Disclaimer: I do not own Arby 'n' the Chief. That is the property of DigitalPh33r.

Cooking With Gags

Arbiter appears with a white apron and a poofy chef's hat.

Arbiter: Hello. I am the Arbiter, and welcome to our new episode, "Cooking With Gags". Here, we will attempt to make penne with tomato sauce. I see Chief has gotten the ingredients.

(Arbiter looks at the ingredients and sees that Chief got out car oil.)

Arbiter: Chief! You do not use car oil in cooking! It's dangerous!

Chief: Th3n wtf doo u y00s th3n?

Arbiter: You use olive oil, you f***king idiot! I'll get it myself! Don't touch anything!

Chief: K

(Chief looks at the can of turpentine)

Arbiter: Don't even think about it!

Chief: OMGWTF! U 1z and a$$h0l3!

Arbiter: Anyway, you fill the pot with water until the surface of the water is an inch below the edge of the pot. Then you put it on the burner and drizzle some olive oil into the water with some salt. Wait until the water boils before you add in the pasta.

(Time elapses and the water boils.)

Arbiter: All right. I see the water is boiling. Now we add the pasta. (Pours the bag of penne into the water.) Then, we stir it to ensure that the pasta is covered by water. Then we wait for a while until the pasta is al dente.

(Time lapse)

Arbiter: Okay, now we drain the pasta and pour cold water on it to stop the cooking process. While Chief and I waited, I prepared the sauce with some butter to cut the acid. (drains the pasta, then adds it to the sauce.) Okay. Let it simmer for a while.

Chief: Th1s m33l r g0n b bl4$t! LOLOLOLOL! (pours gasoline into the pasta)

Arbiter: Chief, no! You're ruining the pasta!

The kitchen blows up. All that's left of it is sooten walls and pieces of the stove and pot. Both action figures survive. Chief puts out a flame on the Arbiter's head.

Arbiter: Grr... Chief, you f***ing idiot! Look at what you did to the kitchen!

Chief: C? 1 t0lds u taht 1t r g0n b bl4$t! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

Arbiter: (Starts chasing Chief around the apartment) That does it! I am going to kill you!

(Camera turns to Cortana)

Cortana: That concludes our episode, "Cooking With Gags"