Please forgive me when I turn out the lights

Watch this haunted day turn into a wasted night

So cut me up

Throw me out

Cause I'm reckless

I'm a reckless god damn son of a bitch

It was late when I finally trudged into my apartment after a long day of crisis averting. It was one hell of a day. Once again I had to help the simple minded sheriff and friends save the town from the latest Eureka disaster. For a town full of geniuses it was amazing that no one could fix their own freaking problems and left it up to only six or seven people to actually think up solutions to these damn things.

Of course, it was a miracle I wasn't locked up by the tough head of security before the crisis was averted. Instead she had let me join in on the discussion, asking me about the more complicated science stuff and about the "what-ifs" no one else had probably thought of, like "what if one of these mutated dogs bit us, would it affect us besides bodily harm?" They really were practical questions and for some reason I hadn't really minded at all. Then again, I also had to walk into a room full of said genetically mutated dogs to get to the original formula that would eventually turn them back into the cuddly house pets they were. As I sat in my living room, cleaning the various cuts I had received for my troubles, I grinned at the memory.

Of course, as soon as I was clear of the dogs and had helped with a cure my night felt totally wasted when Lupo, after making sure I wasn't fatally wounded, kicked me out of her office and the building with the excuse "you're injured, and we have a solution, go home and clean yourself up Donovan." So what if I was a little reckless? So what if I found it fun to dive head long into danger? The least Lupo could do was say thank you, or good job. Maybe she could even stand to give me a little reward. A smirk spread across my face as I thought about that. Yeah, a reward sounded nice. Like not arresting me for a week, or maybe something nicer like a kiss. A kiss like the one in the sheriff's office weeks ago, the one we silently chose to never talk about again. My body heated up at the memory of the kiss. The kiss that didn't feel like a first kiss, a kiss that promised of so many other things. Shaking myself out of those thoughts I decided that right now might be a good time to go to bed, lest I started thinking any more about Lupo…Jo, and myself alone together any more. Turning off the lights I lay down for another night of steamy dreams centered around a sexy woman who could probably kill me with her thumbs.

I'm reckless

So reckless

God save me

From this madness

I'm reckless

So reckless

God save me

From this madness

It was madness the way Donovan (I had to think of him as Donovan, someone different, someone other than my Zane) dived head long into danger every time there was a crisis. Back in the old timeline I prayed every night as I curled up in bed with my Zane that we would survive the next Eureka disaster, that I wouldn't lose him. I figured that since we weren't together in this timeline it would somehow be easier, but it wasn't. The distance between us just seemed to make it harder. After someone came up with a solution I couldn't walk over to him as he prepared to face another dangerous situation and kiss him. I couldn't make him promise to come back to me safe and sound. After the crisis was averted we wouldn't go off to have a private celebration. I wouldn't be able to feel his warm body next to mine in bed, be assured that he was alive and breathing next to me as we slept. He wasn't there to help with the nightmares when I awoke in a cold sweat in the middle of the night. God help me through this. God save me from this new world and all its madness.

I'm walking on broken glass

From the wreckage of my past

I'm locked up in a cage

Cause I'm a prisoner of my ways

So cut me up

Throw me out

Cause I'm reckless

I'm a reckless god damn son of a bitch

I started pacing in my cell at GD, broken glass crunching under my feet, waiting for her to show up and demand to know what just happened. Half the time it was my own damn fault for ending up in here anyway. Old habits die hard and all…and those monkeys were just having a good time. Any time one Josephina Lupo would walk through that door looking as perfect as ever in that power suit that didn't do her body justice and accuse me before asking what the hell happened. Instead I got a frantic looking Jo running into the room, her hair loose for once and her eyes wide with something close to panic.

"Are you alright?" she demanded. Well that was new. She never asked if I was alright, but then again, this wasn't the Lupo I was used to.

"I'm fine. You guys know what caused the quake?" I asked as she opened the door and let me out. She didn't even suspect me of anything. I didn't do anything but that never stopped her. As we were walking down the halls of GD, discussing the latest disaster, I took my usual chance to study her. Jo was in her standard business suit, but the jacket was gone and her clothes were torn and dirty. It looked as if she had had to dig through some rubble. As she was filling me in on what Deacon, Fargo, and Carter knew she kept tucking her hair behind her ears, probably wishing to keep it out of her face.

"Zane, c'mon, stay focused. Where is the epicenter of the quake? I know you could calculate it considering it hit a seven on the Richter scale at GD and only a four point five in town," she chided. Damn, she had asked me a question and I missed it. I was too caught up in studying her like I always was. Well, ever since she had changed. Quickly doing the math in my head I gave her the answer she wanted.

"Probably halfway up in the hills past GD. Near that campsite you like," I explained. Before she could ask anything else Carter came running up to us, well, as fast as he could through the rubble of the building anyway.

"Good, Zane's not dead. We need you guys right now," he said by way of greeting. Oh wonderful, I could see how this day was going to go. The sheriff was in one of his serious modes where he actually tried using the complicated science terms that he had only a vague notion of.

"Carter, what did you find out from Dr. Kelly?" Jo demanded. Kelly? The geophysicist? Well that explains all the earthquakes that've been happening.

"Dr. Kelly went a little off his rocker. The guy thinks that quakes are good for the earth and made this thing to generate them…I can't explain it. The point is, which one of you feels like going cliff diving?" Carter asked, a little smile on his face. Cliff diving? Well, there was a first time for everything. I put on my customary smirk.

"Sounds cool. What do I get to do this time?" I asked.

I'm reckless

So reckless

God save me

From this madness

I'm reckless

So reckless

God save me

From this madness

I can't believe this. Stupid Dr. Kelly just had to think that earthquakes were good for the planet and now I was standing at my favorite campsite looking down into a two hundred foot cave along with Carter, Deacon and Zane. The crazy scientist's machine caused a collapse and now the quake generator was down there, still happily running.

"You sure about this Jo?" Carter asked again. I rolled my eyes and adjusted the climbing harness again.

"Carter, I've done cave diving a million times before. I just dive down, turn off the machine or shoot it and climb back up, no big deal," I sighed. This would be so much easier if Zane wasn't staring so much. Yes, I was wearing climbing gear which meant my clothes clung to my body, but seriously, it wasn't anything he hadn't ogled at before. At one time he had actually been privy to seeing me in much less. But that was another time and I have to forget about it now. This wasn't my Zane, this was Donovan, a troublemaker with commitment issues.

"You sure you don't want anyone to go down with you?" Cater asked again. I rolled my eyes and gave him a look that said "if you ask again I'll have to hurt you."

"Carter, I'm the only one who's done cave diving before. I can handle it. I don't want to have to watch your back or anyone else's while I'm down there. Besides, if anything does happen, like I get stuck down there, I'll just yell up for some help if the cell phones don't work," I explained with a grin. All three of their faces were priceless. Carter looked annoyed at my nonchalance, Henry looked amused, and Zane's face drained of all color. Well, that was a different reaction than I was expecting but I would have to think about that later. Without another word I stepped toward the edge and looked down. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. Finally this was something fun that I could do and save the town while I was at it. With one last glance back, I waved at the group of men and jumped off the edge.

Thank god I've got a woman

With my name across her heart

Loving me aint easy

Loving me is hard

I'm sorry about the madness

But that's the way it's got to be

Cause it takes a crazy woman

To love a reckless man like me

It felt like forever after Jo jumped down into that cave. Me, Deacon and Carter all stood at the edge and watched, waiting to see a parachute open up so that we would know Jo didn't just jump to her death. Every second that passed made me more nervous. What if something was wrong with the chute? What if she hit the side of the cave? What if there was another massive quake and she got buried in the rubble? My mind was temporarily set at ease when I saw the bright colored fabric of Jo's parachute open and glide somewhat safely down into darkness. So for now, as far as anyone knew, Jo was safe and looking for that havoc causing experiment.

I just couldn't stop thinking of the things that could go wrong, my ever imaginative and constantly thinking mind going through all the potential disasters that could befall Jo Lupo. Did she seriously have to go down there by herself? What if there was another quake before she got to the machine? What if she couldn't shut it off? I should have gone with her. I could have figured out how to shut it down in a pinch. Before my thoughts wandered too far into the "what-ifs" I heard probably the sweetest sound in the world.

"Guys, I could use some help down here!" Jo's voice echoed up to us from the darkness.

"You shut it down?" Carter asked even as he was heading for Henry's truck with the tow line.

"Yeah and I didn't even have to shoot it!" she called back. It could've been just me imagining it or possibly the echo, but I swear she sounded disappointed about that. Deacon and Carter finally got his truck close enough to the edge of the cavern to lower the tow cable far enough to reach Jo so we could haul her up. In a few minutes I would get to see that brilliant smile she always wore when she helped avert a crisis through her own set of unique skills. This town may be full of geniuses but no one here could do what she did…correction, does every day. As Deacon and Carter worked the tow cable I stood at the edge of the pit, watching as Jo came into view, hanging from the end of the tow line.

"Well that was fun. I haven't gone cave diving in years," she laughed when she spotted me standing at the edge, watching her.

"Glad you had fun risking life and limb Jojo," I grumbled. Sure, I liked a good adrenaline rush but cave diving while earthquakes were spontaneously happening was drawing the line. At my sarcasm Jo only smiled and stretched out a hand, silently asking for some help up. That right there was proof that she was different, but not in a bad way. With a smirk I leaned down and grabbed her hand, hauling her up and onto solid ground. Too bad for her the tow wire was still cranking and she got yanked forward, into me and we fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs before the sheriff helpfully turned the thing off.

"Nice going Carter," I muttered, glancing back at him. The guy had a smile on his face that made me think he might've done that on purpose. Jo would probably have spoken up too, but as I looked back at her as she straddled my hips, I found she was busy trying to untangle one of her climbing hooks from my belt loop.

"Why Jo, if you wanted to get my pants off all you had to do was ask," I joked. She scowled at me for a minute before pulling a knife from somewhere and proceeded to cut through my belt loop and free herself from me.

"Get over yourself Zane," she mumbled, standing as if she couldn't get away from me fast enough. Frowning, I got to my feet. I used to think Jo and I had a sort of routine when dealing with each other. I would pull a prank, she would arrest me, we'd snark at each other until a crisis hit, she would grudgingly let me out to save the day, and we'd flirt before going back to the insults. Ever since Founder's Day, the routine had ended and a sort of new one began. She was more cautious around me, avoiding me when she didn't need help with a crisis. I hadn't been in jail in months (with the one exception of the DED device theft). Our flirting became a little more serious, hell, she had kissed me! Well, I kissed her and she responded, but never mind the semantics. After we had done our thing and saved the town she would go back to avoidance mode. I was thoroughly sick of it.

"Jo, we need to talk," I told her, grabbing her arm. She stopped mid stride, turning to glare at my hand on her arm before her wary gaze rose to look at my face.

"You have three seconds to get your hand off my arm before I detach it from your wrist," she warned. I smirked, couldn't help it, this was the Jo Lupo I was used to dealing with. Of course, I also immediately removed my hand, not wanting to stretch whatever good luck I seemed to be having with Jo. Before either of us could say anything else Henry interrupted.

"Uh oh, guys, bad news!" Jo and I turned to Deacon as he started announcing the bad news.

"What's going?" Carter asked, looking over his friend's shoulder at the data pad.

"Due to Dr. Kelly's machine, the earthquakes might last a bit. It's like ripples in a pond when you drop a stone. Dr. Kelly's machine was like the person dropping the stone, we stopped the person but the ripples are still going," he explained in simple terms, probably so the Sheriff would understand.

"Great, so we're going to have a couple more quakes?" Carter groaned. As if in answer the ground began rumbling right before the real shaking began.

"Jo, Zane, get down!" Deacon yelled. I turned just in time to see trees coming down and to dive out of the way of a falling tree, taking Jo down with me. We tumbled and rolled a bit, landing next to her car. I didn't dare move from where I was, my body covering hers, my head tuck down, buried in the crook of her neck. It was the first time I was close enough to Lupo to realize that she smelled like lily of the valley, gunpowder, and just Jo. God she smelled good. Maybe her skin tasted as sweet as it looked? I was so tempted to just give it a quick lick, to satisfy my own curiosity when the shaking stopped and I no longer had an excuse to stay where I was. Grudgingly I rolled off Lupo. Glancing at her out of the corner of my eye to see if she was going to taze me I was alarmed to see she wasn't moving at all.

"Henry! Carter!" I shouted, panicking. Scrabbling into a sitting position I quickly checked Jo's pulse, looking for injuries. There was a nasty cut across her forehead above her left eye but she was otherwise unharmed.

"We should get her to GD infirmary, Zane, you drive her car down," Carter ordered, already picking up Jo's limp form. I felt shaky as I climbed into her car, surprised Carter tucked her into the passenger seat.

"Her car's faster than Henry's truck and we don't have my jeep. Get going, I'll call ahead so you'll have the all clear," he told me before shutting the door. I didn't waste time pondering over the good sheriff's intentions as I sped down the street, careful on the curves so Lupo wouldn't get thrown every which was. In the back of my mind, as I focused on the road, I really genuinely hoped she was going to be fine. Jo Lupo wouldn't, couldn't be brought down by a simple bump to the head. She would be fine. This crazy woman from another universe who possibly loved me (I barely dared to think that…or hope) would be just fine and we would be back to our casual and not so innocent flirting in no time.

I'm reckless

So reckless

God save me

From this madness

I'm reckless

So reckless

God save me

From this madness

I'm reckless

So reckless

God save me

Save me from this madness

I'm reckless

So reckless

God save me

I hated waking up in the infirmary. The slow, rhythmic beating of the heart monitor sounded loud to me. Blinking open my eyes, I was momentarily blinded before my eyes adjusted.

"Hey sleepy head, how are you feeling?" an unmistakable voice asked, sounding amused. Turning, I spotted Zane sitting next to my bed, looking for all the world like a nervous wreck.

"Hey, what happened?" I asked voice raspy from my dry throat. I hated when that happened, the medicine they always gave me made my throat dry.

"You got a good bump on the head when the last earthquake hit. You were only out a couple of hours and Blake said you should be fine," he explained, handing me a water bottle.

"Thanks," I mumbled. If this were the old timeline things wouldn't be so awkward. I would smile, he would smile back before leaning forward and kissing me, and then we would go back to his place once Allison cleared me. In this timeline he looked awkward and unsure, shifting nervously as we sat quietly. Thankfully Allison came by to break up the silence.

"Hey Jo, how are you feeling?" she asked, checking my vitals before prodding gently at my throbbing head injury.

"Just fine, am I free to go?" I asked. I really didn't like being stuck in the infirmary, especially with an uncertain Zane. If I could just get out of here I could go home, curl up with a drink and spend the rest of the night watching reality TV, not thinking about what I would be doing instead if I were still with him.

"Jo, you have a serious concussion and it's possible for you to fall asleep and slip into a coma. Someone needs to keep an eye on you for the next twenty four to forty eight hours to make sure that doesn't happen. Also, I don't want you trying to do too much. For the next two days I'm putting you on restricted duty," she informed me. I sighed, knowing it was useless to argue with her. After all she was a mom and a doctor, the combination made her as stubborn as a special ops soldier under torture.

"Fine, I'll head to Carter's," I grumbled. Of course, Carter had to come in just in time to hear my comment.

"No can do Jo. S.A.R.A.H is offline for maintenance and I'm heading to Allison's for the night. Sorry Jo," he told me. The slight smirk on his face made it clear how sorry he was. I gave him a withering glare.

"Sorry my ass, what am I supposed to do now?" I complained.

"Zane, you look after Jo. Now both of you get out of here before I have to sign you in for overnight observation Lupo," Allison commanded, the little quirk of her lips letting me know she was partially joking about the overnight stay. But I couldn't be sure so I got out of there like a bat out of hell, dragging Zane with me. We were silent the entire time as he drove me home. I had let him because I was still a little dizzy. The last thing I needed was to be in a car accident.

"Thanks for driving me home Zane. You don't have to stay though, I'll be fine," I told him when he parked my car in the driveway of my fairly new home.

"Nah, I don't mind. Besides, I'd hate to see what Blake will do to me if she finds out I didn't follow orders," he said, a smirk spreading across his face. I rolled my eyes but allowed him to follow me into my house. Now this was going to be awkward. How long was he going to stay? Was he going to try to start up the conversation he had wanted to have earlier?

"So Jojo," he started, drawing out the words, "I pretty much figured everything out. You want to tell me exactly what it was like in the other timeline?" he asked. I could feel panic rising in my gut and I was sure I was going to hyperventilate. He knew…and he was blunt about it. I so wanted to deny everything, just go on ignoring him, but another part of me wanted to tell him everything and then drag him to my bedroom…not necessarily in that order.

"Zane…" I started, turning to face him, not exactly sure what I was going to say.

"Just so you know I didn't figure it all out myself. Carter and Blake filled in some missing pieces," he interrupted. He had a scrutinizing look, gauging my reaction to this bit of information. Those little traitors. Were they so desperate to see me with someone that they were willing to put their faith in a Zane that we weren't sure we could trust? Well, the damage was done. There was nothing I could do.

"Fine, we were together for two years. We had our ups and downs but we always ended up working through them, usually mid crisis," I told him with an amused look before continuing, "It was on Founder's Day when you proposed to me in the jail cell. I froze, you ran out. Next thing I knew I was in 1947. We got back, Trevor Grant in tow, and everything important to me here was different. We never dated, I had a different job. The promotion is nice, but I just missed you so much," my voice cracked a little at the end. I dared to look up to see how he was reacting and his expression was the last straw. At the look of sympathy on his face I let out one strangled sob before the floodgates opened and I started crying. I never cried but it was just too much. Here he was, in my home, with such a familiar expression. It was a face I knew so well, yet now it was the face of a stranger. As I sat, curled up on my couch, crying I felt Zane move closer, sitting next to me, bundling me into his arms comfortingly. Maybe, just for now, I could pretend he was mine, that nothing had changed, and that the ring I had thrown at him weeks ago was on my finger. Yeah, just for now, I could pretend.

Josephina Lupo was crying. I had never known her to cry, not in the two and a half years I knew her. I stood there awkwardly for a minute before giving in to my urge. I went over and gathered her up in my arms, this small, fragile woman, and just let her cry. I could never imagine how difficult this new life must be for her. In hindsight, with the new information Jo had just given me, it must have been painful to watch as I went out with different women, and then Zoe for that short time. I winced, remembering Zoe. Telling her I was only interested being friends had been uncomfortable but she handled it well. I think she suspected I had more than a casual curiosity in the head of GD security. I knew I would've had to straighten things out soon, but after that kiss with Jo, I knew I had to handle the situation ASAP. It must've been torture for to have me kiss her, and treat it like an experiment, then for me to go off with Zoe and act like everything was fine. I held Jo a little tighter. It didn't matter what I did in the past, I should focus on how to make it better now. Minutes passed as we sat there on her couch in her darkened house, her sobbing quieting until her tears were reduced to just a few hiccups.

"Jojo, c'mon Jojo, look at me. Tell me what you're thinking?" I requested, nudging her face up so I could look at her gorgeous eyes. She gulped before taking a deep breath.

"I want to know how you feel about this," she murmured, so quietly I almost didn't hear her.

"About what?" I asked warily. I had a lot of mixed feelings about a lot of things. That was a loaded question.

"About all of it. The time change, how we've been treating you…us," her last word sounded strangled. That was one hell of a question. I took a deep breath, finally decided to man up and getting ready for whatever consequences my admission might bring about.

"The time change, well, it's probably the coolest thing I have ever heard of. I mean, it breaks the laws of physics! I would love to know how the hell it happened. Well, I'm sure you know me when there's a new puzzle and all," I gave her a smirk. Her responding smile was hesitant, but not sad.

"Get to the point Donovan. I also know you have a tendency to babble," she joked, leaning into me and tucking her head comfortably against the crook of my neck.

"Well, as for how you guys are treating me, it's…different, but not in a bad way. It sort of put me on edge at first but I like it. It's more fun to be part of the problem solving than being locked up," I explained. I felt her breath ghost across my skin, causing goose bumps, as she laughed. I shifted slightly under her, trying not to focus on the heat that spread through my body.

"And…us?" she asked hesitantly. I wonder if she was as afraid to ask as I was to answer. Ok Donovan, moment of truth.

"As for…us, well, I thought I had liked you before when you were arresting me all the time, but now…well damn Jo," I took a deep breath, here it goes, "I might as well give you that ring back," I said in a rush. There, I admitted it. I may not have said the L-word but I was sure she would know what I meant. Daring to glance down, I saw that she had frozen up in shock, fresh tears welling up in her eyes. Before I could lose the nerve I had built up to admit my feelings, I leaned forward, capturing her lips with mine. I reveled in the sensation, her lips moving against mine as she responded instantly to me. I nipped her lower lip, gaining access to her mouth, gladly deepening the kiss. God, if I knew kissing Jo Lupo was this good I would've done everything in my power to have gotten her to go out with me from the very beginning. In another lifetime I, in fact, had done just that apparently. Jo's hands wandering up my tee shirt ground any thinking processes to a halt and grabbing her hips, I tugged her firmly against me. I could feel her lips curl into a smile before she pulled away, tugging my shirt up and over my head. I grinned, ready to return the gesture, reaching forward and tugging at the bottom of the tank top she was wearing.

"Zane, I think there are better places than the couch to be doing this sort of thing," she whispered, leaning forward to nip the sensitive skin of my neck before sliding away from me, off the couch. I watched, in a daze as she sauntered down the hall, giving me a "come hither" look over her shoulder before disappearing up the stairs. As soon as she left my sight I followed that goddess of a woman up the stairs, grinning like a fool as I followed her into her bedroom.

I woke up slowly, feeling oddly content. As I felt a body shift next to me, a grin spread across my face. Opening my eyes, I glanced down to see Josephina Lupo draped across my chest, a small smile on her face as she slept. As my brain started working again I smirked, last night had been amazing. Making love to her had been exactly how I thought it would be, all passion and fire, with just a bit of sweetness. It had been a little disconcerting at first, the way she knew my body so well, but in the hours that passed, I got to know hers just as well. Shifting Jo to the side slightly, I sat up, scanning the room for my clothes. A grin spread across my face as I found my jeans under a very familiar pair of blue silky lingerie. Leaning over the edge of the bed, I snatched up my jeans and rummaged my pockets until I found what I was looking for.

"Hm, Zane? What're you doing?" Jo mumbled, still half asleep. I turned back to her, my grin softening into an affectionate smile.

"Nothing sweetheart, just getting you something. Go back to sleep," I told her, sliding back to my original spot, next to her.

"What'd you get me?" she asked through a yawn as she snuggled up next to me again.

"Hold out your left hand," I requested. She did and I slid my grandmother's ring onto her fourth finger, right where it belonged. Blinking tiredly as she examined her hand, I watched for her reaction.

"It couldn't have waited until the morning?" she finally grumbled, tucking her head under my chin as she lay back across my torso.

"Nope Jojo, it couldn't," I whispered, kissing the top of her head. She hmmed back at me and I let myself drift back into sleep, finally content now that Jo was wearing the ring on her finger. Whatever the future held for us, I was sure Jo and I could last through whatever Eureka had to throw our way because this woman, this amazing, crazy woman, was in love with a reckless man like me.

A/N ok, so if you don't recognize the lyrics, the song is Papa Roach's "Reckless". i love this song so much and every time i listened to it, all i could imagine was Jo and Zane. Originally i didn't have an account on the site and actually asked Sydnew to write something based on the song, but decided to man up and write it myself. Sydrew was actually a big inspiration as well as a couple of my other favorite authors on the site, so a special thanks to them. Sydnew, an extra special thanks to you for proof reading my story and encouraging me to continue and actually post it! Originally i was just going to write something closely based on the lyrics, but by the end it just took on a life of its own, so i hope you enjoyed reading. oh, by the way, i don't own Eureka...you know how it goes. lol.