Now.

I sigh and silently tap back a reply.

I'll text you when Beck's asleep.

I feel like I am lying there for hours when suddenly I hear the rhythmic breathing of Beck in sleep form. I rub his back once more, thankful for him being a heavy sleeper, before slipping out from under the covers. I throw on my combat boots and a warm hoodie, grabbing my keys before tip toeing my way downstairs.

I open the front door while blindly fumbling for my car key, locating it and shutting it behind me.

I look up. You are there.

"Hi."

"Hey."

I do something I have tried so hard to resist for so long.

I walk right into your arms and you pull me close to you, I feel so safe and at home here.

We finally pull away from each other. "Do you want to go to the park?"

I nod silently and without warning you grab my hand. We still fit together perfectly like we used to.

We walk off, hand in hand, towards the park on the corner, where we always used to go. When it was ours.

It feels incredibly natural walking straight over to the pair of swings, me in the left, and you always in the right.

We begin to swing, almost in sync, and I am too afraid to speak. I don't want to talk about what I know we're going to have to eventually.

"Jade. I miss you."

I stop swinging momentarily. Halted by the pleading in your voice.

"I miss you too, Tori." It feels odd saying your name without others around, watching me, watching us.

You look over at me and raise an eyebrow. "Not just like that. I miss the way we used to be. I hate how I have to pretend now. I hate how I have to pretend that we never happened so long ago and that I never knew you until your first day. I miss our talks. I miss your hugs. I just... yeah."

"But why are you nasty to me, Jade?"

I snap my head around and look you dead in the eyes. "You broke my heart, Tori. Shattered it into a thousand little pieces. I don't think you realised how much you hurt me. When I saw you on the first day, my first reaction was to over react."

"Are you still mad at me now?"

I ponder for a moment but I already know the answer. "No."

"Then why are you still nasty to me?"

I shrug. "Keeping up appearances. And it's easier this way."

You stop dead and stands up. "Is it really though? Is it fucking really?"

I flinch at you swearing. I had never heard her swear before. Ever. "Maybe. I don't know."

I don't know what to do when you grab the sides of my swing and pull me to a stop.

"Jade. I want you. No, scratch that. I need you."

Your brown eyes are pleading with mine. So many goddamn brown eyes. I don't want to have to deal with this but I just can't leave.

"Tori..."

"No jade, please." You cut me off, bending down so we are at the same height. "Just hear me out."

I nod and you take a deep breath and continue. "I know I broke your heart. I'm still so ashamed of myself. I have never forgiven myself for that. You were my everything, but I was a fucked up, confused teenager and I didn't know exactly who I was."

"And when you and Beck broke up for those couple of months and we got to spend some real, proper time together. It was perfect. Each time just got better than the last. When you got back together with Beck, I was the one heartbroken this time. But you were happy. And that's all I wanted. For you to be happy."

You look away, breathing deeply, before wiping a single tear away that is making its way down your cheek.

"Now I know that all I want is you. You are still my everything. I can't imagine anything without you. I just need you back."

I am rendered speechless as tears begin to form. My vision becomes blurred and I don't know what to do.

"Tori, I will never forget about you. You will forever be my first love. You taught me how to be me. You fixed me when I was broken."

You're the finest thing that I've done.

"And Jesus, I've tried so hard to erase all memories of us, to make it hurt less, but I just can't."

A hurricane I'll never outrun.

"But Tori, I love Beck."

The days are racing, but you come back too slow.

You slowly stand, visibly shaking. I reach out to touch you but you flinch away.

"Tori, please, I still care about you!" You say nothing, you only turn away from me, and without a second glance you begin to run away.

"Tori! Jesus, Tori!" You have already stepped into your car, your key in the ignition.

I know there's no point chasing after you. You drive away and I can't help but let out a desperate cry. I walk back to the house, taking off my shoes and throwing my keys down, walking back up the stairs and sliding back into bed, just as I did before.

I look over at him, and I cannot help but begin to sob. He wakes with a start and he turns over to look at me. I am a crumbling mess.

I could wait around for the dust to still.

Without a word, he collects me in his arms and holds me hard against him, raking his strong hands through my hair as I continue to weep.

I know I have made the right decision but you will never leave my head again.

But I don't believe that it ever will.

Hurricane - The Hush Sound