(A/N): No comment. Besides the fact that this is a hacked posting. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Kenzie!

Once upon a time, there was a porpoise named Kenzie. Kenzie was not completely a dolphin, but she was definitely not a shark, either.

There was another evil porpoise named Ally, who wanted to date-rape Kenzie. So Kenzie told Ally to back off, and (at first) it seemed to work.

Ally was dating a shark, so all seemed cool for a while.

But when Ally broke up with the shark, Kenzie was in grave danger.

Kenzie consulted with her friend, Laura, the mermaid. Laura believed that love didn't have to be labeled with sharks, dolphins, and porpoises. So Laura helped Kenzie.

Laura hid Kenzie away with all she could ever wish for.

Kenzie had her iClam (which had Twitter and Facetime), so she was never bored.

Laura got Kenzie tons of burritos, enchilada style, and Redvines, so Kenzie never went hungry.

Laura also had abundant supplies of Pornjuice for Kenzie, so she was never thirsty.

All was well, until Ally found Kenzie's hideout.

Luckily, Laura had hacked into Kenzie's iClam, where she was Facetiming with someone.

Laura witnessed as Ally grabbed hold of Kenzie, and took her away.

Laura called her friends, the New Directions, for help.

Mercedes, the catfish, blasted Ally with a high note.

Tina, the ribbonfish, wrapped Ally up in a bunch of lacy vampire clothes.

Quinn, the angelfish, gave birth to an army of fish, which attacked Ally.

Rachel, the clownfish, fainted upon Ally, trapping her beneath her way-too-short skirt.

Santana, the electric eel, pole-danced on Ally, shocking her heavily.

Brittany, the good porpoise, astounded Ally with her extensive knowledge of dolphin sex.

Lauren, the octopus, sat on Ally.

Puck, the sex shark, ripped Ally's clothes off with his impressive teeth.

Sam, the yellow sea sponge, buried Ally in cheap lemon-juice hair-dye.

Finn, the dogfish, threw a ball at Ally's head.

Mike, the pandafish, threw up bamboo and riceballs on Ally.

Artie, the wheeled fish, rolled over Ally's toes.

Kurt and Blaine (who were not actually part of New Directions), stunned Ally with their hot, dolphin sex (which Brittany narrated).

Then Laura the mermaid stole Ally's terrible voice.

Finally, Kenzie was safe and in the arms of her bestest buddies (Laura and the New Directions).

And they all lived happily ever after!

(A/N): TA-DA! I HOPE YOU'RE LAUGHING KENZIE!