A/N: Okay, so I got hit by Driven as well.
Summary: Kate's thoughts about halfway through Castle's disappearance. Spoilers for 7X01
One More Day
She wakes, reaching for him, only finding the cold, empty sheets beside her. She breathes through the clench between her ribs, the twist of her insides, that threaten to take over once more.
Only a moment ago, he was there, smiling so brightly, eyes so happy and so alive. So close, so tangible, yet so far, unable to touch as his hand stretched toward hers...
It was another dream.
The tears fall silently now. She has cried so much since he disappeared, there is no longer a voice or sound to carry with them. Before long, her pillow is soaked, and the burning pain of his absence lessens to a dull ache in her bones. - This is exactly the reason she stayed here, in her apartment, last night. So maybe, just for one night, she wouldn't be reminded of him or the emptiness.
She sits up, forces her body to stand and walks to the bathroom. Every movement is mechanical: showering, brushing her teeth, drying her hair, tossing on a set of clothes.
Then, she sees the calendar. Four weeks, five days since he vanished, and of all days, she's scheduled to be off work. She wants to go to the precinct, but the captain made it clear for her to not show up today for any reason. Her hands itch, wanting to do something productive, but all that matters now is trying to find a clue that will lead to him.
She goes into her kitchen, leaning on the counter, facing the new murder board adorning her shutters. It's a familiar stance, but an unfamiliar feeling, this hollow void that threatens to take her under, further beneath than her mother's case ever touched.
Her gaze locks on his picture, sending all she has, all she is, into the universe, trying to regain the hope that he's still out there, unharmed, and hopefully, trying to find his way home.
The pain clenches in her chest again, her bullet wound pulls, making new, hidden, scars on her heart.
She's suffocating, but she has to hold on.
It's been so hard, trying to find even the smallest bit of joy in each day, and it's increasingly difficult as time passes along. She still tries, just for him, because she knows he would do the same for her.
The first rays of sunlight filter into her too-empty apartment, illuminating the rooms and chasing the shadows away. One beam shines brightly on the spine of Heat Rises, and it feels like he's here, watching over her, giving her hope. It's not his latest work, but it's the story within that lifts her up, making the corner of her mouth pull upward. It's not much, but it's enough.
She'll find him. She has to, she just needs to keep searching for one more day.
Like each one behind her, it's become her mantra: One more day.