Hiya! DizzyPressin here with my first fic on this account! I've written fanfiction before, but now I'm actually posting it on this site. I hope you enjoy this first chapter I have completed (I tried to keep it short cuz I know people hate stories that are WAY too long). Anyway, it seems disclaimers are mandatory, so here's mine: everything in this story, the characters, the school, what have you… belong to me. Yes, the author willed me them right before getting into a freak spoon accident. Anyway, I wish I could say that, but no, I don't actually own anything. Maybe someday.

Touga woke up in a blissful mood one fine Saturday morning. The night before he had gone to a party where he had womanized, drunk, womanized, ate awesome chips, womanized, and gotten into the best cake ever…. And womanized. He felt mighty pleased with himself as he headed for his plush restroom, only to be struck by horror as he stood on the scale.

"Holy sweet muffins!" He exclaimed piteously. His body had finally taken its toll after all of the partying he had occupied himself on a nightly basis. Now, almost as though it were from out of nowhere, Touga found himself staring into the face of his biggest dilemma yet: an extra five pounds. There was no way any chick would want him with his man pudge! There had to be a solution to go about this, but what could it be?

Quickly, Touga threw on his clothes and rushed to the cafeteria in search of Miki, the only person on the campus wise enough to answer the red-head's questions. Grabbing a piece of stress-relieving carrot cake, Touga immediately sat in front of the seventh grader who grasped so much beyond his years.

"Miki, I need your help," Touga spouted, staring at the blue haired boy frantically. "Just recently the most horrible thing happened!"

Miki glanced at him ponderously. "Did End of the World send you an insulting letter?"

"No, worse!"

"Miss Utena rejected you for a ten year old!"

"Even worse than that!"

Miki's eyes widened in horror. "Saionji forced you to go with him to his knitting club!"

The red haired man's eyes began to fill with tears. "No, my friend. Something much more terrible has happened." He covered his face with his hand in shame. "I just gained… five pounds."

The room fell hush, all conversations stopping as every person's gaze locked onto their Student Council President. Miki gasped in shear terror at the news, his jaw left hanging open. Touga knew his condition was serious, but to now realize how grave it was jolted him with a sudden wave of fear.

"Miki, you must know. Is there anything I can do? What has to be done to rid me of this curse!"

"I-I don't know!" The younger boy exclaimed. "There's never been a record of a student at Ohtori Academy to have ever gained weight before! It's just not natural! And you, a love prospect out of all people, why, for you to put on five pounds should be physically impossible!"

"Please Miki! Do you have any idea of what could be done? I always thought it was a myth like pregnancy and AIDS!"

"I'm not sure," Miki said as he thought hard on the matter. "It's possible that the only way you can get rid of your excess baggage is if you revolutionize the world."

"Of course!" Touga stood in revelation, "I should have thought of that! With such power I could burn more fat than any mortal could possibly desire. But that does mean fighting Miss Utena Tenjou… unless I first seduce her." A brilliant scheme began to form in the President's head. If he could get Utena to fall in love with him, then she would have no choice other than to give him her revolutionary power. It was an ingenious plan, and as luck would have it, Miss Tenjou had just walked into the cafeteria. Taking a large bite out of a Godiva chocolate bar to boost his confidence, Touga strutted towards the pink haired female with as much testosterone enforced pazazz as he could muster.

"Why hello Miss Utena. You know, last night I had the strangest dream. I was sitting underneath a large tree watching the sunset when an angel appeared to me, and I realized the angel was you."

Most normally such a corny line from the Student Council President would have swept any lady Ohtori student off her feet, but Utena could only stare in a confused manner.

"Touga? Are you… wider, by chance?"

Touga found himself unable to respond. Was his extra baggage really all that obvious?

Finding herself strangely curious, Utena could not help but poke at the red head. "My goodness! You're stomach feels like a bowl of watered down jelly! This may seem like a ridiculous question but have you gained weight?"

Not wanting to deal with this insolence any longer, Touga stomped off angrily. Perhaps a good spar with Saionji in the Kendo room would make him feel better. Before he reached it, though, the Vice President had spotted him in the hallway, a malicious grin spread across his pasty face.

"Why Touga!" Saionji shouted out as he walked towards him. "I heard the rumors but I could not believe they were true… until now. You really have gotten fat, haven't you?"

"I'm not fat! I've just got a little extra cushion is all," Touga replied to the best of his ability.

"Yes, well while you're 'cushioning', I'll be taking up the title of Ohtori's newest heart throb. I have to thank you, Touga. Never in all my wildest dreams did I think I'd become more of a man piece than you. Maybe I'll send you a bulk package of cheesecake to show my gratitude."

Touga wanted to shout some brilliant retort at his childhood friend when it dawned on him: he looked worse than Saionji! That had never happened before. Now all the girls would be swarming the green haired mess and he, the true epitome of hotness, would be left on the sidelines. There was no way he could stand for it.

"You might be having your time now, old friend," Touga shot him a menacing glance, "But soon I'll be hotter than you've ever seen before. Just you wait." He turned then and headed for his campus estate. A new plan was in motion and he'd be damned if he didn't follow through with it.

Chapter One End