SCAVENGER HUNT

Summary: Post-game AU. Given the worst job GLaDOS can think of, Android Wheatley sets out into the horrible world of humans to find test subjects… If things weren't looking bleak before, the appearance of a certain female makes it all the harder.

Rated: T

Warnings: A bit of swearing…

Pairings: Wheatley/Chell, against my better judgment. xD

PART I: The List of What You Need

He was barely used to being in the human shaped body, before GLaDOS had sent him out (well, more booted him out, really) of Aperture.

With a little effort, figuring out how to move his arm, he checked the 'watch' around his left wrist. '15 D 20 H 35 M 23 S' It wasn't meant for telling what time it currently was, it was a gauge of how much power he had left before he just collapsed and shut down. GLaDOS had told him that he needed to be back at Aperture to charge, before he powered down... She would not go out and fetch him.

Unfortunately, she had also demanded that he bring a minimum of five humans back every time he needed a charge.

How was he, a strangely pale, shorthaired blonde with glowing blue eyes supposed to convince humans that he was trustable? … or even human for that matter?

Well, he needed to find the creatures before any convincing could be done anyway. And fast.

PART II: To Go Out and Find It

It had been nearly five days of straight walking, the panic within him had been growing steadily, when a pillar of smoke appeared. He focused on it, a gasp of surprised joy escaping him, before he began sprinting towards the source.

Just before he ran through it, Wheatley stopped at a small white fence. He grinned and quickly jumped it.

He had run into an old farmer a few moments after hopping the fence, to find that he was burning some sort of organic matter. The AI figured it would be better to not question this.

The man was clearly passed his 'middle age', probably in his 60's, if Wheatley were to really analyze it. This fact, combined with the man's girth and lack of knowledge of personal hygene, told him that GLaDOS would not accept him as a test subject. Because while she only said 'humans', he knew she had standards and would love to have any reason to launch him back into space… Or worse keep him at Aperture to 'study' farther into android updates.

"Hello, dear Sir! Could you possibly guide me to the nearest town? I'm afraid I've gotten rather lost."

"Obviously," Wheatley was sure the man said it with a bit more force than was necessary. "The fuck is a fairy like you doin' out here?"

Ah, he had a charming personality as well.

"Oh, just looking for… ah, for a friend! Yes, but I've lost my way. So if you could be so kind as to just-"

"Keep heading the way you were." The man rubbed his face, then wiped his hand on his overalls.

Nasty, horrible, smelly humans.

"Oh… Kay?"

"There's a road, take a left and follow it a few miles to town."

"Thanks!" Wheatley gave a polite nod and started on his way.

"If I find you on my property again, fairy, I'll shoot to kill." Whatever that meant.

So he followed the old human's instructions and had, in fact, come to a road that went through a town.

It seemed that the town was surrounded by miles of farmland, though he had seen the ruins of buildings here and there. Ancient reminders of what the world used to be.

The town itself was surprisingly bustling, much to Wheatley's delight and the dirt that now caked his once pure-white lab outfit, helping him to fit into the crowd. He assumed the lights behind his optics weren't as pronounced in the sunlight.

Though anytime he approached anyone, they'd turn away and continue walking. It wasn't long before the sun began to set and he still hadn't even had a conversation with anyone. He looked at his 'watch'.

'10 D 09 H 29 M 13 S'

Giving himself six days to walk back to Aperture, gave him roughly… four days to find five test subjects.

Before he felt the despair of hopelessness come over him, he heard shouting from a nearby building. He slowly approached it, taking in the details of a large crowd of people… They were disorderly and clearly intent on causing trouble… even violence. In the center of them, another bigger older man mumbled to the crowd.

It was better to not get involved with their conflicts, he decided, and continued walking farther into town.

He tried coming up with a plan, but every time he thought of one, he also thought of a way it could go horribly wrong and end in him dying in the middle of a crowd of curious onlookers.

Eventually the streets emptied and the sun was fully set. He couldn't bother humans at this time of night, they would never listen… So he sat at the side of a fountain, in what he assumed was the center of the small town, to really think of a plan.

He hadn't actually learned much about humans during the time he had taken care of the test subjects or even the short time he had spent with…

In any case, he wasn't quite sure how he could convince five of them to walk five or six days to a science lab in a tiny shed in a field.

Maybe GLaDOS expected him to fail.

As he went between trying to think of plans and cursing his 'boss's existence, the sun began to rise and a few people started to walk along the streets again. Wheatley ignored them, for the most part, until he was approached by two younger looking women. They were adorned in non-revealing dresses and large scarves. He could see their breath as they stared at him.

… "Um… Can I help you ladies?"

"You're very pale, sir."

He nervously shifted under their gaze. Did they know? "I guess I'm not feeling well?" Paleness was a symptom of disease, right?

The one that spoke before, looked to the other with her, "He doesn't look ill." Uh-oh.

"Perhaps he's just cold? He's not dressed very well for the weather."

"Very true, sister. Let us bring him back to the Home and dress him better."

Home sounded like it had more humans in it.

He agreed to follow the women back, quickly forming explanations to their questions. He was quite proud of it, really.

"What's your name, stranger?"

"My name? My name is Whea-…. Uh, Wheap."

The women exchanged glances, "Weep?"

"Yeah! Wheap Namuh." Human backwards! As clever as he was sure that was, the women didn't look convinced. "It's Japanese," He assured them.

"You… don't look Japanese."

He didn't really know what 'Japanese' was supposed to look like… Better to just go on the defensive, "And who are you to judge?"

They walked silently for a few seconds and 'Wheap' had wondered if he had made a terrible mistake… until one of the women chuckled.

"I apologize, it was wrong of me. Your parents must have been immigrants in Japan then, yes? What did they do there?"

"Uh…" What did they do? What were they referring to? Asking about? He slowly replied with the only answer his machine-mind could, "Science?" The women nodded and seemed to take this as an acceptable answer. "Yeah! They were scientists! I'm here to find people to help them study." Honesty?

"Oh, you won't find any scientists here."

Before he could reply, they were walking into the building he had seen the mob in front of the night before. He wasn't sure this was a good thing.

END ACT 1

End note: Tell me what you think? This is my first real Chelley and even my first chaptered Portal fic. More to come soon, if you want it. xD Otherwise, I'm headed back to writing ChellDOS... I just got this idea in my head and wanted to write it. c: