Open For Discussion
Authors notes: I'm looking at writing a sequel to this story, but I'm not sure when I'll get around to it. So, keep your eyes open, folks!
I brush back my blond hair and sigh. I'm tired. Too many missions, too fast.
As a child I was told not to cross the street without looking both ways. I was asked never to lie, cheat, or steal under any circumstances. When caught with my hand in the cookie jar, I was struck repeatedly until vowing never to do it again.
I never listened. When it came to breaking the rules I was a natural. So when I saw Janet Fraiser in her regulation skirt and long, white coat, I knew I would have to break so many more.
I stand in her kitchen, watching her bend at the waist, searching in the cabinets for a pie pan. I place my hand on her shoulder.
"We could just skip dessert tonight. I really don't mind."
Janet's expression is heartbreaking.
"It's your favorite, Sam. I make it for you every time we have a girl's night."
"And I love it! But pie isn't the only way to my heart. I like cake, too."
I smile and her expression changes. Her eyes are aglow and my good humor has set her mind at ease.
These are the moments I live for.
"Hey-ya, Sam."
Janet's divine voice wakes me from my trance.
"Hey, Janet!"
"You look busy. I can come back later if you are."
"Oh no! 5 hours staring at a computer screen covered with symbols I can't translate is no longer my idea of fun……for today."
She giggles and the arms that were behind her back are now stretched towards me.
"What's this?" My eyes are bright and her smile is immeasurable.
"Well, since Cassandra left my good pie pan at Jack's, I had to get a new one. What better way to break in a new pan than by baking my best friend her favorite treat."
She lays the pie in front of my hungry body. My mouth waters at the site of her perfect apple pie. It's not the most elaborate pie, but it was my mother's specialty. I never thought I would be able to eat another pie for the rest of my life until I met Janet. She is an unbelievable baker and an even more unbelievable cook. I always look forward to a nice movie, warm seat, and delicious hot meal when we have a girl's night.
She keeps me grounded when I feel I might float away.
I knock on her red, front door. She answers and I feel my jaw drop. I don't think she noticed. Her hair is damp, as are her clothes, clinging to her curves, leaving nothing to the imagination.
She must have just gotten out of the shower and dressed quickly to answer the door.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Janet. I guess I caught you at a bad time."
"No, no, it's fine! Come on in."
I walk past her scantily clad frame and watch her calf muscles flex as she closes the door.
She grins at the object in my hand.
"So, what brings you to my humble home this evening, Captain Carter?"
I stretch my arm towards her.
"Just thought I would return your new pie pan before you gave up looking for it and bought another one."
She laughs at my sudden quip and walks the pan to the kitchen.
I follow closely behind her. The closer I stand, the deeper her scent fills my lungs. I find her jasmine shampoo and cherry blossom body-wash irresistible.
"I just figured if you didn't bring it back I would just stop baking forever. No biggie."
"Are you purposely trying to make me cry? Because…I will."
She runs her hands down my arms.
"I wouldn't dream of doing such a terrible thing."
I smile shyly and blush. It must have been noticeable, at least enough for her to do the same. She slid her hands the rest of the way down my arms and held my hands.
"Would you like something to eat? I'm sure you haven't had dinner. Always cooped-up in that lab of yours. Have a seat. You like lasagna, right?"
I sit on the welcoming sofa.
"Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks."
I sit comfortably and let my thoughts wander to Janet's breasts. They are quite large for a woman of her size. I'm definitely not complaining.
The microwave dings. I can smell her homemade sauce before she walks into the room.
I eat like it's going out of style. We have a long conversation about the pros and cons of having children and now it's time to leave. She walks me to the door.
"Well, be careful, wear your helmet, obey the speed limit and stop signs, and DO NOT take your hands off of the handlebars for any reason."
"Yes, Mooommm."
She is beaming. I am smitten.
"Well, tell Cassie I stopped by and that I love her."
"I will. Have a good night, Sam."
"You too."
I lean in to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She leans in to do the same, but not in that order. She purses her lips and heads toward my cheek. I turn my head, not realizing that her eyes are closed and her lips have a predetermined course.
Our lips meet. My eyes never close and hers never open.
We stand at the door and let our accidental kiss linger. My heart thumps loudly in my ears.
She seems content as she opens her eyes an slowly pulls away from my moist lips.
I miss the softness already.
She smiles and opens the door, moving a little so I can pass.
"I'll see you in the morning, Sam. Good night."
Her smile remains as she closes the door.
I stand on her front porch for a few moments. Unsure of what just happened.
I no longer feel grounded.
It's been almost 2 months now and neither of us has said a word about what happened that night. Everything is the same as it was before, with a few exceptions, and not an ounce of awkwardness is present.
We share a lot of cute glances during my pre and post-mission physicals.
She goes out of her way to touch my arm, hand, face, or thigh, and I do the same.
She lays her head on my shoulder when we are alone in my lab. We talk about how hellish our day has been. I rub her arm to comfort her.
I brush the hair out of her face as she looks into the microscope. She smiles with appreciation….and something more.
I know she felt something as we kissed that night. I know I felt something, but I felt something the moment we met.
She'll be here soon for a quick conversation and a bite of lunch. We've started eating in the lab to avoid unwanted conversations with fellow officers in the commissary. I enjoy the intimacy that is involved in eating alone together. She is all I can see and, I hope, I am all she can see as well.
I hear a knock at the door. I spin in my chair and pick up my cell phone. Better that I look busy rather than lazy. She walks in with a couple of sandwiches and two bowls of Jell-O. I turn to her and smile with my ear to the silent phone.
"….yeah. I love sushi." I pause for dramatic effect. What do I do now? I laugh loudly. "That sounds fantastic, Tom! I'll see you then." I close my phone. Great. Maybe she wont ask who I was talking to or what I was talking about.
She sets the food on my desk and pulls up a chair.
"Who was that you were talking to? Sounded like you were having a grand ole time."
She smiles widely.
What?! Why did she have to ask that?! I'm not ready to answer. Give me a minute.
I take a quick bite of my sandwich and chew slowly, motioning to her that I would tell her when I finished chewing.
Now I have some time. So, what am I going to tell her……hmm……a cousin……an old friend……no! I've got it!
Now may be my only chance to test the waters and see if she really feels anything for me. Jealousy is the best love detector.
I swallow.
"Oh, he's just some guy. He asked me out on a date this Friday night."
Her eyebrows slightly furrowed and her smile faded a bit. This doesn't really tell me anything.
"Hmm. Well, he sounds hilarious. Do you like him?"
Here it is. This is my chance.
"Yeah, I do. He's sweet. Smart, funny, loves animals, a total bookworm, but very athletic. He's a tall drink of water, Janet."
I can see the pain written on her face. I feel terrible. She smiles weakly.
"Oh. He sounds fantastic."
….and then she says it….
"I'm really happy for you, Sam. You deserve a man who can truly make you happy."
What have I done?! She looks so fragile. I'm afraid to touch her, as it appears she might break.
"Actually…I think I might cancel."
She looks over quickly.
"What? Why?"
"He's………just……not really what I'm looking for."
"I thought you said you really liked him."
"I do, but not in that way. He's a great guy and he could potentially be an even greater friend, but I don't think I'm interested in him romantically."
Much of the glow she had when she walked into my lab has returned. She lets out a relieved sigh and turns to me.
"I have to admit, Sam, I'm a little relieved. I know that sounds weird. I just had this sudden feeling of abandonment. Like, he was stealing you away from me. How silly is that?"
Her cheeks are terribly flushed and tears have formed in her beautiful, brown eyes.
"It's not silly at all. I think I would feel the same way. No, I'm positive I would feel the same way."
She smiles. I smile back and squeeze her hand.
"It's just that you mean so much to me, Sam, and I don't want anyone to take you away from me. I get so scared when you go off world. I don't know what I'd do if you didn't walk back through that gate."
Tears begin to fall from her eyes and run down her cheeks.
"It's ok, Janet. I'm not ever going to leave you."
I pull her into a tight hug. She buries her weeping face into my neck.
I stroke her hair and a tear runs down my cheek.
"Janet, I can't imagine what my life would be like without you. I don't even want to try to imagine. You've made me a better person. You're my best friend."
Her sobs have become louder. She's shaking now. I hold her tighter. Nearly 10 minutes have passed and her sobs can no longer be heard. My own eyes have dried as well. Now, we are just enjoying the closeness. She sniffles.
"Sam?"
I look down at her. Her eyes are closed.
"Yeah?"
She squeezes me tighter.
"You mean more to me than I ever thought you would. When we met, I thought you would be an arrogant, brainy, better-than-everyone, know-it-all, and we wouldn't get along."
I smile.
"That's comforting."
She laughs faintly.
"I found out quickly that you were only one of those things: brainy. I never thought someone with as big of a nerdy side as you could be so sexy."
"Huh! Me? Sexy? I think maybe you'd had a few too many of your own prescriptions, Doc."
She laughs and we separate.
"I mean it, Sam. You don't give yourself enough credit. You're the most beautiful person I have ever known."
I smile and put my head down. I don't know what to say. She gently and slowly brushes the hair out of my eyes.
"Cassie's staying with Jack tonight. I would really like it if you would have dinner with me. I'll even make some apple pie for dessert."
She smiles wildly and I can't help but do the same.
"I would love to."
I've been struck dumb once when Janet opened the door, but this is different. Not only did my jaw just hit the porch, but my heart did as well.
Her hair is down and curled at the ends.
Her dress is a low-cut wrap that makes her chest look quite robust. It falls gently over her profound hips and sways hypnotically as she walks.
Her heels are high and we are almost the same height. These are the heels she wore with Daniel. These are the heels she wears when she has a plan.
She opens the bottle of wine I brought and pours us both a glass. It tastes incredible, but not as incredible as she looks.
We sit close to each other at the table and finish our meal. She pours me my 3rd glass of wine.
The faster I drink, the easier this will be. But maybe I don't want it to be easy. I want to start something with Janet, but do I want to start it like this? Inebriated? I'm scared. I've never done this before and I don't want to mess it up.
She puts on the same slow music we listen to after every girl's night meal. I like it, but I've never danced to it. I stand and extend my hand to her.
I ask shyly, "Would you like to dance with me, Janet?"
She takes my hand without hesitation.
"I really would, Samantha."
This is the first time she hasn't just called me Sam. That is the sexiest thing I've ever heard.
She kicks off her heels.
I pull her close to me and settle my hand on the middle of her back.
She lays her head against my chest and hums the melody. She has a beautiful voice.
I slide my hand down slowly to the small of her back, as we move side to side with the beat. She moans faintly and pulls me closer.
Now I know she feels the same way. I can't believe she feels the same way.
I smile and I know she can feel my heart racing.
She moves her head up to my shoulder and I can feel her breath on my ear.
She whispers huskily, "You are so beautiful, Samantha. I could just eat you up."
I'm beginning to sweat. Her breath is on my neck now.
She moans softly again and her breath is hot against my collarbone. She is so close to me now.
I move my hand a little lower. It's almost resting on one of her flawless cheeks. My heart is beating even faster now.
I feel something soft on my neck. It's hot, but soft.
Her lips are on me. I'm lost. I pull her closer to me. Our hips are almost one. My entire body is burning.
She pulls back slightly and cups my face. She leans in closer and leisurely pulls my lips to hers.
We move our mouths together. Her lips are warm and soft and bitter with wine.
She cradles the back of my head and deepens the kiss. My tongue moves methodically, exploring what I thought could never be explored.
This feels so natural, but I'm nervous. I want to go further. I want to see and take all of her.
We pull apart and she looks up at me.
"I…" She hesitates. "I love you, Sam."
I breathe deeply.
"I love you too, Janet. I always I have."
We embrace.
"I want to be with you, Sam. I want to wake up with you."
She caresses my cheek.
"…but I don't think it should be tonight. Not like this."
Sweet relief. I was so scared we wouldn't have stopped ourselves.
"I agree. I want nothing more than to wake up with you. Maybe when Cassie isn't due home in the morning."
We share a smile and make our promises.
When the time does come and she is in my arms again, I will be ready.