Disclaimer: I don't own the Warriors series, Koei does and I don't own the Three Kingdoms and neither K.O. 3anguo.
Xiao Qiao's New Love
At the Koei building….
"Xiao, why did you call us here on this meeting?" Zhou Yu asked.
"Because….. I can't stop fainting after watching that TV idol drama. You were also in it," Xiao Qiao looked in great mood, but Zhou Yu thought she's hiding something from him.
"You always watch too much idol dramas," Da Qiao fumed.
"But, this one about us! Zhou Yu, the guy who played you is very handsome and Sun Ce too. You look badass and cunning instead of the stupid surfboy you were in Dynasty Warriors," Xiao Qiao said.
"Ooh, so they finally portray me to justice," Sun Ce nodded victorious.
"What about me, Xiao?" Gan Ning asked.
"Um….you looked like…..well…" Xiao Qiao showed Gan Ning the picture of the actor who played Gan Ning in the drama.
GanNing look in horror, "You..You gotta be fragging kidding!"
Ling Tong laughed so hard as the other Wu guys. Gan Ning is ugly for once.
"You're very unattractive Xingba. It's better this way so we won't get to be looked as the pretty boy force anymore. Hahaha," Ling Tong laughed.
"And here's Taishi Ci," Xiao Qiao showed the actor who played Taishi Ci.
"Not bad, I shall be getting fangirls for once," Taishi Ci snickered.
"They should make a movie based on me and have Jiro Wang as the young Sun Ce," Sun Ce grinned.
"This is stupid! The guy who played me looks absolutely nothing like I should be as a teenager!" Gan Ning took out his River Master and cut the photo in pieces.
Ling Tong is still laughing so hard. Gan Ning for once is an ugly bum. He loves this topic now.
"Lu Meng, this is you," Xiao Qiao shows Lu Meng the photo of a bratty punk who looks like he's 9th grade.
"Well, I was once a troublemaker as a kid…." Lu Meng sighed.
"You guys go to Jiang Dong High, but I'm in Dong Han High in this drama because of Diao Chan," Xiao Qiao said.
Diao Chan picks up the photo of a beautiful girl.
"So this is me and we're suppose to be friends right?" Diao Chan questioned.
"Yes, oh and here's the photos of the Shu guys," Xiao Qiao showed the four tiger generals and Liu Bei the actors who played them as the main characters.
"Hahaha, we're the pretty ones!" Ma Chao elbowed Huang Zhong.
"How do I look when I'm young? Ahh, I miss the glory days of my services in the Imperial Army…." Huang Zhong wept.
"Badass, at least, Lin Bo Yan is cooler than Cola. Hahaha," Zhang Fei said.
Gan Ning gave Yide the middle finger.
"I'm still handsome and sincerity," Liu Bei crossed his arms glancing at the actor's photo.
"All of them are based on a group call Fahrenheit. Sun Shang Xiang, you play the actress who also do all the opening and ending themed songs," Xiao Qiao then showed Sun Shang Xiang the photo of who played as her.
"Alright, she definitely fit the bill for me as the warrior princess! Nothing like the horrible presentation DW 6 version of me and the actress isn't all looks…" Sun Shang Xiang said.
"Pets Cang is Sun Shang Xiang? She looks more tomboy than Zhao Wei. This absolutely portrays her rationally," Zhou Yu checks the photo of Shang Xiang actress and stares it for minutes.
"Let me see it please?" Liu Bei asked excitedly.
"Ask Sun Shang Xiang, not me," Zhou Yu told him in a gullible tone.
"No he may not see it," Sun Shang Xiang stuck her tongue out at mock Liu Bei.
"Aww, but we're still lovers in the show and my future wife," Liu Bei whimpered.
Sun Shang Xiang did a quick cheap shot on Liu Bei's face knocking him hard on the wall with a crack.
"Who said I'll be your future wife in that series!? It's not even the real Liu Bei Shu Chen playing as!" Sun Shang Xiang shouted angrily.
"This is me as the principal of Dong Han High. Everyone knows the real Dong Zhuo is a mean badass with a brain, unlike a certain traitor," Dong Zhuo smirked.
"At least, I'm a teen and can be more appreciate as Xiao Qiao's boyfriend. I'm not even the villain either," Cao Cao showed the photo of the actor who plays him in the show.
"This series is so hilarious and cool. Diao Chan, you conflict yourself with two guys. Lu Bu and Guan Yu , here's their pictures," Xiao Qiao give Guan Yu the photo of the actor playing his role and lay the Lu Bu one on the table.
"I'm a pretty boy played by George Hu and as usual, leader of the tiger generals," Guan Yu smiled.
"Yeah, but at least in this series, you're not a fraud," Lu Meng glared at his rival.
"Hey hey, don't call brother a fraud!" Zhang Fei jumped putting his pike near Lu Meng's throat.
"You two are happily together in the drama called K.O. 3anguo," Xiao Qiao revealed.
"K. O. 3anguo? So it's three kingdoms meet modern pop idol," Zhou Yu gave Shang Xiang's photo back to her.
"I got the best actress who did the music!" Sun Shang Xiang giggled.
"Lu Bu looks dull as usual and poor him for losing his girl to Guan Yu, hahaha," Cao Cao burns the Lu Bu photo.
"Lu Bu a complete loser," Zhang Fei scoffed.
"But I feel bad for Lu Bu, he's sweet, calm, and sensitive," Xiao Qiao frowned.
"Sweet, calm, and sensitive? I must be watching the wrong Three Kingdoms drama, hahaha," Cao Cao laughed so hard.
At the other room….
Lu Bu and Zhao Yun are watching the meeting on the HDTV. Lu Bu is enrage of the portrayal of him being weak minded and not man up, while Zhao Yun is shaking his whole nervous body.
"They made me a weak, pathetic loser with low self esteem! The real Lu Bu would strangle that scum from stealing my Diao Chan and should have been a popular jock!" Lu Bu madden with insulation.
Chen Gong and Gao Shun tries to retrain their lord, but his rage is too terrifying. He watches as Guan Yu joked about being the better boyfriend of Diao Chan because he's social than an ignorant brute.
"Please Lu Bu, the pairing in that TV series was meant to be a comedic parody. Diao Chan in reality is still loyalty to only you," Chen Gong said.
"Yes, the advisor is right. You've know her longer in Bing zhou and Guan Yu is a stranger to her. Let's not forget, she was killed by him in folklores," Gao Shun added.
Zhao Yun didn't pay attention to the commotion. He continues to watch Xiao Qiao on the HDTV, terrified of that smile she has. He knows the real reason behind this meeting.
"Xiao Qiao in a great mood, General," Deng Zhi said.
"……" Zhao Yun shivered like a coward.
Back in the meeting room…
"So Guan Yu and Diao Chan became a couple in the series and I'm having a thing for you," Cao Cao smiled.
"Actually, I'm having a thing for someone other than you and Zhouie," Xiao Qiao then showed everyone the final photo.
"This is…." Liu Bei gasped.
"No doubt, it's little brother. Haha, he's wearing a head rag too!" Zhang Fei cheered.
"Man, this is not fair! I look ugly, but Zhao Yun looks badass," Gan Ning whined.
"That's just like him, handsome, mysterious, and magnificent human being next to myself included," Cao Cao glorified.
"Yeah yeah, we're all cooler than him and you," Ma Chao glared at Cao Cao.
"The actor playing him looks American than full blooded Chinese…." Zhou Yu scanned at the photo suspiciously.
"A Chinese American," Sun Ce simply putted it.
"But this show based in Taiwan, what gives?" Lu Meng gave the two a puzzled look.
"All east asian and asian americans represents the three kingdoms," Cao Cao stated.
"Hm, I would look cooler if I'm in that show…." Cao Pi muttered.
"And the best of all, Zhao Yun is my new love! We're a couple!" Xiao Qiao happily blushed.
Everyone shot a jaw dropping gaze.
"No way, you and Zhao Yun…?" Sun Shang Xiang blinked.
"Xiao, Zhao Yun isn't the type of guy you would fall in love with lightly," Da Qiao blinked the same expression as her sister in law.
"No, but he resembles to Zhou Yu in a way…." Xiao Qiao sighed.
"I object, Zilong may be quiet and handsome, but he lacks influence compare to Gongji. To see you fall in love with a mere bodyguard of Liu Bei's is absurd," Lu Meng denied.
"Bodyguard, since when did I position him in a lowly post?" Liu Bei felt ridiculed on his best friend being insulted.
"I still think he's a bodyguard, nothing compare to my talents," Lu Meng said.
"Hell you may be a substitute bodyguard before you became Zhou Yu's replacement," Zhang Fei mocked.
"Shut up, I never thought of replacing Zhou Yu. No one in Wu can!" Lu Meng told back.
"Xiao, it's possible he knows of your father, but he never met him nor you. So, why fall in love with him?" Zhou Yu questioned.
"She should fall in love with me. That makes the most sense," Cao Cao opinionated.
At the other room….
"I can't…I can't take this….! We're just friends…she's too hyper for me and enslave me with her ridiculous methods of getting my powers back in that TV series!" Zhao Yun whined.
"You supposedly been paired with someone like her as your wife," Deng Zhi said.
"But, my wife was never recorded; my sons were never explained as adaptation to me since the Lady Fan incident! Argh, I blame our historian for everything that is befallen my reputation now," Zhao Yun became furious and embarrassed at the same time.
"Well, you've been imitated with 4 women in your legend," Deng Zhi returned his vision towards the HDTV watching Xiao Qiao squeaking.
"Damn it, why didn't our historian just state that Tong and Guang were adopted by me as sons of the former father who governed Gui Yang!? My relationship with Xiao Qiao makes it look like I married an idiot. No, Xiao Qiao is not an idiot, she's just….just….too….." Zhao Yun can't find a better word than clumsy.
"Well, Chen Shou been studying at the time everyone still won't forget Kongming's awesomeness and Jiang Wei losing battles while Liu Chan became moronic. It's difficult for him to get a clarification of Zilong's bio when Kongming's have a greater impact on the majority of china back then, plus he had to prove Liu Bei's motivation to the existence of ShuHan from Jin scholars…" Deng Zhi explained.
"That's enough, every time we reference Zilong's taste in women and our historian; it's only making things worse for him…and me for still not speaking social yet," Wei Yan patted Zilong on the shoulder.
"If Zhao Yun can be paired with Xiao Qiao, then he can also be paired with Sailormoon Usagi Tsukino," Zhang Yi mentioned.
"No, not her!!!" Zhao Yun screamed in horror.
"What's wrong with having Sailormoon as your girlfriend?" Deng Zhi wondered.
"Well…I think I'm reading too much doujinshi and hot anime and game chicks," Wei Yan imagined.
"You're imagining things again, Wenchang…" Zhang Yi shrugged.
"Please, make it stop!" Zhao Yun whimpered.
"We of The Lonely Dragons, the true friends of Zilong have to protect him from his greatest fear, yaoi fangirls. And Xiao Qiao likes pretty boys…." Deng Zhi sighed.
At the meeting room….
"How come I'm not in the TV show?" Zhen Ji said fumed.
"It's better to not be, my dear. Just another annoying spoof of the real Three Kingdoms with modernization," Cao Pi shook his head uninterested.
"Hey, it's popular and got a second season! You're just upset that you'll be in diapers in this show," Xiao Qiao retorted.
"Hahahah, Cao Pi in diapers! I love to see that!" Sun Ce laughed.
"Ugh, I'm done with this meddlesome topic. Come on, Zhen, we're leaving," Cao Pi grumbled.
"No, I'm staying until someone tells me why I'm not even in the show," Zhen Ji refused.
"Because you're….not popular in general unless they put Cao Zhi in it," Sun Shang Xiang sticks her tongue ridiculing Zhen Ji.
"It doesn't have to be Cao Zhi to allow me in the TV drama, you twit! Gosh, I'm tired of having anything to do with the Cao family besides my friggin son and daughter!" Zhen Ji infuriated.
"Sheesh, if anything, we should be talking about something interesting and relevant…." Cao Pi waved his hand and left the room.
"I'm glad he left because he doesn't want to know who plays baby Cao Pi in the show," Ma Chao teased.
"Baby Cao Pi! LOL!" Sun Ce laughed harder.
"Why did they make me ugly, argh!" Gan Ning still upset at the photo.
"Zhao Yun and I are going to be the best couple in the show!" Xiao Qiao danced around the room joyfully.
"…….." Zhou Yu became speechless.
At the other room…..
"Nooo…nooo…NOOOOAAAAAAOOO!!!" Zhao Yun jumped and race outside the hall screaming.
"My lord….!" Deng Zhi and the rest of the gang watch as their leader has left the building.
Xiao Qiao later comes out the hall and did a peace sign pose.
The End